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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Somewhere, Kirstie Alley is rolling over in her gravy   (suntimes.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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45625 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2009 at 6:26 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-03-26 01:02:19 AM  
I truly believe we have a contender for Headline Of The Year here.

/not Subby.
//I loved it.
 
2009-03-26 02:33:26 AM  
Gotta love the "click to enlarge image" option.

It wasn't such a bad picture until I did that.
 
2009-03-26 02:37:03 AM  
It's rare a headline will get me to truly laugh out loud. Well done subby. Well done.
 
2009-03-26 02:57:44 AM  
and here i thought kirstie alley would be rolling in flour...

/subby, you bastage, now i've thought of that. dammit
 
2009-03-26 03:11:42 AM  

TommyymmoT: Gotta love the "click to enlarge image" option.

It wasn't such a bad picture until I did that.


WHOA! What did they do? Photoshop her body and MS Paint her face?
 
2009-03-26 03:53:29 AM  

SpinStopper: TommyymmoT: Gotta love the "click to enlarge image" option.

It wasn't such a bad picture until I did that.

WHOA! What did they do? Photoshop her body and MS Paint her face?


Yeah, I was kind of wondering the same thing. I guess we will have to wait and see the actual magazine cover to determine the sharpness of the....knees...and the facial features...along with the strange waist flatness which almost gives a "pressed" look...wtf? Nobody looks like this!!!!


/please for the love of satan stop buying these rags
 
2009-03-26 06:09:27 AM  
Great headline!

Come on guys, give her a break, she is almost fifty. Looking better than most P.S. or not.
 
2009-03-26 06:11:22 AM  

paulseta: I truly believe we have a contender for Headline Of The Year here.


Doesn't qualify (have to be self-contained, as I recall). But very funny indeed, subby.
 
2009-03-26 06:34:20 AM  
As Eddie Van Halen would say: I'd hit that.

The other highlight of the page: Chicago weather (at top): DULL.
 
2009-03-26 06:35:09 AM  
She has a serious case of the jaggies all along her thighs and abdomen. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest there was some minor photoshopping here... something about the pixels...
 
2009-03-26 06:35:12 AM  

SpinStopper: WHOA! What did they do? Photoshop her body and MS Paint her face?


Wait-

That was her face *after* it was touched up?!?

*BARF*
 
2009-03-26 06:40:18 AM  
I would prefer the before .. at least in that one her face does not look like she was smacked with a frying pan


and she has bigger boobs
 
2009-03-26 06:47:04 AM  
Even in her Before pic, I would hit it One Day at a Time.

/a pulsar day, that is
 
2009-03-26 06:48:33 AM  
i'd tap it! I do most of my stuff from behind anyways.
 
2009-03-26 06:49:23 AM  
And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes.

media1.suntimes.comView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 06:52:25 AM  

Control_this: And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes.


You would be too, if you were married to Eddie for, what 20 years?
 
2009-03-26 06:56:27 AM  
img357.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 07:00:27 AM  
Control_this: And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes.

ftfy
 
2009-03-26 07:16:38 AM  
Before/After or After/Before??

thebosh.comView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 07:18:56 AM  
celebrities.biteus.orgView Full Size

LOL WUT
 
2009-03-26 07:20:41 AM  
Yup.
 
2009-03-26 07:21:31 AM  
Why is this news? She's still a nasty old skank.
She should have posed nude back in her heyday instead of a crap filled bikini in the twilight of her life.
 
2009-03-26 07:25:16 AM  
Zotfripper: LOL WUT

Those excess thetans make her look fat.
 
2009-03-26 07:28:00 AM  
She can roll in my gravy. As long as she doesn't speak.

/great headline, btw
 
2009-03-26 07:33:01 AM  

aar0on: Before/After or After/Before??


Hey I think instead of John Travolta they coulda used Kristie Ally for the Hairspray remake.

ovationtv.comView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 07:40:12 AM  
I call shenanigans. I read the article in People and it says she weighs 132lbs and is 5' 4". I am 5' 5" and weigh 122 lbs and she looks thinner than me. She looks like she's about 110 in that picture, based upon my own experience. It's either really air brushed or that's somebody else's body from the neck down.
 
2009-03-26 07:42:48 AM  

Bangkapi: Why is this news? She's still a nasty old skank.
She should have posed nude back in her heyday instead of a crap filled bikini in the twilight of her life.


Lets see your biatch...

*crickets*

Thought so...
 
2009-03-26 08:02:35 AM  
[image from img205.imageshack.us too old to be available]

IMMA CHARGIN' MAH LAZER

Q&D
 
2009-03-26 08:05:36 AM  
came for "shopped... pixels.. etc"

Left tapestried.

/verily
 
2009-03-26 08:05:54 AM  
Great headline!
 
2009-03-26 08:14:00 AM  
I'd baste it!

/No I wouldn't.
//Yes I...no. I wouldn't.
 
2009-03-26 08:18:30 AM  
I recently lost 25 lbs. with NutriSystem. Really.
 
2009-03-26 08:24:55 AM  
I can't believe you guys are being such jerks to America's Sweetheart (circa 1981) Valerie Bertinelli. I grew up with her on TV and if given the opportunity today would still go full-bore Thor on her.
 
2009-03-26 08:26:37 AM  
I like how the article starts with "Valerie Bertineli is back!"
Unless she has some show or project that ISN'T shilling for a weight-loss company, then no, she's not. Getting on People in a bikini is not "back". I seem to recall Jodie Sweetin from "Full House" was on it a few months ago, for getting over a drug problem no one in the general public even knew she had, and just look at how hot her career is now!
 
2009-03-26 08:28:31 AM  

Omnivorous: As Eddie Van Halen would say: I'd hit that.

The other highlight of the page: Chicago weather (at top): DULL.


Yeah, the Sun-Times does that everyday, try to describe the weather in one or two words...often funny.
 
2009-03-26 08:29:55 AM  
To think that's WOLFGANG VAN HALEN'S mom!
 
2009-03-26 08:31:05 AM  
I saw her on a TV commercial for "Entertainment Tonight" or some other crap show this morning, wearing that bikini and posing around for this shoot.

She looked good in it, even with TV adding a few pounds.
 
2009-03-26 08:34:33 AM  

carmody: I can't believe you guys are being such jerks to America's Sweetheart (circa 1981) Valerie Bertinelli. I grew up with her on TV and if given the opportunity today would still go full-bore Thor on her.


THIS - I had a crush on her as a kid and still think she's cute. I don't know exatly what Full-bore Thor is, but I'm willing to try it on her, if she'll let me.
 
2009-03-26 08:36:07 AM  
I broke my prepubescent peenor watching One Day at a Time. It healed, but only thanks to repeated viewings of that show Nell Carter was on.
 
2009-03-26 08:39:42 AM  
Here's a news flash. Every picture of a woman published is shopped. Thighs and waist thinned, bust enhanced, blemishes smoothed. And not just a little bit either; as much as 15% may be trimmed on most of the pix in a magazine. Playboy models have not really looked human since the '90s.
 
2009-03-26 08:40:44 AM  

OldRod: She has a serious case of the jaggies all along her thighs and abdomen. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest there was some minor photoshopping here... something about the pixels...


I've seen a lot of 'shops in my day, and I think you're right. Feel free to check out my newsletter.
 
2009-03-26 08:41:12 AM  

mariecordona: I call shenanigans. I read the article in People and it says she weighs 132lbs and is 5' 4". I am 5' 5" and weigh 122 lbs and she looks thinner than me. She looks like she's about 110 in that picture, based upon my own experience. It's either really air brushed or that's somebody else's body from the neck down.


No self-respecting journalistic magazine would ever swap heads with a thinner body...

[image from cs.dartmouth.edu too old to be available]


Oh wait...never mind....
 
2009-03-26 08:41:13 AM  
She is the most attractive woman in Hollywood.
 
2009-03-26 08:49:13 AM  
Hmmmm gravy, it's what's for dinner.

i288.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 08:54:09 AM  
With the way she looks now and all the nostalgia, I'd probably last 30 seconds with Val-- flattened face and all.
 
2009-03-26 08:54:45 AM  

ninjakirby: It's rare a headline will get me to truly laugh out loud. Well done subby. Well done.


Sure, it's funny now, but when she dies of a heart attack, who'll be laughing then?

/the answer is "me"
 
2009-03-26 09:01:29 AM  

zippythechimp: She is the most attractive woman in Hollywood.


surely, you jest

i52.photobucket.comView Full Size


i52.photobucket.comView Full Size


i52.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-03-26 09:01:42 AM  
As a man living in a city where the women have collectively "let themselves go", and terms like BBW are embraced, and it's easier to just get a bunch of tats than to take care of yourself....I commend this woman.

Here's the worst part about living in a city where "big is beautiful" (or whatever): It doesn't stop women from wearing skin-tight pants that let their midsection hang over the waistline...and they still love to show everyone their thong.
 
2009-03-26 09:03:32 AM  

Sue Dunham: Here's a news flash. Every picture of a woman published is shopped. Thighs and waist thinned, bust enhanced, blemishes smoothed. And not just a little bit either; as much as 15% may be trimmed on most of the pix in a magazine. Playboy models have not really looked human since the '90s.


I think it's Shape magazine which says it doesn't. There was a photo of a celebrity on the cover recently (as there is every month), and then an outcry saying the photo was photoshopped. The editor said that there was minimal photoshopping done, and nothing to change the body shape.
 
2009-03-26 09:05:12 AM  
I have seen better photoshops in a fark thread.
 
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