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(Some Guy)   Farker recently graduated college and moved to Denver. Needs help meet people who don't have a comb-over and still enjoy life. Link points to a happy monkey   ( divider line
    More: Advice  
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9209 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2003 at 12:02 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

248 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-02-09 08:58:34 PM  
2003-02-09 09:17:27 PM  
Denver Fark Party. Oh wait, you said no comb-overs.
2003-02-09 09:50:47 PM  
Move elsewhere.
2003-02-09 09:56:27 PM  
Reeds help meet people who don't have combover - velly good.
2003-02-09 10:24:30 PM  
Move to Los Angeles. Weather is better. Fewer comb-overs.
2003-02-09 11:58:44 PM  
Needs help meet people who...

OK so which one of you submitted this; Tonto, Tarzan or Frankenstein?

Actually, not Frankenstein...otherwise the headline would have read:
[image from too old to be available]

Holy crap do I need to get to bed.
2003-02-10 12:05:21 AM  
denver is a bad place to be right now. : (
2003-02-10 12:06:31 AM  
In the words of my brother: "You know what the best thing about graduating college is?"
"High school girls."
2003-02-10 12:06:40 AM  
hmm go to a bar and if you see beutiful people strike up conversation! it works in movies
2003-02-10 12:06:42 AM  
My advice: Get a dog.
2003-02-10 12:07:15 AM  
You live in denver.. Snowboard/ski and be merry. You can meet hella betties (not sure how to make that plural..) on the slopes..
2003-02-10 12:07:21 AM  
I can hire someone to stalk you.
2003-02-10 12:07:26 AM  
Consider moving to good old NJ!!!! Just kidding ;p
2003-02-10 12:08:34 AM  
Posting a sex would have been it wouldnt. I'm in Hawaii, and I dont care.
2003-02-10 12:09:23 AM  
Cruise the drug dealers' districts in an expensive car with all the windows down and racist music blaring. Throw cans at people indiscriminantly.
2003-02-10 12:09:25 AM  
go to an AA metting
2003-02-10 12:09:57 AM  
Play dungeons and dragons by yourself, and live in a fantasy
world where the crushing pain of everyday life can't touch you.
2003-02-10 12:10:13 AM  
check out nederland, about 20 minutes uphill from boulder. fun fun town.
2003-02-10 12:10:50 AM  
Get a cablemodem and log into IRC. People can be what ever you want them to be. And there are no comb overs on IRC. Everyone is physically fit too. Strange, but true.

Then one day, you open the door outside and see sunlight.
2003-02-10 12:11:14 AM  
I voted for the dog one.
2003-02-10 12:12:02 AM  
What's wrong with a combover on a happy monkey?
2003-02-10 12:12:26 AM  
HAHAHA, who cares about Denver.. that pic made me throw my shiat on the wall when I saw it!
2003-02-10 12:12:59 AM  

Have boat drinks.

Oh sorry, I thought this was the thread to recommend Things to Do In Denver When You're Dead.

2003-02-10 12:13:35 AM  
Go back to college and learn the england.
2003-02-10 12:15:09 AM  
Join in on flamwars in Fark about which operating system is the best.

Fart in a crowded elevator.

For no apparent reason, bring an axe to work.

Buy a snake.

Shave your pubic hair into exotic shapes and ask random people if they want to see your artistry.
2003-02-10 12:15:12 AM  
In all seriousness:

Find your neighbourhood bar. Start hanging out there, and get to know the bartenders really well. If the place is worth its salt, the bartenders hang out there after their shifts. So you can start conversations with them when they're off work, or whatever, and get to meet their friends. Most bartenders don't stay in work if they're not friendly.

Once you know the bartenders, you'll get to know the people who go in there. Those people will link you to other things going on.. and bingo, social life.

Of course, if you don't like drinking, you're farked.
2003-02-10 12:15:17 AM  
Another comb-over bigot, eh?

2003-02-10 12:15:20 AM  
2003-02-10 12:15:22 AM  
Are you suggesting it's hard to find people who don't have a comb-over that enjoy life?
2003-02-10 12:16:10 AM  
Enable voting.
2003-02-10 12:16:31 AM  
I love Flamwars!
2003-02-10 12:17:00 AM  
GIS for "denver"

[image from too old to be available]

Looks like you are out of luck bud
2003-02-10 12:17:39 AM  
Hang out outside of Planned Parenthood. That's where all the loose biatches are at.
2003-02-10 12:19:26 AM  
John Denver says: "Aw geez, man. I'm dead. Leave me alone."
2003-02-10 12:19:45 AM  
Meet up with my buddies from a local high school

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-10 12:19:48 AM  
Groom your nose hairs.
2003-02-10 12:20:42 AM  
my skills are amazing today
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-10 12:21:10 AM  
hey!!! i'm from denver!!! cool! we've made fark, and not for have insane people in the news (get used to that, by the way). Umm... cool places, no combovers... avoid "The Church" like the plague... Try "Paris on the Platte"... or anything at "The Lena Project" - film festivals, etc. Boulder is pretty sweet, and only 45 minutes away... okay... wait... i'm giving REAL advice on fark? now I need to go to bed...
2003-02-10 12:21:11 AM  
Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything

2003-02-10 12:21:42 AM  
Like teabaggin'?

You've come to the right place!!

Go to Houston for some real fun foo...
2003-02-10 12:22:34 AM  
Dallas sucks too!
2003-02-10 12:22:38 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"ohh I hope they dont reveal this as a comb-over.
2003-02-10 12:23:06 AM  
ICQ# 457981273791827399123

I'm a 16 year old female and I work for the FBI Special Internet Stalker Unit (SISU). Tee hee!! :) *hugs
2003-02-10 12:23:52 AM  
I start by skinning Torri a little, making incisions with a steak knife and ripping bits of flesh from her legs and stomach while she screams in vain, begging for mercy in a high thin voice. Finally I pour acid onto her belly and genitals, but none of this comes close to killing her, so I resort to stabbing her in the throat and eventually the blade of the knife breaks off in what's left of her neck, stuck on bone, and I stop.
2003-02-10 12:24:57 AM  

you're weird QuithEx
2003-02-10 12:25:16 AM  
Duderock: LOL, U R SEXY. WNT 2 GO N MEET UP? ;)
2003-02-10 12:26:17 AM  
I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an icepack while doing my stomach crunches; I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water-activated gel cleanser. Then a honey-almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb mint facial masque, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer. Then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing protecting lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, somekind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity-- something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can eve sense our lifestyles are probably comparable. I simply am not there.
2003-02-10 12:26:58 AM  
HEHE You make me giggle Chrisifa. A/S/L? *kissers
2003-02-10 12:27:41 AM  
Just go outside, and shout: "THANK GOD IM NOT IN DALLAS RIGHT NOW"

Seriously, this damn city is the anus of the monkey that is boredom
2003-02-10 12:27:58 AM  
Ah, good ole American Pyshco. Great book.
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