Well, let's take the quiz...

Homeowner, 15 year note @ 5.34%...refi might not be the best choice so let's go with modification...

Primary residence, good, payment is around 10% of gross, BZZZZZT! Sorry, you don't qualify for this program!



BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

I feel your pain.

I had an interesting conversation at the bank yesterday. I was there to make a deposit, and this guy was applying for a loan. "Watch out," I said to him. "You might get what you're after." Then he asked me who I was. I said, "I'm cool, baby. Strange, but not a stranger. I'm an ordinary guy. I just don't want to see you burning down the house."

He looked confused, and that's when the loan officer stood up. "Hold tight," he said. "Wait 'til the party's over. Hold tight, because we're in for nasty weather. There has got to be a way."

"Without burning down the house?" the customer asked.

"Here's your ticket," said the loan officer, and pushed the application toward him. "Pack your bag."

"No way," I said, and snatched the application. "It's time for jumpin' overboard. Transportation is here." I pointed to my car outside. "Its close enough but not too far. Maybe you know where you are?"

"You're fightin' fire with fire," said the loan officer.

"No way," I said. "I'm all wet. I need a raincoat. You're nothing but shakedown thieves walking in broad daylight. You're burning at three hundred sixty five degrees. You're burning down the house."

"This house is out of the ordinary," he said. "That's right, I don't want to hurt nobody."

The customer looked at me. "Some things sure can sweep me off my feet," he said. "But I don't want to be burning down the house."

"Look," I said. "You got no visible means of support. You have not seen nothing yet. Everything's stuck together. I don't know what you expect from staring into the TV set."

"You're fighting fire with fire," said the loan officer.

"And you're burning down the house," I said.

BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

THIS.

There's also the little detail that I don't even live in the US, but TFA didn't seem to think it mattered.

BillCo: Unfortunately, I actually bought a house within my means and have faithfully paid my mortgage. I'll know better next time.

I did too, but only 4 years ago and thanks to the market, i have less than 20% equity. I fully intend on taking advantage of the refinancing part of the plan if I am actually eligible (according to the interactive quiz, I'm 'probably eligible') and get my interest rate lowered. We're not behind and never have been, but the interest we could save would be a *big* help to our family, especially with me going back to school.

WhyteRaven74: Yes, damn those people who haven't missed a payment but are under a current equity point. And to hell with someone whose income has dropped.

The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams

I rented and all I got was this stupid depression.

i was outed on the first round of questioning.


/farking elitist house owning bastards.

I don't need assistance with my mortages because #1 is paid off in full and #2 is at 5.5% fixed and has been since I refi'd it after 9/11. It will be paid in full in 7 more years in a worst case, but will really be paid a lot sooner since I take money I used to invest in the market and now just invest in prepayments.

debt paydown = zero risk investing, FTW.

/this whole housing bubble thing is quite amusing to the people who didn't play.

No, I don't qualify either. But I think I'll take a page out of the Republican playbook and reduce my income so that my mortgage is 31% of my gross income.

Yeah, I held out until interest rates and prices dropped so no bailout for me.

peewinkle: I voted.

I win, right?

It depends on who you voted for.

If you voted for Sarah Palin then you will never be a winner.

I live in a van by the river.

JoeCowboy: After taking that quiz, now my anus hurts.

/I believe I've been cornholed
//Thank you government for bailing out my stupid brethren

JC

You feel like a chump because the government doesn't have to bail your ass out?

Have you ever been on unemployment? It's not fun at all. You might think it would be a nice vacation, taking government money and not working, but it royally sucks. Working for a living is definitely better for one's mental health.

Pocket Ninja: I had an interesting conversation at the bank yesterday.

[deleted for brevity]

"And you're burning down the house," I said.

Dude, WTF was that? Save some for me.