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(Telegraph)   Sure, you could argue that there are places other than Britain more worthy of the "nanny state" tag, but then you'll read all about how you now require proof of age to buy a teaspoon, so why bother?   (telegraph.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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13304 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2009 at 3:27 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-05-05 04:13:55 PM  
The shop assistant reportedly informed the customer that someone had once been murdered with a teaspoon, and therefore age identification was now required.

How the fark do you - I mean, in what possible way can you murder someone with - just what the hell is going on here, anyway?

Sorry. I meant to put that in stereotypical cockney bobbie speech:

"Whass all this, then?"
 
2009-05-05 04:14:37 PM  

PJ_the_Barbarian: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?

English-to-Yank translation:

Glues... erm, don't you call it glue there as well? Try adhesive fluid if not.

Marker pens: "sharpies"

Correction fluid: "whiteout", I think you call it, the big brand name's Tipp-Ex over here.

In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

I'm guessing that the 'WTF' was an expression of confusion over why the sale of those would be restricted and not a inquiry of what each item was. That was my reaction anyway.

my thought was that a glue and a solvent would seem to be... opposites.


It does seem that Elmer's and turpentine wouldn't go well together...
 
2009-05-05 04:17:51 PM  

Fizpez: Then do what they(the keeper of the checkout lights) do every time I buy alcohol at a self-checker - put 7/7/77 in and be done with it.


Aside from those people who consent to give up every minutia of their lives via loyalty card, it would actually pretty hard for a supermarket to legally retain customer ID information.
 
2009-05-05 04:18:37 PM  

thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?

English-to-Yank translation:

Glues... erm, don't you call it glue there as well? Try adhesive fluid if not.

Marker pens: "sharpies"

Correction fluid: "whiteout", I think you call it, the big brand name's Tipp-Ex over here.

In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

I'm guessing that the 'WTF' was an expression of confusion over why the sale of those would be restricted and not a inquiry of what each item was. That was my reaction anyway.

OK, I thought that would have been quite obvious... Solvent-based products can be used to get high, like Mr Gold Paint Face. Teenagers too young to drink are the usual culprits for this, hence the age restriction.


Right, but I don't think they are restricted in America. Maybe they are?

The idea seems odd to me though. I don't know, I've just never been carded for rubber cement.
 
2009-05-05 04:19:46 PM  
You can think this is a crazy law.. until you have seen a dead body that looks like it has broken out in a rash of smily faces. Spoons are dangerous, and regulation is long overdue. I read just the other day that children in the UK are wearing spoon-resistant clothes to school.

Civilization is overrated.
 
2009-05-05 04:19:59 PM  

CygnusDarius: Zombies?.


Unlikely, it would be difficult to get that fat eating only braiiiiiiiiins.
 
2009-05-05 04:21:40 PM  

dennysgod: Not what I expected. I thought this would be the reason:


Two years sobriety, and now I've suddenly got the urge again. shiat.
 
2009-05-05 04:23:13 PM  

LesserEvil: Why a nanny state needs to control this is beyond me.


It's a bit of law, relating to the sale and storage of explosives, which pre-dates their existence by a couple of centuries. Same goes for Christmas crackers.

Stupid, but I think it's safe to assume the party popper industry doesn't have particularly powerful lobbyists to have it changed.
 
2009-05-05 04:26:56 PM  
Mah spoon is too big.
Mah spoon is too big.
Mah spoon is too big.

adimccbc.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-05-05 04:28:07 PM  

Jocundry: thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?

English-to-Yank translation:

Glues... erm, don't you call it glue there as well? Try adhesive fluid if not.

Marker pens: "sharpies"

Correction fluid: "whiteout", I think you call it, the big brand name's Tipp-Ex over here.

In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

I'm guessing that the 'WTF' was an expression of confusion over why the sale of those would be restricted and not a inquiry of what each item was. That was my reaction anyway.

OK, I thought that would have been quite obvious... Solvent-based products can be used to get high, like Mr Gold Paint Face. Teenagers too young to drink are the usual culprits for this, hence the age restriction.

Right, but I don't think they are restricted in America. Maybe they are?

The idea seems odd to me though. I don't know, I've just never been carded for rubber cement.


IIRC, the restriction was put into place in the UK after a couple of high profile stories involving teenagers who died sniffing glue. Maybe you guys just didn't get such stories reported by the tabloids like we did?
 
2009-05-05 04:32:09 PM  
In Munich, Germany, I had to show my passport (which they photocopied to keep a record of it) to buy a bottle of water!

tbn2.google.com = tbn0.google.com

(truth be told, it was in the international section of the airport)
 
2009-05-05 04:32:52 PM  
"If the Government are going to try to take away my constitutional rights this way, I'm going to carry the biggest calibre teaspoon I can find,"

I lol'd
 
2009-05-05 04:38:14 PM  
I submit to you that someone needs to kill a fellow brit with a sheaf of regulations. One way or the other, this will solve the problem.

/especially if they kill a royal
 
2009-05-05 04:38:16 PM  

thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?

English-to-Yank translation:

Glues... erm, don't you call it glue there as well? Try adhesive fluid if not.

Marker pens: "sharpies"

Correction fluid: "whiteout", I think you call it, the big brand name's Tipp-Ex over here.

In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

I'm guessing that the 'WTF' was an expression of confusion over why the sale of those would be restricted and not a inquiry of what each item was. That was my reaction anyway.

OK, I thought that would have been quite obvious... Solvent-based products can be used to get high, like Mr Gold Paint Face. Teenagers too young to drink are the usual culprits for this, hence the age restriction.

Right, but I don't think they are restricted in America. Maybe they are?

The idea seems odd to me though. I don't know, I've just never been carded for rubber cement.

IIRC, the restriction was put into place in the UK after a couple of high profile stories involving teenagers who died sniffing glue. Maybe you guys just didn't get such stories reported by the tabloids like we did?


In Yankland after some kids died sniffing glue and huffing paint we simply put on some afternoon specials and told teens to knock it off rather than going barmy and outlawing it for minors.
 
2009-05-05 04:38:47 PM  
I recently had to do an age-check at an UK store self-checkout when buying a packet of _plastic_ knives.

WTF???
 
2009-05-05 04:38:51 PM  

thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Jocundry: thenewflesh: Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?

English-to-Yank translation:

Glues... erm, don't you call it glue there as well? Try adhesive fluid if not.

Marker pens: "sharpies"

Correction fluid: "whiteout", I think you call it, the big brand name's Tipp-Ex over here.

In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

I'm guessing that the 'WTF' was an expression of confusion over why the sale of those would be restricted and not a inquiry of what each item was. That was my reaction anyway.

OK, I thought that would have been quite obvious... Solvent-based products can be used to get high, like Mr Gold Paint Face. Teenagers too young to drink are the usual culprits for this, hence the age restriction.

Right, but I don't think they are restricted in America. Maybe they are?

The idea seems odd to me though. I don't know, I've just never been carded for rubber cement.

IIRC, the restriction was put into place in the UK after a couple of high profile stories involving teenagers who died sniffing glue. Maybe you guys just didn't get such stories reported by the tabloids like we did?


Maybe. I know kids over here have died from sniffing glue, but maybe we've never had a high profile story about some snowflake melting from glue and how outraged his/her parents are about how easy it was for the kid to fry his/her brains. Now that I think about it, I am surprised that the sale of glues, etc., aren't restricted.
 
2009-05-05 04:38:59 PM  
Computer says noooo...
 
2009-05-05 04:43:44 PM  
Also seems appropriate:

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2009-05-05 04:45:05 PM  

LesserEvil: Hagbardr: Snarfangel: You'd better be older than 16.

/Oh, wait, that was poppers. Sorry.

Those are just "poppers"

These are "Party Poppers"

...and honestly, I don't see how these were much fun after I turned 6. Why a nanny state needs to control this is beyond me.


Because they make a mess?
 
2009-05-05 04:46:42 PM  

Digitalstrange: "If the Government are going to try to take away my constitutional rights this way, I'm going to carry the biggest calibre teaspoon I can find,"

I lol'd


Everything but the "mix-up" reality check at the end of this article was pretty damned hilarious. If you just ignore the whole, false government angle and just let it be farce, it is pure win.
 
2009-05-05 04:47:52 PM  

PJ_the_Barbarian: FarkinNortherner: Dr.Knockboots: However, wouldn't a clerk of any level of intelligence be able to see it's a spoon and say "oh, carry on".

Have you seen the people who work in ASDA ?

flyingmonkeysreign: FTA: "It's most likely a mix-up with the bar codes."


See, they're not oppresive, just stupid.


/do what the scanner tells you
//DO IT

to be fair, the register could be programmed in such a way as to not complete a sale until some information from the ID was entered.


Even if that's true, that doesn't relieve anyone in this transaction from needing to be hit in the head with a shovel. It's all dumb.
 
2009-05-05 04:50:00 PM  

knifefish: Also, cold medicine.

When I was there on a school trip at age 17, I got a really bad cold. It was pretty damp there, which I hear is pretty rare. I digress.

I went to the store to get some medicine and due to methwatch type laws they couldn't sell me anything over the counter unless I was 18. To be fair the clerk looked extremely embarassed because it was such a clear situation.

So I went and found the one person who was 18, the one buying everyone alcohol. And I got her to buy me some cold/flu medicine. Ridiculous. What they need is some common sense.


It's not just the UK. I tried to buy sudaphed at lunch yesterday for my swine flu, i mean allergies, and the pharmacist wouldn't sell it to me without my drivers license. Which I didn't have with me because I walked there. So I got to suffer all afternoon too.

The runny nose, the red face, the stuffy sound of my voice, did I really look like I was going to make meth with it? stupid. stupid. stupid.
 
2009-05-05 04:50:25 PM  
If its a nanny-off yer after I was in Colorado a while back, and you need frekkin ID to buy rubber johnies there, so I think you yanks win the "nanny state" prize (though make sure you don't take it out of its protective rubber sheath, it's got sharp edges!).
 
2009-05-05 04:56:16 PM  

griffin2000: If its a nanny-off yer after I was in Colorado a while back, and you need frekkin ID to buy rubber johnies there, so I think you yanks win the "nanny state" prize (though make sure you don't take it out of its protective rubber sheath, it's got sharp edges!).


Age of consent in CO is 17. Therefore if you're below 17, you can't purchase contraceptives, because it's against the law to use them. Just like alcohol or cigarettes. NOT like a frakking spoon.
 
2009-05-05 04:59:32 PM  
Well, to be fair, spooning can be a gateway to UPIA.
 
2009-05-05 05:01:42 PM  
O.K., here's what REALLY happened :
The shop-clerk thought that the shopper was cute and just wanted an excuse to find out her name. And address. And weight. And Date of Birth. And Driver's Lic.#. etc.


-- End of story!
 
2009-05-05 05:03:25 PM  

thirstymick: It's not just the UK. I tried to buy sudaphed at lunch yesterday for my swine flu, i mean allergies, and the pharmacist wouldn't sell it to me without my drivers license.


It isn't the UK. Of course an individual store can do what it likes, but there are no legal age restrictions on OTC pharmaceutical products.
 
2009-05-05 05:11:24 PM  
Hmmm... seems the British have yet to realize the truth...

Neo: What truth?
Boy: There is no spoon.

fusionanomaly.net
 
2009-05-05 05:16:58 PM  

dennysgod: Not what I expected. I thought this would be the reason:


Same here... I'm wondering when they'll get around to IDs for the "cleaning supplies" and "cookware" that you can find on the impulse-buy-shelves...
/beside every cash register...
//in every convienence store...
///in every state...
DUH. If you wanna know who's doing what...
 
2009-05-05 05:29:08 PM  
I think they should put restrictions on purchasing fresh fruit.

"When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!"
 
2009-05-05 05:45:19 PM  

FarkinNortherner: thirstymick: It's not just the UK. I tried to buy sudaphed at lunch yesterday for my swine flu, i mean allergies, and the pharmacist wouldn't sell it to me without my drivers license.

It isn't the UK. Of course an individual store can do what it likes, but there are no legal age restrictions on OTC pharmaceutical products.


I'm in the US. The pharmacist said it was the law now that she can't sell it to me without writing down my drivers license number in some book.
 
2009-05-05 05:56:29 PM  

thirstymick: FarkinNortherner: thirstymick: It's not just the UK. I tried to buy sudaphed at lunch yesterday for my swine flu, i mean allergies, and the pharmacist wouldn't sell it to me without my drivers license.

It isn't the UK. Of course an individual store can do what it likes, but there are no legal age restrictions on OTC pharmaceutical products.

I'm in the US. The pharmacist said it was the law now that she can't sell it to me without writing down my drivers license number in some book.


That's 'cause Sudafed is a precursor for manufacturing crank.
 
2009-05-05 06:05:30 PM  

LordBollocks: We lost half the world in half a century and now this ...

/Ashamed to be British ;(


You guys had a good run, though! At least you guys hold the record for the largest empire in history, and will continue to do so for a good long time.
 
2009-05-05 06:06:08 PM  

Age of consent in CO is 17. Therefore if you're below 17, you can't purchase contraceptives, because it's against the law to use them. Just like alcohol or cigarettes. NOT like a frakking spoon.


So in the UK you need to be 16 before you can buy knives, in the US (at least parts of it) you need to 17 before you can by a harmless plastic baloon.....

As I said come up and collect your "most retarded nanny state" award US-of-A....

And don't even get me started on the whole cold medicine thing... Yes I would like to give the government my name and address so they check I'm not using this perfectly legal medicine to get high.
 
2009-05-05 06:15:46 PM  

buckler:
That's 'cause Sudafed is a precursor for manufacturing crank.


Yes, but you'd need a whole bunch of sudafed - way more than 1 or 2 boxes. We're talking dozens of cases here.

CO is just stupid. A friend of mine drives back to CO to see her parents regularly and always brings them bags of sudafed because it's just too annoying to get it from the stores there. She jokes that if she ever got pulled over during a drive back, she'd end up getting arrested as a drug dealer.
 
2009-05-05 06:24:21 PM  
Protect yourself from the Spoon Menace; buy Spooooooooon Guaaaaaaaaaaard.

/La la la la la la
 
2009-05-05 07:34:37 PM  
img8.imageshack.us
 
2009-05-05 07:49:37 PM  

FarkinNortherner: thirstymick: It's not just the UK. I tried to buy sudaphed at lunch yesterday for my swine flu, i mean allergies, and the pharmacist wouldn't sell it to me without my drivers license.

It isn't the UK. Of course an individual store can do what it likes, but there are no legal age restrictions on OTC pharmaceutical products.


Some states now have requirements that you can't sell certain OTC cold medicines etc without reporting to the state who you're selling it to. It's not an age requirement, but the man tryin to hold a brotha down.
 
2009-05-05 07:49:45 PM  
Jocundry

Thank you for clarifying my position for people (stupid work). I know about huffing, but being unable to buy some markers or white-out until age 18 seems beyond the pale. Especially since you can buy aerosol paint at 16. It seems absurd to prohibit school supplies because of a few deaths.

thenewflesh In other words: people in other countries don't use brand names to describe everything :)

My ass. You know what to do. ;)
 
2009-05-05 08:01:17 PM  
FarkinNortherner:
Stupid, but I think it's safe to assume the party popper industry doesn't have particularly powerful lobbyists to have it changed.

The ironic twist to this is that Party Poppers are ten-a-penny (well, maybe ten a pound) in the UK, but the last time I tried to buy them in the US they cost $10 for a pack I would have expected to pay 50 pence for back in the UK. Something to do with the US law and gun powder...
 
2009-05-05 08:03:46 PM  

Maybe if you English weren't so irresponsible you wouldn't have such a nanny state. Grow up Britain.

shop.black-dragon-king-fanware.com

 
2009-05-05 08:05:13 PM  

Hagbardr: Snarfangel: You'd better be older than 16.

/Oh, wait, that was poppers. Sorry.


Funnily enough, the age of consent here is 16, and I believe the age you need to be to buy poppers is the same, so you can in fact buy yourself some poppers, get down to your local gay bar, get all popped up, have yourself a gay orgy, all legally, at 16.

You can't buy a pack of painkillers afterwards to ease your aching ring though.
And if you videoed yourself then watch it, you're guilty of making & distributing child pornography and showing it to a minor (yourself). Sense. It does not make any.
 
2009-05-05 08:09:15 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: It seems absurd to prohibit school supplies because of a few deaths.


Indeed, and most school children don't have parents, nor is it possible for schools to procure supplies for art or craft lessons.
 
2009-05-05 08:11:40 PM  

FarkinNortherner: Duck_of_Doom: It seems absurd to prohibit school supplies because of a few deaths.

Indeed, and most school children don't have parents, nor is it possible for schools to procure supplies for art or craft lessons.


Won't somebody think of the children? Why would you corrupt an underage child with things he is not supposed to buy?
 
2009-05-05 08:14:28 PM  

Inibrius: Age of consent in CO is 17. Therefore if you're below 17, you can't purchase contraceptives, because it's against the law to use them. Just like alcohol or cigarettes. NOT like a frakking spoon.


To get drunk you need alcohol.
To smoke you need cigarettes.
To Cut His Heart Out With A Spoon you need a spoon.
To have sex you need condoms.

One of those statements stands out as significantly more inaccurate than the others.
 
2009-05-05 08:26:36 PM  
p_hiro: To get drunk you need alcohol. To smoke you need cigarettes. To Cut His Heart Out With A Spoon you need a spoon. To have sex you need condoms. One of those statements stands out as significantly more inaccurate than the others.

That is true. In fact, it must be true as a matter of strict logic, because 3 of the four statements are tautologies. In particular: You do indeed need cigarettes to smoke cigarettes, you do indeed need alcohol to drink alcohol, and you do indeed need a spoon to cut out someone's heart with a spoon. As a matter of strict logic, however, you do not need condoms to have sex (although it may be a good idea). So the answer is "D."

/"D" is the answer.
 
2009-05-05 08:27:26 PM  

Fano: Why would you corrupt an underage child with things he is not supposed to buy?


Because my application to become a Catholic priest was turned down ?
 
2009-05-05 08:45:12 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: mill


i40.tinypic.com
Approves
 
2009-05-06 12:05:15 AM  

Dr.Knockboots: However, wouldn't a clerk of any level of intelligence be able to see it's a spoon and say "oh, carry on".
If a clerk would require proof of age for buying a teaspoon, then that clerk needs to be drug out and shot in front of anyone who believes these nanny state rules are good.


Asda is a subsidiary of Wal-Mart. I think that tells you everything you need to know about the store & its employees.
 
2009-05-06 07:23:39 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: FarkinNortherner: For the benefit of the upcoming whargarbl, here are all the products that are age restricted:

Solvents i,e, glues, marker pens & correction fluid
18

WTF? Am I missing something?


A brain?
 
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