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(Washington Post)   Are you eligible for one of the new federal mortgage relief programs? Or are you just going to have to suck it? Take this brief interactive quiz   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 335
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20087 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2009 at 5:46 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-03-04 03:28:57 PM
Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.
 
2009-03-04 03:38:27 PM
Well, let's take the quiz...

Homeowner, 15 year note @ 5.34%...refi might not be the best choice so let's go with modification...

Primary residence, good, payment is around 10% of gross, BZZZZZT! Sorry, you don't qualify for this program!



BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

I feel your pain.
 
2009-03-04 03:39:33 PM
I had an interesting conversation at the bank yesterday. I was there to make a deposit, and this guy was applying for a loan. "Watch out," I said to him. "You might get what you're after." Then he asked me who I was. I said, "I'm cool, baby. Strange, but not a stranger. I'm an ordinary guy. I just don't want to see you burning down the house."

He looked confused, and that's when the loan officer stood up. "Hold tight," he said. "Wait 'til the party's over. Hold tight, because we're in for nasty weather. There has got to be a way."

"Without burning down the house?" the customer asked.

"Here's your ticket," said the loan officer, and pushed the application toward him. "Pack your bag."

"No way," I said, and snatched the application. "It's time for jumpin' overboard. Transportation is here." I pointed to my car outside. "Its close enough but not too far. Maybe you know where you are?"

"You're fightin' fire with fire," said the loan officer.

"No way," I said. "I'm all wet. I need a raincoat. You're nothing but shakedown thieves walking in broad daylight. You're burning at three hundred sixty five degrees. You're burning down the house."

"This house is out of the ordinary," he said. "That's right, I don't want to hurt nobody."

The customer looked at me. "Some things sure can sweep me off my feet," he said. "But I don't want to be burning down the house."

"Look," I said. "You got no visible means of support. You have not seen nothing yet. Everything's stuck together. I don't know what you expect from staring into the TV set."

"You're fighting fire with fire," said the loan officer.

"And you're burning down the house," I said.
 
2009-03-04 03:39:53 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

THIS.

There's also the little detail that I don't even live in the US, but TFA didn't seem to think it mattered.
 
2009-03-04 03:45:06 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

Not that there'll be a next time for me in the near future, since I'm hovering near the underwater point... (5 years in, 20% down)...
 
2009-03-04 03:59:42 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

Yeah, I found out I'm not eligible to qualify because my loan isn't guaranteed or owned by Fannie or Freddie, and I'm not paying 31% of my gross income to my mortgage.

Sucks to be responsible, but this move should mortgage rates for those of us who did the right thing.
 
2009-03-04 04:13:16 PM
Don't listen to the Talking Heads above me.
 
2009-03-04 04:15:14 PM
The Icelander: Sucks to be responsible, but this move should mortgage rates for those of us who did the right thing.

If you're really lucky the US government will accidentally your mortgage rate.
 
2009-03-04 04:28:11 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

I did too, but only 4 years ago and thanks to the market, i have less than 20% equity. I fully intend on taking advantage of the refinancing part of the plan if I am actually eligible (according to the interactive quiz, I'm 'probably eligible') and get my interest rate lowered. We're not behind and never have been, but the interest we could save would be a *big* help to our family, especially with me going back to school.
 
2009-03-04 04:31:38 PM
Mortgages have to be guaranteed or owned by the government. You mean the government is seeking to not end up with a bigger problem? And this is a bad thing? *facepalm*
 
2009-03-04 04:34:12 PM
WhyteRaven74: Mortgages have to be guaranteed or owned by the government

gah add "to qualify" at the end of that
 
2009-03-04 04:35:48 PM
BillCo: I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage.

Yes, damn those people who haven't missed a payment but are under a current equity point. And to hell with someone whose income has dropped.
 
2009-03-04 04:39:13 PM
WhyteRaven74: Yes, damn those people who haven't missed a payment but are under a current equity point. And to hell with someone whose income has dropped.

The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
 
2009-03-04 04:41:29 PM
WhyteRaven74: Yes, damn those people who haven't missed a payment but are under a current equity point. And to hell with someone whose income has dropped.

I can understand that those people do need help, and didn't do anything wrong.

Besides, I'd rather give out too much aid than see someone get thrown out of their home who doesn't deserve it.
 
2009-03-04 05:13:17 PM
As a renter let me say this...FARK YOU HOMEOWNERS! Where the hell is my goddamn bailout!
 
2009-03-04 05:47:24 PM
Haha, I love renting.
 
2009-03-04 05:48:47 PM
I rented and all I got was this stupid depression.
 
2009-03-04 05:49:26 PM
Now I feel like a moron for renting, rather than buying a million dollar house that I couldn't afford. Damn the bad luck.
 
2009-03-04 05:49:42 PM
I don't see much difference one way or another. We're all boned.

You can pick who to be resentful of--I'm resentful of the entire Free Market deregulation bandwagon that began under Reagan. At the time, I didn't understand LBOs and junk bond arbitraging, but I instinctively didn't trust all that. Now we are all going to pay for an enormous orgy of default credit swaps and other unbelievably larcenous and usurious practices that should have been illegal, and the Powers that Be are telling us to blame some people who haven't been foreclosed on yet, and were probably told by their brokers that Housing Always Goes Up or some kind of goddam nonsense.

.
 
2009-03-04 05:50:10 PM
i was outed on the first round of questioning.


/farking elitist house owning bastards.
 
2009-03-04 05:50:19 PM
Pocket Ninja: ...


wat
 
2009-03-04 05:50:56 PM
I don't need assistance with my mortages because #1 is paid off in full and #2 is at 5.5% fixed and has been since I refi'd it after 9/11. It will be paid in full in 7 more years in a worst case, but will really be paid a lot sooner since I take money I used to invest in the market and now just invest in prepayments.

debt paydown = zero risk investing, FTW.

/this whole housing bubble thing is quite amusing to the people who didn't play.
 
2009-03-04 05:51:04 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

Did you even experiment with the quiz at all??

If you answer that you're not current on your mortgage then YOU DONT QUALIFY.

Which honestly doesn't make sense to me, but whatever.
 
2009-03-04 05:51:15 PM
No, I don't qualify either. But I think I'll take a page out of the Republican playbook and reduce my income so that my mortgage is 31% of my gross income.
 
2009-03-04 05:51:30 PM
I voted.

I win, right?
 
2009-03-04 05:52:15 PM
Hmmm... it turns out that since I took out a low 30 year fixed rate with good credit, put a sizable amount down, and live in the city in a small home where there was less of a bubble I will receive no help from the program.

/fark all you sponges
 
2009-03-04 05:52:16 PM
Yeah, I held out until interest rates and prices dropped so no bailout for me.
 
2009-03-04 05:52:51 PM
After taking that quiz, now my anus hurts.

/I believe I've been cornholed
//Thank you government for bailing out my stupid brethren

JC
 
2009-03-04 05:52:59 PM
peewinkle: I voted.

I win, right?


It depends on who you voted for.

If you voted for Sarah Palin then you will never be a winner.
 
2009-03-04 05:53:28 PM
Suck it, Gov. I just purchased a home today!
 
2009-03-04 05:53:44 PM
I live in a van by the river.
 
2009-03-04 05:54:03 PM
There's always this
i40.tinypic.com
 
2009-03-04 05:54:11 PM
I got shot down on question 1.

No renting bailout?!

um... hang on I can find a way to troll this, be back later.
 
2009-03-04 05:54:21 PM
To anyone that may be a Farker and qualify for this program due to you or your bank/broker knowing you would eventually end up over your head and default, your welcome.

Oh, and I'll be at work tomorrow making tax payments for the next time this happens in 2029.
 
2009-03-04 05:55:25 PM
JoeCowboy: After taking that quiz, now my anus hurts.

/I believe I've been cornholed
//Thank you government for bailing out my stupid brethren

JC


You feel like a chump because the government doesn't have to bail your ass out?

Have you ever been on unemployment? It's not fun at all. You might think it would be a nice vacation, taking government money and not working, but it royally sucks. Working for a living is definitely better for one's mental health.
 
2009-03-04 05:55:58 PM
Dancin_In_Anson: The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams


One of these days, I'm going to pay it back, pay it back
One of these days.

www.morethings.com
 
2009-03-04 05:56:27 PM
30 year loan in 2001.
6% interest.
Will make my last payment in 2011.

Of course, I also drive a 2001 Jeep and I want a new one.

I'm not buying crap until the house is paid off.
 
2009-03-04 05:57:07 PM
DistendedPendulusFrenulum: I don't see much difference one way or another. We're all boned.

You can pick who to be resentful of--I'm resentful of the entire Free Market deregulation bandwagon that began under Reagan. At the time, I didn't understand LBOs and junk bond arbitraging, but I instinctively didn't trust all that. Now we are all going to pay for an enormous orgy of default credit swaps and other unbelievably larcenous and usurious practices that should have been illegal, and the Powers that Be are telling us to blame some people who haven't been foreclosed on yet, and were probably told by their brokers that Housing Always Goes Up or some kind of goddam nonsense.

.




screw it. you can all hate me or ignore me but the ignormance at the top of this thread needs to be yelled at.
 
2009-03-04 05:57:14 PM
I paid cash for my house.

Imagine how I feel...
 
2009-03-04 05:58:28 PM
Pocket Ninja: I had an interesting conversation at the bank yesterday.

[deleted for brevity]

"And you're burning down the house," I said.


Dude, WTF was that? Save some for me.
 
2009-03-04 05:58:32 PM
BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

See, thats the thing...

Even if you bought a house within your mean, if every other people on your street are foreclosed, your house will be valued at less than you bought it, and you would be illegible for the some money.

This money is not only distributed to lazy bums, it's distributed to Americans that are down on their luck as well, would it be because something that happened to them, or something that happened to the neighborhood.
 
2009-03-04 05:58:37 PM
Darnit. A couple of years ago I almost took up a shady mortgage I'd have had trouble making. I knew I should have just gone for it and rolled the dice.
 
2009-03-04 05:59:43 PM
biggaryk: Now I feel like a moron for renting, rather than buying a million dollar house that I couldn't afford. Damn the bad luck.

Actually, if you look at that quiz, if you bought a million dollar house and are having problems you'd be SOL. Unless you managed to put something like 300K down so that your mortgage is below the Fannie/Freddie limits.
 
2009-03-04 05:59:43 PM
Dang! I didn't get past the first question!
 
2009-03-04 05:59:50 PM
damn it sucks to be the responsible one.
 
2009-03-04 06:00:04 PM
WhyteRaven74: BillCo: I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage.

Yes, damn those people who haven't missed a payment but are under a current equity point.


Why should I pay for them? So what if they are under their current equity point? Why do I take on the losses of others who invest?

And to hell with someone whose income has dropped.

Exactly. Since when does it become my problem to keep somebody in their house when they have income drops?

I'M A frkkING LIBERAL DUDE. I also rent. Anybody wanna help me?

Honestly, I'm WAY done with Republicans. With this law, I am never voting Democrat again either.
 
2009-03-04 06:00:34 PM
It's like a personal responsibility test, if you have some you fail.
 
2009-03-04 06:00:34 PM
31% of your income?!? That's insane. I had no extra money when it was 15%. I'm glad it's down to 8% now.
 
2009-03-04 06:00:36 PM
I did the calculator, I'm not eligible because I am not guaranteed by Fannie and Freddie. I had something else insightful to add but now I can't get the Talking Heads out of my skull. Back later when it comes to me...
 
2009-03-04 06:00:56 PM
Feltonl: damn it sucks to be the responsible one.

Don't worry, if your American, you'll do something stupid eventually.
 
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