FARK.com: (4289599) Canada and France are teetering on the brink of a terrible war. The only things left to decide are how long their armies will break for lunch, and whether Canada's white snowsuits will unfairly camouflage France's surrender flags

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		Canada and France are teetering on the brink of a terrible war. The only things left to decide are how long their armies will break for lunch, and whether Canada's white snowsuits will unfairly camouflage France's surrender flags (canada.com)		171
		More: Asinine

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sens		2009-03-25 04:48:10 PM

Man. The U.S., Russia, Demark, Spain, France.... all these jerks always trying to claim our shiat as their own. How about No?

I think it's time for Canada to stop pussying around and build some nukes already like everyone else. And yes, we have the money, the expertise and the resources to build them, it's just been a philosophical issue for us not to have them.

But I'll be damned if any of these countries are gonna take our lunch money! Mangez-moi, France!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy some freedom fries.

oldfarthenry		2009-03-25 04:56:20 PM

No worries. We know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

sens		2009-03-25 05:14:48 PM

oldfarthenry: We know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

Now now, one country at a time! Those were mostly British soldiers (albeit many future Canadians) with those torches, and this is about France, remember?

And hey, where did they get that nice colour film in 1814 anyway?

sens		2009-03-25 05:24:45 PM

Hmm, looks like this story's gone green. Before anyone freaks out I'm going to pre-emptively out myself as the (Canadian) submitter.

I know some folks are probably still raw after this Fox News thing, but hopefully I know the difference between a joke and an outright insult. And before you track me down and kill me, please note that my headline has Canada winning!

Diogenes		2009-03-25 05:26:13 PM

The French can call on Joan of Ark.

Hender		2009-03-25 05:26:50 PM

sens: I know some folks are probably still raw after this Fox News thing, but hopefully I know the difference between a joke and an outright insult. And before you track me down and kill me, please note that my headline has Canada winning!

Against France? I thought that between Canada and France it would be a series of ever-escalating nastygrams without a shot ever being fired.

darkyn		2009-03-25 05:30:00 PM

Hender: I thought that between Canada and France it would be a series of ever-escalating nastygrams without a shot ever being fired.

It might even get to the point of an ambassador or two being asked politely to leave. Clearly, it is hoped that such carnage can be avoided.

No YOU'RE a Towel		2009-03-25 05:31:56 PM

They can have Quebec back, how's that sound?

Hender		2009-03-25 05:37:46 PM

darkyn: Hender: I thought that between Canada and France it would be a series of ever-escalating nastygrams without a shot ever being fired.

It might even get to the point of an ambassador or two being asked politely to leave. Clearly, it is hoped that such carnage can be avoided.

I've always thought that Canada got a raw deal. They could have ended up the most powerful of nations with French cuisine, British culture, and American technology. Instead they got shafted with American culture, British cuisine, and French technology. Bummer.

darkyn		2009-03-25 05:46:28 PM

Hender: I've always thought that Canada got a raw deal. They could have ended up the most powerful of nations with French cuisine, British culture, and American technology. Instead they got shafted with American culture, British cuisine, and French technology. Bummer.

Heh. My family is British and I was 10 when I finally asked my father if the British knew that the outside of the cow was also edible.

Hender		2009-03-25 06:03:11 PM

darkyn: Hender: I've always thought that Canada got a raw deal. They could have ended up the most powerful of nations with French cuisine, British culture, and American technology. Instead they got shafted with American culture, British cuisine, and French technology. Bummer.

Heh. My family is British and I was 10 when I finally asked my father if the British knew that the outside of the cow was also edible.

Screw that. How about "Dad, why is everything smothered in gravy?" In all fairness, though, my girlfriend's parents are British and her Dad is an exceptional cook for many things not covered in gravy.

Snarfangel		2009-03-25 06:03:11 PM

I guess I shouldn't have sold all those baby seal uniforms to the French.

I_Am_Weasel		2009-03-25 06:09:36 PM

No YOU'RE a Towel: They can have Quebec back, how's that sound?

You don't suppose the French are that dumb, do you?

Hender		2009-03-25 06:15:25 PM

I_Am_Weasel: No YOU'RE a Towel: They can have Quebec back, how's that sound?

You don't suppose the French are that dumb, do you?

No no, you don't understand. It's not a concession to the French--it's Canada's nuclear option.

pnjunction		2009-03-25 06:15:59 PM

darkyn: Hender: I've always thought that Canada got a raw deal. They could have ended up the most powerful of nations with French cuisine, British culture, and American technology. Instead they got shafted with American culture, British cuisine, and French technology. Bummer.

Heh. My family is British and I was 10 when I finally asked my father if the British knew that the outside of the cow was also edible.

I'd like to think we didn't take the weird stuff, just the basics like stew, shepherd's pie, roasts, etc. Alot of French influence as well like potatoes au gratin (my mom called them scalloped potatoes), pea soup, etc.

darkyn		2009-03-25 06:21:00 PM

Hender: Screw that. How about "Dad, why is everything smothered in gravy?" In all fairness, though, my girlfriend's parents are British and her Dad is an exceptional cook for many things not covered in gravy.

Fortunately, I was spared the gravy excess.

Unfortunately, I survived on innards, eggs, vegetables and chips, all subjected to the rule of "fry or boil." If the latter, the duration essentially ensuring all resemblance of its former shape and texture were but fond memory.

If anyone tries to offer you something called "tripe," run.

pnjunction		2009-03-25 06:25:13 PM

darkyn: Fortunately, I was spared the gravy excess.

Unfortunately, I survived on innards, eggs, vegetables and chips, all subjected to the rule of "fry or boil." If the latter, the duration essentially ensuring all resemblance of its former shape and texture were but fond memory.

If anyone tries to offer you something called "tripe," run.

Well my Canadian mom made gravy with the roast beef every Sunday, but we never at innards and she usually cooked meat in the oven (or dad would BBQ) rather than frying or boiling. Plenty of veggies got boiled though, but I don't see anything wrong with that.

No innards and no tripe, the rest of us would have rebelled. I was not impressed when I was introduced to tripe via a bowl of soup at an asian restaurant.

darkyn		2009-03-25 06:29:43 PM

pnjunction: Well my Canadian mom made gravy with the roast beef every Sunday, but we never at innards and she usually cooked meat in the oven (or dad would BBQ) rather than frying or boiling. Plenty of veggies got boiled though, but I don't see anything wrong with that.

Yeah, that sounds much like what the other kids were eating, damn them.

PenguinTheRed		2009-03-25 06:30:06 PM

oldfarthenry: No worries. We The British ~~know~~ used to know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

FTFY

Also: LOL YOUR MILITARY HAS TO SWEAR AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE BRITISH CROWN!!1!

sens		2009-03-25 06:36:25 PM

PenguinTheRed: Also: LOL YOUR MILITARY HAS TO SWEAR AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE BRITISH CROWN!!1!

Yeah, but they do it with a snicker and crossed fingers behind their back.

We're just waiting for this Queen to die before we take her off our money and get rid of the last of those meaningless pleasantries.

Rusty Shackleford		2009-03-25 06:44:32 PM

PenguinTheRed: oldfarthenry: No worries. We The British know used to know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

FTFY

Also: LOL YOUR MILITARY HAS TO SWEAR AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE BRITISH CROWN!!1!

Actually, they (and pretty much every other federal govt employee) takes an oath of allegiance to the Queen of Canada.

hockeyfarker		2009-03-25 06:45:31 PM

VERRE TERRAIN DE STATIONNEMENT

Ennuipoet		2009-03-25 06:47:38 PM

Now, now, let's just have a couple of Molsen's and bowl poutine and talk this over like adults, eh.

PenguinTheRed		2009-03-25 06:54:13 PM

Rusty Shackleford: Actually, they (and pretty much every other federal govt employee) takes an oath of allegiance to the Queen of Canada.

And the Welsh take an oath to the Queen of Wales. The Scots take an oath to the Queen of Scotland. The English take an oath to the Queen of England. It just happens to be the same queen.

Face it Canada, all your base are belong to Great Brittan.

urger		2009-03-25 06:55:51 PM

Be careful France, America doesn't take too kindly to people farking with out little Brother up north.

darkyn		2009-03-25 06:55:51 PM

PenguinTheRed: Face it Canada, all your base are belong to Great Brittan.

Not in any significant kind of way since 1982.

gopher321		2009-03-25 07:28:52 PM

sens: PenguinTheRed: Also: LOL YOUR MILITARY HAS TO SWEAR AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE BRITISH CROWN!!1!

Yeah, but they do it with a snicker and crossed fingers behind their back.

We're just waiting for this Queen to die before we take her off our money and get rid of the last of those meaningless pleasantries.

Says you. Some of us are damn proud of the British heritage and having a sovereign as head of state (Figurehead or no).

No YOU'RE a Towel: They can have Quebec back, how's that sound?

They can have Quebecers back, the land we keep - we'll give to the native Canadians for past injustices.

Tr0mBoNe		2009-03-25 07:52:14 PM

darkyn: Not in any significant kind of way since 1982.

img84.imageshack.us

Also, for reference, this is the map of the French claim and the court decision claim that was actually assigned to SPM.

img213.imageshack.us

Smangler		2009-03-25 07:57:13 PM

PenguintheRed: Also: LOL YOUR MILITARY HAS TO SWEAR AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE BRITISH CROWN!!1!

Sure. And this is she:
i146.photobucket.com

/Technically, our Commander in Chief.

SithLord		2009-03-25 07:58:52 PM

The US should stay out of this one.

Everyone knows you don't break up a catfight.

ThrobblefootSpectre		2009-03-25 07:59:08 PM

Should be an amusing conflict. Canada will send it's inflatable dinghy (navy) and France will surrender.

Baz the Spaz		2009-03-25 07:59:16 PM

Eh?

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers		2009-03-25 07:59:53 PM

Is Magua on the French side?

Miss Smartass		2009-03-25 08:02:16 PM

Je vais manger les bebes dans France.

Who says I'm bad at French?
Anyway, I have a few American friends, and they're always telling me that Canada is a wussy country and that we would loose any war. I like to think of us as the crazy ex-girlfriend. We were nice and quiet, but we go psycho if you piss us off.

bin_smokin		2009-03-25 08:03:03 PM

I hear France is hard up for $$. Maybe we should just buy the island from them eh?

garvin32		2009-03-25 08:03:36 PM

oldfarthenry: No worries. We know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

Wow oldfarthenry, you just cant't help yourself can you? Even when the story has nothing to do with the US. You just bash away. Sad really, not to mention a bit pathetic.

I love Canada, especially the women. But this constant hating on the US by some Canadian Farkers is tiring not to mention old.

gave up		2009-03-25 08:04:43 PM

'bout time Canada got its' own Vietnam....

sleeps in trees		2009-03-25 08:07:07 PM

* Dons tinfoil hat*

Maybe this is why the Canadian Military needs a "break".

* Dons flame retardant suit*

/weeee

Iron Chef Scottish		2009-03-25 08:07:22 PM

PenguinTheRed 'Brittan'.
F*ck me. Some people.
www.enableireland.ie

SomeAmerican		2009-03-25 08:08:27 PM

Google map mystery!

St-Pierre-Miquelon

Also St-Pierre-Miquelon

Can you spot the difference?

bravian		2009-03-25 08:08:58 PM

The maritime delimitation between Canada and France was settled definitively by the June 10, 1992, arbitration decision made by the tribunal instituted by the March 30, 1989, arbitration agreement between the two parties.

That's all I have to say.

Renart		2009-03-25 08:10:02 PM

oldfarthenry: No worries. We know how make assholes shut-up if we have to.

Wouldn't a scene from the Battle of the Plains of Abraham be more appropriate?

Rozinante		2009-03-25 08:11:44 PM

gave up: 'bout time Canada got its' own Vietnam....

Yeah, except we'd be the Viet Cong and the French would be...the French.

Lipspinach		2009-03-25 08:12:31 PM

Tr0mBoNe: darkyn: Not in any significant kind of way since 1982.

Also, for reference, this is the map of the French claim and the court decision claim that was actually assigned to SPM.

I never before noticed Trudeau giving the Vulcan salute with his left hand in that picture!

Jubeebee		2009-03-25 08:13:32 PM

Miss Smartass: Je vais manger les bebes dans France.

Who says I'm bad at French?
Anyway, I have a few American friends, and they're always telling me that Canada is a wussy country and that we would loose any war. I like to think of us as the crazy ex-girlfriend. We were nice and quiet, but we go psycho if you piss us off.

Naw, man, we like talking trash to you guys, but we'll be damned if we let anyone else mess with you.

And against the French? Go put on your best hockey sweater and go tell them to piss right the hell off. We'll stand behind you with all our explody toys and advanced technology while playing footage from 1944 backwards.

gave up		2009-03-25 08:13:43 PM

Can we expect waves of service eligible Canadians fleeing south?

Miss Smartass		2009-03-25 08:16:25 PM

Jubeebee: Naw, man, we like talking trash to you guys, but we'll be damned if we let anyone else mess with you.

So, you're like the older brother that we don't like, but tolerate.

mizchief		2009-03-25 08:17:14 PM

The French government, under pressure from economically marginalized citizens in the remnants of its former empire, announced Wednesday it will file its claim before a May 13 deadline

Does this mean France is the new Germany?