FARK.com: (4331915) Man bites off end of own penis. Police found him after receiving an anonymous tip

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		Man bites off end of own penis. Police found him after receiving an anonymous tip (msnbc.msn.com)		176
		More: Sick

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25396 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2009 at 7:57 AM | Favorite | share:

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DslainteC		2009-04-16 07:48:40 AM

He was actually very cautious to only bite a tiny bit from the tip of his penis. I guess you could say he was being circum-speck.

King Something		2009-04-16 07:52:18 AM

In a press conference, the chief of police said "I never sausage a thing!"

/apologies to SOB
//Exit 1 off I-95 in NC, right on the state line

tin_man		2009-04-16 07:52:33 AM

Awesome headline

necropoultryac		2009-04-16 07:57:11 AM

Is today damaged penis day?

Kyosuke		2009-04-16 07:58:49 AM

dburr13		2009-04-16 07:59:46 AM

Just pruning off some of the excess.

IKillBugs		2009-04-16 08:01:13 AM

You have to REALLY want it, I suppose.

SouthpawSlicer		2009-04-16 08:02:22 AM

It was just for a second, just to see how it feels.

videodetective.com

thisispete		2009-04-16 08:02:27 AM

At least he didn't break his own neck like my cousin Walter.

metallicaboy2005		2009-04-16 08:03:15 AM

WOW! incredible headline.

Morrigan		2009-04-16 08:03:36 AM

King Something: In a press conference, the chief of police said "I never sausage a thing!"

/apologies to SOB
//Exit 1 off I-95 in NC, right on the state line

Stupid south of the border crap.
/NC Resident
//Hates that tacky place

my_biddness		2009-04-16 08:03:37 AM

LMAO subby, +3 for t3h lulz this morning. It is good to laugh when your boss makes you come into work from home on some damned redundant effort training.

Help-Im-Sober		2009-04-16 08:05:03 AM

I hate to be the one to ask this, but how are they sure it was he who bit his own penis? Considering that he raped a 13 year old in the past, he might have tried it on someone else and failed.

fenrael23		2009-04-16 08:05:32 AM

So he actually made it?

i30.photobucket.com

MyNameIsMofuga		2009-04-16 08:05:51 AM

So the guy became a born again jew?

reillan		2009-04-16 08:07:38 AM

fenrael23: So he actually made it?

And this reference is what I stopped by the thread for...

Bob Down		2009-04-16 08:08:42 AM

Good on him for keeping a stiff upper lip

flippermack		2009-04-16 08:11:03 AM

/no lolcat

Thakh		2009-04-16 08:12:13 AM

~~Penis~~

Shakespeare's Monkey		2009-04-16 08:12:17 AM

FTFA: Here's a Tip: Don't Bite Your Own Junk

Stay classy, MSNBC!

Oldiron_79		2009-04-16 08:12:32 AM

Maybe now he will get put in a Sanitarium.

kungfu jesus with a side of lime		2009-04-16 08:12:49 AM

so much win in the thread and the headline. Thank you all, thank you fark, thank you internets

blubberknife		2009-04-16 08:13:54 AM

+1 subby!

Great headline!

oryx		2009-04-16 08:16:58 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket ...

DjangoStonereaver		2009-04-16 08:17:30 AM

"Rookie mistake."

dcigary		2009-04-16 08:20:13 AM

doglover		2009-04-16 08:26:03 AM

DjangoStonereaver: "Rookie mistake."

Mad Lulz to you sir.

flippermack		2009-04-16 08:26:13 AM

fenrael23: So he actually made it?

I suppose he did, but his mom burst into his room...

Max Danger Power		2009-04-16 08:27:13 AM

Help-Im-Sober: I hate to be the one to ask this, but how are they sure it was he who bit his own penis? Considering that he raped a 13 year old in the past, he might have tried it on someone else and failed.

Was thinking the same thing.

"So, registered sex offender, how'd you lose part of your penis?"
"Oh I uh... shiat... uh... bit it off myself?"
"Woah dude, thats farking sick. You cant give yourself a blowjob? Nice!"
(13 year old girl) "Um help me please, I don't know what diseases this sick fark has"

Well done officer.

soapydog		2009-04-16 08:33:11 AM

/approves

Oldiron_79		2009-04-16 08:34:13 AM

Reminds me of a joke.....

Q) What did the leper say to the prostitute?

A) Keep the tip.

bamf75		2009-04-16 08:35:58 AM

I'm biting my own penis right now, so...

nitro316		2009-04-16 08:38:02 AM

Don't act like you never tried!

Elminst		2009-04-16 08:38:09 AM

bamf75: ~~I'm biting my own penis right now, so...~~

amph fifin mah owm phenif mow, tho... OWWW!!

FTFY

Archie Goodwin		2009-04-16 08:38:50 AM

PENI.

RoyalSouvenir		2009-04-16 08:39:12 AM

So if he did make it and it wasn't someone else's...Wouldn't "Hero" tag be more appropriate.

/Just sayin'

PsyLord		2009-04-16 08:39:15 AM

Re: dcigary [TotalFark]

I came for the Wil Ferrel SNL yoga skit reference.

ghubert50		2009-04-16 08:39:59 AM

I used to know a Mohel who was a very generous guy. He never charged the families; he just worked for tips.

gambitsgirl		2009-04-16 08:40:06 AM

metallicaboy2005: WOW! incredible headline.

not the headline making me go Wow! That's impressive... well a little less impressive now but it WAS impressive

RoyalSouvenir		2009-04-16 08:41:24 AM

PsyLord: I came for the Wil Ferrel SNL yoga skit reference

perp in the story came for the taste? Or mmm. mm. mmm. Just for the smell of it?

psanf420		2009-04-16 08:43:00 AM

fenrael23: So he actually made it?

found his balls resting on his chin

The Martintuckian		2009-04-16 08:43:14 AM

If I could do that I'd never leave the house.

slayer199		2009-04-16 08:43:15 AM

fenrael23: So he actually made it?

Came in for the Clerks reference...did not leave disappointed.

Epossumondas		2009-04-16 08:46:32 AM

PsyLord: Re: dcigary [TotalFark]

I came for the Wil Ferrel SNL yoga skit reference.

It's a shame that picture didn't accompany the article.

schadenfreudian		2009-04-16 08:48:16 AM

To autofellate is impressive. Not sure, however, if I'm to be impressed by his length or flexibility.

deevo		2009-04-16 08:50:30 AM

is there video?

IS THERE VIDEO?

gotstoknow		2009-04-16 08:52:48 AM

One word OUCH

Oldiron_79		2009-04-16 08:52:52 AM

schadenfreudian: To autofellate is impressive. Not sure, however, if I'm to be impressed by his length or flexibility.

THIS.

As unflexible as I am, I'd have to have about 24 inches to self fellatio .

McManus_brothers		2009-04-16 08:56:43 AM

Morrigan: King Something: In a press conference, the chief of police said "I never sausage a thing!"

/apologies to SOB
//Exit 1 off I-95 in NC, right on the state line

Stupid south of the border crap.
/NC Resident
//Hates that tacky place

Are you kidding? That place is awesome! The tackiness is the best part!