FARK.com: (4366847) The Facebook Nipple Patrol

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		The Facebook Nipple Patrol (newsweek.com)		106
		More: Interesting

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15383 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 May 2009 at 12:52 PM | Favorite | share:

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staplermofo		2009-05-04 10:19:41 AM

I can see those guys spending 8 hours a day searching facebook for nipples.

labman		2009-05-04 10:26:51 AM

They get paid $50,000 a year to look for porn.

I am in the wrong business.

vossiewulf		2009-05-04 10:43:47 AM

labman: They get paid $50,000 a year to look for porn.

I am in the wrong business.

Considering the number of users who are underage, I'm wondering how they avoid jail time for doing their jobs.

Thoguh		2009-05-04 10:49:42 AM

"If [Facebook] got polluted as just a place for wild and crazy kids, that would destroy the ability to achieve the ultimate vision, which is to create a service for literally everyone,"

Um, the origional reason for facebook was to be a place for wild and crazy college kids. Every change they make just takes them further and further away from that origional premise.

gravital		2009-05-04 10:50:52 AM

With a 2600 shirt on, he means business.

notmtwain		2009-05-04 10:50:56 AM

Nipple patrol sounds good but how about Gogglers?.

bongmiester		2009-05-04 10:51:25 AM

why do they all look like chronic masterbaters?

basemetal		2009-05-04 10:52:26 AM

I wonder if they are more uniform in their deletions than photobucket?

s369.photobucket.com

NikolaiFarkoff		2009-05-04 10:53:30 AM

Thoguh: Um, the origional reason for facebook was to be a place for wild and crazy college kids. Every change they make just takes them further and further away from that origional premise.

America is full of people who want to pretend they're still in HS or college, so I think it's working pretty well. But I'm with you, I never would have gambled it'd be this successful.

To paraphrase, nobody every went broke underestimating the vanity of the American public.

Burninate		2009-05-04 10:55:41 AM

That's really just an all around awkward picture. But it also serves as a who's who of random celebrities.

Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark
Brandon from 90210
Dr. Who
and then some chick who vaguely resembles Michelle Trachtenberg

All the while, all four of them are managing to look semi-awkward to really awkward (Dr. Who and Michelle) quite amusing if you ask me

/didn't even have to look up how to spell Trachtenberg

Visualingo		2009-05-04 11:00:00 AM

The Facebook Ass Photo Patrol, or FAPP.

Bored Horde		2009-05-04 11:04:49 AM

basemetal: I wonder if they are more uniform in their deletions than photobucket?

Epic

FuturePastNow		2009-05-04 11:38:03 AM

I should move to Silicon Valley.

PC LOAD LETTER		2009-05-04 11:44:43 AM

(.)

rikdanger		2009-05-04 11:46:35 AM

NikolaiFarkoff: To paraphrase, nobody every went broke underestimating the vanity of the American public.

Except me, apparently. I opened up a monocle store, which went tits-up in 6 months. I mean, who doesn't think monocles look cool?

Beatle_Matt		2009-05-04 11:49:23 AM

they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

NikolaiFarkoff		2009-05-04 11:51:09 AM

rikdanger: Except me, apparently. I opened up a monocle store, which went tits-up in 6 months. I mean, who doesn't think monocles look cool?

I figured they would have gotten huge in the wake of the appearance of "Count Homer." Look at Bentley, they're selling well and aren't paying a dime to the Simpsons.

The Onanist		2009-05-04 12:11:20 PM

bongmiester: why do they all look like chronic masterbaters?

Say the with a smile next time.

Hank Rearden		2009-05-04 12:36:04 PM

I got a better name for them: Party Poopers.

Ponzholio		2009-05-04 12:57:55 PM

I've been tempted to buy Fark headline t-shirts a few times... This is definitely one of those times...

spqr2001		2009-05-04 01:02:04 PM

They had to have the girl on the team because the guys have never seen a nipple

matalo		2009-05-04 01:02:04 PM

Pics or GTFO!

Thisbymaster		2009-05-04 01:02:34 PM

I would join this group, and keep back up copies of all these "nipple" pictures. Also they should outsource to people that live across the country. Which it wouldn't be hard to do, just make an admin account and interview the people. I will work hard looking for every last nipple on the internet. I am the best at what I do.

dfxdeimos		2009-05-04 01:03:32 PM

2600 Shirt + Mac = Douchebag

If he was hardcore he would be running FreeBSD on his farking timex watch.

emocomputerjock		2009-05-04 01:05:05 PM

Beatle_Matt: they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

That is the face of fail.

kyleaugustus		2009-05-04 01:07:43 PM

What a nipple may look like.

Otackle72		2009-05-04 01:08:23 PM

emocomputerjock: Beatle_Matt: they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

That is the face of fail.

Excellent name for a band.

1st album is nothing but Britney Spears covers.

Nemo's Brother		2009-05-04 01:08:48 PM

Beatle_Matt: they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

Nice.

A lot of TFers would like them because they are so indie.

AnotherDisillusionedCollegeStudent		2009-05-04 01:10:16 PM

Thoguh: Um, the origional reason for facebook was to be a place for ~~wild and crazy~~ upwardly mobile college kids.

MySpace was for the proles.

SiON42X		2009-05-04 01:10:39 PM

What a douche might look like

img518.imageshack.us

What a douche looks like

Otackle72		2009-05-04 01:11:18 PM

Nemo's Brother: Beatle_Matt: they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

Nice.

A lot of TFers would like them because they are so indie.

I heard of them first....and every band you like is crap.

/ So alternative it hurts

// Sarcasm

under a mountain		2009-05-04 01:13:43 PM

I don't think they'd put the drummer way up front like that.

tokyotron		2009-05-04 01:13:44 PM

dfxdeimos: 2600 Shirt + Mac = Douchebag

If he was hardcore he would be running FreeBSD on his farking timex watch.

Amen to this. How about they go through and get rid of all the damn easter egg trading crap and people who want you to join their petition to keep Facebook free? I would appreciate a little more boobie in my social networking.

emocomputerjock		2009-05-04 01:15:28 PM

under a mountain: I don't think they'd put the drummer way up front like that.

It's a foo fighters kind of thing - they put the blandest member with the widest appeal up front.

redmond24		2009-05-04 01:16:08 PM

kyleaugustus: What a nipple may look like.

i147.photobucket.com

under a mountain		2009-05-04 01:21:04 PM

scarmig		2009-05-04 01:22:07 PM

facebook requires your real name?

Fark that.

ATXtech		2009-05-04 01:22:08 PM

basemetal: I wonder if they are more uniform in their deletions than photobucket?

Lmao, this is so true. I had managed to find versions of the "O Rly?" owl for just about every single race (thanks fark threads!) and for some reason the only one photobucket found offensive was the Asian one...

dfxdeimos		2009-05-04 01:23:13 PM

tokyotron: dfxdeimos: 2600 Shirt + Mac = Douchebag

If he was hardcore he would be running FreeBSD on his farking timex watch.

Amen to this. How about they go through and get rid of all the damn easter egg trading crap and people who want you to join their petition to keep Facebook free? I would appreciate a little more boobie in my social networking.

Indeed.

I don't understand why my family gets pissed when I tell them "not to send me that stupid farking shiat"

cragmor		2009-05-04 01:25:31 PM

Note the dude up front, with the strong hip on fist stance. He looks like a douched out Robert Downey Jr. Note the girl on the left. She looks like she is hiding something? Perhaps a nipple or two on the interwebs?

T-Luv		2009-05-04 01:29:14 PM

Where can I access the offending photos once they have been taken down from Facebook?

Ctrl-Alt-Del		2009-05-04 01:29:59 PM

staplermofo: I can see those guys spending 8 hours a day searching facebook for nipples.

Hell, at least they get paid for it - all I get is a sore wrist.

/What?
// If that's wrong, I don't want to be right

jcsturgeon		2009-05-04 01:36:13 PM

Beatle_Matt: they look like an indie rock band.

/chick singer
//red shirt guy is the guitarist
///black shirt guy is the drummer
////water bottle rocker is the bassist

Why would the drummer be standing in front?

Anyway, shun them! Shun the nipple patrol! (Who is out there flagging nip shots anyway? 'save image as' first.

The_Time_Master		2009-05-04 01:37:50 PM

The guy in the 2600 shirt is the definition of POSER.

If you read 2600, you would understand that it's important to pursue freedom. And if your job is to censor, then you are going against that pursuit.

MindStalker		2009-05-04 01:38:21 PM

dfxdeimos: tokyotron: dfxdeimos: 2600 Shirt + Mac = Douchebag

If he was hardcore he would be running FreeBSD on his farking timex watch.

Amen to this. How about they go through and get rid of all the damn easter egg trading crap and people who want you to join their petition to keep Facebook free? I would appreciate a little more boobie in my social networking.

Indeed.

I don't understand why my family gets pissed when I tell them "not to send me that stupid farking shiat"

You can now "ignore this application" meaning no more eggs, at least untill someone makes a identical application just like it.

peachpicker		2009-05-04 01:41:21 PM

factoryconnection		2009-05-04 01:42:55 PM

jcsturgeon: Anyway, shun them! Shun the nipple patrol! (Who is out there flagging nip shots anyway? 'save image as' first.

Any image/spam filtering to keep FB off of workplace blacklists is okay by me. The internet is full of nudity and porn to suit any taste and for free. I don't need it on FB, too.

kyleaugustus: What a nipple may look like.

At least it doesn't have dried colostrum on it.

Pxtl		2009-05-04 01:43:32 PM

On the one hand, Facebook has got to be keeping a really tight watch on these dudes to make sure they don't keep anything.

2600 keeps everything that won't get the FBI breaking down his door, just to prove he can. He has a meticulous anonymous process for storing it all. The admin knows about it, but doesn't care.

Black-plaid-shirt-dude just keeps the kiddie-porn. He's framing 2600 dude for it, half-assedly... but the admin is completely unaware of his shenanigans because he's not creating weird traffic with vain attempts to cover his tracks.

Girl never received the company guidelines, so she makes it up as she goes along. She's always behind schedule because she's obsessively worrying about whether to censor the next pic. It is long since too late for her to admit she doesn't have a copy of the guidelines.

Red-shirt dude uses his job to find out which women on facebook he should stalk. He also likes to photoshop his lady-coworker's head onto the bodies of reported images, then submit them back into Facebook. She hasn't seen them yet.

factoryconnection		2009-05-04 01:44:31 PM

MindStalker: You can now "ignore this application" meaning no more eggs, at least untill someone makes a identical application just like it.

I have a few high-school-era friends on FB that have given me a lot of time clicking through the blocking procedure. They tend to be "fans" of dumb sh*t, like Domino's Pizza and "sleep," as well.

flyingmonkeysreign		2009-05-04 01:47:44 PM

Well thank god this is an article about the people who follow up on 'flag' clicks. If this was a story about a group of people who took it upon themselves to check public profiles (which from the pic they kind of look like) based on donations from far right bible groups, I'd probably be googling everything I could about them to put on 4chan.

As is, good on facebook. Can't really complain.

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