how disappointing. -1

Mrs. Howell was HAWT.

This shouldn't be this hard.

Dear Somali Pirates:

If you hurt the hostage, you're dead.
If you don't release the hostage, you're dead.

The only thing that can save your lives at this point is releasing the hostage. If you release the hostage, you will live.

We'll wait on your decision as long as you want. Gotta be getting mighty hungry in there.

Oh, just for the sake of completeness: If you eat the hostage, you're dead.

Did the Germans carry Lugers?

Hell, I bet a US prison beats the shiat out of living "free" in Somalia.

When I first read about the other pirates rushing to join the lifeboat pirates, I didn't credit it. What pirate is going to put himself in the line of fire for some idiots who botched their job?
I'm completely unsurprised the other pirates 'can't find' that lifeboat.

But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

/shoot the hostage
//all of them, if necessary

Magorn,

You are nicer than me, my message would be:

If you hurt the hostage, you and your entire family will die slowly and painfully.

If you don't release the hostage, you and your entire family die slowly and painfully.

If you release the hostage, you be given a quick painless death and perhaps we will spare your family.

TheOther: When I first read about the other pirates rushing to join the lifeboat pirates, I didn't credit it. What pirate is going to put himself in the line of fire for some idiots who botched their job?
I'm completely unsurprised the other pirates 'can't find' that lifeboat.

But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

/shoot the hostage
//all of them, if necessary

Except that he's not the only hostage - there are 200 more being held on land.

So they need to rescue the hostage and capture the pirates, if possible. The one thing they should definitely STOP doing is paying ransoms.

I say we give them the 2 million dollars in a briefcase lined with C4, and blow it up when we get the hostage back. It does not count as spending 2 mil if it is all destroyed and never spent, we could use bills that were going to be shredded anyways.

TheOther: When I first read about the other pirates rushing to join the lifeboat pirates, I didn't credit it. What pirate is going to put himself in the line of fire for some idiots who botched their job?

It was a smart move if they were all in on it. If they are a "company" that does this, it would be brilliant. Send in 40 human shields, pick up the hostage, and take off to Somalia. The US wouldn't touch them, the ransom would be paid and it would be HUGE, and it would be divied up nicely.

But I think they pussied out. Plain and simple, pussied out

lawboy87: Magorn,

You are nicer than me, my message would be:

If you hurt the hostage, you and your entire family will die slowly and painfully.

If you don't release the hostage, you and your entire family die slowly and painfully.

If you release the hostage, you be given a quick painless death and perhaps we will spare your family.



/Approves

dstanley: flannelled fool: who is hotter

+1 for Mary Ann.

Obviously. Ginger tried too hard.

BTW, beoswulf, that picture is HILARIOUS. Terrorists can be so retarded sometimes.

So I suppose navy seals sabotaging and sinking the boat and then just coming by and picking the pirates out of the water and rescuing the captain is out of the question? I'd imagine it'd be kind of hard to kill your hostage when you're trying to keep your head above water.

But then again, I could be wrong....

remus: TheOther: But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

I hope I wasn't the only one thinking, fine, bring them all together so the SEALs can have a little party. Like 5 boarding parties simultaneously?

They won't do this. If there was one hostage - maybe it would be possible, but with 40 on board?

It would be too easy to just kill one and say "stop attacking or we kill another." and we'd have to stop.

They don't even know where they are on the ship.

Since we have bunch of ships in the area and an amphibious carrier, lets go to the port cities free what hostages and ships we can, blow up their docks and equipment. Some will scream that America has not changed but in the end the waters will be safer and I doubt Obama's popularity will take a big hit. Of course we could tell our allies about this plan ask them if they want to coordinate with us. If America hit the beaches wioth seals, spetsnaz and chinese naval infantry not only would a clear message be sent but we couldn't be accused of policing the world. By the way I'm not some gun loving freeper who wants the U.S. to always resort to violence I just think this pirate crap has gone on long enough, and yeah I'm looking at you south east asia as well.

jenniferwillow: So I suppose navy seals sabotaging and sinking the boat and then just coming by and picking the pirates out of the water and rescuing the captain is out of the question? I'd imagine it'd be kind of hard to kill your hostage when you're trying to keep your head above water.


Problem is what if the captain is tied up and "doesn't get out in time" *wink wink*? That means the somalis go to federal prison for a long time, but the captains still dead at the bottom of the ocean.

Whereas if we just wait until the Somalis see it as hopeless and give up, we can probably get them to prison and the captain alive.


My idea was to throw them some drugged-up water. They have to be getting thirsty in there. Humans can go a long time without food, not long at all without water.

TheOther: But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

Can't blame this on Obama. Piracy occurred under Bush and Clinton, it was rampant Jefferson and Washington.

Islamic tradition dictates that infidels are obligated to pay tribute to Muslims in one form or another as a sign of Islamic supremacy.

For Islamists this is a key component in returning Islam to it's golden age, it's purest form; the old days when the infidels were in awe of the Caliphate's might and not the average Muslim's backwardness.

1000 of those mogs aren't worth a single hair on the asscrack of one of our seals. strafe the coast line continuous until they cease. You honestly think these cretins are going to stop against anything less?

DreamWeaver: jenniferwillow: So I suppose navy seals sabotaging and sinking the boat and then just coming by and picking the pirates out of the water and rescuing the captain is out of the question? I'd imagine it'd be kind of hard to kill your hostage when you're trying to keep your head above water.


Problem is what if the captain is tied up and "doesn't get out in time" *wink wink*? That means the somalis go to federal prison for a long time, but the captains still dead at the bottom of the ocean.

Whereas if we just wait until the Somalis see it as hopeless and give up, we can probably get them to prison and the captain alive.


My idea was to throw them some drugged-up water. They have to be getting thirsty in there. Humans can go a long time without food, not long at all without water.

Not a bad idea either. But who's to say they won't use the captain as a guinea pig to see if the water and food is laced? I'd be rather suspicious if my enemy was giving me a present that I needed. You know, like blankets and stuff?

Softens_hands_while_you_do_the_dishes: You honestly think these cretins are going to stop against anything less?

Well after this, I highly doubt it happens again. Every ship in the area will either simply stop going in the area, or will carry heavily armed security forces.

The insurance companies have paid millions already this year (I believe its 50+ million). They can hire a farkton of security people for 50 million a year.

jenniferwillow: DreamWeaver: jenniferwillow: So I suppose navy seals sabotaging and sinking the boat and then just coming by and picking the pirates out of the water and rescuing the captain is out of the question? I'd imagine it'd be kind of hard to kill your hostage when you're trying to keep your head above water.


Problem is what if the captain is tied up and "doesn't get out in time" *wink wink*? That means the somalis go to federal prison for a long time, but the captains still dead at the bottom of the ocean.

Whereas if we just wait until the Somalis see it as hopeless and give up, we can probably get them to prison and the captain alive.


My idea was to throw them some drugged-up water. They have to be getting thirsty in there. Humans can go a long time without food, not long at all without water.

Not a bad idea either. But who's to say they won't use the captain as a guinea pig to see if the water and food is laced? I'd be rather suspicious if my enemy was giving me a present that I needed. You know, like blankets and stuff?

We've already given them food and water previously, but you're probably right.

We're just going to end up waiting it out. They'll give up eventually.

This second hijacked ship was really bad for us, it's great they pussied out because it was a good strategy.

LineNoise: Are we really talking a suitcase full of money here, or is it "wire 2 million dollars to this account?"

if its the wire 2 million dollars part, lets go blow up the bank over there that is dealing with pirates.

Just because they're Somali doesn't make them idiots - we learned that lesson once.

This is serious business to them, and they have multitudes of bank accounts in multitudes of names and in multiple countries. As soon as the money hits whatever bank account they ask it to be deposited into, it's gone into another one.

They should've brought along Jack Sparrow's magic compass.

lawboy87: Magorn,

You are nicer than me, my message would be:

If you hurt the hostage, you and your entire family will die slowly and painfully.

If you don't release the hostage, you and your entire family die slowly and painfully.

If you release the hostage, you be given a quick painless death and perhaps we will spare your family.

Agreed +1

Link (new window)

Oh fark they got another American boat.

LineNoise: How exactly do the pirates "get paid"?

Are we really talking a suitcase full of money here, or is it "wire 2 million dollars to this account?"

if its the wire 2 million dollars part, lets go blow up the bank over there that is dealing with pirates.

Better yet, lets just blow up bank of america, as they strike me as someone who would deal with pirates.

That major tanker that was in the news had its random delivered by a small plane dropping the cash by parachute near the ship held hostage.

It'd be as easy as targeting any new mansions or sports cars back on land.

If there were only a country that would say, "Millions for defense, not one red cent for tribute."

DreamWeaver: We've already given them food and water previously, but you're probably right.

We're just going to end up waiting it out. They'll give up eventually.

This second hijacked ship was really bad for us, it's great they pussied out because it was a good strategy.

It doesn't have to be a dramatic sinking or anything. Just have a couple of Seals swim under the boat, drill a few small holes, swim away, have the destroyer and other ships radio to the life boat.

"Hey, we noticed you seem to be sinking kind of slowly and stuff. You wouldn't want us to pick you up out of the water or anything would you? I mean, unless you've got a lifeboat on that lifeboat? No extra lifeboats? Ok well, let us know when you want to be rescued from drowning and stuff, cause we are here you know..."

Sorry for Capt Phillips but, just paint "Greenpeace Rainbow Warrior" on the side of the lifeboat and then get the French.

As long as one of them caught a bullet in Der Bübelgüß

/rimshot

Shame they couldn't have intercepted the other ship as well.
It would be a messy and dangerous hostage situation, but would sure drive home the point of who owns the sea.

We need to stop paying them and just kill them. Any time they take a hostage we should just ... kill. If the hostage dies in the crossfire , too bad - so sad.

If we catch the pirates alive , they should be tortured for all information they have. They should also be tortured for information on their families. Their family should then be killed.

Each and every time the pirates strike , this should be the response. After a year or so there would be little to no piracy in the area.

The same should hold true for terrorist attacks. Kill their families. No exceptions.

beoswulf: TheOther: But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

Can't blame this on Obama. Piracy occurred under Bush and Clinton, it was rampant Jefferson and Washington.

Islamic tradition dictates that infidels are obligated to pay tribute to Muslims in one form or another as a sign of Islamic supremacy.

For Islamists this is a key component in returning Islam to it's golden age, it's purest form; the old days when the infidels were in awe of the Caliphate's might and not the average Muslim's backwardness.

No, but just as Washington to Bush II had to deal with it, this is Obama's decision to make. This is one of those early tests that Joe Biden was talking about. Da' Pimp Hand now might be a good move for all those future confrontaions that inevitably are coming his way.

If the other hostages national governments don't agree with the 'board the ships like the Russians stormed that theatre', the best option might be to sink the lifeboat before any other pirates can get there(..again...if they really are trying to get there.) Keep it a US-only thing.

Yesterday I read an article where a so-called "Somali expert" recommended giving in to all of their demands as a solution. Because in that case there would be no bloodshed.

As long as people like that can offer such ridiculous opinions and, moreover, still be called "experts," I don't see any end to this any time soon.

Besides, everyone knows that the solution to pirates is to drop a flare into the oil reserves. That always leads to a highly plausible ending.

Here's my idea. Send a few transport ships over as decoys. Make sure they are heavily armed. Wait on a pirate to get within range. Blow their ass up. Rinse. Repeat. Once the word gets around, they will get back to stealing UN food rations again.

/am I the only one to think of this?

Ryan2065: TheOther: the best option might be to sink the lifeboat before any other pirates can get there

Or wait for the other pirates to get to take out as many pirates as possible with this episode.

Again, it should depend on the attitude of the governments of the other hostages' countries. I'd rather settle for 4 pirates killed for one American than have Germany and the Phillipines and whoever else pissing and moaning about 'US cowboy diplomacy'.

Someone call Hollywood! They'll know what to do!

TheOther: When I first read about the other pirates rushing to join the lifeboat pirates, I didn't credit it. What pirate is going to put himself in the line of fire for some idiots who botched their job?
I'm completely unsurprised the other pirates 'can't find' that lifeboat.

But getting a lot of pirates into a tidy, compact killzone would be fine if Obama just has the stones to pull the trigger.

/shoot the hostage
//all of them, if necessary

When Putin gassed that Opera House, killing hundreds of Russians to kill a dozen Terrorists, he ended Terrorism in Russia for the duration of his reign.

consciousNOT: Here's my idea. Send a few transport ships over as decoys. Make sure they are heavily armed. Wait on a pirate to get within range. Blow their ass up. Rinse. Repeat. Once the word gets around, they will get back to stealing UN food rations again.

/am I the only one to think of this?

You really have to wonder how many boats head out and are spotted and nothing is ever heard from them again. Subs wouldn't even have to fire a weapon; just tip them over like a Japanese fishing boat.