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(Chortler)   Administration seeks public's help in finding an excuse to go to war   (chortler.com) divider line 393
    More: Satire  
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5476 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2003 at 12:14 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



393 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-02-05 12:17:17 PM
Saddam has given more than enough reasons
 
2003-02-05 12:17:46 PM
just because
 
2003-02-05 12:17:51 PM
dumb
 
2003-02-05 12:18:40 PM


Reuse.
 
2003-02-05 12:19:33 PM
lets see - before it was because he has weapons of mass destruction- now its because weapons of mass destruction can't be found - that fool Bush clearly doesn't need a reason - not a coherent one anyway
 
2003-02-05 12:19:43 PM
In thr great tradition of satire links, I can say safely without even reading the link that this will not be funny.
 
2003-02-05 12:22:06 PM
Canadianbeersux: And you would be correct. but my image, do you find my image funny?
 
2003-02-05 12:22:19 PM

thats his REAL reason!
 
2003-02-05 12:22:53 PM
In The Clinton era, Yes. In the Bush Era, No. The man has principle and doesn't need no stinking polls. You hear that. WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING POLLS. Facts are facts.
 
2003-02-05 12:23:25 PM
Dumb. How about, "We never finished what we started in 91'".
 
2003-02-05 12:23:31 PM
Excuse? How 'bout those chemical warheads? How 'bout breaking the UN treaty? How 'bout running an oppresive dictatorship? How 'bout being a global threat? How 'bout possibly having nuclear weapons? How 'bout supporting Palestinean terrorism? How 'bout..........
 
2003-02-05 12:23:54 PM
bah! bah i say!

just wanted to get in my two cents before the inveitable flame war.

BAH!
 
2003-02-05 12:24:01 PM
"Saddam has given more than enough reasons"

And... er... what would those reasons be, exactly? An audio tape of him chuckling to himself in evil glee and saying "Soon the world will be MINE! YOU HEAR ME? MINE!" that Colin Powell had to make last night for homework?
 
2003-02-05 12:24:05 PM
the 'other guy' being the osama mana
 
2003-02-05 12:24:30 PM
Because My Dad beat you ass...but we didn't finish the job.

George W. is batting cleanup.

...and because Saddam is a raving Asshat.
 
2003-02-05 12:25:23 PM
it's simple:

HENRY: theres a hole in my bucket, dear lisa dear lisa , theres a hole in my bucket, dear lisa, a hole.

so fix it dear henry dear henry dear henry dear henry so fix it!

.... and this goes on until henry needs some oil to lubricate his wrench, and then lisa suggests Iraq
so The Bush admin go to war.
 
2003-02-05 12:27:06 PM
The article would be funny if it wasn't so close to the truth.
 
2003-02-05 12:28:31 PM
 
2003-02-05 12:29:56 PM
Dumb.

Why would you submit an excuse in an SASE? So it can end up back in your own mailbox?

My nephew could write for Chortle. He's six.
 
2003-02-05 12:31:53 PM
didn't Colin Powel just give us 77 minutes worth of reasons?
 
2003-02-05 12:32:14 PM
Cormee- "now its because weapons of mass destruction can't be found"

you are such an idiot.

do you like, read at all? maybe before rendering your uneducated, ignorant, 3rd-grade view of the world, you should actually watch the speech.

and, um, they found WMD.

who's the fool?

(as an aside, i'd like to volunteer you for those bio-chem human experiments saddam does. probably the most contribution you'll ever make to the world)
 
2003-02-05 12:32:52 PM
Hahahaha, did you hear the latest "evidence" that powell presented? Jeeeesus... What A moron...
"Yeah... This will do it.... " Idiot.
 
2003-02-05 12:33:22 PM
How did this piece of shiat get posted, but Powell's speech hasn't yet?
 
2003-02-05 12:35:29 PM
I'm convinced that fark.com has become nothing more than a PR firm for the DNC.
 
2003-02-05 12:35:32 PM
In September 1938 British Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, met German Chancellor Adolf Hitler in Munich to settle the future of the Sudetenland. Hitler's demand that this Czechoslovak land be ceded to Germany was agreed because it was settled by Germans and would therefore be in line with the principle of national self-determination.

Since coming to power in January 1933, Hitler had systematically sought to revise the terms of the Treaty of Versailles which had deprived Germany of territory, and imposed disarmament and swingeing reparations. Agreeing to Hitler's demands became known as Appeasement.

At the time Chamberlain was accused of weakness in not standing up to Hitler. When the government archives were opened it became apparent that Britain's run down defence capability left few alternatives. Later historians have concluded that, while Britain had few alternatives, Chamberlain had misread Hitler's intentions.
 
2003-02-05 12:35:38 PM
ChewbaccaJones & ToeKutter. Lesson Learned Is Boys and Girls: Never Listen to Liberal Appeasers Like Bush Sr. Did. Finish the Job Despite what the UN and Jerkwad Diplomats might say.
 
2003-02-05 12:35:52 PM
Banana
please tell me that was sarcasim.
 
2003-02-05 12:37:07 PM
They must be Commie Loving Trolls. No other Explaination how you could be So Blind. Ignored.
 
2003-02-05 12:37:39 PM
"It's My First Day."

"The dog made me do it!"

"The first rule of Operation Mayhem is that we do not talk about Operation Mayhem"

"What? Huh? I said 'I like Jack Black' not 'bomb Iraq'"

"This is the only way Jodie Foster will ever notice us"

"Massacre schmassacre in the Congo, let's get that oil!"

"They stood in the way of our wealthy industrialists making a ludicrisly obscene amount of money, rather than just the obscene amount of money they make now"

"We have too many poor people around and all these unused draft cards left over from Vietnam"
 
2003-02-05 12:38:50 PM
"Because it is there"
 
2003-02-05 12:39:07 PM
Yalldontknow: So how does it feel to live with a single digit IQ? Does it hurt?
 
2003-02-05 12:39:12 PM
Excuse to go to war with Iraq ? Easy, because we are now too afraid to declare war with North Korea, who actually admitted they DO have weapons of mass destruction, unlike Iraq, who we are pretty sure might have weapons of mass destruction. North Korea should have been our target from the get go. But with Bush's false bravado, we will go after the weaker nation, Iraq.
 
2003-02-05 12:39:56 PM
i'm begining to see many very anti-US comments being posted.

the funny thing is, they're from fags in countries like ireland (Cormee) and sweeden (banana).

let's get this straight: when the weapons are pointed at you, you can express your isolationist, pussy, enabling, knee-trembling, anti-war-protesting views.

you guys are the world's biatches. STFU like usual and let us big boys handle it.
 
2003-02-05 12:40:22 PM
No no no, it's weapons of MOSS destruction, why do you think it's a desert over there?
 
2003-02-05 12:40:50 PM
ok words (Powel's speach) didn't work on liberals. lets try pictures.
 
2003-02-05 12:40:52 PM
Jesus.........
Let me summon up all the peacenicks answers on why not to go to war.....

Bush Admin.:"We need to go to war with Iraq because [reason]
Peacenick:*sticks fingers in ears* LALALALALALALA IM NOT LISTENING LALALALALALA THIS IS ALL ABOUT OIL AND REVENGE LALALALALALALA I DON'T READ THE NEWS OR PAY ATTENTION TO CURRENT EVENTS LALALALALALALA I HAVEN'T SHOWERED OR BREATHED OUT OF MY NOSE IN YEARS LALALALALA!
 
2003-02-05 12:41:03 PM
Wake_N_Bake: Geeee, you sure are a moron... So WHAT weapons in Iraq are pointing at you? Idiot.
 
2003-02-05 12:41:31 PM
Yes Wake_N_Bake I do read - but because I'm not in the USA I am not being spoonfed propoganda - I am getting a slightly more balanced view of what is going on that is why I and most of the rest of the civilised world is AGAINST a war with Iraq.

The BIGGEST threat to world peace is George W Bush NOT Saddam Hussein
 
2003-02-05 12:42:00 PM
Powell just now said how distraught he was over political "disappearances" in Iraq. So maybe Washington will demote Colombia from its current position as the leading recipient of US military aid in the hemisphere. But maybe not.
 
2003-02-05 12:43:23 PM
"Our bombs are reaching their expiration date, so we must use them before they go bad."
 
2003-02-05 12:44:06 PM
Banana-

fu.ck you.

come over here and i'll show you so what.
 
2003-02-05 12:44:11 PM
oh yea powel should be Powell
 
2003-02-05 12:44:12 PM
lol Wake_N_Bake puts up such an coherent argument - read again dude:

'because I'm not in the USA I am not being spoonfed propoganda - I am getting a slightly more balanced view of what is going on '
 
2003-02-05 12:44:13 PM
This is not mine, but I think it is fitting:
When you meet a follower of the current US administration's doctrine:
1. Punch him in the face as hard as you can
2. As long as he hasn't fallen to the ground repeat step 1
3. Tell him that it was necessary to punch him because otherwise he might have punched you or gained the abilitry to punch you in a few years
4. When he is getting up again, this shows that you were right, the likelihood of him punching you in the future rises again. Therefore continue with 1.
Repeat all this until he admits that the idea of pre-emptive strikes was not meant to be used by anyone else, is actually the same like the "right" of the stronger and doesn't make sense as a general principle.
 
2003-02-05 12:45:08 PM
What bugs me is why the U.S is trying to feed this B.S to the rest of the world...
If you wanna invade Iraq and use some cool new weapons on some third world arabs, just do it...
But don´t act like you are doing it for freedom, justice or some other reason...
Damn... Goebbles would have been proud of the U.S government...
 
2003-02-05 12:46:20 PM
Wake n Bake. I knew I liked you.
 
2003-02-05 12:46:23 PM
Wake_N_Bake: Hey, why donĀ“t you go over there instead... Or you are probably just to comfy in your parents basement.
 
2003-02-05 12:47:28 PM
02-05-03 12:41:03 PM Banana
Wake_N_Bake: Geeee, you sure are a moron... So WHAT weapons in Iraq are pointing at you? Idiot.


i belive there were three planes, plus other terorism. and yes they are linked or didn't you pay attention to the speach. now feel safe knowing that your country is not significant enough to be attacked.
 
2003-02-05 12:47:34 PM
Colin Powell just kicked Saddam's arse in the world community. When is Jeanane Garofalo and Susan Sarandon's rebutal news conference happening? asshats!
 
2003-02-05 12:47:46 PM
Administration rhetoric could hardly be stronger. The president asks the nation to consider this question: What if Saddam Hussein

"fails to comply, and we fail to act, or we take some ambiguous third route which gives him yet more opportunities to develop his program of weapons of mass destruction and continue to press for the release of the sanctions and continue to ignore the solemn commitments that he made? Well, he will conclude that the international community has lost its will. He will then conclude that he can go right on and do more to rebuild an arsenal of devastating destruction."

The president's warnings are firm. "If we fail to respond today, Saddam and all those who would follow in his footsteps will be emboldened tomorrow." The stakes, he says, could not be higher. "Some day, some way, I guarantee you, he'll use the arsenal."

These are the words not of President George W. Bush in September 2002 but of President Bill Clinton on February 18, 1998. Clinton was speaking at the Pentagon, after the Joint Chiefs and other top national security advisers had briefed him on U.S. military readiness. The televised speech followed a month-long build-up of U.S. troops and equipment in the Persian Gulf. And it won applause from leading Democrats on Capitol Hill.


But that was then. Now, it's all about oil.
 
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