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(NCBuy)   What would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now? He'd probably stink at "Family Feud." That's what Brian Boitano'd do   ( divider line
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6888 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2003 at 2:32 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

43 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-02-11 02:35:28 AM  
2003-02-11 02:36:07 AM  
does anyone have that picture of the Australian "Family Feud" where the "Family Feud" sign fell off it's rope things and landed on a family?
2003-02-11 02:37:19 AM  
Woop Dee Doo... zzzzz
2003-02-11 02:38:56 AM  
The Champions On Ice competition, which also stars Dorothy Hamill and Nancy Kerrigan, airs the week of February 17.

Richard Karn: Name something that's used by skanky redneck skaters to break kneecaps with!
2003-02-11 02:39:38 AM  
Stands on his soapbox

Hey! first the whole, "Dude you're getting a cell" fiasco now we got folks cut and pasting headlines?
(cues patriotic music)
Loyal citizens of Farkistan, what we have here is a travesty that dares hinder our very farktitude. WE cannot and WILL not stand for other news sources to create "witty" headlines for us! we must think before we post, or as my lawyer Johnny Cocrane told me " If the headline stinks you must not link." So in conclusion I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas, how it got into my pyjamas I don't know.
2003-02-11 02:40:11 AM  
you know, i was going to comment on the great headline....until i read the article...oh well
2003-02-11 02:42:37 AM  
I'd like to bang Dorothy Hamill.
2003-02-11 02:44:06 AM  

How does crap like this get through?
2003-02-11 02:45:03 AM  
Gbejrlsu: too.

2003-02-11 02:45:40 AM  
While she is wearing her skates.
2003-02-11 02:45:52 AM  

I just thought I'd perk this thread up a touch.
2003-02-11 02:46:10 AM  
People who can't think of a halfway original headline(or at least a funny ripoff) should be set on fire and thrown down an escalator. An "up" escalator, so they keep tumbling and tumbling and tumbling and tumbling without ever quite reaching the bottom.

For the record, all of my rejected Fark submissions had OUTSTANDING headlines. Wankers.
2003-02-11 02:47:35 AM  
Oh, and fark Brian Boitano with a cactus. If you're a grown man wearing ice skates, you'd damn well better be carrying a stick and missing some teeth.
2003-02-11 02:48:08 AM  
Stan: Wait, wait, just a second. Now we've got to think here. Now let's see. What would Brian Boitano do?
Cartman: Yeah. What would Brian Boitano do?
[Music. Brian Boitano appears.]
Brian: Did someone say my name?
Cartman: Brian Boitano!
Kyle: What incredible irony!
Cartman: Yeah, it's Brian Boitano!
Brian: What's going on, kids?
Stan: Okay, Brian? Who would you help in a fight, Jesus or Santa Claus?
Brian: shouldn't think of things like that. This is the one time of year when we all try to get along, no matter what we believe in. This is the season just to be good to each other. Bi-eee!
[Brian skates away.]
2003-02-11 02:51:09 AM  
Family Feud is still around making NEW episodes. When I saw one with that fat gay guy Louie I thought it was in it's last season. It must be only shown in the south or something.
2003-02-11 02:53:00 AM  
... on top of a Zamboni.
2003-02-11 02:56:33 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-11 02:58:07 AM  
2003-02-11 03:00:12 AM  
Lazy headline.

Revoke his account.
2003-02-11 03:08:27 AM  
Who kills kittens with his left hand?
I bet Brian Boitano can.
2003-02-11 03:11:46 AM  
Hey, I'm a lefty. So what are you saying?
2003-02-11 03:13:02 AM  
Nitpick: Figure skating judging uses a scale that only goes up to 6, not 10.

Oh well. In "Not Without My Anus" they also forgot that there's no death penalty in Canada and no fourth down in Canadian football.
2003-02-11 03:18:00 AM  
No fourth down in Canadian football? Boy those canucks really are farked up aren't they?
2003-02-11 03:20:25 AM  
Is this a Kids in the Hall reference?
Somebody help me out here.
/having a senior moment
2003-02-11 03:22:25 AM  
Um, Babaloo, you ever heard of SouthPark?
2003-02-11 03:26:55 AM  
Why Yes I have. Yes I have heard of Southpark. Damn. LOL
Thank You Monsier Dildo=)
2003-02-11 03:39:51 AM  
Gotta hand it to the AP, though, they came up with a witty headline.

Too bad the guy who posted this wasn't as witty as the AP writer... which is saying a lot.
2003-02-11 03:41:22 AM  
That guy from Home Improvement disturbs me and I don't know why!
2003-02-11 03:47:01 AM  
And the 'copy and paste' award goes to . . .

2003-02-11 04:10:57 AM  
I, for one find Brian Boitano to be a brilliant, inspiring intellectualist.
2003-02-11 06:25:47 AM  
Still, he takes pride in knowing there were two other skaters on his team that did worse, mainly because, "English isn't their first language."

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
2003-02-11 08:17:12 AM  
I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two.
2003-02-11 09:41:44 AM  
I would have given you the headline award... if it hadn't come from the lead of the story.
2003-02-11 10:07:20 AM  
Brian Boitano doesn't take shiat from anyone.
2003-02-11 10:25:43 AM  
Outstanding headline!
2003-02-11 11:24:49 AM  
Let's just face it, the farker who posted the link couldn't improve on the headline in the story. You loose.
2003-02-11 11:47:20 AM  
Thanks. I'm the guy who wrote the story for Wireless Flash News Service. The place that supplies news for NCBuy and other news sources (Jay Leno, Daily Show, David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel).
However, we consider the true honor when the Farksters do their naughty bits to our pieces.
Best regards,
David Moye
senior associate editor
Wireless Flash News
2003-02-11 11:53:10 AM  
Nitpick: Figure skating judging uses a scale that only goes up to 6, not 10.

I think they were well aware of that fact when they gave Brian Boitano those scores.

Call it a hunch.
2003-02-11 12:05:52 PM  
Mellow - so, you're the guy who gets paid to surf around, steal jokes made by Farkers, submit them to your editor as your own work, which gets sold to all the late shows? Brilliant scam. Can you hook me up with a job?
2003-02-11 12:07:44 PM  
Mellow - oh, its "Farkers" not "Farksters"; would you like to be called a "writester"? I didn't think so...
2003-02-11 01:27:13 PM  
What I get paid to do is self-generate stories that get sold to places like NCBuy or Maxim and then they get the credit.
I don't steal jokes. Strictly news that is weird.

Fark is a wonderful website as a source for links to stories made by other journalists in other sources.

2003-02-11 03:23:38 PM  
What would Brian Boitano
If was here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold
He did two Salchows and a triple Lutz while wearing a blindfold

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears
He used his magical fire breath
And saved the maidens fair

So what would Brian Boitano do
If were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

I want this V-chip out of me
It has stunted my vocabulary

And I just want my mom
to stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist too
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

What would Brian Boitano do?
He'd call all the kids in town
And tell them to unite for two
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano traveled through time
To the year 3010
He fought the evil robot king
And saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids
He beat up Kubla Kahn
Cuz Brian Boitano doesn't take shiat from anybody

So let's get all the kids together
For we have to stop our moms
And we'll save Terrance & Phillip too
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano'd do
And we'll save Terrance & Phillip too
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano'd dooooo
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
2003-02-11 07:46:15 PM  
No Family Feud host was gayer than Ray Combs. My friend Brian (not Boitano) once said that Richard Dawson loved to molest the women on the show. Sadly, Ray Combs spent just as much time sexing up the men. (shudders violently)

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