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(Yahoo)   Teen has 3,500 bags of Cheetos in locker   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
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24388 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2003 at 10:24 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

144 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-07 08:43:47 AM  
Johnson hasn't decided what he would redeem his Cheetos gift points for. "Whatever the biggest thing is," he said.

how about a free liposuction - since he's probably "the biggest thing."
2003-02-07 08:44:40 AM  
"I think it's unusual and funny that this has actually happened," Johnson said. "It's kind of cheesy."

2003-02-07 09:01:26 AM  
Thats WAY more than one bag a day, ugh.
2003-02-07 09:13:32 AM  
Crunchy or puffs?
2003-02-07 09:18:11 AM  
Wouldn't your skin turn an orangish hue by eating that many Chee-tos? His fingers probably look like he's been smoking 20 years.
2003-02-07 09:37:15 AM  
His skin, think about what his TEETH must look like.
2003-02-07 10:21:35 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:21:47 AM  
02-07-03 09:37:15 AM Lulubird

His breath probably smells like hot trash.
2003-02-07 10:27:54 AM  
he's probably really fat.
2003-02-07 10:28:09 AM  
2003-02-07 10:28:48 AM  
This punk's got nothin on me.
2003-02-07 10:29:07 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-02-07 10:29:50 AM  
It's not easy, being cheesy!
2003-02-07 10:30:10 AM  
$10 says he will get his crotch shaved by a bunch of guys tonight
2003-02-07 10:30:35 AM  
I bet his wang is bright orange
2003-02-07 10:32:35 AM  
Wow, this topic sure is intresting, I hope we get a follow up. I read the whole thing ten times, I'm just dying to hear more about this cheese spoof....

/absolute sarcasm
2003-02-07 10:32:56 AM  
He doesn't have 35,000 bags of cheetos, he has 35,000 cheetos bags. There's a huge difference.
2003-02-07 10:33:46 AM

It's all yeah he'll get alot of crap
2003-02-07 10:33:51 AM  
he's probably got orange jaundice-looking eyeballs too.
2003-02-07 10:33:53 AM  
Imagine having to have a locker next to this freak, imagine the freakin smell!
2003-02-07 10:34:15 AM  
thats disgusting
2003-02-07 10:34:47 AM  
Galt2112 - He's got 3500 bags not 35,000 bags. There's a huge difference.
2003-02-07 10:34:48 AM  
Chester appeared at a pep rally for the basketball team, and presented Johnson with a scrolled declaration proclaiming him an "honorary deputy of cheese."

Damn it, I've been campainging for Cheese Deputy for six months now. Well, I can always run for Sausuage King of Chicago. No wait. Damn Monarchy

/nothing, yeah, that's what I got.
2003-02-07 10:35:06 AM  
mmmm cheetos mmmm. Yeah, and I don't understand the math either. A bag a day for the school year=3,500. If you're in school somewhere around 190 days out of the year then that's 18 bags a day. *stomach churn* Did this kid eat anything else?
And what does a Cheeto eater do with the residue left on their fingers (after the mouth rinse) but wipe it on their clothes. The kid had to be completely orange.
2003-02-07 10:35:28 AM  
lawsuit pending. "Collecting empty cheetos bags kept me from getting any in high school."
2003-02-07 10:35:45 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Stop this evil, carniverous bastard before he kills again.
2003-02-07 10:36:01 AM  
It's not easy being cheesy.
2003-02-07 10:37:26 AM  
Mmmmmm Cheetos.
2003-02-07 10:37:44 AM  
I can see him at prom. The elect him prom king - then in his moment of triumph and honer dump a bucket of cheetos on him and pelt him with cheetos from the gym floor.
2003-02-07 10:38:38 AM  
2003-02-07 10:39:25 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:39:26 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-07 10:39:42 AM  
Combine his Ploids with my Marlboro Miles and we could rule the world!!!!!!
2003-02-07 10:39:55 AM  
When I was in school we didn't have any fancy pants lockers and if we got caught with a bag of cheetos they beat you to within an inch of your life.
2003-02-07 10:40:54 AM  
at least it's not another god damned birthday link.
2003-02-07 10:41:04 AM  
"He ate a bag of Cheetos every day at lunch, and collected empty bags from classmates."

2003-02-07 10:41:09 AM  
Sorry to take the jam out of your doughnut, but eating 1 bag of cheetos a day for a year isn't going to make anyone fat. Nor will it turn their teeth, skin or eyes a permanent shade of orange.

Jeez, you people....
2003-02-07 10:41:15 AM  
"I think it's unusual and funny that this has actually happened," Johnson said. "It's kind of cheesy."

You have to be kidding me. Poor Kid.
2003-02-07 10:41:31 AM  
Two words: fat bastard.
2003-02-07 10:41:40 AM  
The article does say he collected empty bags from his classmates, so no, he didn't eat them all himself.
2003-02-07 10:42:10 AM  
I certainly hope they were the crunchy kind, I can't stand the others.....

/drink dr. pepper
2003-02-07 10:42:31 AM  
Puffed Cheetos rule, Crunchy Cheetos drool, by the way
2003-02-07 10:42:56 AM  
Thanks for the clarification PhoenixTMW.
Although, that's still him eating a bag and collecting from 17 friends, a day. Do you really think this kid has 17 friends?
2003-02-07 10:42:58 AM  
It ain't easy bein' cheesey.
2003-02-07 10:44:31 AM  
Whew! When I first read the healine I thought this was MY son! I swear he could live on Cheetos and that upside down 7Up stuff. *shudder*

(Course, its probably my see, when I was pregnant with him I literally ate an entire bag of Cheetos every day, Coke, and McDonald's cheeseburgers. There were other things, too, but I really believe his fascination with Cheetos started in the womb!)
2003-02-07 10:44:47 AM  
Next year we'll be reading about him in the Darwin Awards.
2003-02-07 10:45:32 AM  
This link brought to you by WEED. WEED is the offical sponser of Cheetos. Chester Cheeta is exclusive property of WEED and Spliff/My Organic Kronic Enterprises (S.M.O.K.E) Copyright 1992.
2003-02-07 10:45:35 AM  
in other news, he hasn't had a solid stool in years...and is forbidden from using the schools restrooms
2003-02-07 10:47:19 AM  
Damn.... a GIS for "tubby biatch" returned nothing of value.
2003-02-07 10:47:47 AM  
Would have been more entertaining if they were full bags and he was trying to corner the local Cheeto market
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