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(Den Of Geek)   10 movie ending ideas that should have been leaked to the Internet first   (denofgeek.com ) divider line
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16709 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Mar 2009 at 6:40 AM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-03-24 05:26:38 AM  
Matrix III. The intertubes would have made it as good as SoaP.
 
2009-03-24 06:04:15 AM  
I wonder when the writer last saw The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Not only is it explained why the adult T-Rex and its infant were transported to the U.S. (to be attractions in the new version of Jurassic Park), but they weren't taken to San Francisco. They were transported to San Diego.

That being said, the ending to Tim Burton's version of Planet of the Apes is far closer to Pierre Boulle's novel than the Charlton Heston version. However, both movies differed wildly from the novel in many ways.
 
2009-03-24 06:36:31 AM  
I see dead people.

You sell whatever you want, but don't sell it here tonight.
 
2009-03-24 07:00:57 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: I wonder when the writer last saw The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Not only is it explained why the adult T-Rex and its infant were transported to the U.S. (to be attractions in the new version of Jurassic Park), but they weren't taken to San Francisco. They were transported to San Diego.


The writer does say San Diego.
 
2009-03-24 07:07:52 AM  
I liked the end of the lost world. When the T-Rex eats that family's dog is one of my favorite parts.
 
2009-03-24 07:09:30 AM  
I've gotta agree with Bathia up there. I got up to take a leak a few hours ago and this article indeed said 'San Francisco'.

Someone fixed their fark-up.
 
2009-03-24 07:11:21 AM  
The ending to the fairly recent film "The Objective (^)" made me want to hurt cute things.
 
2009-03-24 07:12:37 AM  
I think the ending of "The Lost World" is the Jurassic Park sequel that Spielberg had wanted to make all along, but for some reason Michael Crichton ignored the ending of his own first book (which hinted the dinos were coming to civilization) and wrote that crappy novel, which was just like the first except with out all the interesting theme park twists.

I liked it. I would have watched the T.Rex storm around San Diego for two hours, no problem, but I can't stand "The Lost World."
 
2009-03-24 07:16:02 AM  
Swordfish was released in 1991. It turns out, John Travolta is the good guy in that movie.
 
2009-03-24 07:25:53 AM  
I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.
 
2009-03-24 07:31:01 AM  
Although it's a film from ancient days (the 1980's), Kevin Kline's January Man has the most asinine ending of any film I have ever seen.
 
2009-03-24 07:31:11 AM  

mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.


Oh c'mon.
 
2009-03-24 07:31:47 AM  
Commenter will defend any of M Night Shamalamadingdong's films. I've yet to see any worthy of praise.

Signs was the worst. We've an alien, capable of traveling great distances to other planets. Water is deadly for them. They invade a planet which is mostly water. Without raincoats. Idiotic.
 
2009-03-24 07:34:17 AM  
Re: The World Is Not Enough - I thought the line was "I thought Christmas comes only once a year", not "Christmas comes but once a year" like she's been saving it up. Is it that hard to put the DVD in and check the facts??
 
2009-03-24 07:34:35 AM  

mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.


That makes two of us.
 
2009-03-24 07:36:00 AM  
When are Hollywood writers and directors ever going to learn that less is more. If the leaked terminator ending had been done it would have annoyed so many fans. John Conner,future,robots,fighting and action.Its all anyone's asking for no need to junk it up with new crap that messes up the whole franchise.

/leaks was prolly true it's typical hollywood.
//glad it got changed.
 
2009-03-24 07:42:36 AM  
How much does it cost to make sure that your blog is instagreened every day? These guys suck and lack the professionalism to even make a properly edited and researched list.
 
2009-03-24 07:45:26 AM  
BOND
I love Christmas in Turkey.

CHRISTMAS
So isn't it time you unwrapped your
present?

INT. BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT

Tanner and Q look at a SATELLITE THERMAL IMAGE OF ISTANBUL.

TANNER
That's strange.

The satellite image zooms in one particular car parked in a
side street. We can just make out Bond's ASTON MARTIN.

TANNER
He must be nearby.

M comes over.

The image moves from the car, closes on the garden rooftop.
The thermal image is multi-coloured, difficult to decipher.

M
Where?

Q
This picks up body heat. Humans should
be orange.
(searching)
There.

And he points to ONE orange figure lying on the rooftop.

M
(to Tanner)
I thought you said he was with Doctor
Jones?

They all look back to the image. The figure is turning RED,
almost glowing.

M
It's getting redder.

Tanner, Q and M realize as one that this is an image of two
people, one atop the other. And getting hotter.

M
Bond.

Q switches the screen off, clears his throat.

Q
Could be a premature form of the
Millennium Bug.

EXT. ROOF, ISTANBUL - CONTINUOUS

It's dark, we can't really see them.

CHRISTMAS
You know James... I think Christmas is
coming early this year.
 
2009-03-24 07:50:20 AM  
Monkey-faced Abe Lincoln.
 
2009-03-24 07:51:16 AM  
Agree with all of them except for MI3, TWINE (I like cheesy bond more than 'no cuts lasting more than 5 frames during fights' bond), and RotK (better than in the book).
 
2009-03-24 08:03:19 AM  
 
2009-03-24 08:09:36 AM  
Why would leaking these endings to the Internet have made a difference? Why not just name the article, "10 Movie Endings I Didn't Like?"
 
2009-03-24 08:16:05 AM  

radioman_: Why would leaking these endings to the Internet have made a difference? Why not just name the article, "10 Movie Endings I Didn't Like?"


That would be pretentious.
 
2009-03-24 08:19:56 AM  
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL:

The Internet would have told you that your ending was shiat for free.


The ending? That whole movie was shiat.
 
2009-03-24 08:49:46 AM  
I find the whole hate for Crystal Skull kind of stupid. Look at the last three movies and what they were based around:
1. Holy Box
2. Holy Rocks
3. Holy cup
All involving an invisible man from the sky and that is more believable than the plot around Crystal Skull? Shia is nowhere near my favourite actor and the inclusion of him as making the movie bad I can understand but the skull? No worse than the first 3.

Return of the King did have an ending that dragged but that book had a lot going on in it and there wouldn't have been an easy way of ending it otherwise.

Signs was an homage to War of the Worlds where it was bacteria or a virus that killed the martians. Can't use that again. That movie definitely had a creep factor in it.
 
2009-03-24 08:56:02 AM  

Last One Left: Matrix III. The intertubes would have made it as good as SoaP.


That movie SUCKED soooo bad!! I saw it in the theater and was actually mad walking out afterward mumbling stupid farkin hollywood.
 
2009-03-24 08:57:14 AM  
Oh, c'mon. You can't fault a Bond film for using a double entendre, groanworthy line. That's just stupid.
 
2009-03-24 09:01:56 AM  

CarnySaur: mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.

That makes two of us.


3
 
2009-03-24 09:02:50 AM  

rikkards: I find the whole hate for Crystal Skull kind of stupid. Look at the last three movies and what they were based around:
1. Holy Box
2. Holy Rocks
3. Holy cup
All involving an invisible man from the sky and that is more believable than the plot around Crystal Skull? Shia is nowhere near my favourite actor and the inclusion of him as making the movie bad I can understand but the skull? No worse than the first 3.


I hate having to explain this again and again...

Look, it's not the aliens THEMSELVES that necessarily pissed off the fans. Besides the fact that they were poorly done, I think people could have rolled with that. It's the fact that the first three worked off an established idea that Holy Stories of all cultures have truth to them. That God and gods exist, and they put these objects of mystical power on earth in various forms for various reasons. We can accept that, as it stuck with the same theme all the way through.

Then IV comes along and just tosses aliens into the mix. Basically saying that religious miracles were all due to aliens, but we as stupid humans interpreted it all as magic and God.

It's the change in tone that pissed off most people. Add to that the vine swinging hijinks, the crazy psychic lady that wasn't, defying basic physics and laws of magnetism, and the titular "Crystal Skull" looking like a molded plastic prop stuffed with aluminum foil and Christmas lights, and you have a lot of pissed off fans of the original.
 
2009-03-24 09:03:26 AM  

Blathering Idjut: Oh, c'mon. You can't fault a Bond film for using a double entendre, groanworthy line. That's just stupid.


Best part of the movie, for me.
 
2009-03-24 09:04:36 AM  

CarnySaur: mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.

That makes two of us.


Whatever you two guys are on, I'll have some of it.

Everydayiblasphorme: Last One Left: Matrix III. The intertubes would have made it as good as SoaP.

That movie SUCKED soooo bad!! I saw it in the theater and was actually mad walking out afterward mumbling stupid farkin hollywood.


I never get the hate for Matrix 3. I mean yeah, it sucked... but it didn't seem any worse than Matrix 2. The Dragonball fight didn't seem any worse than the endless, pointless Smiths brawl.

As for The Lost World, I'm surprised the writer liked the first 90% half of the movie. It just seemed so weak and pointless to me. For one thing, at the end of JP 1, they never explained what happened to the island... so why do they have to have a "site B"? Why not just go back to the first island as the plot for JP 2? I mean, that's a niggling detail that pales before having a sequel with only one member of the original cast, cheaper-looking monsters despite better technology, and guys with assault rifles who fail to kill a single dinosaur... but y'know, WTF happened? Picking the ending seems silly.

Not to mention the ending has the dumbest plot-hole in the movie. The T-Rex is trapped in the hold before it breaks out and starts rampaging around the city... so how did it kill everybody on the boat?
 
2009-03-24 09:07:45 AM  
The Christmas line was cheesy but was it really that cheesy compared to some of the other bond moments? Is it cheesier than all the lines of the movie when the brits catch him nailing his female sidekick?

Moonraker:
Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defense: "My God, what's Bond doing?"
Q: "I think he's attempting re-entry, sir."

The spy who loved me:
M: "Moneypenny, where's 007?"
Monneypenny: "He's on a mission sir. In Austria."
M: "Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately."

Bond movies have always been chock full of cheese.
Jaws gets a girlfriend.
That gay assed little yellow helicopter.
He tosses the fish out of the submarine car.
The midget tossing wine bottles then being thrown into a suitcase.
Christopher Walken and Mayday. Such a nice view...Durr yeah a view to a kill!!!...groan
For every cheesy line he makes up for it with an awesome line though. How about tomorrow never dies when he chucks the dude into the printing press and says "They'll print anything these days".
 
2009-03-24 09:10:01 AM  
The end of "Signs" was a nice touch, I thought. Subtle and true to the character. Unlike the ending of all of Shyamalan's movies that followed.
 
2009-03-24 09:10:41 AM  
Minority Report has an ending that really holds up on reflection.

There are two schools of thought out there - and this "writer" obviously didn't do any reading or lacks the perception to identify ending B.

Basically, as explained in the "criminal storage" facility or whatever it is by the jailer - when people are put into hibernation "They say your whole life passes before your eyes... that all your dreams come true."

Cruise gets put into hibernation and the film suddenly switches - he escapes thanks to the miraculour return of his wife who left him long ago for being a junkie - captures the bad guy and precrime is shut down. He lives happily ever after with his pregnant wife...This could be a typical Spielberg ending or alternatively it could be Criuse's happy dreams, from the depths of hibernation.

I thought this was an excellent movie, BTW.
 
2009-03-24 09:13:06 AM  

spacechicken170am:
That gay assed little yellow helicopter.


www.nationmultimedia.com

Its an autogyro, and she is quite able to defend her own honour, thankyouverymuch
 
2009-03-24 09:14:56 AM  
Shadowknight:
It's the change in tone that pissed off most people. Add to that the vine swinging hijinks, the crazy psychic lady that wasn't, defying basic physics and laws of magnetism, and the titular "Crystal Skull" looking like a molded plastic prop stuffed with aluminum foil and Christmas lights, and you have a lot of pissed off fans of the original.

You can throw in some more perspective and point out that the first three also take place in a period of time where those sort of pulp stories were king - Tutankhaman, evil nazis, flapper action, etc. The 4th Indy movie takes place in the 50s, which is kind of the birthplace of goofy science fiction.
 
2009-03-24 09:15:40 AM  
Farking html farking farked me. Everything until after 'the original' should have been italicized for quotes.
 
2009-03-24 09:16:44 AM  

KhamanV: You can throw in some more perspective and point out that the first three also take place in a period of time where those sort of pulp stories were king - Tutankhaman, evil nazis, flapper action, etc. The 4th Indy movie takes place in the 50s, which is kind of the birthplace of goofy science fiction.


I understand that, but it still shifts gears in the universe that has already been established. Just didn't work, as evidenced by most people's reaction to it. Yeah, it made a mint based on the good will and love from the first three, but ask your average person what they thought about it.
 
2009-03-24 09:17:08 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: Commenter will defend any of M Night Shamalamadingdong's films. I've yet to see any worthy of praise.

Signs was the worst. We've an alien, capable of traveling great distances to other planets. Water is deadly for them. They invade a planet which is mostly water. Without raincoats. Idiotic.


Don't you get it? It was a subtle commentary on the idiocy of a world at the mercy of intelligence communities that can barely function enough to wipe their boogers on their own asses. It was brilliant, I tells ya. BRILLIANT.
 
2009-03-24 09:21:01 AM  

Shadowknight: rikkards: I find the whole hate for Crystal Skull kind of stupid. Look at the last three movies and what they were based around:
1. Holy Box
2. Holy Rocks
3. Holy cup
All involving an invisible man from the sky and that is more believable than the plot around Crystal Skull? Shia is nowhere near my favourite actor and the inclusion of him as making the movie bad I can understand but the skull? No worse than the first 3.

I hate having to explain this again and again...

Look, it's not the aliens THEMSELVES that necessarily pissed off the fans. Besides the fact that they were poorly done, I think people could have rolled with that. It's the fact that the first three worked off an established idea that Holy Stories of all cultures have truth to them. That God and gods exist, and they put these objects of mystical power on earth in various forms for various reasons. We can accept that, as it stuck with the same theme all the way through.

Then IV comes along and just tosses aliens into the mix. Basically saying that religious miracles were all due to aliens, but we as stupid humans interpreted it all as magic and God.

It's the change in tone that pissed off most people. Add to that the vine swinging hijinks, the crazy psychic lady that wasn't, defying basic physics and laws of magnetism, and the titular "Crystal Skull" looking like a molded plastic prop stuffed with aluminum foil and Christmas lights, and you have a lot of pissed off fans of the original.


I would probably have less of a problem with the movie if all that Indy found were bodies, but no, the frickin' aliens had to come to life and fly away in their saucer-shaped spacecraft.

I remember sitting in the theater, watching the alien come to life, and I thought to myself, "Hey, movie, that's a little much."

Then five minutes later, the Jones family looks back and watches as a flying saucer emerges from underground and flies away, and I thought, "Nevermind."
 
2009-03-24 09:25:25 AM  
mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.

You think that's bad? I actually liked that film (I thought the scene with the smashing of the vase holding the gun was pretty nice -- and with Heston as an ape too!), AND Signs. I'm a sad individual. But in my defense, everything M Night did after Signs was pure crap.

Shadowknight: I understand that, but it still shifts gears in the universe that has already been established. Just didn't work, as evidenced by most people's reaction to it. Yeah, it made a mint based on the good will and love from the first three, but ask your average person what they thought about it.

I think that's kind of a closed-minded view. The existence of aliens and god are mutually exclusive within the Indiana Jones series? You can't have both?
 
2009-03-24 09:29:04 AM  

nesler: I think that's kind of a closed-minded view. The existence of aliens and god are mutually exclusive within the Indiana Jones series? You can't have both?


I could, if IV hadn't done their best to explain away the first three's phenomena by saying that it was all aliens and we stupid humans just explained it all with stories about gods and magic.

Coexistence and complete retconing is completely different things.
 
2009-03-24 09:30:34 AM  
Shadowknight: I could, if IV hadn't done their best to explain away the first three's phenomena by saying that it was all aliens and we stupid humans just explained it all with stories about gods and magic.

I don't recall the fourth film ever trying to claim that what took place in the first three films had ANYTHING to do with the aliens.

Details?
 
2009-03-24 09:38:03 AM  
FTA
THE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING

We wish, in this case, about three or four of the endings had been leaked onto the Internet. That way, they might have just ended the finest film trilogy of the past decade with just one finale.


1. It's not a trilogy. It's one movie in three parts. I've never read the books and even I understand this.
2. After eleven hours of story, I think we deserve an extended ending. Sorry your bladder couldn't handle it.

CarnySaur: mikemoto: I actually liked the Burton remake of Planet of the Apes and thought the ending worked pretty well.

That makes two of us.


Three'd! Is it really that much worse than the original? Seriously. Walking, talking monkey movie, people.
 
2009-03-24 09:44:26 AM  
Excusing the obvious missing entry from this list, I Am Legend, I going to with the a 2007 craptacular ending and say The Mist. Pretty decent movie that was complete undone with a horrible, horrible ending.
 
2009-03-24 09:48:17 AM  

fo_sho!: Minority Report has an ending that really holds up on reflection.

There are two schools of thought out there - and this "writer" obviously didn't do any reading or lacks the perception to identify ending B.

Basically, as explained in the "criminal storage" facility or whatever it is by the jailer - when people are put into hibernation "They say your whole life passes before your eyes... that all your dreams come true."

Cruise gets put into hibernation and the film suddenly switches - he escapes thanks to the miraculour return of his wife who left him long ago for being a junkie - captures the bad guy and precrime is shut down. He lives happily ever after with his pregnant wife...This could be a typical Spielberg ending or alternatively it could be Criuse's happy dreams, from the depths of hibernation.

I thought this was an excellent movie, BTW.


That would be cool if there weren't already a Tom Cruise movie with that plot. But if I told you which, it'd be kind of a spoiler. Then again, it's not a very good movie.

SPOILER

Vanilla Sky.

/SPOILER.
 
2009-03-24 09:53:16 AM  
Signs was the worst. We've an alien, capable of traveling great distances to other planets. Water is deadly for them. They invade a planet which is mostly water. Without raincoats. Idiotic

I didn't even like Signs but a moran could figure out that the movie was not about aliens. It was about Gibson's character rediscovering his faith.
 
2009-03-24 09:59:48 AM  
Why people hated the aliens in Indie 4:

Aliens = scifi
Gods = fantasy

You're exchanging strange mystical forces for SCIENCE. With cursed boxes or live granting chalices there's an unexplained quality to the goings on, with aliens you've got the "it's been done through advanced technology" thing that removes the mystery.
 
2009-03-24 10:04:54 AM  

abigsmurf: You're exchanging strange mystical forces for SCIENCE.


Because we KNOW aliens exist, of course. Science!

with aliens you've got the "it's been done through advanced technology" thing that removes the mystery.

Yep, that's what ruined Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Er, wait...
 
2009-03-24 10:09:52 AM  

I Like Bread: abigsmurf: You're exchanging strange mystical forces for SCIENCE.

Because we KNOW aliens exist, of course. Science!

with aliens you've got the "it's been done through advanced technology" thing that removes the mystery.

Yep, that's what ruined Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Er, wait...


Would 2001 have been a better film if instead of all the trippy imagery, some scientists revealed the black obelisk was just a computer sending out brainwaves to further mankind SCIENCE?

Some films need mystery, some need solid closure. Indiana films have always been about the mystery.
 
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