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(Some Guy)   Farker Marcus42 needs something to wake him up in the morning but hates coffee. Suggestions? Voting enabled   (dairyland-ca.com) divider line 354
    More: Advice  
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3707 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2003 at 7:15 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-02-03 11:05:42 PM  
BAWLS
 
2003-02-03 11:43:03 PM  
Learn to like it.
 
2003-02-03 11:50:13 PM  
Diet Mountain Dew- The coffee for sissies
 
2003-02-03 11:51:36 PM  
Dr. Pepper and Cheez wiz!
 
2003-02-04 12:02:54 AM  
Diet Mountain Dew - no calories, tastes pretty good over ice, and enough caffeine to kill Juan Valdez
 
2003-02-04 12:04:02 AM  
Set alarm to foreign speaking radio station with volume turned all the way up. You will be wide awake but pissed.
 
2003-02-04 12:05:41 AM  
Um, TEA? There's only about fifty caffinated varieties.
 
2003-02-04 12:09:03 AM  

+

=

 
2003-02-04 12:10:05 AM  
I will kick you in the NUTS!
 
2003-02-04 12:40:31 AM  
good suggestions guys, but FYI diet mr. pibb has 80mg of caffiene (almost as much as jolt) Jolt, moutain dew, Bawls, and my personal favorite of the caffiene inventions: Caffinated Soap (available on thinkgeek.com). I bought some and that shiat farkin wakes me up more than coffee ever did.
 
2003-02-04 01:18:47 AM  

They're great to fall asleep on, too...
 
2003-02-04 01:31:12 AM  
I drink Green Tea with Ginseng (I think Celestial Seasonings makes some too)

A big glass of that has me wired passed noon.
 
2003-02-04 01:34:02 AM  
 
2003-02-04 01:44:24 AM  
 
2003-02-04 03:50:31 AM  
...and my personal favorite of the caffiene inventions: Caffinated Soap (available on thinkgeek.com). I bought some and that shiat farkin wakes me up more than coffee ever did.

But it doesn't taste that much better than coffee.
 
2003-02-04 05:58:23 AM  
Cigarettes, burgers, caffeine, and alcohol. The breakfast of champions.
 
2003-02-04 07:18:57 AM  
"Let's do it wike Bwutus!"
 
2003-02-04 07:19:07 AM  
Masterbation.
 
2003-02-04 07:19:10 AM  
Alarm clock for Winamp, Pantera.
 
2003-02-04 07:19:22 AM  
cocaine, hookers, cigarettes, and a jack and coke. :)
 
2003-02-04 07:19:42 AM  
A cold shower
 
2003-02-04 07:20:07 AM  
Have a wank. I do it every morning.
 
2003-02-04 07:20:14 AM  
Masturbation
 
2003-02-04 07:20:21 AM  
Use a trucker's airhorn attached to an alarm clock.
 
2003-02-04 07:20:48 AM  
everyone else is wrong.

Little happy yellow pills called Vivarin

you can get a box of like 40 of them for about $6, or like $4 if you buy a generic brand, it's around 25-40 cents per pill, and I think they have either 150mg or 200 mg of caffeine. Take 2 when you wake up, and if that wont wake you up, you shouldnt have gotten out of bed, because you are dead. Much more powerful than any $6 espresso, or nasty ass cup of black coffee, no matter what you add to it. Or you can be a little sissy and follow the directions and only take one, that should still keep you going for a few hours. Basically cheap condensed coffee without the nastiness. It's a sure winner.
 
2003-02-04 07:20:51 AM  
There is no caffeine in Mountain Dew in Canada :(
 
2003-02-04 07:21:19 AM  
For shiat's sake, just take a goddamn Xenadrine. Makes all you Mountain Dew drinkers look like (bigger) pussies.
 
2003-02-04 07:21:34 AM  
Thumping hardcore techno and several lesbians.
 
2003-02-04 07:21:52 AM  
Wake up with this....

 
2003-02-04 07:22:12 AM  
Thumping hardcore techno and several lesbians.

Part II
 
2003-02-04 07:22:23 AM  
A 5 y.o. son.
 
2003-02-04 07:22:32 AM  
you + shower + wack off = up & ready
 
2003-02-04 07:22:34 AM  
Just fill up a bathtub, plug in a 14 inch or so TV (bigger the better), get in the water and drop the TV in. Never worry about getting up again, plus your death will look incredibly awesome to all who witness it.

If suicide's not your thing, just get someone to light your blanket on fire every morning.
 
2003-02-04 07:22:55 AM  
a blow job.

(vote for me!)
 
2003-02-04 07:23:01 AM  
A 5 y.o. son (with vote)
 
Raz
2003-02-04 07:23:15 AM  
No caffeine in Mountain dew in Canada?

That's it, I'm never going there.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:17 AM  
The real trick is learning where to stash their bodies, Goatman.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:18 AM  
I find electric cattle prods work well...
 
2003-02-04 07:23:26 AM  
One Word: Speed.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:33 AM  
Redbull gives you wings. Drop a shot of jager in it to start your day off with a kick.

Heavy amounts of cocaine will do the trick, and knock a few pounds off as well.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:38 AM  
hey, im sure where you can get them for retail, but maybe you should go out and buy yourself a pair of testicles, and stop asking us how to solve your whiny little pissant problems.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:40 AM  
A lukewarm shower and a vial of crack.

That oughtta do it.
 
2003-02-04 07:23:49 AM  
I've always quite enjoyed this... NSFW.
 
2003-02-04 07:24:10 AM  
"Wow, Trucker's Choice!"
 
2003-02-04 07:24:19 AM  
now with voting!

hey, im sure where you can get them for retail, but maybe you should go out and buy yourself a pair of testicles, and stop asking us how to solve your whiny little pissant problems.
 
2003-02-04 07:24:23 AM  
Freezing cold water on your face. Repeat as needed. Best of all: it's free!
 
2003-02-04 07:24:50 AM  
a few benzedrine tabs do the trick.

Don't worry about those little thingies you see floating around after a few days. They're only angels watching over you. Either that or aliens. I forget which. Hey! Are you looking at me??!! Hey! I'm talking to you!

Wow. Isn't it a nice day out. I think I'll go run around the block for a little while.
 
2003-02-04 07:25:16 AM  
Oops... just checked my link... didn't go where it was supposed to. Mods, can you nuke it please? Mea culpa.
 
2003-02-04 07:26:12 AM  
and jesus christ people, how hard is it to remember to click the "Add this comment to the voting?" button the first time, I swear, half the posts in any voting enabled thread include the words "Now with voting!"
 
2003-02-04 07:26:13 AM  
Try Water Joe.
No taste or odor, just good clean caffeine.
 
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