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(Yahoo)   Dolly Parton denies rumor that she's a lesbian or has ever even owned a Subaru Outback   (music.yahoo.com) divider line
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3849 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Mar 2009 at 5:18 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-03-26 12:51:08 AM  
Listen, they're versatile, reliable cars that retain their value well.
 
2009-03-26 12:53:21 AM  
Forester, subby. If you're trying to imply lesbianism, it's a Forester.
 
2009-03-26 01:47:47 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Forester, subby. If you're trying to imply lesbianism, it's a Forester.


It might depend on where you live, but around here it's definitely the Outback that seems to be the lesbian vehicle of choice. With Ford F150 pickups perhaps being the #2 pick, and various large SUV models as other popular choices.
 
2009-03-26 02:01:55 AM  
Benevolent Misanthrope: Forester, subby. If you're trying to imply lesbianism, it's a Forester.

This.

Cyberluddite: It might depend on where you live, but around here it's definitely the Outback

Hm. It must depend, around here it's the Forester, to the point that if I see what looks to be a man driving one, I just assume he's borrowed a lesbian friend's car.
 
2009-03-26 02:10:05 AM  
Guess I'll have to cross another name off the "I'm Straight, but if She Offered..." list..
 
2009-03-26 05:34:29 AM  
I can never think of Dally Parton without thinking of the Howard Stern version of her audio book.

"Goddamn! I love n****r c**k!"
 
2009-03-26 05:49:24 AM  
Subaru Impreza Wagon, actually.
 
2009-03-26 05:51:12 AM  
thread needs more bewbs.
 
2009-03-26 05:58:25 AM  
My Mom drives a Subaru Impreza, so subby can bite me. Not a bad
car, though it drives a little stiff for my tastes.

I do remember when she first got it, Paul Hogan was doing the
ads for the Outback, and she half-facetously asked if he came
with the car. Given my own devotion to CROCODILE DUNDEE when I
was in college, this was an uncomfortably Freudian moment for me...
 
2009-03-26 06:03:26 AM  
I first heard this rumor 25 years ago.
 
2009-03-26 06:15:54 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Forester, subby. If you're trying to imply lesbianism, it's a Forester.


It takes a strong women to admit she likes to ruffle through the bushes looking for berries.
 
2009-03-26 06:18:49 AM  
Hmmmmm, I have to go check my wife's cell phone now.

Bond, James Bond.
 
2009-03-26 06:55:51 AM  
Come on guys, my daughter drives a Forester and I'm fairly certain she isn't a lesbian. Then again, I guess I wouldn't care if she was, but it hurts my brain to even think about that. Ouch.
 
2009-03-26 07:05:57 AM  

Cyberluddite: It might depend on where you live, but around here it's definitely the Outback that seems to be the lesbian vehicle of choice.


Same here. So we've now covered CA and NY, and both of the lesbians who live elsewhere drive Foresters I guess.
 
2009-03-26 07:07:10 AM  
If I had a daughter, I'd prefer it if she were a lesbian. Guys are assholes.
 
2009-03-26 07:15:52 AM  
Wait....why are foresters Lesbomobiles?


The pair of lesbo's down the street drive matching Ford Pickups.
 
2009-03-26 07:18:25 AM  
Sure but what about the Birkenstocks and Indigo Girls CD's?
 
2009-03-26 07:24:08 AM  
Hmm, my wife owned a Forester...


Honey, we have to talk about that threesome thing again!
 
2009-03-26 07:50:28 AM  
Even lesbians around here think Subarus are ugly.
 
2009-03-26 07:57:01 AM  
Heeeeeeeeeey, I drive a Forester! And I like it...I also lika da poosay, so there might be something to this.
 
684
2009-03-26 08:09:55 AM  
Guess it depends on where you live but I've noticed that Honda CRV's are very popular with the friends of Rosie.
 
2009-03-26 08:16:35 AM  
Having been raised by a lesbian, I'd like to offer up that lesbians tend to like to drive anything shaped like a bread box.
 
2009-03-26 08:20:05 AM  
I thought lesbians drove a Porsche/(Portia).

/It's a much better joke when spoken.
 
2009-03-26 08:36:10 AM  
Came for the Dolly pics...leaving disappointed.
 
2009-03-26 08:42:46 AM  
I would bet she has titty-smothered a few hapless ladies in her day!
 
2009-03-26 08:52:37 AM  
In my household there's a Subaru Outback and a Toyota Sienna - the ultimate breedermobile. I guess they cancel each other out.
 
2009-03-26 09:00:47 AM  
I don't care how old she is, and I don't care about the rumors...

Yea, verily, I say unto thee
I would, with great vigour,
Shtup the lovely Miss Dolly
 
2009-03-26 09:07:20 AM  
I don't know if anyone's noticed, but Dolly Parton has huge breasts.
 
2009-03-26 09:13:49 AM  
FTA: Also on the drawing board: possibly hosting a children's TV show a la Pee-wee's Playhouse.

The only way that could be more awesome would be if Pee-wee co-starred.
 
2009-03-26 09:24:44 AM  
my father and brother drive outbacks and i'm pretty sure they're both lesbians.
 
2009-03-26 09:39:12 AM  
Dolly may not be a lesbian but she does have an open marriage with her husband.

On the topic of Subaru Outbacks, my father thinks they're awesome. Then again, his favourite show used to be Gilmore Girls and he wears Birkenstocks.
 
2009-03-26 09:40:31 AM  
Subby repeats Subby's self...
 
2009-03-26 09:42:10 AM  
For a while it was the Suzuki Sidekick, wasn't it?

The lesbian I used to work with drove one of those.
 
2009-03-26 09:48:15 AM  

Riley Diefenbach: I don't know if anyone's noticed, but Dolly Parton has huge breasts.


Couldn't tell from this thread though.
 
2009-03-26 09:48:41 AM  
Anybody else think it's sad that one of the best female vocalists of all time, a living legend (and wonderful human being) is only really referred to in that article as having played a guest role on Hannah Montana?
 
2009-03-26 09:50:09 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: My Mom drives a Subaru Impreza, so subby can bite me. Not a bad
car, though it drives a little stiff for my tastes.


WARNING: use of the words "my Mom" and "a little stiff" in close proximity may cause an uncontrollable release of innuendos.

/innuendo? That's what she said!
 
2009-03-26 10:06:58 AM  

Dubwise: Having been raised by a lesbian, I'd like to offer up that lesbians tend to like to drive anything shaped like a bread box.


Haha! So true. It seems like half the lesbians I know drive Honda Elements.

/Know plenty of lesbians
//married to a derby girl
///Have never actually seen a breadbox
 
2009-03-26 10:19:58 AM  

antihuman: I can never think of Dally Parton without thinking of the Howard Stern version of her audio book.

"Goddamn! I love n****r c**k!"


I remember that too. As a poorly edited, choppy POS.
 
2009-03-26 10:20:43 AM  
well HELLO Dolly!
 
2009-03-26 10:34:29 AM  

Yukon Cornelius: Anybody else think it's sad that one of the best female vocalists of all time, a living legend (and wonderful human being) is only really referred to in that article as having played a guest role on Hannah Montana?


Dolly's songwriting is criminally underrated.
 
2009-03-26 10:42:45 AM  
My parents went to an event a few weeks back where she was a guest. My mom got her picture taken w/ her and then proudly showed it to me a week later. So mom is about 5'3", maybe 5'4" and in this picture was still towering over Dolly who was wearing what looked like 6" platforms.

Also, seeing her proportions next to my mother... I'm even more astounded that she can stay standing at all.
 
2009-03-26 10:44:17 AM  
Where the vag at y'all!?!

img2.timeinc.netView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 10:49:07 AM  
All the lesbians I know drive FedEx trucks.
 
2009-03-26 11:03:02 AM  
Did anyone else listen to the Backwoods Barbie linked on the article page?

In the first verse she says she grew up wanting to look like Barbie or the models in the Fredricks catalog.

The Fredrick's catalog is not something I think most people would have just lying around for the kids to peruse.

And her "friend's" last name? Ogle. If they were lesbians wouldn't she have changed that to Fondle?
 
2009-03-26 11:07:32 AM  
Gentlemen,

Can we all agree that dykes drive the aforementioned boxy cars (be they outbacks, pickups, elements, etc.)

The term Lesbian should be reserved for those magical, mythical coont hungry nymphos that the internet has exposed us to.
Pesonaly, I like to think that lesbians drive ice cream trucks - but instead of ice cream they have pictures of hardcore sex acts (really, who can decide without the pictures). Instead of whimsical children's music the trucks play a plethora of strip club tracks, from 80s hair bands to more recent R&B hits (to attract a more ethnically diverse consumer base).

When men hear the music they could run outside, dollar bills clenched in their fists, arms waving as they yell, "STOP!"
For a bargain price, an orgy would ensue.

/Listens for the sound of Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls" in the distance
 
2009-03-26 11:15:49 AM  

ClintBartonWannabe: In the first verse she says she grew up wanting to look like Barbie or the models in the Fredricks catalog.


I wouldn't say that. My son (2nd grade at the time) was invited to a birthday party for one of the girls in the class. She opened most of the presents with little excitement, just a polite "Thank You". Her "aunt" showed up with present in hand and the girl ripped open the package with more enthusiasm then I'd seen all day. She proudly displayed a sheer "nightie" that could have easily come from one of Fredrick's catalogs.

The mom and aunt were quite proud of the moment and the rest of us adults quietly looked at each other. You could tell everyone had the same thought, "hmm, must be time to get going".

/my son is much older now, I'm not sure if I should encourage him to find the once little girl or advise him to stay 12 miles away from her.
 
2009-03-26 11:21:51 AM  
Dolly Parton denies rumor that she's a lesbian or has ever even owned a Subaru Outback

Has she been in the back of a Volkswagen?
 
2009-03-26 11:29:28 AM  
Looks good... check.
Handles well... check.
Comfortably seats five... check.
Reliable and needs little maintenance... check.
Carries 8-foot lumber without needing to leave the back open... check.
Carries over 800lbs. of rock and sand... check.
Can travel on pretty much any road most full-size SUVs can... check.
Isn't a top-heavy behemoth... check.

The Outback is pretty much the ultimate car. I've had mine for over 10 years, plan to keep it another 4-5 and will likely replace it with another at that time.
 
2009-03-26 11:34:36 AM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Looks good... check.
Handles well... check.
Comfortably seats five... check.
Reliable and needs little maintenance... check.
Carries 8-foot lumber without needing to leave the back open... check.
Carries over 800lbs. of rock and sand... check.
Can travel on pretty much any road most full-size SUVs can... check.
Isn't a top-heavy behemoth... check.

The Outback is pretty much the ultimate car. I've had mine for over 10 years, plan to keep it another 4-5 and will likely replace it with another at that time.


Thought you were talking about Dolly Parton there until the part about not being top-heavy.
 
2009-03-26 11:51:10 AM  

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: Looks good... check.
Handles well... check.
Comfortably seats five... check.


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