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(IOL.co.za)   Man shot dead for laughing in drunken penis-size competition   (iol.co.za) divider line 106
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21994 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2003 at 10:07 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-01-31 09:45:33 AM  
I think this headline sets the new fark record with a total of three reasons to read the article.

"Man shot dead for laughing"

"drunken"

"penis-size competition"
 
2003-01-31 10:10:07 AM  
NEVER shrink from competition.
 
2003-01-31 10:10:13 AM  
I saw I similar thing on "The Price is Right" one time.
 
2003-01-31 10:11:19 AM  
at least I have the good sense to only whip it out for drunken female audiences. Although I always worry that I'm not representing myself well when flaccid.

/waay too much info
 
2003-01-31 10:11:43 AM  
Odd...why would a guy who would be murderously infuriated by someone laughing at his penis be the first to whip it out? Something doesn't add up here.
 
2003-01-31 10:12:26 AM  
I take it one of them was using his bottle as a magnifying glass.
 
2003-01-31 10:13:15 AM  
Those crazy Asians. The order these types of parties follow are get drunk, circle jerk, THEN murder somebody.
 
2003-01-31 10:13:24 AM  
I always thought not laughing was one of those unwritten rules in penis-size competition. Its kind of like celebrating in the end-zone at football games.
 
2003-01-31 10:14:23 AM  
Entering a penis contest against a drunk man with a gun?!?!?! In a third world country?!?!?! I don't see the problem.
 
2003-01-31 10:14:35 AM  
I could show you my penis, but then I'd have to kill you.
It's a matter of National Security or something.
 
2003-01-31 10:14:53 AM  
do we REALLY need the word "drunken" in that headline??????
 
2003-01-31 10:14:54 AM  
Check out the "Related Articles" on the right:

Jobless in Hong Kong with a dong that's gone

'I cut off my evil penis with a panga'
 
2003-01-31 10:15:06 AM  
I was cleaning it and it went off.
 
2003-01-31 10:15:35 AM  
It's like the gay pr0n version of the deer hunter.
 
2003-01-31 10:15:41 AM  
Pueblo said the two men and their friends were having a drinking party when the victim challenged all to show their penises to determine who possessed the longest and widest male member.

cough
homo cough
 
2003-01-31 10:15:46 AM  
Winning an Asian-penis-size contest is like winning the Special Olympics.
 
2003-01-31 10:16:10 AM  
I remember when I was back home and we had a bonfire and some 40's...a friend of mine had one too many and promptly decided to whip his shrimpy for all to see. We weren't really happy to see that.
 
2003-01-31 10:16:13 AM  
That has got the be the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Makes me crack up. This is going to be a good day. Just as long as someone doesn't shoot me...
 
2003-01-31 10:16:20 AM  
There is always "That guy" who likes to whip his dick out when he's drunk. Apparently "That guy" in Manila has a anger management problem, and a gun.
 
2003-01-31 10:16:34 AM  
I get smacked for laughing at somebody for pronouncing a word wrong. Laughing at some guy's johnson is BEGGING for trouble.
 
2003-01-31 10:16:47 AM  
You know...there are just certain words that I never ever expect to see combined with other words to form a sentance.

This would be one of those situations...


AHAHaHahahahAhahAhahaHAhaHA! :)
 
2003-01-31 10:17:31 AM  
Beer Goggles + Horny Guys/No Women = Pissing Contest, not target practice.
 
2003-01-31 10:18:02 AM  
He should have used George Costanza's shrinkage defense.
 
2003-01-31 10:18:33 AM  
the Reer Hunter.

/follow-up.
 
2003-01-31 10:19:55 AM  
"drunken penis?" My wife has complained about that condition before. (And by "complained" I mean "rejoiced")

Was the competition over the size of the contestant's penises or did "penis-size" describe the competition's magnitude?

I really thought this was stupid until I read that the competition was focused on penis "width" and now I totally understand.

/3 lame posts in one!
 
2003-01-31 10:21:44 AM  
If my penis had a drinking problem, I would get it some help, not humiliate it in public.
 
2003-01-31 10:24:31 AM  
One time I was at this "place" old-scary-beatup-wharehouse-under-a-highway-bridge kind of place that my friends band was playing at. There were a bunch of hippies there, but there was also a group of some college guys. One of them whipped out his wang and drank his piss. My girlfriend and I promptly left. I found out later this guy did it multiple times afterward.
 
2003-01-31 10:24:38 AM  
Winning an Asian-penis-size contest is like winning the Special Olympics. -DamonRyde

OK...someone needs to photoshop the old "Arguing on the internet..." cliche pick with that tagline.

Funniest. Thing. All Morning.
 
2003-01-31 10:25:31 AM  
the header really should be "Obvious"
 
2003-01-31 10:28:29 AM  
Don't try this at home. A little known federal law states it is a felony to conduct or participate in a penis-size competition while under the influence of alcohol, narcotics, or stimulents.
 
2003-01-31 10:28:43 AM  
It proves once again that the pen is not mightier than a revolver in the hands of an angry Filipino
 
2003-01-31 10:29:11 AM  
TommyymmoT

If my penis had a drinking problem, I would get it some help, not humiliate it in public.


How many steps does it take to sober-up a loolie ?
 
2003-01-31 10:29:19 AM  
They were in Manila, so it was a Phillipenis comparison.
 
2003-01-31 10:30:57 AM  
Jadefrog01, Hey what issue was your sister in? Does she like skinny long haired guys? Can farkers have a drunken penis-size competition to win a date with her?
 
2003-01-31 10:31:05 AM  
01-31-03 10:15:06 AM Purple_Jack
I was cleaning it and it went off.


The gun or the penis?
 
2003-01-31 10:31:44 AM  
dead man on the ground with his pants down, in a room full of drunken men...

*cough*...homo indeed...
 
2003-01-31 10:32:37 AM  
Jadefrog I meant in the "sleep in peace" sense because it seemed funnier. And by "seemed funnier" I mean "pathetically true"

The other kind is quite the phenomenon though. Such a fine line between being just drunk enough to be an iron man and being so drunk you're a slobbering, bumbling idiot.

I think it's around 1/2 a beer's difference or less.
 
2003-01-31 10:32:56 AM  
This sounds like a case of justifiable homicide to me.
 
2003-01-31 10:33:36 AM  
Note to self: Never laugh at another man's penis if he has a loaded gun on him.
 
2003-01-31 10:35:34 AM  
Let this be a lesson to all you women.
 
2003-01-31 10:36:45 AM  
Thirdrail

Her name is Kerissa Fare. She's Miss September 2000. You could all have a blast with a drunken penis competition to woo her, but, unfortunately for you fellas, she's a married lady now. :)

LawTalkingGuy

I totally hear you on the "fine line" thing. I dig the nights where the "iron man" comes out...but then there are the times when the "iron man" falls off the bed and passes out till the next morning. :)

It is a truely phenomenal event though.
 
2003-01-31 10:38:08 AM  
will it be a hung jury......just say no to penis size competitions....guns don't kill people, drunks with guns in a penis size competition kill people....what a prick
 
2003-01-31 10:39:04 AM  
Nightsweat:

LMAO!
 
2003-01-31 10:39:10 AM  
This would happen here if Farkers got together and drank...oh wait.....
 
2003-01-31 10:39:32 AM  
You all saw it! He laughed when my marshmallow caught fire!

(Will someone please post that old Far Side comic?)
 
2003-01-31 10:41:19 AM  
I_Can't_Believe_It's_Not_Smegma
"Don't try this at home. A little known federal law states it is a felony to conduct or participate in a penis-size competition while under the influence of alcohol, narcotics, or stimulents."

So if you're sober, then it's ok? But then again, how many sober people get the idea to have a penis-size competetion?

Regardless, you just don't go laughing at a man's bits and pieces to his face, it's just not Kosher. That's in direct violation of the Man code, and some kind of response was warranted... though shooting him dead was probably a wee bit on the excessive side.
 
2003-01-31 10:42:22 AM  
I think you all will agree when I say he was way too interested in seeing his buddy's penis.
 
2003-01-31 10:43:34 AM  
He wouldn't have been laughing at the size if it was up his ass....if he would then he could be shot for a diffent reason....
 
2003-01-31 10:44:05 AM  
In "Unforgiven" they just cut up her face for a weenie giggle...
 
2003-01-31 10:44:39 AM  
this is the greatest bar gag ever... stand up and say you bet you've got the biggest wang in the house and then laugh like hell at the first idiot who's drunk/stupid enough to pull out his junk. just make sure no one's armed and its all good.
 
2003-01-31 10:44:42 AM  
Marijuana: It's not as harmless as we all thought! Oh wait this article has to do with alcohol.

:|
 
2003-01-31 10:46:08 AM  


Keri is the girl on the far left.
 
2003-01-31 10:46:51 AM  
Saw a guy at the urinal once his was tattooed with WENDY. I said: didn't mean to look but I dated a girl named WENDY too, and showed him my Tattoo. He laughed. When he stretched it to get the last drop clear I saw: WElcome to Jamaica moN have nice DaY.
 
2003-01-31 10:47:21 AM  
Dirttracker will it be a hung jury...

I hope it's not a well-hung jury, for the defendant's sake

{obscure Monty Python reference}
 
2003-01-31 10:48:51 AM  
Mine is compact when not in use and very suitable when needed. So I've been told.
 
2003-01-31 10:51:17 AM  
Drew has no penis.
 
2003-01-31 10:52:41 AM  
Jadefrog01, I just found some pics of her. WOW! WOW! and WOW! So she's married now, Damn, As if...

Thanks for sharing. Have you ever submitted a link to fark with her in it?
 
2003-01-31 10:56:55 AM  
Showing your penis for fun to your friends. That is the gayist thing I've ever heard.
 
2003-01-31 10:57:45 AM  
Thirdrail

I had submited a link ...but I was passed over. :) But if you'd like to try, I wish you the best. :)

Yes, she's married now and just had her first child. But, of course, it took her no time to get her figure back and she was able to go to the New Years Eve party at the mansion. :)
 
2003-01-31 10:59:54 AM  
 
2003-01-31 11:00:49 AM  
oh yeah </a>
 
2003-01-31 11:00:58 AM  
I saw a drunken penis once...
 
2003-01-31 11:01:59 AM  
Outlawtsar - Glad someone like that one. If I had photoshop, I would have definately put that together...
 
2003-01-31 11:02:23 AM  
Ahhh drunken penis-size competitions. Memories. It sounds odd now, but there were alot of times where people would be like "oh dude show em your c*ck" etc etc. I guess I have weird friends.
 
2003-01-31 11:05:36 AM  
Obligatory movie quote:

"The longest tool wins the pool"
 
2003-01-31 11:07:18 AM  
LMAO, I love this pic (found on the same site Keri's on)

 
2003-01-31 11:10:09 AM  
Here's another safe for work pic of Keri:

 
2003-01-31 11:13:00 AM  
Keri's breasticles= factory tits
 
2003-01-31 11:14:08 AM  
Pics! I demand pics!
 
2003-01-31 11:14:22 AM  
LOL
Poor guy(s).

*bang*
*falls on floor*
 
2003-01-31 11:16:04 AM  
"'Scuse me, while I whip this out..."

/oblig
 
2003-01-31 11:25:44 AM  
Why is the first instinct to laugh when we see a small penis? If you think about it, it's not funny. It's sad someone has to go through life with a small penis. But then again uncircumcised penis are a riot.
 
2003-01-31 11:34:28 AM  
Let this be a lesson to you....if you have a dick that is of a size that may have even the slightest chance of causing someone to laugh at it, DON'T ENTER IT IN A SCHLONG CONTEST!

That is all.
 
2003-01-31 11:42:16 AM  
Crouching Tiger, Drunken Penis
 
2003-01-31 11:42:54 AM  
Return of Drunken Penis starring Jackie Chan.
 
2003-01-31 11:43:08 AM  
Jadefrog01:

Oh.My.GOD. However, not my type: she's married . . . and I like 'em with a bit more meat on their bones, "more cushion for the pushin'" :)

thin guys normally end up with larger women, don't know why . . . don't care

/thread jack
 
2003-01-31 11:48:35 AM  
I thought they were going to add this competition to the next Summer Olympics....

"..oooh, no style points from the French judge, that's gotta hurt that final score..."
 
2003-01-31 11:51:52 AM  
At the bottom of the article is says this:

©2002. All rights strictly reserved.
Independent Online is a wholly owned subsidiary of Independent News & Media. Reliance on the information this site contains is at your own risk.


...so we can be certain that this "penis thing" really did happen.
 
2003-01-31 11:52:21 AM  
Count_Farkula found this website for you guys...

NSFW!!

http://www.busite.hpg.ig.com.br/Loiras_J-Z/Kerissa_Fare/
 
2003-01-31 11:54:18 AM  
Jeeze, no pic of Ron Jeremy yet. You guys are slipping!
 
2003-01-31 11:57:05 AM  
One time, at band camp, a bunch of us were in the cabin and got drunk. One guy passed out and another guy put a warm hot dog in his mouth and then whipped it out before the guy completely came to. He then made like he was zipping up as the guy brought the scene into focus. The violated one jumped up and it took 6 of us to pull him off the violator. Hilarity ensued.

Guys are funny that way. Actually it was a golf trip in the mountains but hey...
 
2003-01-31 12:02:32 PM  
Hell, I'd shoot the dude just for ASKING. Of course he'd have to stand in line behind all the women with similar requests.....

*a-HENH*
 
2003-01-31 12:05:01 PM  
Of course, I'm so mean I shot a man once just for snoring...

/John Wesley Harding
 
2003-01-31 12:05:13 PM  

The pen is mightier than the sword, but the penis not mightier than the gun.


THIS IS MY RIFLE, THIS IS MY GUN !
THIS IS FOR FIGHTING, THIS IS FOR FUN !

 
2003-01-31 12:05:22 PM  
Holy crap. Check out the "related articles".

Man chops off penis with panga.
"Killer tampons" will give rapist the chop.
'Dentist threatened to chop off my penis'
Woman 'breaks' would-be rapist's penis
Tired wife tries to cut off husband's penis
'Nigerian witch steals man's penis'

Why so much penis-related violence in the world?!
 
2003-01-31 12:05:57 PM  
Addendum: Mostly centralized in New Zealand!
 
2003-01-31 12:13:02 PM  
of course... for MachuPichu
(i have no idea who the other dude is - GIS)

 
2003-01-31 12:13:31 PM  
I came home from college last christmas and went to the pub in my home town. I had the misfortune to see two of the locals play a drunken game of "Testicle Conkers". It still haunts my dreams to this day.
 
2003-01-31 12:22:38 PM  
 
2003-01-31 12:32:37 PM  
I can't stop laughing. One of the funniest articles in a while. Guess he took one for the team....
 
2003-01-31 12:40:15 PM  
The first rule of the penis measuring club is that you don't talk about the penis measuring club.
 
2003-01-31 01:01:59 PM  
 
2003-01-31 01:02:10 PM  
Jadefrog01-

I think its kind of strange that you are posting links to your sister-in-laws nude pictures. On the other hand, I think its kinda hot.

Keep up the good work!
 
2003-01-31 01:19:15 PM  
If ever in a situation like this, the correct thing to say is, "So, do you want to see all of it or just enough to win?"
 
2003-01-31 01:49:58 PM  
i bet he would of be lmpo
 
2003-01-31 02:00:00 PM  
JadeFrog: How about the other girls in that picture... :)
 
2003-01-31 03:43:47 PM  
voodoo_thumb...I wanna know what her HUBBY thinks of it...
 
2003-01-31 03:53:17 PM  
heck, she's gotten to live a life that most of us can only dream of...and with everything that she has accomplished, we're proud of her and happy for her. she didn't pose so that she'd be invisible...she posed to be recognized. :)

as for her husband, he met her as a playmate...and he married her as a playmate.
 
2003-01-31 04:13:58 PM  
Prime Directive for all future drunken penis contests (sepcially at any FARK party):

All contestants will be thoroughly frisked BEFORE any drinking and hilarity ensues.

But always remember that some asshole could hide a derringer.
 
2003-01-31 04:58:53 PM  
where would they hide the derringer, they're gonna whip their schlong out anyways...
 
2003-01-31 05:40:08 PM  
Never take a gun to a penis fight.
 
2003-01-31 07:24:23 PM  
"You see, if old Corky had've had two guns, instead of just a big dick, he would have been there right to the end to defend himself."
 
2003-01-31 07:49:58 PM  
Bursting out in laughter over an Asian man's weiner size...HaHa...that can happen very easily.
 
2003-01-31 08:05:23 PM  
Alcohol + penises usually ends badly. For everyone, everywhere.
 
2003-02-01 01:38:07 AM  
I'd just pull out enough to prove them losers. ;>
 
2003-02-01 08:51:15 AM  
Kind of reminds me of that old game, "Let's see who can hit the softest."

And another thing . . .Ok, ok, the penis contest was one thing, but JadeFrog01 talking about posting bOObies links of his sister???
 
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