"Whack them in the head, stun them and then decapitate them."

?!

That's not a tutorial on how to deal with iguanas; that's the TV news brief on how to destroy zombies from Night of the Living Dead!

/approves
//hotlinked

I wish I was in Tijuana

/bbq

I have a pet iguana, so I'm wanting to kick...

Bathia_Mapes: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whack them in the head, stun them and then decapitate them.

So "Whack them in the head, stun them and then decapitate them" isn't considered animal cruelty, but whacking them more than once is? Madness!

Seriously. What's wrong with just whacking them once really really hard on the head with a sledge hammer thus avoiding the messy and potentially dangerous decapitation. Well, I guess it could still get messy.

tatum: I wish I was in Tijuana

/bbq

Listening to a Mexican Radio?

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: "Whack them in the head, stun them and then decapitate them."

?!

That's not a tutorial on how to deal with iguanas; that's the TV news brief on how to destroy zombies from Night of the Living Dead!

Shouldn't this be the solution to the zombie banks in the "Business" section.

Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

Deacon Blue: Is it animal cruelty if you fark them? Because I really like farking iguanas. Actually, I enjoy farking pretty much any reptile. Or mammal, marsupial, or avian. Inanimate objects are good too. Look, I'll fark anything that moves, or stands still, or stands still then moves, or moves then stands still; I guess you could say I'll fark anything.

I have a meat grinder right here....

Bathia_Mapes: Even messier if you didn't whack the iguana hard enough & it came to while you were trying to decapitate it. That would make it extra cranky.

Yeah, the iguana community usually frowns upon those shenanigans.

I'll bring my pet iguana to practice.

cantsleep: tatum: I wish I was in Tijuana

/bbq

Listening to a Mexican Radio?

Just what does he say?

Let butchers sell the meat. I guarantee the lizards will be extinct in a month.

I used to have an iguana, so he would get a kick out of these replies if he weren't dead and rotting somewhere out there in the world

"remove the head or destroy the brain"

This is what happens when these problems are left unchecked

xaks: Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

These are Farkers, sir. They don't let the facts get in the way of a good, simmering hatred. Nevermind that iguanas are a non-native species destroying the local ecosystem, nevermind that the bastard lizards are a pest to be exterminated along with rats, mice, and mosquitoes, they've made up their mind that we Floridians are all stupid, no matter how many world-class laboratories, universities, and companies have operations here, or the fact that we have some of the smartest minds in their respective fields. Nope, some retarded idiots in two county governments (out of 66) couldn't get their shat together for one election, and all of a sudden the whole peninsula is filled with stupid people.

Of course, with all the New Yorkers moving down here, the local average IQ certainly has decreased with respect to the increase of people from New York City.

/If you don't like Florida, leave.
//If you ain't living here, don't visit.
///Send your money in small, unmarked bills, and we'll send you pictures of Disney World and the beaches, so you don't have to come down here and can lie to your ignorant friends about having gone since you don't want to come anyway.
////Get off of my peninsula!

Yeah, you know, I vaguely remember the Simpsons doing something EXACTLY like this...

xaks: Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

They're in the lift, in the lorry, in the bond wizard, and all over the malonga gilderchuck.

/took the bait...

FTFA: "Al Cohen, of Manalapan, wanted to find out how to get rid of the six iguanas pestering his three dogs[...]"

This man is clearly gay and I hope his little toy dogs are devoured by reptiles before his eyes.

If somebody would post the video on YouTube that would be a bonus.

Oznog: Yeah, you know, I vaguely remember the Simpsons doing something EXACTLY like this...

I win by 3 minutes!

ShannonKW: FTFA: "Al Cohen, of Manalapan, wanted to find out how to get rid of the six iguanas pestering his three dogs[...]"

This man is clearly gay and I hope his little toy dogs are devoured by reptiles before his eyes.

If somebody would post the video on YouTube that would be a bonus.

My Daschund (aka the mighty dinosaur hunter) sneers at his chihuahuas.

not impressed

came for the whacking day references

leaving satisfied

News article about iguana meat

I am sure there are some Latin American immigrants down there willing to hunt these things down.

I've eaten my share of weird things, iguana has yet to be one of them, but they are probably pretty tasty, most animals are.

RUN! EVERYONE PANIC!

General Vayo: xaks: Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

These are Farkers, sir. They don't let the facts get in the way of a good, simmering hatred. Nevermind that iguanas are a non-native species destroying the local ecosystem, nevermind that the bastard lizards are a pest to be exterminated along with rats, mice, and mosquitoes, they've made up their mind that we Floridians are all stupid, no matter how many world-class laboratories, universities, and companies have operations here, or the fact that we have some of the smartest minds in their respective fields. Nope, some retarded idiots in two county governments (out of 66) couldn't get their shat together for one election, and all of a sudden the whole peninsula is filled with stupid people.

Of course, with all the New Yorkers moving down here, the local average IQ certainly has decreased with respect to the increase of people from New York City.

/If you don't like Florida, leave.
//If you ain't living here, don't visit.
///Send your money in small, unmarked bills, and we'll send you pictures of Disney World and the beaches, so you don't have to come down here and can lie to your ignorant friends about having gone since you don't want to come anyway.
////Get off of my peninsula!

All I can add to the sir is RaMen!!!!!

//Golf Clap
////What He said....Get off my peninsula!!!

I guess a fair number of Canadians have emigrated to Forida for retirement.

I'm not a Floridian. I just happen to live here now. As soon as my work here is done and I can get the same or better money elsewhere, I can't friggin' WAIT to move the hell off of america's wang. You can HAVE it.

In the meantime, these things are basically the land version of the suckerfishes that came up the great lakes and killed off half the marine life , can't remember their names. Not native species DESTROYING like an invasive cancer that consumes all resources and moves on, leaving a dead husk behind. The only way to combat them is extermination. Period. Otherwise they'll out-breed, out-eat, and out-everything you and win by a war of attrition.

I'll leave it to you to decide if I'm talking about the lizards or is this is a mis-post from the wetback flu thread.

General Vayo: xaks: Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

These are Farkers, sir. They don't let the facts get in the way of a good, simmering hatred. Nevermind that iguanas are a non-native species destroying the local ecosystem, nevermind that the bastard lizards are a pest to be exterminated along with rats, mice, and mosquitoes, they've made up their mind that we Floridians are all stupid, no matter how many world-class laboratories, universities, and companies have operations here, or the fact that we have some of the smartest minds in their respective fields. Nope, some retarded idiots in two county governments (out of 66) couldn't get their shat together for one election, and all of a sudden the whole peninsula is filled with stupid people.

Of course, with all the New Yorkers moving down here, the local average IQ certainly has decreased with respect to the increase of people from New York City.

/If you don't like Florida, leave.
//If you ain't living here, don't visit.
///Send your money in small, unmarked bills, and we'll send you pictures of Disney World and the beaches, so you don't have to come down here and can lie to your ignorant friends about having gone since you don't want to come anyway.
////Get off of my peninsula!

I was loving this until I saw that you put 66 counties instead of 67.

You're part of the problem.

jk, I admire your passion for the greatest state in the union

FLMountainMan: General Vayo: xaks: Read the article for once and look at the sizes they're referring to please.

Until you're trying to shoo away a 6 FOOT iguana that doesn't want to move WITHOUT a weapon of some sort, don't even give me any lip, m'mkay? These farkin' things are a pain in the ass down here, and everywhere.

These are Farkers, sir. They don't let the facts get in the way of a good, simmering hatred. Nevermind that iguanas are a non-native species destroying the local ecosystem, nevermind that the bastard lizards are a pest to be exterminated along with rats, mice, and mosquitoes, they've made up their mind that we Floridians are all stupid, no matter how many world-class laboratories, universities, and companies have operations here, or the fact that we have some of the smartest minds in their respective fields. Nope, some retarded idiots in two county governments (out of 66) couldn't get their shat together for one election, and all of a sudden the whole peninsula is filled with stupid people.

Of course, with all the New Yorkers moving down here, the local average IQ certainly has decreased with respect to the increase of people from New York City.

/If you don't like Florida, leave.
//If you ain't living here, don't visit.
///Send your money in small, unmarked bills, and we'll send you pictures of Disney World and the beaches, so you don't have to come down here and can lie to your ignorant friends about having gone since you don't want to come anyway.
////Get off of my peninsula!

I was loving this until I saw that you put 66 counties instead of 67.

You're part of the problem.

jk, I admire your passion for the greatest state in the union

No one wants to claim Pasco...

xaks: I'm not a Floridian. I just happen to live here now. As soon as my work here is done and I can get the same or better money elsewhere, I can't friggin' WAIT to move the hell off of america's wang. You can HAVE it.

In the meantime, these things are basically the land version of the suckerfishes that came up the great lakes and killed off half the marine life , can't remember their names. Not native species DESTROYING like an invasive cancer that consumes all resources and moves on, leaving a dead husk behind. The only way to combat them is extermination. Period. Otherwise they'll out-breed, out-eat, and out-everything you and win by a war of attrition.

I'll leave it to you to decide if I'm talking about the lizards or is this is a mis-post from the wetback flu thread.

Pretty sure the native crocs and gators feel the same about people farking up their marshlands for retirement homes
/Do you have a problem culling feral cats and dogs?

12 gauge
7 1/2 size shot
full choke
Problem solved.

shoot them out of the trees. The 7 1/2 shot coming back down will not have enough energy to injure anyone. (might sting)

Used to live in Miami.
No one will notice the gun shots as there is already so much gun fire going on.

In Florida we've got little lizards that run around all over the place. It's common, and we don't think much of it until folks from up North, or from overseas come to visit, and panic at the sight of them.

I've definately heard them called iguanas before, but they aren't.. they're like MAYBE 4 to 6 inches long from nose tip to tail tip. These lizards have long tails too. They're actually kinda' neat and you sometimes see them running around with a moth or a bull-ant or something else they've caught. They're good at getting rid of small insects.

Anyways, every once in awhile my uncle would come down to visit us and he'd start stomping them all over the front porch. The doorbell would ring, the door would open, and beyond him it was just carnage. It's about like stomping on mice. Why would you do that? lol You ain't coming in MY house with that crap on your feet.

"Got rid of those iguanas you guys had out here."

At 6 foot, I hope he doesn't come over anymore.

On a related note though.. 6 foot iguanas are big.. but they aren't as bad as you might visualize.. that's a whole lotta' tail on those things. A 6 footer is approximately sized like a large cat with a long, dragging tail behind it.

They bite though, and you can definately lose a finger when they're ill tempered, like sometimes during their mating season.

The monitor lizard? Those I would kill on sight.. those things are like iguanas evil cousin, the pit fighter. When the tail whips you, it can hurt pretty bad. When the teeth get you, you're going to hospital... either now or later.

If I start seeing those around here, I'm getting a holster sheath for my 36" machete, and wearing it to work.

Feral cats and dogs? Not really. Feral asshole humans either. Cull them all.

I havnen't spent much time out by the glades lately, but I hear from some airboatin buddies that the boas are getting hella out of control out there too.

Leave it to the damn people to move in an fark nature all up.

Dead-Guy: In Florida we've got little lizards that run around all over the place. It's common, and we don't think much of it until folks from up North, or from overseas come to visit, and panic at the sight of them.

I've definately heard them called iguanas before, but they aren't.. they're like MAYBE 4 to 6 inches long from nose tip to tail tip. These lizards have long tails too. They're actually kinda' neat and you sometimes see them running around with a moth or a bull-ant or something else they've caught. They're good at getting rid of small insects.

Anyways, every once in awhile my uncle would come down to visit us and he'd start stomping them all over the front porch. The doorbell would ring, the door would open, and beyond him it was just carnage. It's about like stomping on mice. Why would you do that? lol You ain't coming in MY house with that crap on your feet.

"Got rid of those iguanas you guys had out here."

At 6 foot, I hope he doesn't come over anymore.

On a related note though.. 6 foot iguanas are big.. but they aren't as bad as you might visualize.. that's a whole lotta' tail on those things. A 6 footer is approximately sized like a large cat with a long, dragging tail behind it.

They bite though, and you can definately lose a finger when they're ill tempered, like sometimes during their mating season.

The monitor lizard? Those I would kill on sight.. those things are like iguanas evil cousin, the pit fighter. When the tail whips you, it can hurt pretty bad. When the teeth get you, you're going to hospital... either now or later.

If I start seeing those around here, I'm getting a holster sheath for my 36" machete, and wearing it to work.

the tail is more the problem. they whip that thing around quite quick.

i've seen a few just after they were run over and the tail was swinging about wildly while the rest of them was freshly squished. not a pretty site.

there is a guy at work who picks them up when it is cold down here and they are 'frozen'....on second thought, i don't think anyone wants to know what he does after that.

Only way to be sure.

Grab a fencepost hold it tight, whomp your iguana with all your might; hit him in the shin hit him in the head, hit him again the critter ain't dead.

they are everywhere, when i moved out of florida i sent my two running up a tree, they were 3+ feet

Dead-Guy: In Florida we've got little lizards that run around all over the place. It's common, and we don't think much of it until folks from up North, or from overseas come to visit, and panic at the sight of them.

I've definately heard them called iguanas before, but they aren't.. they're like MAYBE 4 to 6 inches long from nose tip to tail tip. These lizards have long tails too. They're actually kinda' neat and you sometimes see them running around with a moth or a bull-ant or something else they've caught. They're good at getting rid of small insects.

Anyways, every once in awhile my uncle would come down to visit us and he'd start stomping them all over the front porch. The doorbell would ring, the door would open, and beyond him it was just carnage. It's about like stomping on mice. Why would you do that? lol You ain't coming in MY house with that crap on your feet.

"Got rid of those iguanas you guys had out here."

This is the funniest story I have heard in such a long time. I just think of a redneck stomping on lizards.

Lizards = good.
Iguanas = bad, but fun to look at.