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(News.com.au)   Look a snake. How hard can this Steve Irwin thing be ... AAAAAAAARGH   (news.com.au) divider line 90
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20938 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2009 at 9:15 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-03-18 05:33:34 PM  
FTA: "When I tried to help him, he went for me. I know why now, but..."

I know why NOW? NOW you understand that helping an injured snake may lead to him biting the f*ck out of you?

Dumbass.
 
2009-03-18 05:47:07 PM  
I once tried to move a giant snapping turtle out of the road on the back end of a hairpin turn on a country road.
This bastard was probably 75lbs of mean. I tried to shoo him off the road because someone was going to run him over.. nope.. he turned towards me and started running, slowly, mouth agape.

I then tried to circle around him, no luck, he was pissed and wanted to be left to sun on the warm pavement.

I then told myself to not help animals off the road.

I wouldn't dare help a snake.. especially one in Australia. Isn't' everything there venomous or poisonous? geesh
 
2009-03-18 05:48:29 PM  
SNAAAAAAAAKE!
IT'S A SNAKE!
 
2009-03-18 05:49:47 PM  
He looks like a bright one.
 
2009-03-18 05:51:06 PM  
I hate snakes.
 
2009-03-18 06:07:39 PM  
New snake! New snake!...

/shirling reference
 
2009-03-18 07:19:29 PM  
I like animals and critters, but god damn, I would not get close to lots of them. Especially snakes. If I saw a snake that was dying I'd have to be like, "So long, buddy. Sorry you're going to die, but I know if I try to help you you're going to bite me."

How much sense does that take?

I grew up In Montana where there are lots of rattlesnakes. From an early age, when hiking through the wilderness, I was taught to be aware of where you're headed, listen carefully, and look several steps in front of you and out to the sides. If you see or hear a rattler, get the fark back, spot the snake, and revise your course to walk well out of its way.

Picking up dangerous snakes is just not something we did.
 
2009-03-18 07:28:51 PM  
submitter: How hard can this Steve Irwin thing be

Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.
 
2009-03-18 08:03:29 PM  
GreenAdder: submitter: How hard can this Steve Irwin thing be

Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.


niiiiiiice
 
2009-03-18 08:27:14 PM  
GreenAdder: Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.

Bravo.
You've won your own intarweb. With sprinkles and a pony.
 
2009-03-18 08:36:51 PM  
GreenAdder: Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.

I've got nothing that can top that, so I'll just post this instead:

img207.imageshack.us
 
2009-03-18 09:18:32 PM  
85-90% of fatal snake bites involve alcohol.

The snake is usually not the one that has been drinking.
 
2009-03-18 09:20:00 PM  
img12.imageshack.us
 
2009-03-18 09:20:20 PM  
GAT_00

I've no idea WTF is going on there, but I can't stop laughing at it.
 
2009-03-18 09:21:29 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Argh, a snake, it's a snake!
/Badger badger badger
//Mushroom
 
2009-03-18 09:22:17 PM  
This man made one catastrophic mistake - he did not, in fact, place his thumb in the animal's butthole. I've been informed this is a foolproof safety measure.
 
2009-03-18 09:23:31 PM  
THIS JUST IN: Injured animals often bite their would-be rescuers!

Because they're injured, you know. And, well, animals.
 
2009-03-18 09:24:00 PM  
I once say next to a antivenom salesman on a flight across the US. I was informed that the current glut of Steve Irwin style "grab the crawlie" shows were a positive boon to business.

/these are wild animals, people. They'll leave you alone if you do the same
 
2009-03-18 09:25:53 PM  
Darwin: Missed another one, Damn!
 
2009-03-18 09:27:00 PM  
Dr.Knockboots: I once tried to move a giant snapping turtle out of the road on the back end of a hairpin turn on a country road.
This bastard was probably 75lbs of mean. I tried to shoo him off the road because someone was going to run him over.. nope.. he turned towards me and started running, slowly, mouth agape.

I then tried to circle around him, no luck, he was pissed and wanted to be left to sun on the warm pavement.

I then told myself to not help animals off the road.

I wouldn't dare help a snake.. especially one in Australia. Isn't' everything there venomous or poisonous? geesh


Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.
 
2009-03-18 09:27:11 PM  
GreenAdder: submitter: How hard can this Steve Irwin thing be

Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.


heh. well even Steve couldn't keep it up forever. Or even a natural human lifespan.
 
2009-03-18 09:27:21 PM  
Just gotta know how to handle a snake.
 
2009-03-18 09:28:46 PM  
He took a DDT first, right? Otherwise no excuse.

www.ugo.com
 
2009-03-18 09:28:48 PM  
i66.photobucket.com

I feel like this belongs here.

/not mine
//not sure where I got it
 
2009-03-18 09:29:07 PM  
GreenAdder:
Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.




Bravo my good man,
consider that line stolen.
 
2009-03-18 09:29:35 PM  
First thing I thought of after reading the story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFQ6zZ5aID4

/sorry about my lack of html skills.
 
2009-03-18 09:29:38 PM  
12.fl.oz.: Dr.Knockboots: I once tried to move a giant snapping turtle out of the road on the back end of a hairpin turn on a country road.
This bastard was probably 75lbs of mean. I tried to shoo him off the road because someone was going to run him over.. nope.. he turned towards me and started running, slowly, mouth agape.

I then tried to circle around him, no luck, he was pissed and wanted to be left to sun on the warm pavement.

I then told myself to not help animals off the road.

I wouldn't dare help a snake.. especially one in Australia. Isn't' everything there venomous or poisonous? geesh

Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.


There are snapping turtles in Illinois?
 
2009-03-18 09:31:19 PM  
The Honey Badger gives Malcolm Biggs a quick look of thorough disdain, then goes back to banging Sarah Connor in the ass while chewing on a puff adder...
 
2009-03-18 09:33:54 PM  
12.fl.oz. :Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.


//22? thats it? They can be up to 75lbs. I caught one in Iowa that weighed 50lbs. It was 20inches across And almost 10 inches high. AND the only reason he was brought to shore was not because he was hooked, it was because he wouldnt let go of my lure. my hands went no where near that suckers mouth.
 
2009-03-18 09:38:06 PM  
What no "Crikeys" yet?
 
2009-03-18 09:40:11 PM  
sunbird: I once say next to a antivenom salesman on a flight across the US.

Antivenin.
 
2009-03-18 09:41:52 PM  
GAT_00: GreenAdder: Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.

I've got nothing that can top that, so I'll just post this instead:


Is that Patrick Stewart???
 
2009-03-18 09:43:55 PM  
Boritom: GreenAdder: submitter: How hard can this Steve Irwin thing be

Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.


Especially appropriate use of fellow RIP-Aussie Heath!
I grew up in the desert, learned same snake-avoiding advice as poster from Montana. Nice that people want to help animals, but do everyone (except Darwin) a favor and call Animal Control instead.
 
2009-03-18 09:45:23 PM  
Snake?
Snake?!

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!

/Oh wait he had a ration on him, he's fine.
 
2009-03-18 09:47:31 PM  
BLEMDAR: 12.fl.oz. :Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.

//22? thats it? They can be up to 75lbs. I caught one in Iowa that weighed 50lbs. It was 20inches across And almost 10 inches high. AND the only reason he was brought to shore was not because he was hooked, it was because he wouldnt let go of my lure. my hands went no where near that suckers mouth.


If it did weigh that much then it about had to be an alligator snapping turtle. I don't think common snappers get that big.
 
2009-03-18 09:49:38 PM  
dennysgod: GAT_00: GreenAdder: Now, that's not funny. Steve Irwin never hurt anybody. And he died just the way that he lived. With animals in his heart.

I've got nothing that can top that, so I'll just post this instead:

Is that Patrick Stewart???


Aye and it looks like one of Cyriak's animations. He's got some truly messed up creative abilities...
img25.imageshack.usimg7.imageshack.us
 
2009-03-18 09:50:59 PM  
gwendolyyyn: I feel like this belongs here.

/not mine
//not sure where I got it


My sister was stung on the lower lips (yes there), by a scorpion. She was drying off after a shower and it was obviously on the towel. She was bow legged for a week.
 
2009-03-18 09:51:27 PM  
BLEMDAR: 12.fl.oz. :Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.

//22? thats it? They can be up to 75lbs. I caught one in Iowa that weighed 50lbs. It was 20inches across And almost 10 inches high. AND the only reason he was brought to shore was not because he was hooked, it was because he wouldnt let go of my lure. my hands went no where near that suckers mouth.


Forgot to add this. Link (new window)
 
2009-03-18 09:51:34 PM  
peachpicker: The Honey Badger gives Malcolm Biggs a quick look of thorough disdain, then goes back to banging Sarah Connor in the ass while chewing on a puff adder...

img8.imageshack.us

Honey badgers - ARE YOU READY TO UNLEASH THE FUC-ING FURY?
 
2009-03-18 09:53:09 PM  
takesthecake: gwendolyyyn: I feel like this belongs here.

/not mine
//not sure where I got it

My sister was stung on the lower lips (yes there), by a scorpion. She was drying off after a shower and it was obviously on the towel. She was bow legged for a week.


Well, at least the scorpion got lucky.
 
2009-03-18 09:55:43 PM  
If more people would remember this little exchange:

Q:What do you know about _______?

A:I know enough not to fool with them.


Things like this wouldn't happen.
 
2009-03-18 09:57:24 PM  
shiat Bindi could have done a better job...

/Amature or however they spell it down under
 
2009-03-18 10:16:06 PM  
Let me guess, PETA member?

/Or Aussie equivalent
 
2009-03-18 10:16:36 PM  
Point of fact: the Steve Irwin thing didn't work out for Steve Irwin either.
 
2009-03-18 10:17:43 PM  
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude

What? No Yahoo Serious?
 
2009-03-18 10:32:18 PM  
Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, biatch, you knew I was a snake."
 
2009-03-18 10:36:48 PM  
12.fl.oz.: Dr.Knockboots: I once tried to move a giant snapping turtle out of the road on the back end of a hairpin turn on a country road.
This bastard was probably 75lbs of mean. I tried to shoo him off the road because someone was going to run him over.. nope.. he turned towards me and started running, slowly, mouth agape.

I then tried to circle around him, no luck, he was pissed and wanted to be left to sun on the warm pavement.

I then told myself to not help animals off the road.

I wouldn't dare help a snake.. especially one in Australia. Isn't' everything there venomous or poisonous? geesh

Should have kept the turtle. Snappers are some good eating. We usually get them through the ice and not off the road though.

Are you sure it was that big? About 22 pounds is the biggest we have got.


I caught 2 bigass snappers from out of our lake 20+ years ago. A family friend had a smoker; he was gonna do 'em up for us. He took them home, put 'em in a 55 gallon drum, and sometime in the night his dumbass Chocolate Lab tipped it over and they escaped. Aarrgghh...
 
2009-03-18 10:38:22 PM  
It's almost as if someone should've put "Don't ever f***ing try this at home" in 72 font and stapled it to his forehead
 
2009-03-18 10:50:07 PM  
John Buck 41 writes: dumbass Chocolate Lab

That is redundant.
 
2009-03-18 10:50:34 PM  
12.fl.oz.:
Forgot to add this. Link (new window)


Awesome. Faiw!!!
 
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