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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Woman beaten with a crucifix is expected to recover in three days and have her story misinterpreted for thousands of years   (post-trib.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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5312 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2009 at 5:08 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-02-25 02:32:31 PM  
A foot long crucifix. What's that for, pinning up baby Jesus?
 
2009-02-25 02:35:57 PM  
It's a sign. Jesus wants her to keep her whore mouth shut and fork over a tithe.
 
2009-02-25 02:42:41 PM  

CrankMyBlueSax: It's a sign. Jesus wants her to keep her whore mouth shut and fork over a tithe.


I think you're right about the tithe. However, if she only gave the crazy woman a buck she'd probably still get beaten with the 12" crucifix. It's like the old saying:

Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long.
 
2009-02-25 02:44:05 PM  
Allen didn't mention any other reports of similar attacks involving a crucifix as a weapon.

Meh, they're a dime a dozen.
 
2009-02-25 03:01:04 PM  
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
 
2009-02-25 03:56:26 PM  
She got off lucky. For many are called, but few are chosen.
 
2009-02-25 04:15:10 PM  

DslainteC: Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long.


You Win.

Thread over.
 
2009-02-25 05:10:43 PM  

DslainteC: I think you're right about the tithe. However, if she only gave the crazy woman a buck she'd probably still get beaten with the 12" crucifix. It's like the old saying:

Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long


i was getting ready to post an amusing quip, but it's just not worth it anymore. good work.
 
2009-02-25 05:12:18 PM  
Who Would Jesus Bludgeon?
 
2009-02-25 05:12:48 PM  
NSFW (new window)
 
2009-02-25 05:13:43 PM  
unavailable for comment:
[image from blogs.commercialappeal.com too old to be available]
/mrs robinson are you trying to seduce me?
 
2009-02-25 05:14:14 PM  
You should have never crossed her...hehe
 
2009-02-25 05:14:54 PM  
"Jesus Christ is not a weapon!"

[image from i281.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
2009-02-25 05:15:45 PM  
I came to say what master thief said.
 
2009-02-25 05:15:59 PM  
Hammer of the God
 
2009-02-25 05:16:36 PM  
What a martyr!
 
2009-02-25 05:16:43 PM  
mmmmmm sacrilegious....
 
2009-02-25 05:17:58 PM  
Approves:
alicia-logic.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-25 05:18:20 PM  
Boy, I bet she was cross.
 
2009-02-25 05:19:08 PM  

mekki: "Jesus Christ is not a weapon!"


why is hurley covered in mustard? is he trying to become a fark meme?
 
2009-02-25 05:19:51 PM  
"We must worship the sandal!" "No, No, we must worship the gourd!"
 
2009-02-25 05:19:54 PM  
You need to cut off her head and bury the body upside down. The Romans learned that lesson the hard way.
 
2009-02-25 05:20:08 PM  
Great headline, subby.
 
2009-02-25 05:20:49 PM  
I wonder what that's like?
 
2009-02-25 05:22:22 PM  
Meh. She'll keep hanging around too ...
 
2009-02-25 05:23:27 PM  

thomps: mekki: "Jesus Christ is not a weapon!"

why is hurley covered in mustard? is he trying to become a fark meme?


Something like:
"I don't know what's going on, so here's a picture of Hurley covered in mustard." ?
 
2009-02-25 05:24:08 PM  
i14.photobucket.comView Full Size

My fisrt thought.
 
2009-02-25 05:24:41 PM  

fark the casbah: Something like:
"I don't know what's going on, so here's a picture of Hurley covered in mustard." ?


something like:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-25 05:30:32 PM  

DslainteC: CrankMyBlueSax: It's a sign. Jesus wants her to keep her whore mouth shut and fork over a tithe.

I think you're right about the tithe. However, if she only gave the crazy woman a buck she'd probably still get beaten with the 12" crucifix. It's like the old saying:

Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long.


Keyboard, you owe me a new one, mine is now full of mountain dew and is quite sticky.

Thread over.
 
2009-02-25 05:31:31 PM  
Not a bad headline.

And the misinterpretation of the events lies in many factors (an important one being the differences between the written texts in variations of the same gospels) but mostly due to the fact that the texts are interpreted through gentile eyes, centuries after they were written, rather than Jews who understand a lot more to the story. Then again, interpreting it the way Jews and to some extent the ebionites (first followers of yoshke, all Jewish, all rejected his divinity) leads to, well, not believing he's G-d and all that, so I can see why church fathers would stick to their interpretations.
 
2009-02-25 05:31:54 PM  
A foot-long crucifix made of stone. Where'd a beggar get that from, first off, and why would she be beating random passersby with it?
"Blessed are the meek!" WHACK! "Blessed are the peacemakers!" WHACK! "Any of this sinking in, cheapskate?" WHACK!

Something's definitely amiss here. Sounds like "Nuns Amok."
 
2009-02-25 05:32:48 PM  
DslainteC....wow.

farm4.static.flickr.comView Full Size


^^hot nun to get this thread off
 
2009-02-25 05:34:19 PM  
Reminds me of those stories [true or otherwise] of people putting their eyes out with plastic Jesus dashboard ornaments.
 
2009-02-25 05:34:39 PM  

thomps: mekki: "Jesus Christ is not a weapon!"

why is hurley covered in mustard? is he trying to become a fark meme?


Yes. Yes, he is.
 
2009-02-25 05:38:22 PM  
Great headline.

/golf clap.
 
2009-02-25 05:44:50 PM  
Wow, there sure is alot of express train tickets being punched in this thread. Subby, you will be lucky if they don't strap you to the front.
 
2009-02-25 05:45:30 PM  
Get RELIGION!
 
2009-02-25 05:46:13 PM  
midnightcafe.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Only beaten with? Not impressed.
 
2009-02-25 05:46:28 PM  

DslainteC: CrankMyBlueSax: It's a sign. Jesus wants her to keep her whore mouth shut and fork over a tithe.

I think you're right about the tithe. However, if she only gave the crazy woman a buck she'd probably still get beaten with the 12" crucifix. It's like the old saying:

Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long.


[image from mariowiki.com too old to be available]

/congratulations, you win a Boo trophy
 
2009-02-25 05:50:52 PM  

gorgor: NSFW (new window)


god! that's why i look forward to your posts.
 
2009-02-25 05:52:18 PM  

pxsteel: Wow, there sure is alot of express train tickets being punched in this thread. Subby, you will be lucky if they don't strap you to the front.


rexs.usView Full Size

 
2009-02-25 05:55:10 PM  
Hot crossed broad?
 
2009-02-25 05:56:08 PM  

Tatsuma: mostly due to the fact that the texts are interpreted through gentile eyes, centuries after they were written, rather than Jews who understand a lot more to the story


Next thing I know you're going to be telling me I can't "hear" Jimi because I'm not black.
 
2009-02-25 06:03:51 PM  
I have no idea what y'all are talking about, so here are some pictures of nuns:
i86.photobucket.comView Full Size


weirdspot.comView Full Size


lalalingerie.comView Full Size


images.buycostumes.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-25 06:04:31 PM  

Tatsuma: And the misinterpretation of the events lies in many factors (an important one being the differences between the written texts in variations of the same gospels) but mostly due to the fact that the texts are interpreted through gentile eyes, centuries after they were written, rather than Jews who understand a lot more to the story.


True. But, then again, said Jews, as a whole, didn't recognize the coming of their Messiah (again, as a whole -- many thousands did recognize him, but not enough to matter), so, in the end, it seems nobody's perfect at this whole "interpreting God's message" thing.
 
2009-02-25 06:11:43 PM  

gorgor: NSFW (new window)


OH GOD GORGOR'S BACK.

I don't know what's going on in this thread, so here's a picture of a hot nun.

i212.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-25 06:13:04 PM  

DslainteC: CrankMyBlueSax: It's a sign. Jesus wants her to keep her whore mouth shut and fork over a tithe.

I think you're right about the tithe. However, if she only gave the crazy woman a buck she'd probably still get beaten with the 12" crucifix. It's like the old saying:

Tithe.
Tithe, dollar.
Tithe, dollar, foot-long.


siyumhaseinfeld.comView Full Size


Ah Jerry...
 
2009-02-25 06:18:47 PM  
trancemission: Next thing I know you're going to be telling me I can't "hear" Jimi because I'm not black.

I clearly mentioned in my post that this was about the church fathers who first interpreted these texts but thanks for trying your hardest at being offended over nothing

Xenomech: True. But, then again, said Jews, as a whole, didn't recognize the coming of their Messiah (again, as a whole -- many thousands did recognize him, but not enough to matter), so, in the end, it seems nobody's perfect at this whole "interpreting God's message" thing.

Don't worry, when he comes, we'll recognize him. He'll just have to prove he is first.
 
2009-02-25 06:22:34 PM  

Tatsuma: I clearly mentioned in my post that this was about the church fathers who first interpreted these texts but thanks for trying your hardest at being offended over nothing


Easy there Tats, it was a joke.

/Not easily offended
 
2009-02-25 06:24:31 PM  

Tatsuma: Don't worry, when he comes, we'll recognize him. He'll just have to prove he is first.


Just out of curiosity, how's he going to do that? I have a feeling that walking on water and turning water into wine isn't going to cut it these days - David Blaine could do that.
 
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