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(The Sun)   If you thought British food was crappy before, you haven't read this   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 110
    More: Scary  
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18577 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2009 at 4:21 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-03-03 11:19:20 PM  
Hsving eaten often in the UK, I don't think I can bring myself to follow the link.

Could someone go in first and let me know if I need to take a barf bag with me?

I'm not saying I'm a coward. I'm saying a pudding shouldn't move. And I swear one did, last time I was in London. That's all I'm saying.
 
2009-03-03 11:44:25 PM  
wejash: Hsving eaten often in the UK, I don't think I can bring myself to follow the link.

Could someone go in first and let me know if I need to take a barf bag with me?

A large barf trash bag might be more appropriate.

/can't stop vomiting
 
2009-03-03 11:52:34 PM  
This man is crazier then the goddamn batman. Good lord.
 
2009-03-04 12:45:41 AM  
wejash: Hsving eaten often in the UK, I don't think I can bring myself to follow the link.

I lived in Dunoon for three and a half years, so I feel your pain. If this guy took a huge dump right in the food you'd be unable to tell the difference.
 
2009-03-04 02:39:17 AM  
One of the messages said: "The ants get out to every direction to get food, then they bring it back to Tesco and Asda.

img3.imageshack.us

And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords!
 
2009-03-04 04:24:08 AM  
I think the only thing worse than British food, is having to see British teeth.
 
2009-03-04 04:29:58 AM  
FTFA He then moved on to Waterstones bookstore in Cirencester where he sprayed the brown substance all over a toilet in the coffee shop. Staff noticed the smell [...]

Probably nobody reacted because they thought it was Worcester Sauce.
 
2009-03-04 04:31:34 AM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2009-03-04 04:31:47 AM  
The Sun is ThaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WTF?
 
2009-03-04 04:32:15 AM  
What the christ? I swear I submitted this same article, nearly word for word, and it was redlit about a month ago. Does The Sun just recycle articles?
 
2009-03-04 04:33:43 AM  
FTFA:"He was also found guilty of having an offensive weapon, namely a catapult with marbles. "

wait...what?
 
2009-03-04 04:36:39 AM  
By the way, when I read "spray-gun nut," I can't help but think of this. (NSFW banners)
 
2009-03-04 04:37:17 AM  
Monophtalmos: FTFA He then moved on to Waterstones bookstore in Cirencester where he sprayed the brown substance all over a toilet in the coffee shop. Staff noticed the smell [...]

Probably nobody reacted because they thought it was Worcester Sauce.


mmm... Worcestershire sauce, truly a king among condiments.
 
2009-03-04 04:39:55 AM  
WFern: What the christ? I swear I submitted this same article, nearly word for word, and it was redlit about a month ago. Does The Sun just recycle articles?

Yes

now sit back and watch as the populace who regard a big mac as 'food' mock a country they've never been to
 
2009-03-04 04:46:06 AM  
tarquinrainbowtrout: now sit back and watch as the populace who regard a big mac as 'food' mock a country they've never been to

America has lost all claim to culinary superiority over any country purely because they created aerosol cheese.
 
2009-03-04 04:49:16 AM  
Man this guy is at least three kinds of crazy.

FTFA:

Daifallah first visited the Air Balloon pub near Cheltenham cops were called after he asked a barmaid how much it would cost to rape her.


Calling her a whore?


"The ants get out to every direction to get food, then they bring it back to Tesco and Asda.

"If you poison those then you kill the ants."


LOLWUT?
 
UPS
2009-03-04 04:55:06 AM  
England is farked, it has gone completely to hell, all the good people left, and now even Jade Goody is leaving.
England is farked, stay away, go to Belgium instead.
 
2009-03-04 04:55:26 AM  
How much does it cost to rape you? That has got to be the all time most .... something.... pickup line I've ever read. The kind of guts it would take to try that is truly phenominal.
 
2009-03-04 05:02:17 AM  
"shoppers were locked in for public safety reasons while the source of the contaminant was traced."

Some crazy arse bastard fills a store with atomised faeces and they lock the store full of people in with it, literally breathing in the shiat.

That's some fine public safety there Lou...
 
2009-03-04 05:02:33 AM  
FAECES?
I know, I know.
 
2009-03-04 05:06:37 AM  
PersistantRash: How much does it cost to rape you? That has got to be the all time most .... something.... pickup line I've ever read. The kind of guts it would take to try that is truly phenominal.

It probably was a pick-up line; Sahnoun Daifallah? I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that with such a name, and that delightful attitude toward women, we have here yet another ambassador from the Religion of Peace.
 
2009-03-04 05:12:09 AM  
zzrhardy: "shoppers were locked in for public safety reasons while the source of the contaminant was traced."

Some crazy arse bastard fills a store with atomised faeces and they lock the store full of people in with it, literally breathing in the shiat.

That's some fine public safety there Lou...


Your post is full of fail.
 
2009-03-04 05:15:36 AM  
scarpered?

Every time I read a Sun link, I learn another cute British word.
 
2009-03-04 05:16:49 AM  
I love how they don't sugar coat it

"And then the nut unleashed the potent mixture at Tesco, Morrisons, Waterstones bookstore and a pub in Gloucs"

Wankers!
 
2009-03-04 05:23:12 AM  
My last stay in the UK was for about two months. I lost nearly twenty pounds. On my way back to the US in this post 9/11 security barage, a woman asked to see my passport and asked me if I had brought any food items with me to declare. I started laughing uncontrollably saying something like, "Bring food from England??? Are you farking kidding me? Have you ever eaten the farking food in England. Look at me, my clothes don't even fit me anymore." She looked like she was going to ask me something else, then just handed me back my passport and bid me a farewell.
 
2009-03-04 05:25:23 AM  
WFern: What the christ? I swear I submitted this same article, nearly word for word, and it was redlit about a month ago. Does The Sun just recycle articles?

He was found guilty today, the Scum would have reported when he was caught and again when he was charged and again when evidence was given. Anything to stir up a bit more moral outrage
 
2009-03-04 05:26:28 AM  
Loucifer: scarpered?

Every time I read a Sun link, I learn another cute British word.


Me mate and I was going down to the pub for some bubble and squeak, but he told me he was knackered. So I kicked him in the bollocks and scarpered with his swamp donkey while he skived offa school. Nuffink crazy.

/innit?
 
2009-03-04 05:35:58 AM  
"Spray-gun nut unleashed mess" I was slightly relieved to find out that it was only a pee/poo slurry the assailant was spraying about.

I'm inclined to believe he wore a turban and harbored an irrational hate for the west. The sun, showing great journalistic integrity, didn't mention his race or religion
 
2009-03-04 05:36:13 AM  
I dunno, I love British food...
 
2009-03-04 05:38:19 AM  
odisae: started laughing uncontrollably saying something like, "Bring food from England??? Are you farking kidding me? Have you ever eaten the farking food in England. Look at me, my clothes don't even fit me anymore." She looked like she was going to ask me something else, then just handed me back my passport and bid me a farewell.

rrrreally? well hows about the next time you're in 'engerland' you give the Angus Steak house on piccadilly circus a miss, as tempting as that voucher for a free starter and bottomless glass of fizzy-pop is, and join me for a slap up meal here, my treat.

/it's not 1945 anymore
 
2009-03-04 05:38:27 AM  
odisae: My last stay in the UK was for about two months. I lost nearly twenty pounds.
What was the problem? Too many salads?
 
2009-03-04 05:49:47 AM  
aagrajag: PersistantRash: How much does it cost to rape you? That has got to be the all time most .... something.... pickup line I've ever read. The kind of guts it would take to try that is truly phenominal.

It probably was a pick-up line; Sahnoun Daifallah? I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that with such a name, and that delightful attitude toward women, we have here yet another ambassador from the Religion of Peace.


I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest he is a seriously deranged person, and the religion of his parents is as irrelevant as the color of his socks.
 
2009-03-04 05:59:20 AM  
tarquinrainbowtrout: now sit back and watch as the populace who regard a big mac as 'food' mock a country they've never been to

THIS a brazilian times.

FTFA: "Sahnoun Daifallah also sprayed the slurry over children's books"

Faecesbook?
 
Ruz
2009-03-04 06:00:46 AM  
jwrw: odisae: My last stay in the UK was for about two months. I lost nearly twenty pounds.
What was the problem? Too many salads?


We don't serve fried cheese with everything.

Seriously, WTF were all you guys eating when you came over here? If you don't like 'English' food (although I'll wager you don't really have a clue what that is), any town of more than 30 people will probably have an Italian, a Chinese and an Indian restraunt. And our Indian restraunts are usually really good.
 
2009-03-04 06:01:48 AM  
astro716: aagrajag: PersistantRash: How much does it cost to rape you? That has got to be the all time most .... something.... pickup line I've ever read. The kind of guts it would take to try that is truly phenominal.

It probably was a pick-up line; Sahnoun Daifallah? I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that with such a name, and that delightful attitude toward women, we have here yet another ambassador from the Religion of Peace.

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest he is a seriously deranged person, and the religion of his parents is as irrelevant as the color of his socks.


Most religions marginalise the extreme crazies; others give them leadership positions.
 
UPS
2009-03-04 06:17:42 AM  
odisae: My last stay in the UK was for about two months. I lost nearly twenty pounds. On my way back to the US in this post 9/11 security barage, a woman asked to see my passport and asked me if I had brought any food items with me to declare. I started laughing uncontrollably saying something like, "Bring food from England??? Are you farking kidding me? Have you ever eaten the farking food in England. Look at me, my clothes don't even fit me anymore." She looked like she was going to ask me something else, then just handed me back my passport and bid me a farewell.

You sound like a real riot to hang out with! Way too embarass yourself at customs! Do you have any other wacky tales?
 
2009-03-04 06:18:31 AM  
i161.photobucket.com


I piss and Poop on you for Allah

i161.photobucket.com

Approves

/Goodnight
 
2009-03-04 06:21:38 AM  
zzrhardy: "shoppers were locked in for public safety reasons while the source of the contaminant was traced."

Some crazy arse bastard fills a store with atomised faeces and they lock the store full of people in with it, literally breathing in the shiat.

That's some fine public safety there Lou...


Ever heard of the term "quarantine"?
 
2009-03-04 06:22:30 AM  
aagrajag:

It probably was a pick-up line; Sahnoun Daifallah? I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that with such a name, and that delightful attitude toward women, we have here yet another ambassador from the Religion of Peace.


i478.photobucket.com
 
2009-03-04 06:26:22 AM  
FTFA: Daifallah, who chose to represent himself in court, claimed...

Ok, so he really IS batshiat insane.
 
2009-03-04 06:29:36 AM  
hotpiss: odisae: started laughing uncontrollably saying something like, "Bring food from England??? Are you farking kidding me? Have you ever eaten the farking food in England. Look at me, my clothes don't even fit me anymore." She looked like she was going to ask me something else, then just handed me back my passport and bid me a farewell.

rrrreally? well hows about the next time you're in 'engerland' you give the Angus Steak house on piccadilly circus a miss, as tempting as that voucher for a free starter and bottomless glass of fizzy-pop is, and join me for a slap up meal here, my treat.

/it's not 1945 anymore


You're on!! Though, I admit I only had to stay in London for a few hours, other than that I stayed close to Manchester. I have heard the food is better in the south.

jwrw My main staple actually was salad and ramen noodles.
 
2009-03-04 06:33:41 AM  
...cops were called after he asked a barmaid how much it would cost to rape her.


You're doing it wrong.
 
2009-03-04 06:39:18 AM  
TheChemist: aagrajag:

It probably was a pick-up line; Sahnoun Daifallah? I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that with such a name, and that delightful attitude toward women, we have here yet another ambassador from the Religion of Peace.


Now, now, simply because the article calls him a "Mad Chemist" doesn't mean you must display solidarity with him just because of your fark handle.
 
2009-03-04 06:41:00 AM  
UPS:
You sound like a real riot to hang out with! Way too embarass yourself at customs! Do you have any other wacky tales?


z.about.com

Well, there was this one time, at band camp.......
 
2009-03-04 06:50:59 AM  
odisae: You're on!! Though, I admit I only had to stay in London for a few hours, other than that I stayed close to Manchester. I have heard the food is better in the south.

like anywhere else in the world, the crap tends to be easier to find simply because they market themselves towards the tourist dollar and it's probably pretty safe to assume that seeing expectations are pretty low to begin with, places like this dont really need to try too hard. this is most evident in the usual central london tourist trap destinations - just take a wander around leicester square at the inumerate bottulism ridden pizza joints to get the idea - fact is tho that if you're prepared to pay that little bit extra and stray off the beaten track, you can eat in a michelin starred restaurant for not that much more than you'd pay in some of the franchise shiate holes you trip over with depressing regularity in this part of the world. I heartily reccomend you all try here (new window) the next time yer in town - and only 10 minutes by foot from the aforemetioned square of leicester!

/try the braised pigs head
//hey at least it aint boiled... oh no wait it is
 
2009-03-04 07:12:49 AM  
odisae: My last stay in the UK was for about two months. I lost nearly twenty pounds. On my way back to the US in this post 9/11 security barage, a woman asked to see my passport and asked me if I had brought any food items with me to declare. I started laughing uncontrollably saying something like, "Bring food from England??? Are you farking kidding me? Have you ever eaten the farking food in England. Look at me, my clothes don't even fit me anymore." She looked like she was going to ask me something else, then just handed me back my passport and bid me a farewell.

Some food in the UK is pretty foul, but you can good stuff as well. I didn't eat out much in the UK because it can be pretty expensive, but in the city I lived, there are some really great restaurants. I generally stayed away from the traditional 'British' stuff, but I had some pretty awesome Chinese, Japanese and Italian food. In the part of town I lived for a while, the closest market was a Japanese/Korean market and generally you can go to the supermarket or even better the city market and buy the stuff to make a wonderful meal yourself so it isn't all steak and kidney pies and mystery meat sausages.
 
2009-03-04 07:24:18 AM  
From TFA: Daifallah first visited the Air Balloon pub near Cheltenham cops were called after he asked a barmaid how much it would cost to rape her.

You're doing it wrong
 
2009-03-04 07:29:50 AM  
Right, because the US has such fantastic food. Great nationwide chains like the Olive Garden that wouldn't know how to cook italian food if the Sicilian Mafia came over to show them. And lets not even mention the huge number of filthy greaseburgers you guys eat.

If you tried to find pervasive, cheap dining in the UK then you probably failed because we have a different culture. Eating a really good meal out here is expensive, it is an occasion. Not just a daily excuse to stuff yourself with cheap, plastic cheese. Even a decent Chinese/Indian/Thai take-out meal is going to cost you around the equivalent of 20 dollars per person. Looking to pay any less than that will get you bad food because you're a cheapskate.

BTW, I love cajun food, the US does have some good stuff, but if you hate English food then you probably failed.
 
2009-03-04 07:38:43 AM  
Also, that guy in the story is farking sick.
 
2009-03-04 07:40:40 AM  
Gothnet: BTW, I love cajun food, the US does have some good stuff, but if you hate English food then you probably failed.

don't forget that other great american tradition found nowhere else in the world - 'BBQ'! mmm, the completely unique and never before happened upon in the history of humanity concept of cooking stuff over an open flame, not before you ruin a perfectly good cut of meat by slathering it in sickly sweet sauce beforehand mind you...

/stop doing that
//anyway, the south africans do it better and call it a 'braai'
///mmm, boerie roll anyone?
 
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