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(NYPost)   What's the first thing you think of when your fiance suddenly drops dead of a heart attack? If you answered "save the sperm," you win a free babby   ( nypost.com) divider line
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8378 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2009 at 11:07 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-04-18 08:42:01 PM  
Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.
 
2009-04-18 09:17:49 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.


Since when was the desire to be a parent about the child?
 
2009-04-18 09:32:13 PM  
The body's warm for 8 minutes, right? Then grab the Jergens and get to work.
 
2009-04-18 09:43:27 PM  

BackAssward: Tr0mBoNe: Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.

Since when was the desire to be a parent about the child?


Got me there.
 
2009-04-18 09:47:58 PM  

Mentat: The body's warm for 8 minutes, right? Then grab the Jergens and get to work.


It's what he would have wanted.
 
2009-04-18 10:05:04 PM  
Premature infarction.
Posthumous ejaculation.

What a world.
 
2009-04-18 11:09:16 PM  
He already had a kid. How many crotchfruit does a dead guy really need?
 
2009-04-18 11:10:25 PM  

Fellows: Mentat: The body's warm for 8 minutes, right? Then grab the Jergens and get to work.

It's what he would have wanted.


The final happy ending.
 
2009-04-18 11:10:43 PM  
theinsanityreport.com

Still got nothin on me, lady- unless you're gonna go for 15. In which case I gotta make another trip to the IVF clinic.
 
2009-04-18 11:12:25 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.


How is babby deformed?
 
2009-04-18 11:13:07 PM  
WTF is a BABBY?
 
2009-04-18 11:14:38 PM  

ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?


Link (new window)
 
2009-04-18 11:14:42 PM  
wow
 
2009-04-18 11:14:53 PM  
img382.imageshack.us
 
2009-04-18 11:16:10 PM  

ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?


It's what you get when girl gets pragnent.
 
2009-04-18 11:16:15 PM  
BackAssward: Tr0mBoNe: Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.

Since when was the desire to be a parent about the child?


Over in the first 2, this thread didn't stand a chance.
 
2009-04-18 11:17:28 PM  
I think this is the second time I've said this today: women are perverts.
 
2009-04-18 11:17:56 PM  

GWSuperfan: Tr0mBoNe: sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.

How is babby deformed?


oh, you get n-1 internets.
 
2009-04-18 11:18:14 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition?

Why do you hate jesus?

/sarcasm

No seriously. We're doomed as a species.
 
2009-04-18 11:18:24 PM  

ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?


Christ, welcome to the internet. Somebody give him a cat or something.
 
2009-04-18 11:19:01 PM  

Oznog: Still got nothin on me, lady- unless you're gonna go for 15. In which case I gotta make another trip to the IVF clinic.


NEVER AGAIN. Fire a cork into her vag from a cannon. Then seal it with gorilla glue.
 
2009-04-18 11:20:48 PM  

Molavian: Somebody give him a cat or something


lol
 
2009-04-18 11:20:52 PM  
www.intriguing.com

This pic is obligatory,
This skit is great,
If a Python sperm reference is wasted,
Fark gets quite irate.
 
2009-04-18 11:21:31 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Who the hell would want sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.


please tell me if you have heard this one before;

I came here to say this...
Over in one
This

All are applicable. Having said that, it really is a nice story though i agree poor judgement or lack of knowledge is defintely a factor unless the heart attack was cause by a heart assplosion from cocaine.
 
2009-04-18 11:21:33 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Oznog: Still got nothin on me, lady- unless you're gonna go for 15. In which case I gotta make another trip to the IVF clinic.

NEVER AGAIN. Fire a cork into her vag from a cannon. Then seal it with gorilla glue.


you made me "pffftlol"
 
2009-04-18 11:21:41 PM  

Pro Zack: GWSuperfan: Tr0mBoNe: sperm from someone who dropped dead from a likely genetic heart condition? Darwin weeps.

How is babby deformed?

oh, you get n-1 internets.


No he doesn't, that phrase is not new.
 
2009-04-18 11:25:34 PM  

dreadprophet: No he doesn't, that phrase is not new.


well I've never heard "how is babby deformed" But if you are right, we can keep the size of n pretty small.
 
2009-04-18 11:27:04 PM  

ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?


It's the larvae spawn of attractive and successful Caucasian-Americans.
 
2009-04-18 11:27:05 PM  

Pro Zack: dreadprophet: No he doesn't, that phrase is not new.

well I've never heard "how is babby deformed" But if you are right, we can keep the size of n pretty small.


It got used in a previous thread here. So it's not a major internet meme, but it's not new.
 
2009-04-18 11:28:30 PM  
Not that I'm against single parents, but this has to be one of the most egotistical things a person can do.

You already have a child. Your partner didn't die at the hands of another person/accidental death.
 
2009-04-18 11:28:51 PM  
I would think the eskimos have finally created a heart attack potion.
 
2009-04-18 11:29:19 PM  
For Pro Zack -

Link
 
2009-04-18 11:31:21 PM  

dreadprophet: it's not new.


Ahh... well, that is a hearse of a different color.

I suppose an n of .5 will be in order.

though I did chuckle.
 
2009-04-18 11:31:31 PM  

Pro Zack: well I've never heard "how is babby deformed" But if you are right, we can keep the size of n pretty small.


Regardless of the value of n, (n-1)/2 of my internets should go to Tr0mBoNe for leaving that ball hanging out over the plate.
 
2009-04-18 11:31:44 PM  
For your viewing pleasure, Monty Python's Every Sperm Is Sacred^ skit from The Meaning of Life.

/What a classic.
 
2009-04-18 11:33:07 PM  

British: ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?

It's the larvae spawn of attractive and successful Caucasian-Americans.


I lolededededed
 
2009-04-18 11:37:05 PM  

ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?


obligatory (shockwave pops)
 
2009-04-18 11:45:57 PM  
Maybe I'm a cold blooded bastard for not being moved by the touching human drama, but the only thing I took away from this is the fact that the guy dropped dead of a heart attack. At 31! Fark me, I need to lay off the fried seafood.
 
2009-04-18 11:46:08 PM  

AirForceVet: For your viewing pleasure, Monty Python's Every Sperm Is Sacred^ skit from The Meaning of Life.

/What a classic.


Even more appropriate for the cadaver at ~4:50 "God needs everybody's... Mine. And Mine. And Mine."
 
2009-04-18 11:46:37 PM  
Thanks farkers, I didnt know, I asked, You came.

And I didnt have to google it!
 
2009-04-18 11:48:38 PM  
"He was watching videos with his brother and he just collapsed," Marrero said.

So she couldn't just scrape up the load he left on the couch?

/sorry
//don't say you didn't think it too
 
2009-04-18 11:49:45 PM  

GWSuperfan: ianjames: WTF is a BABBY?

obligatory (shockwave pops)


I don't know how I ever missed this before. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. This is the greatest thing I have ever seen/heard on the intertubess.
 
2009-04-18 11:50:55 PM  

ianjames: ...I asked, You came.

And I didnt have to google it!


Just leave us out of any theoretical paternity suit, and we'll call it even?
 
2009-04-18 11:51:41 PM  
I'm glad they needed a court order and consent from his parents. I was going to get all biatchy about consent but that was mostly taken care of :P But yeesh, who knew you might need a will to spell out THAT sort of request?? ;)
 
2009-04-18 11:52:17 PM  
IMHO, when a man dies, his sperm should as well.

you wanna know why?

Because a guy deserves control over his junk.
 
2009-04-18 11:54:25 PM  

Epistax: I don't know how I ever missed this before. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. This is the greatest thing I have ever seen/heard on the intertubess.


evolucionfreudiana.files.wordpress.com

That's good. You have taken your first step into a larger world.
 
2009-04-18 11:54:50 PM  

rubi_con_man: IMHO, when a man dies, his sperm should as well.

you wanna know why?

Because a guy deserves control over his junk.


On the contrary, under some circumstances I quite enjoy when another takes control of my junk.
 
2009-04-18 11:56:05 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Approves.
 
2009-04-18 11:57:43 PM  
feed.examiner.com

Also worries about lost essence.
 
2009-04-18 11:57:47 PM  

GWSuperfan: ianjames: ...I asked, You came.

And I didnt have to google it!

Just leave us out of any theoretical paternity suit, and we'll call it even?


Dad?
 
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