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(Metro)   Kung fu master swallows chopstick, forgets about it until it's surgically removed 20 years later. Bonus: Photo helpfully captioned "Some chopsticks, not lodged in a kung-fu master's stomach"   (metro.co.uk) divider line 86
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13781 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2009 at 4:27 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-03-24 02:50:07 PM
What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

failblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-03-24 02:55:54 PM
Is this uncommon? I thought a lot of Chinese people put pieces of wood in their fat bellies. They are known as Chinese pot stickers.
 
2009-03-24 02:59:51 PM
Let's start this off right.

i595.photobucket.com
 
2009-03-24 03:06:54 PM
Also not in stomach ;)

i41.tinypic.com
 
2009-03-24 03:16:44 PM
SpinStopper: Also not in stomach ;)

Holy God.
 
2009-03-24 03:27:52 PM
"Grasshopper, when you can remove the chopstick from my stomach, it will be time for you to move on."
 
2009-03-24 03:34:14 PM
hillbillypharmacist: SpinStopper: Also not in stomach ;)

Holy God.


Very real. Snopes (pops) even did an article on it.

Sorry, folks. The porcupine quills reminded me of chopsticks ;)
 
2009-03-24 04:29:57 PM
So that's what chopsticks may look like.
 
2009-03-24 04:30:41 PM
Wing Ma, now 40, accidentally swallowed the 21cm-long (7in) stick while trying to condition his body to take pain.

'It never came out the other end. I forgot about it until the other day when I started to get pains in my stomach...'


How's that training working out for you?
 
2009-03-24 04:31:16 PM
So what you're saying is that he can easily swallow 7 inches?
 
2009-03-24 04:31:28 PM
Indeed, your Chopsticks method is very good but you will never defeat my Heart and Soul technique!

- Swallows Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia)
 
2009-03-24 04:32:37 PM
robmilmel: "Grasshopper, when you can remove the chopstick from my stomach, it will be time for you to move on."

"Hey, hey! It's me, Ed Gruberman. How long is this gonna take?"
 
2009-03-24 04:33:57 PM
You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.
 
2009-03-24 04:34:54 PM
I quit after I mastered Hamster Style
 
2009-03-24 04:35:53 PM
SpinStopper: Also not in stomach ;)

OW OW OW OW OW OW!
 
2009-03-24 04:37:49 PM
Boot to the Head
 
2009-03-24 04:38:11 PM
What is the sound of one chopstick?
 
2009-03-24 04:39:13 PM
You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

The hell?
 
2009-03-24 04:39:18 PM
-Master, what's the difference between a woman and a pearl?
-Simple, Grasshopper, the pearl you put in its hole in the front or in the back, and the woman you put in her hole in the front.
...few moments of thinking....
-But master, in some women you put in her hole in the back.
-Grasshopper, in this case it is not a woman, it is a pearl!
 
2009-03-24 04:40:09 PM
Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.


Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.
 
2009-03-24 04:41:18 PM
silentneep: So what you're saying is that he can easily swallow 7 inches?

For 20 years at a stretch!
 
2009-03-24 04:41:30 PM
Antimatter: Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.

Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.


They're not necessarily to scale...compared to the train and the whale, the boot and penguin are huge!
 
2009-03-24 04:41:38 PM

phlegmmo


How's that training working out for you?


He managed just fine for 20 years.; I'd say the training was effective. (I would be very surprised if he never had any stomach pain during that time.)
 
2009-03-24 04:43:01 PM
The only thing I can come up with is "Items that a vegetarian will never eat"
 
2009-03-24 04:46:14 PM
buckler: Antimatter: Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.

Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.

They're not necessarily to scale...compared to the train and the whale, the boot and penguin are huge!


I am going with , "Things that are made of Atoms"
 
TSD [TotalFark]
2009-03-24 04:46:47 PM
i41.photobucket.com
 
2009-03-24 04:48:26 PM
Hack Patooey: "The only thing I can come up with is "Items that a vegetarian will never eat"

Oh I don't know. I've heard Ingrid Newkirk will bite the fark out of a good boot stew.

Or... was that tofu? *shrug* they taste the same.
 
2009-03-24 04:52:50 PM
To me the surprise is with as many body blows as a kung-fu master is bound to have during his training/practtice, i can't believe nothing ever hit him just right to cause a rupture.
 
2009-03-24 04:53:19 PM
unchellmatt: Oh I don't know. I've heard Ingrid Newkirk will bite the fark out of a good boot stew.

Or... was that tofu? *shrug* they taste the same.


having spent 18 years as a vegetarian i will say, you got it all wrong, Boot Leather is way tastier than Tofu.
 
2009-03-24 04:53:55 PM
20 years in a hydrochloric bath? That's some chopstick!
 
2009-03-24 04:56:09 PM
So after eating chopsticks you are hungry 20 years later?

/TSD - I would totally eat sushi off her tummy.
 
2009-03-24 05:01:17 PM
CapitolG: buckler: Antimatter: Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.

Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.

They're not necessarily to scale...compared to the train and the whale, the boot and penguin are huge!

I am going with , "Things that are made of Atoms"


I don't know, that boot could be neutronium.
 
2009-03-24 05:01:53 PM
Reyito: To me the surprise is with as many body blows as a kung-fu master is bound to have during his training/practtice, i can't believe nothing ever hit him just right to cause a rupture.

So you go see if you can land a blow on him...
 
2009-03-24 05:02:44 PM
So now how's he going to get fiber???
 
2009-03-24 05:04:09 PM
People who have never been in my kitchen?
 
2009-03-24 05:06:29 PM
CapitolG: buckler: Antimatter: Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.

Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.

They're not necessarily to scale...compared to the train and the whale, the boot and penguin are huge!

I am going with , "Things that are made of Atoms"


Places I've stuck my penis when I probably shouldn't have???
 
2009-03-24 05:07:28 PM
You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:


I'm thinking it's because they all move in some sort of way.

The piano might seem like the odd one out, but it can roll.
 
2009-03-24 05:08:47 PM
JesseL: I don't know, that boot could be neutronium.

good shot, but even neutronium is only "primarly" composed of netrons, still having Protons it would be conciderd Atoms.

I still think i have this one coverd.... but even better awnser..

"Things printed on paper"
 
2009-03-24 05:09:03 PM
Ambrotos: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:


I'm thinking it's because they all move in some sort of way.

The piano might seem like the odd one out, but it can roll.


It can rock, too.
 
2009-03-24 05:09:06 PM
Also on that page (new window). WTF?
 
2009-03-24 05:09:58 PM
Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.


They all start with P. No seriously. Grab a thesaurus.
 
2009-03-24 05:10:06 PM
Ponzholio: Places I've stuck my penis when I probably shouldn't have???

OK, you have now beat any I have come up with.
 
2009-03-24 05:12:12 PM
Did he catch the fly?
 
2009-03-24 05:12:12 PM
they all begin with "P"

Penguin
Piano
Pilot whale
Passenger train
phalanges cover
 
2009-03-24 05:14:20 PM
I was going to say "things that have never instantly been called into existence miles above a planet by an improbability drive" but the whale screws it up.
 
2009-03-24 05:14:45 PM
Ponzholio: CapitolG: buckler: Antimatter: Hack Patooey: You Can't Fix Stupid: What do these objects have in common? None of them are lodged in a king fu master's stomach:

I am, apparently, stupid, cause I don't get it.

Its the boot and the Penguin that throws me.

The others are 'large' things. But those two aren't.

They're not necessarily to scale...compared to the train and the whale, the boot and penguin are huge!

I am going with , "Things that are made of Atoms"

Places I've stuck my penis when I probably shouldn't have???


Items recovered out of Richard Simmons' ass?
 
2009-03-24 05:16:23 PM
All I've got is, "items I've used to explain a sex act using a colorful euphemism," but that seems pretty specific ...
 
2009-03-24 05:16:37 PM
CapitolG:
having spent 18 years as a vegetarian i will say, you got it all wrong, Boot Leather is way tastier than Tofu.

If you're eating plain tofu, you're doing it wrong and deserve no better.

/Not a vegetarian
 
2009-03-24 05:16:45 PM
Xuge: Also on that page (new window). WTF?

WTF,
I am soooooo Confused
 
2009-03-24 05:16:51 PM
Besides pilot whales have much more rounded heads, looks more like a blue whale to me.
 
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