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(Some Guy)   Thou shalt not roll a fatty using pages of the Bible   (al.com) divider line 144
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15216 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2003 at 4:43 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-02-06 04:44:37 PM
i guess it really isn't just for pothead kids.
 
2003-02-06 04:44:52 PM
heh.
 
2003-02-06 04:45:06 PM
Jesus Santana - he must have liked to see his name wrapped around the herb...
 
2003-02-06 04:45:13 PM
So...would this make him a "Holy Roller"

/ducks
 
2003-02-06 04:45:15 PM
"raid at two mobile homes led to the arrest of 31-year-old Jesus Santana, who was caught rolling marijuana cigarettes with pages from a Bible,"

Oh Christ, where to even begin....
 
2003-02-06 04:45:21 PM
Can I still wipe my ass with them?

Hell, her I come
 
2003-02-06 04:45:52 PM
what would Jesus do? It's clear now!
 
2003-02-06 04:46:04 PM
Man, that even beats my buddy who opens beer bottles with the bible...

- R
 
2003-02-06 04:46:06 PM
One of the lesser known commandments, but probably an important.

"Your son broke the 11th commandment...thou shalt not steal."
 
2003-02-06 04:46:21 PM
What if God smoked cannabis?
 
2003-02-06 04:46:27 PM
Makes good tinder, too!!!
 
2003-02-06 04:46:48 PM
doobies!!!
 
2003-02-06 04:46:49 PM
An important ONE, that is. Damn, too much chronic.
 
2003-02-06 04:46:55 PM
holy smokes.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:10 PM
I always knew that Jesus was a pothead.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:24 PM
Well it was his Dad's book after all
 
2003-02-06 04:47:32 PM
Can I still wipe my ass with them?

not until you use up all of the pages from "earth in the balance" first...

speaking of which, time to head to the ol' crapper and give birth to a liberal...
 
2003-02-06 04:47:37 PM
Very 1st time I ever got high was at church camp at 13 years old. With the preachers daughter. No shizit.

Watch out for the preachers daughters. I kid you not.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:40 PM
"When we arrested him, he made the comment that `I guess God got y'all to get me,"' said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

I really don't know where to start.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:44 PM
Jesus Santana?

 
2003-02-06 04:47:47 PM
God made doobies.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:54 PM
"raid at two mobile home" Oh yeah that's what we need. Another person in my state to continue the mobile home sterotype.
 
2003-02-06 04:47:58 PM
Damn. I used to that all the time in high school. Of course, not wanting to be too sacreligious, I only used the blank pages between sections.
 
2003-02-06 04:48:31 PM
 
2003-02-06 04:48:35 PM
Both versions of the song.

If God had long hair
And a goatee,
And if his eyes looked pretty glazed...
If He looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?
And yeah, yeah, God he looks baked
And yeah, yeah, God He smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Hit the bung like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus,
And he subscribed to Rolling Stone?
When God made this place,
In the beginning,
Did He plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake
Was always offering?
And yeah, yeah... God rolls great,
And yeah, yeah, God he smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus
When he created earth, our home?
Does He like Pearl Jam or the Stones?
And do you think He rolls His own
Up there in heaven on the throne?
And when the saints go marching home,
Does he just sit and smoke a bone?

Would you buy His story
Would you believe He had an eye infection
And yeah yeah
God looks baked
Yeah yeah
God smells good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if God smoked cannabishiat the bong like some of us
Drove a tidy micro-bus
And He subscribes to Rolling Stone
When God made this place
In the beginning, did he plant any seeds
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake was always offering
And yeah yeah
God rolls great
Yeah yeah
God smells good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if God smoked cannabis
Do you 'spose He had a buzz
When He made the platypus
When He created both our homes
Does He like Pearl Jam or the Stones
And do you think He rolls His own
Up there in heaven on the throne
And when the saints go marching home
Maybe He sits and smokes a bone
 
2003-02-06 04:48:35 PM
The informant wasn't going to say anything to the cops until he saw the ripped up Bible pages.
 
2003-02-06 04:48:35 PM
jeebus christ.
 
2003-02-06 04:48:50 PM
The bible? That just can't have tasted too good.
 
2003-02-06 04:49:38 PM
CHEECH 3:16
 
2003-02-06 04:49:42 PM
Talk about a religious flame war.
 
2003-02-06 04:50:34 PM
eh,

1. Already has happened.

2. You could do a whole lot worse.
 
2003-02-06 04:51:17 PM
Was that after the last supper that Jesus took time to roll a joint with his bible?
 
2003-02-06 04:51:31 PM
I've found that smoking joints rolled with the bible has brought me closer to God.
 
2003-02-06 04:51:31 PM
If it's anything but a KJV 1611 version, I don't see what the problem is....

/fundie
 
2003-02-06 04:51:59 PM
Bible pages make great papers. Plus there always in hotel rooms so I always seem to use them when I'm traveling. The best to use are the back pages with nothing on them. The ink from the other pages tastes funny. Except for Leviticus. Mmmmm.....Leviticus.
 
2003-02-06 04:52:14 PM
but that paper will provide necessary roughage and essential inks!
 
2003-02-06 04:52:51 PM
is there a better use for that book?
 
2003-02-06 04:53:44 PM
Damn, use an empty soda can and an ice pick like everybody else!
 
2003-02-06 04:53:59 PM
the Tagline made me lose it. Good thing I was drinking anything when I read it.
 
2003-02-06 04:54:08 PM
So all those times I saw a Gideon Bible in the hotels rooms, it was really ok to spark up ? Damn, I'm so pissed !
 
2003-02-06 04:54:31 PM
He's just interpreting the bible in his own way.
 
2003-02-06 04:54:53 PM
How about a redneck tag?

That should cover all the southern states.

Florida has its own tag and The Dumbass tag covers California.....
 
2003-02-06 04:55:05 PM
Strange how there haven't been any farkers post who are surprised or offended by this...
 
2003-02-06 04:55:21 PM
Seriously, are you gonna use the bible to read?!!??
 
2003-02-06 04:55:25 PM


"God... That *is* a 'Good Book'!"
 
2003-02-06 04:55:42 PM
The judicial system at work.

A guy has 2 small bags - I'll assume 2.0 - 6.0 grams. 4-12 grams total in SEPERATE* packages.

The other guy has 336 grams give or take 40, 296-376 grams in a single bag.

ahahah

they both had weed which means they both smoked it. why don't they both get the same sentence?

I suggest a trial of the Hmong Hmong, where they blow hits into a small holding cell like you would do to any animal you wished to get high.

worked with cigars for me with my pappy.
 
2003-02-06 04:56:27 PM
At least they weren't rolling the pages into little straws and ripping lines of coke with them.
 
2003-02-06 04:56:39 PM
"When we arrested him, he made the comment that `I guess God got y'all to get me,"' said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

Man some people are stupid.
 
2003-02-06 04:56:39 PM
Authorities said they seized three-quarters of a pound of marijuana from Pena and two small bags of marijuana from Santana.

Blakely said the raids came after an informant made buys at both homes.


Remember, kids. It's not entrapment unless they pay the informant.
 
2003-02-06 04:57:19 PM
Thou shalt not roll schwag....
 
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