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(Albany times union)   Florida couple suing Mc Donalds. their Marriage was "damaged" by a poorly prepared Bagel.   ( divider line 234
    More: Asinine  
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26267 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2003 at 2:59 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

234 Comments   (+0 »)

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2003-02-02 02:23:10 PM  
Let this be a lesson to all of you to NEVER underestimate the awesome destructive force that is the BAGEL! *ominous music*
2003-02-02 02:34:04 PM  
When the fark did McDonald's start serving bagels?
2003-02-02 03:02:14 PM  
"It's a bagel," she said.
Here comes Ackbar.....
2003-02-02 03:02:22 PM  
*attaches pointless tag*
2003-02-02 03:03:16 PM  
At least it wasn't a Chinese fighting muffin. A friend of mine once took a Chinese fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.
2003-02-02 03:03:36 PM  
2003-02-02 03:04:43 PM  
A bagel broke up my last marriage too.
2003-02-02 03:04:47 PM  
I wish McDonalds would counter-sue them for about 5 *BILLION* dollars and win, setting an example for slobs who think they can sue their way to financial freedom. Or something.
2003-02-02 03:04:49 PM  
Why in the Fark does this post not have the "Florida" tag that it so desperately needs?
2003-02-02 03:04:55 PM  
On the issue of loss of consortium... who wants a man with bloody broken teeth to go 'downtown?'
2003-02-02 03:05:10 PM  
When the fark did McDonald's start serving bagels?

It's part of their new McKosher menu.
Add a nice piece of whitefish for the "Fillet of Oiy Vay"
2003-02-02 03:05:21 PM  
That reminds me of the time when I bit into a bagel and broke my teeth and bridgework. Oh no, wait, no it doesn't. That reminds me of the time when I was a complete farking idiot waste of space, and should have succumbed to Darwinism.
2003-02-02 03:06:40 PM  
Lucky he wasn't a Real Ninja with Ultimate Fighting Power, he would have flipped out and killed everybody in the restaurant before playing some really hot guitar.
2003-02-02 03:06:50 PM  
Loss of consortium is something that lawyers ALWAYS attach to any lawsuit these days. Its not like these people are suing because their marriage was ruined. The lawyer asks 20 question and if the "incident" has caused stress of any kind, then they say "loss of consortium".

If a bagel truly ruined their marriage, then we were probably doing something kinky with it.
2003-02-02 03:07:13 PM  
2003-02-02 03:08:04 PM  
"Fillet of Oiy Vay"

Now that's funny.
2003-02-02 03:08:17 PM  
God bless america for the ability and will to sue everybody and everything.
2003-02-02 03:08:19 PM  
I know it's not like everyone MUST KNOW McDonalds' menu items like they're part of that cool-ass menu song that McD's put out a while back, but come on! Who doesn't know that they have bagel sandwiches?

Mmmm...the best one (otherwise known as the only good one)
2003-02-02 03:08:36 PM  
I am damaged by that poorly prepared headline.
2003-02-02 03:09:21 PM  
Oh my god Stymie! :P:P:P
2003-02-02 03:09:38 PM  
2003-02-02 03:11:07 PM  
Next to the absolutely hideous weener link posted earlier this morning. This came in a very close second to making me blow chunks over my monitor.

Thank you Symie for that image of a male specimine.
2003-02-02 03:12:07 PM  
I was having lunch with a friend one and he found a piece of wire in his hamburger. Really stiff wire, all rusty about a half inch long.

So he asks me if he has a lawsuit, and I say "sure nick, but you have to swallow the wire."

He decided against it and graciously accepted a free lunch from the restaurant.
2003-02-02 03:12:12 PM  
agreed, Woodstock

2003-02-02 03:12:48 PM  
That guy had to have some truly Deliverance-style teeth in the first place for them to have been busted up by a freakin bagel.
Why wasnt his grotesque mouth a problem earlier in the marriage?
2003-02-02 03:15:53 PM  
What they aren't saying is that the woman liked getting her clit bit during oral sex, and now that can't happen since the husband lost his teeth. She should sue for loss of services.

After all, a man did that when his wife burnt her lips on a "hot pickle" at Burger King.

/very perverted today.
2003-02-02 03:17:58 PM  
In other news..Lender's Bagels scraps it's idea for the new "Gravel" flavor. Back to the drawing board.
2003-02-02 03:18:01 PM  
Wydok-hot pickle-GoodGod, man, are you serious?
2003-02-02 03:19:35 PM  
Tracey Johnstone is my hero(ine)

"It's a bagel," she said.

Yep. That about sums it up.
2003-02-02 03:19:43 PM  

I was having lunch with a friend one and he found a piece of wire in his hamburger. Really stiff wire, all rusty about a half inch long.

I once found a bone in a Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's. The farkwit behind the counter said "It's not supposed to be boneless." Then I asked for the farkwit's manager and got a free lunch.

I can at least sort of understand where the bone would come from. But wire in hamburger?
2003-02-02 03:20:02 PM  
"The suit alleges the wife 'lost the care, comfort, consortium and society of her husband.'"

Uh, maybe if his freaking head exploded when he bit into the bagel. The guy probably had a pre-existing condition and wanted to hit up McDonald's for his dental work.

2003-02-02 03:21:24 PM  
02-02-03 03:04:47 PM Shaggie
I wish McDonalds would counter-sue them for about 5 *BILLION* dollars and win, setting an example for slobs who think they can sue their way to financial freedom. Or something.

Financial freedom? They want $15,000, and I think they stand a very good chance of at least getting their medical bills comped.

Someone chimes in with a misunderstanding of the McDonald's coffee lawsuit in 5...4...3...
2003-02-02 03:22:21 PM  
i have lost the society of my husband? nice one biatch.
2003-02-02 03:22:29 PM  

Jeebus H. Kriste I hate this kind of sh|t.
2003-02-02 03:22:35 PM  
Same thing with the bone happened to me, except with a can of chunky soup. Only thing is, the bone was two inches long and spiked like a damn 12th century mace.
2003-02-02 03:22:58 PM  
i am Mystified by the Capitalization in that Headline.
2003-02-02 03:23:43 PM  

This one's for you...

2003-02-02 03:24:14 PM  
Sir, we are all out of that menu item. Would you like to take a bite of the display?
2003-02-02 03:24:31 PM  
Hahaha, its funny because it's true
2003-02-02 03:24:40 PM  

Thank you for that horrid site. I should have just hit "back" when I heard the music.

That Bagel dude is one wierd fark. I have no idea why I decided to delve deeper into that site, but I did. Anyone happen to catch pictures of Jonathan's AKA "Bagel's" wedding? Looks like something out of the freaking rennasiance festival.
2003-02-02 03:25:46 PM  
"The guy probably had a pre-existing condition and wanted to hit up McDonald's for his dental work."

Where's an "OBVIOUS" tagwhen you need one :P
2003-02-02 03:26:55 PM  
Thanks to TheBookPolice's link, I will be filing a class action lawsuit against McDonald's for misrepresentation. No sandwich I've bought has ever looked like that. Jump on the bandwagon now. We can sue our way to financial freedom.
2003-02-02 03:26:56 PM  
My home town on fark. I swear when i left 10 yrs ago my IQ skyrocketed.

/hides in seattle
2003-02-02 03:28:12 PM  
I think that maybe since I used to work at McDonald's I should be able to sue them for something...I mean, I do want lots of free money after all. Maybe I can sue them for millions of dollars just cause I want the money. Hell, it works for somepeople.
2003-02-02 03:28:21 PM  
"As Digitally Photographed By
David (Excalibear) Swagerty"

2003-02-02 03:28:40 PM  
Well I'm not going to tell my "live bee in a can of Coca Cola" story again, because nobody ever believes it anyway.

But the fact is: I bought the can, I felt something squirming around in my mouth, I spit it out and it was a LIVE caramel colored bee.

Damn, I guess I just did tell it again.
2003-02-02 03:28:47 PM  
7forty7-Happen to catch a glimpse of Socrates in the yellow mumu?
2003-02-02 03:29:39 PM  
This is just as bad as the group of people who sued McDonalds becuase they got fat.
2003-02-02 03:30:33 PM  
Wydok-hot pickle-GoodGod, man, are you serious?

I'll have to find the link, but there was some story about a slice of pickle on a hamburger being too hot and it burnt a woman. I'll start googling now. Hell, it was probably on fark somewhere along the line too.
2003-02-02 03:31:26 PM  
Ya know. This is exactly why I am going into law. I want to fight stupidity like this. There should be some sort of penalty that you have to pay if you actually lose this case. Maybe that would make these asshats think twice before they file these bogus claims and USE the court systems.
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