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(SacBee)   If you're going to steal a van, don't take one used by a judo team. Hilarity ensues   (sacbee.com) divider line 152
    More: Dumbass  
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15814 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2003 at 8:14 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



152 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-02-07 08:17:25 AM
Supplies!
 
2003-02-07 08:18:37 AM
But gulps huh?
 
2003-02-07 08:20:27 AM
-and i woulda got away with it, if it wasnt for you meddling kids

/shakes fist in air
 
2003-02-07 08:20:30 AM
judo chop...yeah,baby, yeah.

After reading the story the voice of mike myers will not leave my head... grrrrr
 
2003-02-07 08:23:04 AM
Isn't this old? I swear I've heard it before.
 
2003-02-07 08:23:48 AM
Yes the news networks spammed this awhile ago, showing clips over and over for a week.

evidentally this farker lives under a rock, in a cave, on mars.
 
2003-02-07 08:24:19 AM
Yeah, it should at least be a "followup"
 
2003-02-07 08:25:47 AM
This is the result of his trial.

Shoulda been "Followup" not "Amusing."

(Sorry, can't HTML the pretty tags.)
 
2003-02-07 08:27:26 AM
All he had to do was take them on one-by-one, while the others danced around. Hasn't he seen any Steven Seagal movies?
 
2003-02-07 08:28:32 AM
I'll give you a Hong Kong Phooey Chop!

 
2003-02-07 08:28:50 AM
"Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting.........."
 
2003-02-07 08:30:30 AM
*yawn*
 
2003-02-07 08:31:49 AM
Epistax: Maybe he simply didn't live in North America?
 
2003-02-07 08:35:53 AM
Way off topic, but look at this skank's eyes:

Frightening, isn't it?
 
2003-02-07 08:36:39 AM
Actually this is cool now that its cliche...

Martial arts wanted to dispel the idea that its just there to hurt, oppress and bully people.

Now people look to Martial Artists as productive people of society, as more people know Martial Arts, less criminals succeed...

Although the effect on Martial Artists over criminals is hugely small... Just knowing its a positive effect, instead of a negative is good.

Just because you're a peace liking guy doesn't mean there won't be times you gotta defend yourself. If everyone knew proper defense techniques there also would be less crime, because the mental discipline it takes to achieve each level is unattractive to the common criminal who wants something without working.
 
2003-02-07 08:38:31 AM
Look at the size of her melon! It's huge! FUUUGGGGLY!!
 
2003-02-07 08:39:50 AM
Sinatra,

Which skank are you talking about????

;)
 
2003-02-07 08:40:14 AM
Anyone seen the dancing hamster with the nunchaku? Someone should send that dumbass one in prison . . .
 
2003-02-07 08:41:42 AM
shouldn't they take away one "Articles posted" if you put in a repeat?
 
2003-02-07 08:43:09 AM


Would you steal his van?
 
2003-02-07 08:43:46 AM
ADMIN JUST SO YOU KNOW, as you probably already do, on the website www.chessbase.com which is a big chess site, their front page article is the fark photoshop of kasparov losing a game to deep junior, as a chess and fark fan i thought i should let you know, i hope that it is important and that you see it down here in this THREAD.
 
2003-02-07 08:47:36 AM
KAMIKAZE JUST SO YOU KNOW, as you probably already do, you should submit the link instead of burying it in a thread.
 
2003-02-07 08:48:10 AM
The older article was about the asshat getting arrested. This is about same asshat getting sentenced.
 
2003-02-07 08:49:16 AM
woah sorry guys, wasn't sposed to be that big

*hides*
 
2003-02-07 08:51:48 AM
Shouldn't this have been a follow-up?
 
2003-02-07 08:52:03 AM
i typed in the site...i thought it would convert into a link? i am pretty new to fark actually...

it is www.chessbase.com

where should i submit?
 
2003-02-07 08:59:46 AM
Is it me or do the 11 years in prison the most hilarious thing written in this article. HAHA!

11 years in prison to try and steal a van from judokas, priceless!
 
2003-02-07 09:00:23 AM
I dunno.. btw that html better work!
 
2003-02-07 09:00:37 AM
repost??
 
2003-02-07 09:02:13 AM
Grrr...
 
2003-02-07 09:02:51 AM
hi farkers and farkettes...new to fark...but hey they let me talk so it can't be that bad
 
2003-02-07 09:03:52 AM
I remember this story from a few months ago. The only thing that woulld have been funnier than kicking his ass would be if they had put the sorry bastard out of his misery. My wife and I own a van, which usually has an infant in a passenger seat. I am her guardian and parent. She depends soley on myself and my wife for her welfare and protection. If someone, especially a low life scumbag who for some reason thinks I owe him something or that I am going to give up possesions that I have sacrificed for, tries to jack me, they die. Period. There is no way that this ignorant asshat could have known who was in the van and who wasn't. He got off easy. So the moral of the story is, since you don't know who I am or what i look like, but you know I drive a minivan and and have a baby, if anyone reading this ever goes to jack a minivan and open the door to find a man and a baby in the back seat, you'd better apologize, turn away quietly and politely, and run like hell. Because it could be me, or someone like me, and if you're really nice, you may not get a bullet in the brain.

PS-My other vehicle is a Hummer.
 
2003-02-07 09:03:55 AM
Request to all submitters: please, please, please stop adding tired and worn out cliches such as "Hilarity ensues" and "France surrenders" to the end of everything you submit. It's now just annoying.
 
2003-02-07 09:07:48 AM
Cool! Apparently, I can see the future because I was just sure this would happen when I read the original article many weeks ago. Unfortunately, the future is soooo damn boring and lame.
 
2003-02-07 09:08:00 AM
The whole scene smelled of Hi-Karate
 
2003-02-07 09:09:24 AM
Mboosey strops at submissions - France surrenders, hilarity ensues.
 
2003-02-07 09:09:42 AM
this was on the daily show ages ago
 
2003-02-07 09:12:06 AM
Breath took my idea, oh well here it is anyway

 
2003-02-07 09:16:05 AM
Slave2grind:

Easy there compadre! I don't think many carjackers read Fark :-) Also, just because you conceal carry in your van, don't assume that's a cure-all. I am expert rated with a pistol, and have practiced shotokan, judo, and aikido. I still understand that being aware of my surroundings is more important than being willing to shoot a carjacker. Plus if the carjacker comes out of nowhere and has a pistol on in your face before you know what's up, got a contingency plan for that?
 
2003-02-07 09:16:06 AM
"I remember this story from a few months ago. The only thing that woulld have been funnier than kicking his ass would be if they had put the sorry bastard out of his misery. My wife and I own a van, which usually has an infant in a passenger seat. I am her guardian and parent. She depends soley on myself and my wife for her welfare and protection. If someone, especially a low life scumbag who for some reason thinks I owe him something or that I am going to give up possesions that I have sacrificed for, tries to jack me, they die. Period. There is no way that this ignorant asshat could have known who was in the van and who wasn't. He got off easy. So the moral of the story is, since you don't know who I am or what i look like, but you know I drive a minivan and and have a baby, if anyone reading this ever goes to jack a minivan and open the door to find a man and a baby in the back seat, you'd better apologize, turn away quietly and politely, and run like hell. Because it could be me, or someone like me, and if you're really nice, you may not get a bullet in the brain.

PS-My other vehicle is a Hummer."
Oooooh your so tough.. GRRRRR
 
GCD
2003-02-07 09:20:16 AM
Dancingshoes,

If you're going to insuly someone, get it right.

"Oooooh you're so tough.. GRRRRR"
 
2003-02-07 09:20:27 AM
Kick ass -- literally.

11 years -- hah ha!

/nelson muntz
 
GCD
2003-02-07 09:21:18 AM
...and it helps if I can spell INSULT right.
 
2003-02-07 09:22:27 AM
Actually, the carjacker was pretty lucky...

If this guy tried that with less "athletically"-minded martial artists, say, a Brazilian Jiu-jutsu team, he woulda beeen waiting that sentence while eating through a tube at a hospital...
 
2003-02-07 09:24:29 AM
 
OBB
2003-02-07 09:27:27 AM
This reminds me of a cool story:
I was about 11 or twelve at the time, and had remained late at the dojo to watch the Black Belt class, which both my parents were in. As the class was over, and everyone was walking to the front to get their shoes on, a young woman was ambushed using an outdoor bank machine about 40 yards away; two punks punched her, and lifted her purse. Luckily for this girl, she screamed.
Well, as soon as she screamed, about 15 black belts, still in their uniforms, ran out the front door. The two criminals bolted, and the three fastest guys in our club (one of whom is a Toronto cop now) chased them barefoot through the park in the pouring rain, and they managed to tackle and hold the one guy with the purse, while his buddy just kept running (the cops caught the other one). Meanwhile everyone else helped the lady - it turns out her boyfriend was at the other end of the mall buying beer, and he left her at the bank machine by herself. The three guys that ran into the park after the theives got police commendations.
 
2003-02-07 09:27:36 AM
Anyone get a look at the assailant?

 
2003-02-07 09:28:48 AM
The leader of the judo team? You guessed it, none other than Bruce Leeroy.
 
2003-02-07 09:31:36 AM
A loaded gun in the van with the infant.

Trouble brewing.
 
2003-02-07 09:36:05 AM
?

Fark seems to have less retention than a monkey on crack.

Hmm... monkey on crack... that would be a great new cliche.
 
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