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(AP)   Church to hold Easter services at a bar. Bloody Mary prices not nailed down yet   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 78
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1804 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2009 at 6:14 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-04-08 04:11:55 PM
Subby, you're going straight to hell for that.


And you're dragging me with you.
 
2009-04-08 04:31:14 PM
With the snappy and the peppy?
 
2009-04-08 04:42:40 PM
Hooray for Zombie Day! Let's all celebrate the memory of man who clawed his way out of his own fresh grave, then established a cult that practices ritual cannibalism and blood-drinking!

It's gotta be frustrating being Zombie Jesus. On the one stigmata-smeared hand, you have no shortage of ready victims given the size of some congregations. On the other, when you bite into their skulls to get to the delicious brains inside, it's gotta be disappointing when they're all as hollow as one of those cheap chocolate eggs.
 
2009-04-08 06:17:04 PM
I want some more jesus juice.
 
2009-04-08 06:17:29 PM
More wine choices for communion?
 
2009-04-08 06:18:21 PM
MaxxLarge: it's gotta be disappointing when they're all as hollow as one of those cheap chocolate eggs.

simpsonitos.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-04-08 06:18:34 PM
wikimapia.org
 
2009-04-08 06:19:26 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2009-04-08 06:20:16 PM
I spent last Easter at a bar.
Had a couple of Rusty Nails, and Rolling Rock.
 
2009-04-08 06:20:50 PM
Praise the Lord and pass the peanuts !
 
2009-04-08 06:22:05 PM
Pastor Shane Montgomery told KLRT-TV that it's an effort to attract a new audience to his nondenominational ministry.

However, bar employees say it's not yet clear if their liquor license will allow them to serve beer and booze during a Sunday morning service, and are dubious about the sincerity of the target congregation, as all those who accept Christ will be eligible for a complimentary drink to celebrate.



Nondenominational?
I say we create a new one just for this!
 
2009-04-08 06:22:26 PM
Nothing like a shot of whiskey to wash down that delusion!
 
2009-04-08 06:22:32 PM
Old Man from scene 24: I want some more jesus juice.

Would you be cross with me if I called you "king of the juice?"
 
2009-04-08 06:24:04 PM
 
2009-04-08 06:27:11 PM
(Peter receives communion)
Peter: Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24/7!
 
2009-04-08 06:28:46 PM
MaxxLarge: Hooray for Zombie Day! Let's all celebrate the memory of man who clawed his way out of his own fresh grave, then established a cult that practices ritual cannibalism and blood-drinking!

It's gotta be frustrating being Zombie Jesus. On the one stigmata-smeared hand, you have no shortage of ready victims given the size of some congregations. On the other, when you bite into their skulls to get to the delicious brains inside, it's gotta be disappointing when they're all as hollow as one of those cheap chocolate eggs.


soooo you are a firm supporter of the Catholicism WOW! campaign and the wonderfull folks at Hersheys for their yummy bunnies?
 
2009-04-08 06:30:41 PM
Easter is that special time of year where I get to tell this joke over and over again:

"What's the worst way to spend Easter?"
"I dunno, what?"
(spread arms apart, cock head to left, look up, wait for person to take serious offense, point, laugh)
 
2009-04-08 06:30:56 PM
www.printslink.com

Absolutely perfect.
Have a zombie cocktail while celebrating zombie jesus.
 
2009-04-08 06:31:17 PM
So if Jebus sees his shadow, do we get six more weeks of winter?
 
2009-04-08 06:32:14 PM
MaxxLarge: Hooray for Zombie Day! Let's all celebrate the memory of man who clawed his way out of his own fresh grave, then established a cult that practices ritual cannibalism and blood-drinking!

It's gotta be frustrating being Zombie Jesus. On the one stigmata-smeared hand, you have no shortage of ready victims given the size of some congregations. On the other, when you bite into their skulls to get to the delicious brains inside, it's gotta be disappointing when they're all as hollow as one of those cheap chocolate eggs.


Wow, does it take practice to act that superior, or does it come naturally - were your parents brother and sister?

Denigrating Christians on the holiest day of the calender is not only rude, but small minded as well.

And FYI, I haven't set foot in a church since I was forced to go as a boy.
 
2009-04-08 06:35:34 PM
big_league_chewbacca: Easter is that special time of year where I get to tell this joke over and over again:

"What's the worst way to spend Easter?"
"I dunno, what?"
(spread arms apart, cock head to left, look up, wait for person to take serious offense, point, laugh)


I don't get it.
 
2009-04-08 06:36:39 PM
Mine's a zombie flesheater, whose round is it?
 
2009-04-08 06:36:59 PM
fritopendejo
I don't get it.

hongkong-escorts.com
 
2009-04-08 06:37:20 PM
BlankIdea: Old Man from scene 24: I want some more jesus juice.

Would you be cross with me if I called you "king of the juice?"


img14.imageshack.us
 
2009-04-08 06:37:59 PM
big_league_chewbacca: Easter is that special time of year where I get to tell this joke over and over again:

"What's the worst way to spend Easter?"
"I dunno, what?"
(spread arms apart, cock head to left, look up, wait for person to take serious offense, point, laugh)


Wouldn't that be the worst way to spend Good Friday?
 
2009-04-08 06:38:02 PM
OldScotch
Subby, you're going straight to hell for that.


And you're dragging me with you.


yea and it was a bit of a stretch to! I mean if it is clever, it may be worth going strait to hell but for a stretch? Jesus.
 
2009-04-08 06:38:51 PM
ScottMpls: So if Jebus sees his shadow, do we get six more weeks of winter lent?

That would be six more weeks of lent, you jew.

Do they put little crucifixes in the Bloody Mary to stir it? Nail a hot pickled bean to it.
 
2009-04-08 06:39:05 PM
oh dear Lord.. that was baaad..

but still.. well played
 
2009-04-08 06:40:09 PM
Here is the church.
Here is the steeple.
Open it up,
And where are the people?

Across the street,
There is a bar.
Open it up,
And there they are.
 
2009-04-08 06:41:22 PM
big_league_chewbacca: Easter is that special time of year where I get to tell this joke over and over again:

"What's the worst way to spend Easter?"
"I dunno, what?"
(spread arms apart, cock head to left, look up, wait for person to take serious offense, point, laugh)


As a Catholic, I probably laughed harder than I should've at that...ha!

img151.imageshack.us

/hotter than a potato
 
2009-04-08 06:42:44 PM
And Jesus wept.
img9.imageshack.us
 
2009-04-08 06:43:10 PM
Me, too. I plan on getting so piss-ass knackered on Good Friday not even a feckin' priest'll be able to resurrect me til Easter morn'.
 
2009-04-08 06:43:33 PM
and are dubious about the sincerity of the target congregation, as all those who accept Christ will be eligible for a complimentary drink to celebrate

I am dubious of the sincerity regarding most self-identifying Christians, as all those who accept Christ will be supposedly eligible for a complimentary get-out-of-jail-free-card. I could have gone the "as all those who do not accept Christ will be eligible for ostracization from the community" route as well, and I just did.
 
2009-04-08 06:44:22 PM
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/ct4rmb (cut and paste)
 
2009-04-08 06:44:46 PM
I'll probably be at the ABC brewpub in Gettysburg around lunch time on Easter Sunday.
 
2009-04-08 06:46:36 PM
www.tilzy.tv
 
2009-04-08 06:48:54 PM
Why does the easter bunny hide its eggs?
He doesn't want anyone to find out he's Farkin a chicken!
 
2009-04-08 06:49:12 PM
erveek
Wouldn't that be the worst way to spend Good Friday?

i tried that, years ago, wasn't as funny.

i also never understood why it was called "good" friday. doesn't seem to fit the whole theme.
 
2009-04-08 06:52:27 PM
Im sure we will see many miracles this day:

joann.se
 
2009-04-08 06:53:03 PM
ROAD TRIP! Finally something that I can celebrate!!!!!
 
2009-04-08 06:54:07 PM
I only go to church on Easter and Christmas.

I'm not Christian, but I do appreciate a good show.
 
2009-04-08 06:54:30 PM
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/d2rtke (cut and paste, NSFW)
 
2009-04-08 06:56:35 PM
Sounds like something that Heavy Metal Church in North Carolina would be doing. Mosh with Death Metal Jesus then throw back a bunch of beers with the Holy Spirit.
 
2009-04-08 06:57:28 PM
A bar I used to frequent opened promptly at noon every Sunday and had Bloody Marys and Screwdrivers on special all day. I am not fond of drinking tomatoes(I likes mine squeezed from a bottle) and was thankful I could drink vodka flavored vitamin C. That will slay a hangover quickly!
 
2009-04-08 06:59:44 PM
gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/d2rtke (cut and paste, NSFW)


gorg whats with the lack of poppies recently
 
2009-04-08 07:02:34 PM
Approves

img.visualizeus.com
 
2009-04-08 07:02:45 PM
Bravo, submitter...Bravo.
 
2009-04-08 07:13:50 PM
The only drink to order on Good Friday is a rusty nail.

INGREDIENTS:

* 2 ounces Scotch
* 1 ounce Drambuie

/for good Friday, you will need three of these.
 
2009-04-08 07:14:58 PM
First Baptist Bar & Grill?
 
2009-04-08 07:17:00 PM
for Catholics, this just cuts down on the driving back and forth.

If they really cared, they'd do this for Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.
 
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