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(Yahoo)   Teen has 3,500 bags of Cheetos in locker   ( divider line 144
    More: Hero  
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24375 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2003 at 10:24 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

144 Comments   (+0 »)

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2003-02-07 10:48:23 AM  
Exactly Galt If they were bags OF cheetos, that he was hoarding, to stop them from being consumed or something, then it would be worth the hero tag, but instead he's just a lard-ass who's going to get his own chester cheeto costume or something, make that xxxl please.
2003-02-07 10:48:28 AM  
This guy is kind of like the hippie dude Jason Lee plays in that movie Big Trouble. That was some funny shiat.
2003-02-07 10:49:00 AM  
"He suffers from a rare skin disease known as "Fromage Digititis""
2003-02-07 10:49:31 AM  
That someone turned out to be Chester Cheeto, a costumed cartoon figure and the point character in Cheetos marketing and advertising.

Bzzzt! That's Chester Cheetah. Now where's my poking stick?
2003-02-07 10:50:18 AM  
I think Frito-Lay has found their Jarrod.
2003-02-07 10:50:26 AM  
10 to 1 he's got one of these at home.....

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:50:57 AM  
Maybe he was perfecting his "Cheeto Bag" technique. It's like the tea-bagging, but you dust the balls with a fine layer of orange cheese like substance for maximum effect
2003-02-07 10:51:13 AM  
I also calculate that out at 18 bags a day. He is like a cheeto munching machine. Or he followed people around that were eating cheetos, and begged for the left over bag.
No wonder he's creepy.
2003-02-07 10:51:43 AM  

Maybe he was perfecting his "Cheeto Bag" technique. It's like the tea-bagging, but you dust the balls with a fine layer of orange cheese like substance for maximum effect

Worst. Mental. Image. Ever.
2003-02-07 10:53:02 AM  
Maybe he can get himself some snazzy Eploids shoe reflectors.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:53:49 AM  
Start by forwarding this e-mail to 10 of your friends. Alex Johnson is a high school Jr. in Munising, MI. He has a rare form of cancer and is not expected to live more than six months. His dying wish is to get in the Guinness Book of Records by collecting the most empty Cheeto bags. So far he has over 30,000, but he will need at least ten times that if he is to catch the record held Anna Nichole Smith of Santa Monica, CA. Although Mr. Johnson has not eaten all the Cheeto's himself, like Ms. Smith he is still eligible to beat the record.

So please help a dying boy with his wish Send your Cheeto's to:

Alex Johnson
123 Lardass Circle
Munsing, MI 00976
2003-02-07 10:55:06 AM  
The friend that ate them...
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:55:10 AM  
Think o fthe starving kids in Africa.
2003-02-07 10:56:47 AM  
Kids in Africa can't eat Cheetos as they have been genetically engineered.
2003-02-07 10:57:51 AM  
Chester appeared at a pep rally for the basketball team, and presented Johnson with a scrolled declaration proclaiming him an "honorary deputy of cheese."

Skip forward three days, to an important phone conversation:
[image from too old to be available]
"Big Mac? Mayor McCheese here. Listen. It's not working out with you heading the police department in McDonaldland, what with the Hamburglar still at large. I've hired someone new, who shows lots of promise, and unfortunately, that means we'll have to let you go."
2003-02-07 10:58:01 AM  
Hero tag? you got to be kidding me...That is what's wrong with this country...
2003-02-07 10:58:04 AM  
Nobody at this forum can farking further comment (even this comment) is useless........
2003-02-07 11:00:11 AM  
And how does Mayor McCheese get re-elected with the Hamburglar stealing and eating all his constituents?
2003-02-07 11:00:28 AM  
This sounds more like a "Saved by the Bell" plot to collect Cheetos Bags to buy Mr. Belding a new car after Zack steals it and crashes it while trying to drive Slater to the hospital after Kelly runs over his leg with a golf cart while she was trying to save Screech who got his tongue stuck to a light pole while trying to give Lisa a kiss.
2003-02-07 11:01:02 AM  
Each bag is worth ONE cheeto point.
This guy is digging around in the cafeteria trash cans, collecting cheeto points to redeem them for "whatever is biggest."

Stupid kid.

Someone call ZigZag. I have a roach collection I want examined...and I didn't go begging for other people's roaches, either. They're ALL mine.
A box of skins and a plane ticket to Amsterdam would be a nice way for them to thank me.
2003-02-07 11:02:29 AM  
GIS for Alex Johnson

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 11:03:46 AM  
He's gotta be the one in the middle.
2003-02-07 11:06:54 AM  
I've always wanted 116 yellow soccer balls and a frisbee!!
2003-02-07 11:08:48 AM  
Oops...then 11 soccer balls and a frisbee! w00t!
2003-02-07 11:15:58 AM  
Yeah, it's kind of gay that the "biggest thing" he can get is a soccer ball. A butt-ugly soccer ball at that. Do you think there's a hidden catalog page with hookers, weed and firearms?
2003-02-07 11:21:25 AM  
So you smoke the weed and then eat the Cheetos....turn in the Ploids to get more make you want to eat more Cheetos.... THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER!!!!!
2003-02-07 11:21:42 AM  
Would Chester Cheetah be like a lieutenant-mayor to Mayor McCheese or just part of his administration?
2003-02-07 11:22:45 AM  
This kid should be checked for signs of the SCURVY. Someone give him a damn lime!
2003-02-07 11:23:50 AM  
Wow, that's sad. Very sad indeed. I didn't think you could honestly consume the amount of weed necessary, over any amount of time, to eat/collect that many bags of Cheetos without dying first. I am truly amazed.
2003-02-07 11:24:54 AM  
Seeing how the Mayor is basically a large cheesebuger with a body and Chester is cheese-fixated obsessive/compulsive, I think this would be a more predatorial relationship
2003-02-07 11:32:13 AM  
Actualy, he can bid on e-polid auctions as well.

Ooh. Time Cube.
2003-02-07 11:32:40 AM  
Mmmm... cheetos...
2003-02-07 11:33:01 AM  
I live 60 miles from Munising.

Trust me, the kid had nothing better to do.
2003-02-07 11:33:16 AM  
If he keeps saving to 4800 points he gets one of these:
[image from too old to be available]

Send in those points kids! You could be the only one on your block!

(pun intended)
2003-02-07 11:33:49 AM  
No...Wait...Come back JoeyJoeJoe!
/we love Moe!
2003-02-07 11:38:11 AM  
Frito-Laid. The autobiography of Alex Johnson. A tale of sex, life and cheese flavored snacks in small town America.
2003-02-07 11:41:57 AM  
HA! Try that in Pyongyang!
2003-02-07 11:45:02 AM  
"Chester appeared at a pep rally for the basketball team, and presented Johnson with a scrolled declaration proclaiming him an "honorary deputy of cheese."

I think that bears worth repeating:

honorary deputy of cheese

But do I have to salute the fat bastard?
2003-02-07 11:45:14 AM  
Brings a new meaning to Roy D. Mercer's saying:
"I'm gonna come down on you like a rat on a Cheeto"

Ok, maybe not. But its still one of my favorite sayings :)
2003-02-07 11:46:22 AM  
GIS = Google Image Search?
2003-02-07 11:46:37 AM  
honorary deputy of cheese...and actual deputy of constipation.
2003-02-07 11:48:32 AM  
Howcome nobodys said "It ain't easy bein' cheesey" yet?
2003-02-07 11:49:52 AM  
My sister used to work at Frito Lay when she was home during the summer and she would always talk about how great Cheetos were when they came hot right out of the machine. Never tried one so I am assuming they taste like shiat, so I do not give her the satisfaction.
2003-02-07 11:52:33 AM  
you forgot the tag.

At least... I hope you were being sarcastic.
2003-02-07 11:53:12 AM  
oops... there was actually a "sarcastic" tag in there :)
2003-02-07 11:55:34 AM  
3500? He's a piker. Check out the Air-O-Commander Remote Control Airplane.
2003-02-07 11:56:56 AM  
Ok, I don't think this is actually as gross as so many people seem to think. He's eating snack size bags, not the full size bags and his friends are donating their empty bags too.

Being a Cheetos fan myself, I think this is actually kind of cool. Of course, I'm also a dork.
2003-02-07 12:00:43 PM  
Your fingers turn yellowie-orange , looks like you smoke 4 packs a day
2003-02-07 12:06:05 PM  
He can have the title of King of Cheese once Wayne Newton is dead.
2003-02-07 12:06:53 PM  
"You know what to do, so I won't say PLEASE, just nibble on my dick like this kid does cheese."
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