Nutdip: I am confused and troubled by your instruction to fill one's cats' bowels with food and water.

Traditionally, I have been taught to feed animals with food and water placed in bowls. Forcing the same into their bowels does not seem very sanitary, and I fear it would make them less than happy.

Has this worked well for you in the past?

I've already planned for such a scenario. My cat would, even at gargantuan size, still leave me be due to proper training.

She has been conditioned through the use of scheduled beatings, humiliation, deprivation, torture, appeasement, and not being allowed on the counter. She's developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome, despite my continued attempts to break her will. And, she poops in the plants.

Wow, these people have way too much time on their hands to contemplate this kinda stuff. :)

7forty7, that pic is awesome.

First thing that came to mind is that I'd like to have a big *ussy, but then I thought better of it.

Strathcona: Beautiful story; however, small dog, big owner. The dog's problem is that the owner simply would not fit in his mouth. Change the scale, and the terrier has lunch and a nice blue blanket to lay on.

GojiraXP: I suspect that Nutdip does not like cats as much as he says he does.

My mum eats cat food. Thats all I will let her have. She even licks her bum for me.

Homeless_need_help
Dog-loving Farkers: Your dog would certainly eat you. Not intentionally, of course; it's just that dogs eat everything.

My 145 pound black lab/german shepard says:

"I WOULD KEEP HIM AND PET HIM AND PLAY WITH HIM AND LICK HIM AND PLAY WITH HIM AND CHEW ON HIM AND LICK HIM OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!"

My dog licks frogs and gets rabid dog mouth when they pee in his mouth. It's awesome.

Kill em all before the become the most dominent speicie on the planet, for that, I need the cooperation of you all!! 5 times a day...... should be over quick even if we don'T give it oure best.

2000 farker * 5 * 1 week = 70 000 kittens wiped out.

We will get those suckas!

Both of my cats are right at 20 pounds each, big! They do kinda give me the evil eye......

Lets all begin to masturbate to kill the menace

GOOD JOB SOLDIER HELLSHAD

boxers kick ass...

CovetousJOO
Holy shiat..... loks like the limb of some guy.....

While I would love to answer you Ouroborus, I would be talking out of my ass. I only repeated something I heard on The Screensavers one day while channel surfing. They were interviewing Mitchio Kaku and asking him about the big animal movies (I think what caused him to use the spider example was the movie "8 legged freaks"), to which he replied what I wrote above.
If I wasn't such a lazy farker, I could probably track down a transcript of that episode. But like I said, I'm laaaaaazy.

My dad had this terrier when I was a child. If you tried to pet it, it would bite you. It smelled bad. It ate its own poop. No, I am not a dog person.

Duh- Yes Stupid!

02-07-03 09:50:53 PM Dazoli
The bigger the cat, the more boobies ya gotta look at.

Well said.
So true

has anyone asked Rick Moranis what his opinion is?

or gulliver?

Theurge14- yeah, that sounds about like every dog I've ever had, only mine were smaller. 145 lbs. is getting into small bear territory.

I've watched dogs chew on plates, tires, a goose, rocks, trees, pants, matresses, shelving, car parts, snakes (two of my boys were playing tug-o-war one day), and lots and lots of rabbits.

I watched my ex-wife's Sh!tzu (filter) walk up to my German Shepherd and voluntarily put her head in its mouth once. I got it out in time. Took a while to get the drool off her, though. Even the cat wasn't that dumb.

7forty7
I posted that for a photoshop earlier today.

That'd depend if I was in a giant can which was opened.

I'm sorry, who cares?

I have owned both cats and a dog, so far only the dog has seemed to take a liking to my oh so tender flesh. Nothing worse that having an Ozzie attempt to ‘heard’ you by having it clamp on to your ankle and forcing you to drag it behind you.

That article lowered my IQ.

Can't believe no one has posted this yet...

DOCTOR LIVINGSTONE:
Uhh,... I think I'd better come clean with you about this. It's, um,-- it's not a virus, I'm afraid. You see, a virus is what we doctors call very, very small. So small, it could not possibly have made off with a whole leg. What we're looking for here is, I think,-- And this is no more than an educated guess. I'd like to make that clear. ...Is some multi-cellular life form with stripes, huge razor-sharp teeth, about eleven foot long, and of the genus Felis Horribilis: what we doctors, in fact, call a 'tiger'.
PERKINS, PAKENHAM-WALSH, and AINSWORTH:
A tiger?!

EVERYONE:
A tiger?!
[mayhem]

PAKENHAM-WALSH:
A tiger... in Africa?
AINSWORTH:
Hm?
PAKENHAM-WALSH:
A tiger in Africa?!
AINSWORTH:
W-- Ah, well, it, uh,-- it has probably escaped from a zoo. Mhm.

Because they can.

I am certain that my cats would eat my girlfriend who, to their great displeasure, continuously holds them like babies.

the book 'the life of pi' (by yann martel) is very interesting, as far as animal/human statuses go... although it promises to make you believe in god, i'm still a stubborn atheist. read read read. it has a tiger in it. that should be enough to motivate you.

Sinatra-- they are not dead are they????

WharGoul: Heck no. They've just been neutered. Some vet thought it would be funny to pose them like this for a pic.

I see pussy as my food of choice.

I'm the proud father of:

Bookitty

(he's a trained attack cat, please
keep hands and arms inside the ride
at all times)

Whar:
"Sinatra-- they are not dead are they????"

Worse. Neutered!

OMG.

Plain sick.

Jabba.The.Hutt.

Anyone here join Nation states when it was linked on fark. If so, go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/farktopia/ and read message #205. About to get interesting.

That girl has one BIG pussy. That's what happens when you over feed them for years.

On a sadder note, my elder cat, always assumed to be partially feral (he's adopted, was hard to tame), went apeshiat today after coexisting with another adoptee (a female kitten about 9 months max) for a week and a half. He tried to kill her, and when I backed him off he attacked me twice, drawing blood with his fangs through denim jeans. He's usually fiercly loyal to me, but won't let anything (or anyone sometimes) near me, so sadly, poor Alex will be going to a home for incorrigible cats. There is a protection society nearby that I know won't put him to sleep, which helps some...

The kitten, Stormy, is a sweet little thing, better litterbox trained than he ever was, and apparently abandoned when someone's lease ran out. She's more than a little skittish, and after seeing Alex's display tonight, I'm afraid she might have been attacked at least once (although he's the only one who looks like he's been in a scrap). He's declawed, she's not. It doesn't appear I'll need to declaw her. She doesnt claw anything at all other than scratching posts. I'm in Florida, and you don't let cats you love run outside here... Aligators love them. besides my municipality and apartment complex both fine owners who let any pet, cat or dog outside without a leash.

Anyhow, I'm going to have a really bad Saturday tomorrow.

GojiraXP:

From my experience with cats, declawed cats tend to be a bit more aggressive as they have lost their "weapons". I hope you don't declaw Stormy.


I'm sorry to hear about Alex :(

BotoxBarbie:

Alex has been aggressive all his life. He was only declawed a year ago after attacking a friends daughter. He had destroyed carpets, speaker cabinets and all manner of things but he was also capable of inflicting wounds that would require stitches.
The friend was hired to clean my apartment, and honestly, her daughter wasn't really supposed to be there at the time (I wasn't home) but the thought that he had attacked a child led me to go along with her suggestion that I declaw him.
His aggressiveness is something I have "dealt" with since adopting him. Even in affection he would bite.

I see absolutely no reason why I would ever have to declaw Stormy. She has no aggression in her at all. She not fond of being held at the moment, and will growl and hiss when she wants to be put down, but she doesn't claw or struggle even then. I have only one small wound from her from when I was trying to acclimate them and she took a swipe at me. I'm assuming her not wanting to be held is due to discomfort from a fight with Alex.

I'm hoping I can find a companion for Stormy while she's still young. All my life we owned "only" cats, and they have always been a bit "off". My parents just adopted two "raggamuffins" after their last cat died from diabetes complication (due to the pet food company changing the formula for a food intended for sensitive cats without informing anyone). After seeing how those two interact, I'd like to provide the same thing for this one, since she seems of similar temperment.

Thank you for the condolances regarding Alex. It's a really difficult thing to do, but it's really necessary as well.

woops...forgot to close that m'fing bold tag. Sorry all, the Stoli 100 proof has taken over.

Cats rule and dogs drool. Most dogs suck ass. Most cats kick ass. There are exceptions to every rule. However, I have had more positive experiences with cats than I EVER have had with ANY dog so far in life. I'm 26. :P

OMG! I was going to say some stupid *pussy joke, but I saw that huge, huge huge cat pic above. Damn...
France Surenders.