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(Some Guy)   Archaeologists unearth grave of Italian woman buried with a brick in her mouth, meaning she was either a vampire or someone's mother-in-law   (eternallycool.net) divider line
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4999 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Mar 2009 at 12:42 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-03-09 12:16:33 PM  
A brick? Who kills a vampire with a brick? Honestly.
 
2009-03-09 12:37:01 PM  
Perhaps she was so furiously eating popcorn that she hadn't realized that she'd reached her hand into the Queen of England's handbag...
 
2009-03-09 12:48:06 PM  
There's a difference?
 
2009-03-09 12:50:08 PM  

mamoru: Perhaps she was so furiously eating popcorn that she hadn't realized that she'd reached her hand into the Queen of England's handbag...


Ciao.
 
2009-03-09 12:50:37 PM  
She's a brick----mouth
Mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----mouth
 
2009-03-09 01:00:57 PM  
Why a brick through the mouth? It seems that during the plague, it was commonly believed that the disease was spread by female vampires.

Of course. That makes perfect sense and explains the brick.
 
2009-03-09 01:08:15 PM  

Handsome B. Wonderful: There's a difference?


WIN
 
2009-03-09 01:12:21 PM  
How they(gravediggers, ancestors in general) were able to come up with such retardation is beyond me, this is why I sneer at people who believe in ghosts, bigfoot, michael Jackson etc..
 
2009-03-09 01:13:25 PM  
OM NOM NOM.
 
2009-03-09 01:13:59 PM  
Using bricks to kill vampires would certainly change a lot of horror movies.
 
2009-03-09 01:15:56 PM  

lordargent: She's a brick----mouth
Mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----mouth


I just laughed for about a minute. Thanks!
 
2009-03-09 01:18:18 PM  
It's her Mattone Chops.
 
2009-03-09 01:18:22 PM  
This is Italy after all, so it isn't like everybody didn't know that a sharpened wooden stke was the right way to kill a vampire, its just that the Brickhandlers and Bricklayers local told the Cemetary owners that they'd be VERY disppointed if he didn't add the Brick -in-the Mouth routine as an extra-precaution, and oh, by the way, since this was gonna be a union shop, they could only use special bricks, of which a local legitimate businessman was the only supplier.
 
2009-03-09 01:19:27 PM  

Handsome B. Wonderful: There's a difference?


It's OK to kill vampires.
 
2009-03-09 01:20:23 PM  

prndandrdo1: How they(gravediggers, ancestors in general) were able to come up with such retardation is beyond me, this is why I sneer at people who believe in ghosts, bigfoot, michael Jackson etc..


Good point. I'm sure it would be perfectly obvious to you that the plague was spread by fleas and rats had you lived back then.
 
2009-03-09 01:20:24 PM  
So I'm picturing a dying Italian woman, asking her husband to remain chaste after she is gone. She thought he said "Suck my brick!"
 
2009-03-09 01:21:44 PM  
Well, you try biting someone in the neck or just eating a cheeseburger with brick in your mouth.
 
2009-03-09 01:23:44 PM  
Was she glittery?
 
2009-03-09 01:24:07 PM  
How do they know the brick was not meant to ward off grave robbing tigers? & it looks like it worked pretty darn well!
 
2009-03-09 01:26:32 PM  
I think that if you're going to believe in dead people rising from the grave to sustain un-natural half-lives sucking the blood of the living, then shoving a brick in their mouth in the hope that it would stop them from feeding on the graves of nearby plague victims is wishful thinking.
 
2009-03-09 01:32:02 PM  
A long time ago, right after I left high school, I went backpacking across Europe. I walking across Yugoslavia (Tito had the car that weekend) when I came across a gathering at a crossroads.
Some villagers had caught themselves a child molestor and they had hung him with a makeshift gallows that had been built over the crossroads. By the time I had gotten there, the villagers had cut the perp down and some of them had started digging a deep, deep hole in the middle of said crossroads. The other villagers were making sure that their bad guy was going to stay in the hole.
They had cut off his head and his limbs and split his chest open to pull out his heart. Some of the villagers were stuffing his face full of garlic bulbs while some of others were wrapping his body in thorny vines. The villages then threw the body into an oversized pine coffin that was also full of garlic and wild roses. Before they started to bury the guy, they flipped the coffin over so the body was lying face down. But it wasn't over yet.
As soon as the hole was filled, the villagers build a bonfire over the perp's grave and as soon as they got the fire good and roaring, they threw an iron cauldron with the molestor's heart into the fire so as to burn the thing into ash.
I asked some Yugoslavian policemen who were standing by, what the heck was going on? They told me that the villagers were afraid that this child molestor was going to come back as a vampire. I asked them how often did this happen? They told me that they were running out of crossroads.
 
2009-03-09 01:33:35 PM  

prndandrdo1: How they(gravediggers, ancestors in general) were able to come up with such retardation is beyond me, this is why I sneer at people who believe in ghosts, bigfoot, michael Jackson etc..


Well, keep in mind that back then, people were clueless about disease, prevention, and the natural progression of decomposition. They didn't understand that blood on the mouth or hair and nails that appear to grow after death is just a stage in decomposition. The church was a heavy presence in their lives. Autopsies were unheard of and it was unchristian to even touch a dead body, especially a woman's.
I dug up some ancient Romans who had placed nails in pottery to ward off evil spirits...and this cemetery dated back to Augustus.
//Anyway, this is really cool and somebody please put me in touch with this archaeologist so I can kiss his ass and work with him!!!
 
2009-03-09 01:34:11 PM  
Ancient vampires?

More like Ancient 2 girls 1 cup. didn't think people bricked in each others mouths back then.
 
2009-03-09 01:44:10 PM  
I do keep that in mind except there were scientists and there was knowledge of how decomposition and disease works dating back to the egyptians blahblah, but my point is that it all seems like a really hilarious south park plotline.. And I apologize If I offended ghosthunters fans
 
2009-03-09 01:45:26 PM  
Sounds like somebody found a typo in the handbook.

You weren't supposed to bury your brick in her mouth until she choked.
 
2009-03-09 01:47:59 PM  
I can think of quite a number of people whose mouths I'd like to cram a brick into before they were buried. Alive.
 
2009-03-09 01:55:39 PM  
Wanted for questioning:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2009-03-09 01:57:08 PM  
I'm recommending this book to anyone who finds this subject fascinating...and a little morbid.

Vampires, Burial, and Death: Folklore and Reality by: Paul Barber
 
2009-03-09 02:03:10 PM  
Well, it worked, didn't it? She was not able to consume the other dead people and obviously did not rise from the grave. Empirical evidence. It's not just for breakfast anymore!

And by the way, I'd totally tap some of that ass.

// Actually, got nuthin'.
 
2009-03-09 02:11:29 PM  
Once back in college I tried to "brick" in someone's mouth too
 
2009-03-09 02:22:35 PM  
After having just attened a horrid reharsal dinner with my sister's future mother-in-law, I have discovered a new-found appreciation for the 'brick and mortar' method of shutting up shrill old harpies.

I wonder if it's too late to return my IKEA gift card and get them a cask of amontillado instead.
 
2009-03-09 02:25:50 PM  
Notice, that they did not in a fit of scientific pique remove said brick from Vampirella's mouth.
 
2009-03-09 02:36:12 PM  

Wizzin: Using bricks to kill vampires would certainly change a lot of horror movies.


Actually, speaking of changing movies, based on the folklore I'd heard, a wooden stake through the heart only pins the vampire in place: to actually kill it, you have to decapitate it and put garlic in its mouth, or whatever. Anyway, I would just LOVE to see a vampire movie with a climax where the intrepid heroes sneak into the vampire-infested castle/mansion/crypt, stake the master vampire, turn to go, and... hear him laughing. Or have him attack suddenly with a scare chord. Or whatever. But just the idea of a human-shaped being laughing at you while pinned down with a stake through the heart... that's something I wanna see. It'd be creepy as fark.

It'd be hilarious if the brick-through-the-mouth technique was the only one that worked, because who the hell has ever heard of it? (Besides us, anyway.)
 
2009-03-09 02:37:52 PM  

HAL_lives: Notice, that they did not in a fit of scientific pique remove said brick from Vampirella's mouth.


I would.
 
2009-03-09 02:39:01 PM  
The Maxillofacial of Amontillado?
 
2009-03-09 02:44:46 PM  
Picture of one of the lady's descendents:

[image from watchingpushingdaisies.com too old to be available]

/Dreams of Kristin Chenowith swallowing my.... fist....
 
2009-03-09 03:04:50 PM  
after she ate it, she'll shiat bricks.
 
2009-03-09 03:05:50 PM  
That article was so annoying. It repeated everything it said twice.

It would say something once, and then just repeat that thought in a slightly reworded way. Almost like it was just rewording the exact same thing it just said.

Talk about being redundant, the whole article just said the same thing multiple times in order to make it longer. I think I would have appreciated the article a bit more if they didn't repeat the same thing over and over again. Like how they'd say something once, and then just say it again in a different way.
 
2009-03-09 03:22:12 PM  

Dissociater: That article was so annoying. It repeated everything it said twice.

It would say something once, and then just repeat that thought in a slightly reworded way. Almost like it was just rewording the exact same thing it just said.

Talk about being redundant, the whole article just said the same thing multiple times in order to make it longer. I think I would have appreciated the article a bit more if they didn't repeat the same thing over and over again. Like how they'd say something once, and then just say it again in a different way.

 
2009-03-09 03:33:58 PM  

wiredroach: Dissociater: That article was so annoying. It repeated everything it said twice.

It would say something once, and then just repeat that thought in a slightly reworded way. Almost like it was just rewording the exact same thing it just said.

Talk about being redundant, the whole article just said the same thing multiple times in order to make it longer. I think I would have appreciated the article a bit more if they didn't repeat the same thing over and over again. Like how they'd say something once, and then just say it again in a different way.


This
 
2009-03-09 03:37:19 PM  

Dissociater: That article was so annoying. It repeated everything it said twice.

It would say something once, and then just repeat that thought in a slightly reworded way. Almost like it was just rewording the exact same thing it just said.

Talk about being redundant, the whole article just said the same thing multiple times in order to make it longer. I think I would have appreciated the article a bit more if they didn't repeat the same thing over and over again. Like how they'd say something once, and then just say it again in a different way.


I see what you did there...

And then I took another look just to make sure.
 
2009-03-09 03:37:37 PM  
You start a conversation you cant even finish it.
Youre talkin a lot, but youre not sayin anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?
 
2009-03-09 03:37:43 PM  
They left out the partial poem found on the grave marker:

Here lies my dear wife Fiora,
nothing hard would be here while she was alive, she swore-a.
For in her mouth you will find a brick,
a shame on her for not wetting my...
 
2009-03-09 04:13:38 PM  
Doesn't have vampiric teeth.
 
2009-03-09 04:17:06 PM  
I'm mortarfied by this.
 
2009-03-09 04:18:26 PM  
I think I'd be pretty happy to jump on anything even slightly out of the ordinary if I spent my days sifting through mass graves to.
 
2009-03-09 04:25:33 PM  

I_C_Weener: A brick? Who kills a vampire with a brick? Honestly.


over in one.


/i had a girlfriend who wanted me to brick in her mouth once
 
2009-03-09 04:51:40 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I'm mortarfied by this.


Questo!

/see what I did there?
 
2009-03-09 05:17:00 PM  

Veeoh: TheShavingofOccam123: I'm mortarfied by this.

Questo!

/see what I did there?


Ho visto quello che hai fatto ci!
 
2009-03-09 10:58:36 PM  
Please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna, please be Madonna.


/crap
 
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