Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Jeff73: My guess is, skip making the film entirely in favor of beating ticket buyers in the face with a can of Brawndo.

Thank you, Professor Highbrow.


Joke's on you, I'm looking forward to it.

I thought the movie looked stupid based on the trailers and had no intent on watching it.

After reading this spoiler, I am now planning on seeing it tomorrow.

This movie is beautiful in its ridiculousness. Its just so damn random and over-the-top, you can't help but get swept up in the ride.

I've seen movies try to act random and yet take themselves seriously at the same time and fail horribly, IE: All Scary, Epic, etc Movies. This one doesnt take itself seriously and it works.

It's like the writers just said "fark it, lets wing this one."

Like Quentin Tarantino on a meth binge perhaps.

Crank was so over the top and ridiculous that it was surprisingly awesome. This looks like more of the same, but even more over the top. Can't wait.

I honestly can't figure out all the love for the first Crank movie, which I thought was the biggest piece of shiat I had ever seen. I firmly believed that movie would only appeal to teenagers whose brains hadn't completely developed yet. Yet, the majority of Farkers seem to like it and I don't consider you half-brained teenagers. Clearly I am missing something but I can't figure out what.

All I can think of is the ending where he fell from thousands of feet up and he should have been the consistency of Jell-O when he hit the ground. Yet he's alive and well for Crank 2: Electric Boogaloo. And nobody seems to have a problem with that but me. I really don't get it.

dougfm: I honestly can't figure out all the love for the first Crank movie, which I thought was the biggest piece of shiat I had ever seen. I firmly believed that movie would only appeal to teenagers whose brains hadn't completely developed yet. Yet, the majority of Farkers seem to like it and I don't consider you half-brained teenagers. Clearly I am missing something but I can't figure out what.

All I can think of is the ending where he fell from thousands of feet up and he should have been the consistency of Jell-O when he hit the ground. Yet he's alive and well for Crank 2: Electric Boogaloo. And nobody seems to have a problem with that but me. I really don't get it.

Are we looking for realism in a Crank movie? I really wonder why you don't "get it".

dougfm: All I can think of is the ending where he fell from thousands of feet up and he should have been the consistency of Jell-O when he hit the ground. Yet he's alive and well for Crank 2: Electric Boogaloo. And nobody seems to have a problem with that but me. I really don't get it.

But everything up until that point was so believable, eh? If you have that problem with the movie, please don't see Crank 2. It was so ridiculously awesome that I don't want to see people say how much they hate it, because then I have to fight the urge to slap them and tell them to pull the stick out of their ass

/not saying that to you
//only if you see Crank 2 and go screaming about how much you hate it
///and only if I can't fight the urge, and only after I slap you

I saw this Friday night. Foobies galore and all around one of the most insane things i've ever seen on film. Bottom line, it's a blast. If you liked the first one.. you'll LOVE this one.

/definitely NOT for kids.
//do not even THINK about bringing kids to this

themeatcleaver: I saw this Friday night. Foobies galore and all around one of the most insane things i've ever seen on film. Bottom line, it's a blast. If you liked the first one.. you'll LOVE this one.

/definitely NOT for kids.
//do not even THINK about bringing kids to this

They have to learn about the reelreal world sometime.

Think of the movies like they are Video games.

Never saw the first one. Never even knew about it until I started seeing a few articles and reviews about the sequel. Sounds maniacally insane, probably much more so than even the immortal "Big Trouble in Little China", but probably fun to make (as was BTLC, I'd think).

I saw it...it has an enormous amount of wtf moments, but it was done so that all the wtf moments fit together with some kind of magical artistry to tell the story. As long as you don't go in with your feet planted firmly in reality, it's a good ride.

/speaking of good rides, am I the only one that noticed Jenna Haze on the hood of his police car?

//rawr

This movie was awesome on so many levels it almost defies awesomeness.

OK maybe not but it was still pretty damn cool.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:

It's the one of the most ambitiously batshiat insane films that's come down the pike in a long time.

I was disappointed by Snakes on a Plane. (I thought the film was too plausible for the title.) I finally watched Crank on DVD last week. It was almost perfect. (I could have used more of the Chinatown scene.)

The trailer makes this look like my kind of film. Perhaps I'll go after church today. Or instead of.

Crank 1 came out around the same time as Snakes on a Plane, and blew it out of the water. Completely. I saw Crank first, and Snakes was just so goddamn boring, unfunny, and . . . conventional by comparison. Crank did over the top, ridiculous, self referential so much better.

Crank 2 is more of the top, more ridiculous, more self referential, and way more insane. This is the craziest action movie I've ever seen that came out of America and had a theatrical release. It was amazing. I thought I was watching a farking Miike movie sometimes (The penance for farking up in the Mexican mafia being very, very similar to the penance Kakihara performs in Ichi the Killer), and the whole plot is so insane it seems like something that I would normally think could only come out of China or Japan.

I loved every minute of it.

This is an exploitation film. This is modern filming techniques and budget applied to a completely insane script which is utterly offensive to everyone, completely implausible and at times makes no sense at all. And it's amazing. Exploitation horror has gotten quite popular lately (all that torture porn), although they never really match up with the old classics (Last House on the Left, Cannibal Holocaust). But exploitation action? Films which seem worthy of the title "ultraviolent"? Maybe Rambo 4 and the intentionally retro Planet Terror, parts of Kill Bill, and the now quite old Natural Born Killers.

But Crank 2 outdoes them all. It's the most batshiat insane action movie I've seen since Ichi the Killer (which is more insane than Crank 2, but in different ways).

It does not apologize, it should leave no one unoffended, it plays it cheap, cheap laughs, cheap tricks, cheap entertainment, and it goes beyond being self referential to being self indulgent. It's like a big greasy slab of pizza covered with fried meat from every delicious animal you can think of, and I loved every bite.

dougfm: I honestly can't figure out all the love for the first Crank movie, which I thought was the biggest piece of shiat I had ever seen. I firmly believed that movie would only appeal to teenagers whose brains hadn't completely developed yet. Yet, the majority of Farkers seem to like it and I don't consider you half-brained teenagers.

It's called having a completely formed cinematic palette. I'm partial to all kinds of films (lowbrow and highbrow) as long as they are well made and true to their convictions. (This is not to say that I like everything of every kind; I do have something resembling a discerning nature.) Sure. the "Crank" series is high-caloric, low-nutrition cinematic junk food. But it's a text-book perfect example of the kind. And hella fun to boot. Jason Statham is turning into one of my go-to guys for highly-entertaining cinematic pleasures.

RemyDuron: This is an exploitation film. This is modern filming techniques and budget applied to a completely insane script which is utterly offensive to everyone, completely implausible and at times makes no sense at all. And it's amazing. Exploitation horror has gotten quite popular lately (all that torture porn), although they never really match up with the old classics (Last House on the Left, Cannibal Holocaust). But exploitation action? Films which seem worthy of the title "ultraviolent"? Maybe Rambo 4 and the intentionally retro Planet Terror, parts of Kill Bill, and the now quite old Natural Born Killers.

But Crank 2 outdoes them all. It's the most batshiat insane action movie I've seen since Ichi the Killer (which is more insane than Crank 2, but in different ways).

It does not apologize, it should leave no one unoffended, it plays it cheap, cheap laughs, cheap tricks, cheap entertainment, and it goes beyond being self referential to being self indulgent. It's like a big greasy slab of pizza covered with fried meat from every delicious animal you can think of, and I loved every bite.

"Art that doesn't offend at least one person is not worthy of the title."
- somebody dead and more famous than me

Japancakes: dougfm: I honestly can't figure out all the love for the first Crank movie, which I thought was the biggest piece of shiat I had ever seen. I firmly believed that movie would only appeal to teenagers whose brains hadn't completely developed yet. Yet, the majority of Farkers seem to like it and I don't consider you half-brained teenagers.

It's called having a completely formed cinematic palette. I'm partial to all kinds of films (lowbrow and highbrow) as long as they are well made and true to their convictions. (This is not to say that I like everything of every kind; I do have something resembling a discerning nature.) Sure. the "Crank" series is high-caloric, low-nutrition cinematic junk food. But it's a text-book perfect example of the kind. And hella fun to boot. Jason Statham is turning into one of my go-to guys for highly-entertaining cinematic pleasures.

Yeah, I have no problem with mindless movies. I have a problem with ignorant movies. Movies which are mindless, and know it, and in fact go about that mindlessness in surprising ways, have always entertained me. These people were not trying to make a thoughtful film. They wanted it dirty, as dirty as they could get and still have an R rating. And they did.

Of course, I'm a huge fan of exploitation films. And this was pretty much that. However, unlike a lot of exploitation films, Crank and Crank 2 leave you feeling happy. Hell, the end of Crank has a sense of blissful enlightenment (punctuated by a *splat*). Two does away with all that just to go batshiat insane, but it works, and I still had a smile plastered on my face at the end. This is different from Cannibal Holocaust or Audition or Last House on the Left, which leave you with a sense of nihilistic despair. I love those films, partially for that reason, and Crank 2 is certainly nihilistic, but it just makes it so god damn fun.

I hope they never make a GTA movie. Because Crank did it, better than they will.

Plus, the movies start strong. The start and GO! I always appreciate it when entertainment doesn't dick around. We came for action, we know what we're gonna get, just give it to us.

/BTW, did any of you catch that Chocolate was playing a modern Mortal Kombat (ultraviolent video game, probably an inspiration for certain parts of the movies) with an atari controller? That's so wrong it has to be a reference.
//Plus the power plant fight was a Godzilla vs. King Kong reference, which was pretty obvious.

RemyDuron:

Are you my doppelganger cinematically-minded?

Sometimes, fast food is all you dougfm: I honestly can't figure out all the love for the first Crank movie, which I thought was the biggest piece of shiat I had ever seen. I firmly believed that movie would only appeal to teenagers whose brains hadn't completely developed yet. Yet, the majority of Farkers seem to like it and I don't consider you half-brained teenagers. Clearly I am missing something but I can't figure out what.

Sometimes, a cinematic Wendy's triple cheeseburger is what you want. The danger comes when you decide that's all you want.

...all you EVER want.

ok, watched it last night. One of the most batshiat insane movies I've ever seen.. and it was awesome!

I've only seen the sex scene in Crank...thought that was teh awesome

/call me a perve
//it got me interested in watching the rest of the film though

Any advice on how to convince the missus to go see it with me? Otherwise, I have no problem watching this movie by myself.

Bought the first Crank on DVD without watching it first and was pleasantly surprised by it.

I gotta jump in on this - I loved the shiat out of this movie. If anyone ever asks what's wrong with me, I'll sit them down to watch this movie. Great film.

"why should we prolong this kid's suffering just because his dad can't say goodbye? Darwin is knocking on this kid's brain. It's time to let nature do its job and select.

Everything Charles "The Devil" Darwin did is sleazy! I didn't RTFA but it's clear that everyone in here is just clinging to their science books like it's THE BIBLE. Who's too religious really?!

/Crank 1 ruled
//Excited to see Crank 2 based on the thread and the trailer
///Not trolling, just havin' a laugh on a Sunday

flamingboard: Oldiron_79: The preview for Crank 2 looked so cheesy and unrealistic that I thought it was a farking joke at first.

had you ever seen a movie preview before?

Yes, I thought it was like a spoof it was so gawdawful looking

I just downloaded the bootleg, awesome cam copy! :)


/The hell with paying for movies that don't deserve my money.
//Buys movies that are worth it.

Toy_Cop: I just downloaded the bootleg, awesome cam copy! :)


/The hell with paying for movies that don't deserve my money.
//Buys movies that are worth it.

I should mention that the movie is damn retarded. Amy Smart is the only thing worthwhile in this shiat-fest.

this movie is awesome ! they keep on freaking you out . i watch for what it is ...pure shockfest/explodingtittys !!FTW !!

dalmo: Not yet. I heard a review on the radio yesterday where the reviewer got up and walked out after 27 minutes, describing it as "hating women".

But its not the same without the Good Doctor Kermode...

Toy_Cop: I just downloaded the bootleg, awesome cam copy! :)


/The hell with paying for movies that don't deserve my money.
//Buys movies that are worth it.

This is the best action movie to come out in a while. Not my top movie of the year (that's Watchmen so far), but definitely up there.

Mugato: You don't have to make action movies where the audience has to "turn off their brain". I hate that mentality.

No, but Crank 2 is a self aware exercise in excess.

Came here for the Amy Smart Pics, left dissapointed

Mugato: You don't have to make action movies where the audience has to "turn off their brain". I hate that mentality.

You don't have to, but its nice sometimes to have that option.

I can't see how anyone doesn't like this movie. I got a buddy who I thought would LOVE the movie and just thought it was too unrealistic. I simply suspend belief for ANY movie. I thoroughly enjoyed my movie experience with BOTH 1 and 2, and I thought 2 was better than one in a lot of respects, or at least on par. 3, while totally unbelievable, given you know how to suspend belief, will definitely turn up the crazy unrealistic action another notch. Awesome franchise!