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(NCBuy)   Parkay margarine looking for the best cheesy pick-up line. Winner gets $10,000. What's your best?   (ncbuy.com) divider line 278
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6224 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2003 at 8:05 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2003-01-30 08:21:57 AM
36 votes:
"Hey, I got a joke for you. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex? The girl tied up in my trunk."

Now with added voting flavor. Mods...
2003-01-30 08:12:16 AM
30 votes:
"For a fat chick, you sure have small tits."
2003-01-30 08:13:05 AM
24 votes:
"Do you give head to strangers? No? Then let me introduce myself."

actually received this one. :)
2003-01-30 08:56:58 AM
22 votes:
walk up to a girl and tell her you have a magic watch, and that is says that she isn't wearing any panties. When she says, "well it's wrong, I am wearing panties." Say, "Damn, the thing must be an hour fast!"
2003-01-30 08:52:42 AM
21 votes:
Hey, baby. Ya know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your... DAMMIT! Wait, no. Awww, how did that one go again...?
2003-01-30 08:25:42 AM
20 votes:
Hi, my name's Drew. I have my own website...
43
2003-01-30 08:47:59 AM
18 votes:
'you know, it really sucks inheriting $30 million dollars and having a weak heart'

and for the other farkettes... Women's best pickup lines:

"Hi. You ready to go?"
2003-01-30 08:34:37 AM
18 votes:
I thought it was supposed to be best BUTTERY pick-up line?

In the spirit of the actual contest, I offer this submission:

"Hey baby. How about if I put some butter on my penis and then stick it in your ass?"

Thank you, thank you... I'm here all week. Enjoy the buttery veal.
2003-01-30 08:22:55 AM
18 votes:
"How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or fertilized?"
2003-01-30 08:28:17 AM
16 votes:
licks finger and touches blouse*

"We better get you out of those wet clothes"
2003-01-30 08:23:36 AM
16 votes:
"Wanna go in halves on a bastard?"
2003-01-30 08:21:06 AM
16 votes:
I'm going to be having sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there.
2003-01-30 08:11:31 AM
16 votes:
"Hello. I'm incredibly wealthy."
2003-01-30 08:09:33 AM
16 votes:
Look, I'm no poet, but would you shiat in my mouth?
2003-01-30 08:56:45 AM
15 votes:
wanna come over? i have 2 controllers on my nintendo
2003-01-30 08:44:49 AM
15 votes:
I just wanna take you home and cover you with raw meat and pee all over you
2003-01-30 08:39:15 AM
15 votes:
"i want to have your abortion"

/marla
2003-01-30 08:24:30 AM
15 votes:
"sure I have a small dick.....but I'd much rather eat pussy anyways..."
2003-01-30 08:14:40 AM
15 votes:
Do as I say and you won't get hurt.

Now with improved voting.
2003-01-30 08:18:48 AM
14 votes:
"Hi! You know I have a total fark membership.."

(now with new and improved voting)
2003-01-30 08:10:38 AM
14 votes:
"Every other guy in this place is gonna feed you a line of B.S., but I sincerely want to get to know the real you.

Plus I like Parkay margarine."
2003-01-30 08:29:49 AM
13 votes:
"I may not be the best looking guy here, but I am the only one talking to you"
2003-01-30 08:19:32 AM
13 votes:
"I can lick my eyebrows."
2003-01-30 09:05:26 AM
12 votes:
Hey would you have sex with me for $100.... No? come on I could really use the money.
2003-01-30 09:04:46 AM
12 votes:
"you might as well just fark me, coz i'm gunna tell my mates we did it anyway"
2003-01-30 08:20:04 AM
12 votes:
Do you work at Subway?

I thought you might since you're giving me a footlong.
2003-01-30 08:12:02 AM
12 votes:
"Do you have a little Jew in you?

Would you like some?"
Iis
2003-01-30 08:41:57 AM
11 votes:
So let me get this straight, yes means “yes”, and no means “tie me up”.
2003-01-30 08:26:59 AM
11 votes:
Let's play army: I'll lie down and you blow the hell out of me.
2003-01-30 08:12:31 AM
11 votes:
i can't believe it's not KY...
2003-01-30 08:08:04 AM
11 votes:
"Go ahead, try and guess which leg it's resting against"
2003-01-30 09:32:16 AM
10 votes:
I wrote these a while ago for a Radio contest.
TOP 10 Pick-up lines Canadians use in the US.

10. I'd by you a drink if it wasn't for this crappy exchange rate.
9. Want to shake hands with polk-a-roo?
8. Ever had you're pillow talk simultaniusly translated?
7. Windmills!? No. you're thinking of those BASTARDS, the Dutch.
6. This time you wear the goalie mask, and I'll try to score.
5. You're not packing heat, are you?
4. Want to ride my Avro Arrow?
3. Excuse my while I slip into something more flannel.
2. Care to work out our own soft-wood lumber treaty?
1. "Sorry".
2003-01-30 09:28:50 AM
10 votes:
"Were you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise cock."
2003-01-30 09:12:03 AM
10 votes:
"That dress is very becoming of you.. If I were on you I'd be coming too..."
2003-01-30 08:50:39 AM
10 votes:
"Preciousssss"
2003-01-30 08:11:40 AM
10 votes:
whats a girl like you doin with a face like that?
2003-01-30 08:09:29 AM
10 votes:
now..fark me if I'm wrong, but.....(insert your own wrong assertion here)

now with voting!!
2003-01-30 08:06:12 AM
10 votes:
"You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet..."
OBB
2003-01-30 07:53:34 AM
10 votes:
"Did you know that History Majors have been found to have the largest penises? It's true!"
2003-01-30 09:47:12 AM
9 votes:
You're breathing. I like that in a (wo)man.
2003-01-30 08:53:33 AM
9 votes:
"Hey, you wanna see something swell?"

It's a classic :)
2003-01-30 08:46:45 AM
9 votes:
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
2003-01-30 08:43:39 AM
9 votes:
/me puts on Antonio Banderas accent

Get on that table and pretend that your feet hate each other, do as I say...

stinkin voting check box
Rat
2003-01-30 08:33:54 AM
9 votes:
heya...can I add you to my list of hotties I'd like to disappoint sexually?
2003-01-30 08:26:56 AM
9 votes:
"STOP SCREAMING BYTCH OR IT'LL BE WORSE!"
2003-01-30 08:13:33 AM
9 votes:
You don't sweat much for a fat girl.
2003-01-30 12:42:48 PM
8 votes:
Get in the van.
2003-01-30 11:03:34 AM
8 votes:
Mind if I slip into something a little more...



Vagina?



Voting Enabled. Mods, please delete 11:02:09AM post
2003-01-30 09:54:51 AM
8 votes:
pull a screw out of your pocket and say "Wanna screw?"
2003-01-30 09:04:21 AM
8 votes:
"come - join me painted whore of babylon, i have need of a concubine."

but then i'm easy...
2003-01-30 08:34:05 AM
8 votes:
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past you again?
2003-01-30 08:20:44 AM
8 votes:
are you tired? because I want to have sex with you.
2003-01-30 08:18:16 AM
8 votes:
"I am not a stalker."
2003-01-30 08:11:19 AM
8 votes:
Just hold up a tub of Parkay and make it say "Butter!" It's cute. Women like cute. Then again, it may be scary. Women hate scary.
2003-01-30 08:00:20 AM
8 votes:
Nice shoes.. wanna fark?
2003-01-30 11:44:18 AM
7 votes:
"The dick ain't suckin' it's self!"

not mine, but a good one.

/dammit voting
2003-01-30 10:56:56 AM
7 votes:
But this is my favorite:

"I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"
2003-01-30 10:09:28 AM
7 votes:
You like anal?
2003-01-30 10:07:31 AM
7 votes:
I was hoping you and I might engage in some recreational sexual intercourse this evening. Then in the morning we could enjoy a breakfast of toast covered with the creamy goodness that is Parkay. Then we'll awkwardly part ways, exchange numbers and never speak again.
2003-01-30 09:08:08 AM
7 votes:
"i give road head."
2003-01-30 08:48:10 AM
7 votes:
Do you wanna play carnival ? You sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.

/Sid the sexist
43
2003-01-30 08:41:20 AM
7 votes:
'I'm not really this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet'
2003-01-30 08:39:42 AM
7 votes:
Probably too late, but...

Have you ever considered a job as an airline stewardess? Because you've got me in the full upright position already.
2003-01-30 08:29:42 AM
7 votes:
If you were a booger.... I'd pick you first.
2003-01-30 08:23:43 AM
7 votes:
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
I like peanut butter
Lets Fark


with voting
2003-01-30 08:22:07 AM
7 votes:
"I'm thinking of a word that starts with F and ends with K. Do U C what the word is?"

Horrible. I just thought it up. Unless someone told it to me.
2003-01-30 08:19:13 AM
7 votes:
"So, should I pick you up for breakfast in the morning.......or just roll over and wake you ?"
2003-01-30 08:12:02 AM
7 votes:
You'd look so much better naked covered in Parkay® Margarine.
2003-01-30 11:01:22 AM
6 votes:
-Are you a General in the Army?

-Because you have my Privates standing at attention.

*now with voting
2003-01-30 10:07:02 AM
6 votes:
So do you like math?

I thought we could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply...
2003-01-30 09:55:12 AM
6 votes:
Hey, Can I squeeze out a cleveland steamer on your boobies?
2003-01-30 09:28:31 AM
6 votes:
Can I add you to my buddy list?
2003-01-30 09:26:51 AM
6 votes:
You have beautiful eyes. They're the same color as my Porsche.

I didn't make it up, but I do like it (although the giving head to strangers one might have to work it's way into the rotation (if for whatever reason, my wife decides to let me rotate).
2003-01-30 09:10:04 AM
6 votes:
I'm in a wheelchair and I tend to use one that works sometimes, but always gets a laugh...
"Hey, why don't you hop on my lap and i'll take you for the ride of your life."
2003-01-30 08:53:24 AM
6 votes:
Today's word is "Legs." Now lets go back to my place and spread the word.
2003-01-30 08:52:30 AM
6 votes:
"Got Milk? I'm gonna churn you so long, we'll end up with butter."
2003-01-30 08:47:50 AM
6 votes:
"You remind me of my mom."
2003-01-30 08:29:59 AM
6 votes:
so lemme ask ya, do you press charges??
2003-01-30 08:23:14 AM
6 votes:
Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam ya all night.
2003-01-30 08:11:23 AM
6 votes:
"You know what would look good on you? Me."
2003-01-30 03:41:44 PM
5 votes:
Lay your body down, and I will show you love. I will drape you in the finest black silks. I will travel to the finest Asian nations to attain this silk. Then, I will run my fingers through your hair. I will caress your body slowly and whisper in your ear while I do so. I will tell you such things as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" and "Your skin is like the most expensive Swiss chocolate money can buy" and "Your eyes are like windows to paradise," and other romantic things that will make you tremble with desire.

I will hit you doggy-style.

Love, Smooth B

2003-01-30 01:48:45 PM
5 votes:
Me: If I were to offer you $1 million, would you have sex with me?
Her: Well... sure. Why not?
Me: What if I were to offer you $10?
Her: Kee-rist! What kind of a girl do you think I am?
Me: I think we've established that. All I am doing is negotiating the price.

/props to Kendall
pr2
2003-01-30 01:09:44 PM
5 votes:
"Do you know the difference between you and my tube socks?"
"No."
"I haven't blown my wad into you yet."
2003-01-30 12:34:48 PM
5 votes:
"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see in here baby."

Used on me:
"Hi, my name is chance, do I have one?"
2003-01-30 12:22:05 PM
5 votes:
guy in crowdwd bar: 'hey, did you just touch my ass?'

girl: 'no.'

guy: 'damn.'
2003-01-30 11:00:52 AM
5 votes:
Your father must have been a thief, because THAT'S MY MISSING WATCH!
2003-01-30 10:52:08 AM
5 votes:
"Whats a half decent girl like you doing in a nice place like this?"
or
"You'll do"
2003-01-30 10:21:28 AM
5 votes:
"Do you see my friend over there? He want's to know what you think of me."
2003-01-30 10:16:40 AM
5 votes:
--holding apple in hand--
--take a byte from apple--
Me: "Do you like apples?"

chick: "SURE."

Me: "Im gonna take you back to my place and fark you up the ass, how about them apples?"
2003-01-30 10:16:33 AM
5 votes:
Gimme some sugar, baby.
2003-01-30 09:56:49 AM
5 votes:
You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice
2003-01-30 09:42:07 AM
5 votes:
uh.....i'd hit it?
2003-01-30 09:37:05 AM
5 votes:
"Hey babe, let's go back to my place, order pizza, and get it on!"

*SLAP*

"Allright, allright, how about Chinese food then?"
2003-01-30 09:20:04 AM
5 votes:
that shirt looks very becoming on you... if i were on you i'd be coming too.

Once more, with voting
2003-01-30 08:58:07 AM
5 votes:
01-30-03 08:55:42 AM GoodyearPimp
To go with FnckYon
"She was only a pickpocket's daughter, but you should have seen her snatch"


Reminds me of this line: I dont' know if she can wrestle but you should really see her box.
2003-01-30 08:34:12 AM
5 votes:
Can I touch your boobies?
2003-01-30 08:21:47 AM
5 votes:
$25-suck, $50-suck fVck.
2003-01-30 08:14:43 AM
5 votes:
You look just like my ex-wife...
2003-01-30 06:37:19 PM
4 votes:
Wow people sure are having trouble with the voting button today.
anyway..... I can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet so here you go...

Best. Pick-up line. Ever:

"Smile if you'll sleep with me."

Game. Over.
2003-01-30 06:29:23 PM
4 votes:
Did some one take the stars from heaven and RAM THEM INTO YOUR FACE?
2003-01-30 01:50:42 PM
4 votes:
"Hey, baby, I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U."

-- 2DS
2003-01-30 01:23:42 PM
4 votes:



1)I couldn't find a good enough picture for the "You ever had your ass licked by a fat man in a trench coat?" line
2) I wanted to use a picture to get your attention because...
3) I'm a vote whore with no original thoughts of my own.
2003-01-30 01:21:38 PM
4 votes:
wanna go back to my place and spoon on the couch?
No? Then hows about we just Fork then?

(see, thats the one time in you life where the spork is just not the shiat)
2003-01-30 12:47:36 PM
4 votes:
Can I bust my jumbo jet between your twin towers?
2003-01-30 12:20:50 PM
4 votes:
"Did that hurt?"

'Did what hurt?'

"When you fell from heaven?"


Had to repost to enable voting.......
2003-01-30 12:17:58 PM
4 votes:
"Your head looks like a really clean carrot!"

(Pinky, from Pinky and the Brain)
2003-01-30 11:33:38 AM
4 votes:
"hi, i've lost my teddybear. will you sleep with me?"
2003-01-30 11:23:14 AM
4 votes:
Nice ass. Can I wear it as a hat?

Say, yer finer'n a new set a snow tires...
2003-01-30 10:20:27 AM
4 votes:
"Baby, you're just like Parkay. You spread like butter and you taste even better."


NSFMarketing
2003-01-30 09:55:31 AM
4 votes:
"I promise I won't come in your mouth."
2003-01-30 09:45:12 AM
4 votes:
I've got the F, the C, and the K ... now all I need now is U.
2003-01-30 09:43:07 AM
4 votes:
I may be no Windows user but I sure want to compile your kernal!

/Why Linux fanboys never get chicks
2003-01-30 09:12:29 AM
4 votes:
Do you like seafood? Cause I can get you get some of the best crabs ever!
2003-01-30 09:08:29 AM
4 votes:
Mating with me will increase your Neilson ratings in every demographic.
2003-01-30 09:05:09 AM
4 votes:
Hey baby,

Gimme your number before I don't want it no more.
2003-01-30 08:58:16 AM
4 votes:
Wanna play carnival? You can sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.

(Worked pretty well for me.)
2003-01-30 08:54:06 AM
4 votes:
Are those space pants? 'Cause your ass is outta this world!
2003-01-30 08:51:44 AM
4 votes:
what is your favorite kind of bees?

mine? boooooo-bees
2003-01-30 08:42:29 AM
4 votes:
Excuse me miss, did you know I could twist my penis into a crazy straw?
2003-01-30 08:39:18 AM
4 votes:
How much extra do you charge for felching?
2003-01-30 08:29:05 AM
4 votes:
For Joe Millionaire fans:

"My pretend butler told you I have $50M. Let's ditch the cameraman but not the boom mic guy."
2003-01-30 08:25:43 AM
4 votes:
"hi i'm Mr Right, i heard you've been looking for me?"
2003-01-30 08:25:26 AM
4 votes:
"If you fold the Land-o-Lakes container, the indian girl on it looks topless, but if you fold this Parkay container, you might just get to my number"
2003-01-30 08:13:12 AM
4 votes:
Having sex with this tub of margarine is getting a little old. Would you like to help out my situation?
2003-01-30 06:22:10 PM
3 votes:
(run up panting)

"Must have sex!!!! No time to explain!!!"
2003-01-30 03:30:58 PM
3 votes:
Does this smell like chloriform to you?
2003-01-30 02:41:23 PM
3 votes:
If beauty were a tree, you'd be a forest.
Then again, beauty's in the eye of the beholder-and I'd love to be-holdin ya...

/now with voting, i still need more coffee...
2003-01-30 02:04:40 PM
3 votes:
"Hi, my name is Bill. Remember that because you'll be telling it to the police later tonight."
2003-01-30 01:56:44 PM
3 votes:
Touch IT,Come On Just Touch IT, Touch IT !!!
2003-01-30 01:22:08 PM
3 votes:
If you are a lesbian and spot a hot lesbian, go up to here and say either "less filling" or "tastes great." If you are lucky, a hot catfight will ensue.
2003-01-30 01:16:11 PM
3 votes:
Actual conversation:

Waitress: That guy over at the bar is hitting on me.
Me: I'm hitting on you. What's the difference?
Waitress: Oh, you're nice.
Me: For the moment...
2003-01-30 01:08:46 PM
3 votes:
"Hi, my name's Bob, and it's been 3 weeks since my last kebab"
2003-01-30 01:07:43 PM
3 votes:
This line only works if you can fake an irish accent. For the whole night. And probably the next morning.
you: "So do you believe in the luck of the Irish?"
her: "No."
you: "Well, I'm the luckiest man in this bar, and I can prove it, too."
her: "How's that?"
you: "I'm the only one talking to you, aren't I?"

Always good for at least a smile.
2003-01-30 01:07:16 PM
3 votes:
You must be Jamaican, 'cause ja-makin me crazy!
2003-01-30 12:54:16 PM
3 votes:
Might have been said..


"Nice dress, baby.... can I... talk you out of it?

*finger pistol*
2003-01-30 12:48:07 PM
3 votes:
bah

now with voting.. like it matters.

Me: "My watch can read you mind, baby. It says you ain't got panties on"

Girl: "But I do have panties on."

Me: *shake watch* "damn things running fast again."
2003-01-30 12:37:07 PM
3 votes:
1.Hey, you remind me of my next girlfriend.

2.Let's play Photography. We'll go into a dark room and see what develops.

3. Let's play Dentist. We'll see if you have any cavities I can fill.
2003-01-30 12:26:56 PM
3 votes:
It's not intercourse without u and i.
2003-01-30 11:30:11 AM
3 votes:
01-30-03 11:19:24 AM NICU8697
what about -
"My hovercraft is full of eels!"
2003-01-30 11:29:59 AM
3 votes:
a few of my favorites:
1. Bond, James Bond
2. Is it cold, or are you smuggling Tic Tacs?
3. Either way I'm going to have you tonight, so you might as well be there too.
4. I'm sure you didn't mean to turn me on with those huges tits, but it's too late now.
5. Am I cute enough now, or do you need a few more drinks?
6. Walk over to a table of ladies, pull out your schlong, and ask- Hey Petey, see anyone you recognise?
7. Chicks dig my colored underwear

I have nothing else, vote for one
2003-01-30 11:01:16 AM
3 votes:
"I'm a little nervous, but I just had to tell you your eyes are beautiful--they're as blue as pimming swools."

/Degrassi
2003-01-30 10:55:57 AM
3 votes:
Here is teh cheese:
"Can I have a quarter?"
"Why?"
"My mom told me to call when I found the woman of my dreams."
2003-01-30 10:55:36 AM
3 votes:
"Do you wash your clothes in Windex? Cuz I can see myself in your pants..."

ba-dum-dum
2003-01-30 10:55:12 AM
3 votes:
Can I butter your buns?
2003-01-30 10:54:02 AM
3 votes:
I'll give you some cheese if you have sex with me.
2003-01-30 10:09:09 AM
3 votes:
"Hi I'm (insert name here),, The other white meat"
2003-01-30 10:07:16 AM
3 votes:
How about I cook you dinner, you cook me breakfast and in between we just cook?
2003-01-30 10:06:21 AM
3 votes:
if i were a squirrel and you were a tree, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
2003-01-30 10:02:20 AM
3 votes:
"You like apples? We're going back to my place to fark, how do ya like them apples?"

My aplogies if that's been done.
2003-01-30 10:00:14 AM
3 votes:
This one time, at band camp...
2003-01-30 09:53:18 AM
3 votes:
Hi, my name is Donkey-Punch. Would you consider huffing paint with me?
2003-01-30 09:48:45 AM
3 votes:
I lost a booger in the snow. will you help me look for it?
2003-01-30 09:44:13 AM
3 votes:
Hey baby, did I happen to mention that I'm Total Fark?
2003-01-30 09:37:06 AM
3 votes:
Nice legs ... when do they open?
2003-01-30 09:28:47 AM
3 votes:
Hi, my name is Drew
2003-01-30 09:25:29 AM
3 votes:
"i'm joe millionaire! i have more spread than parkay!"
2003-01-30 09:22:54 AM
3 votes:
Obvious:
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Or...
How about if you sit on my lap and we see what "pops" up?
2003-01-30 08:58:16 AM
3 votes:
"Hi I'm Milk and I'd like to do your body good"
2003-01-30 08:53:42 AM
3 votes:
Grab your coat, you've pulled.
Nice dress, it would look better on my bedroom floor.
Wanna fark?
2003-01-30 08:48:11 AM
3 votes:
"Have you heard the good news about Amway?"
2003-01-30 08:36:56 AM
3 votes:
are your legs tired? because you been running through my mind all day.
2003-01-30 08:30:14 AM
3 votes:
"The doctor said if I would just quit picking at it, eventually it should heal. The scabs are just so darn tasty though"
2003-01-30 08:13:43 AM
3 votes:
"Butter"

/old is new again
2003-01-31 01:43:01 AM
2 votes:
I'm sorry to bother you, but ss I walked by you my soul screamed out in anguish. I turned and saw your face and my soul felt it's worth. Do I know you, perhaps? No. I didn't think so. But my soul seems to and it cries out when your beautiful eyes meet mine. Perhaps we knew each other in another life, another time. Anyway, it was nice to meet you and talk with you. Perhaps we may meet again some day, some place, some time...
2003-01-30 05:22:37 PM
2 votes:
"Is heaven missing an angel? Cause you got nice cans."

2003-01-30 04:20:56 PM
2 votes:
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
2003-01-30 04:03:15 PM
2 votes:
"You know what has two thumbs and likes blow jobs?"
(Point both thumbs at yourself)
"This Guy"
2003-01-30 03:56:26 PM
2 votes:
"Can I buy you one of these great new hard ciders from Dickens? You look like a chick who likes a Hard Dickens Cider."
2003-01-30 03:52:08 PM
2 votes:
Dammit. Now, with voting!

"Isn't this a great bar? They run it the same way I run my bedroom. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear."
2003-01-30 03:24:33 PM
2 votes:
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
2003-01-30 03:22:04 PM
2 votes:
"Baby, you’re so beautiful, I would drag my balls through half a mile of broken glass just to masturbate in your shadow."
pr2
2003-01-30 01:37:10 PM
2 votes:
"can I push in your stool?"
2003-01-30 01:30:50 PM
2 votes:
Me to waitress: "I would like the sheepherder's special"
Waitress: "I'm afraid I don't know what that is?"
Me: "That would be a piece of ewe, baby"

Actually used this in a truck stop in MT. about 3:00 A.M. after a long night of drinking. No, it did not work.
2003-01-30 01:17:29 PM
2 votes:
I don't bite... wait -- actually, I do bite.

/startrek
2003-01-30 01:14:51 PM
2 votes:
I'd Like to butter your muffin!
2003-01-30 01:13:26 PM
2 votes:
you: Do you want to make love?
her: No...
you: Okay, in that case, wanna FARK?
2003-01-30 01:00:08 PM
2 votes:
She was only a mortician's daughter, but anyone cadaver...
2003-01-30 12:48:35 PM
2 votes:
"Do you like the guy who is brothers with strongmadandstrongsad?"

But you gotta say it really fast.
2003-01-30 12:36:49 PM
2 votes:
A drunk guy approached me in a bar. Weaving where he stood, he announced I had a beautiful rack. He then proceeded to dive head first into my top, & ripping my shirt down the front!

So, the line didn't work. My friend I was with kicked his ass. Haaving a ripped top proved interesting for the rest of the evening.
2003-01-30 12:28:36 PM
2 votes:
Eat me!
2003-01-30 12:19:12 PM
2 votes:
Run finger across shoulder, then put in your mouth as if to taste it and say "Hmm, its no Parkay but you'll do."
2003-01-30 11:44:17 AM
2 votes:
Do you have a little penis in you? Would you like som....DOH! wait a sec that's not the line.....
/I got nothin
2003-01-30 11:40:33 AM
2 votes:
You wanna go out sometime? You know, out back?



</moesyzlak>

weeeeeeeeeeeee
2003-01-30 11:38:02 AM
2 votes:
This one came from my brother, who kind of has that mean biker look.

Walk up to a pretty girl and in a gruff voice say, "You see this face? (pointing to your own face) Well, it's leaving in five minutes, and you'd better be on it!"

Pretty much worked on my sister-in-law, which is kind of sad anyway...
2003-01-30 11:36:14 AM
2 votes:
Is there a reason you're looking at me? Perhaps it's because I'm a farking stallion.
2003-01-30 11:33:33 AM
2 votes:
Can I have a massage?
Lower...
Lower...
Now around the front...
2003-01-30 11:28:35 AM
2 votes:
Do you have a keg in your underwear?

'Cause I wanna tap that ass.
2003-01-30 11:28:20 AM
2 votes:
Do you have any Native American in you? No? Would you like some...
2003-01-30 11:25:39 AM
2 votes:
Only works on Halloween, and only if shes NOT wearing a costume:

"Let me guess, a pregnant hooker?"

/voting this time
2003-01-30 11:10:38 AM
2 votes:
"I like that 'M' on your sweater -- how's it look as a 'W' ?"

/rah.
2003-01-30 11:03:19 AM
2 votes:
"Hi. I couldn't help but notice...you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. My name is _______."

Simple and direct for max effect, gents.



Ladies, this one was used on me:

"So, am I yours for tonight?"

Yes.
2003-01-30 10:50:22 AM
2 votes:
"Honey, I wish I was you... so I could make LOVE to me!"
2003-01-30 10:45:38 AM
2 votes:
excuse me, do you wash your clothes in windex?
no? really? wow, because i can see myself in your underwear
2003-01-30 10:24:09 AM
2 votes:
Wanna play Pinnochio...you sit on my face and i'll tell lies


learned it when i was 6...have yet to use it
2003-01-30 10:18:17 AM
2 votes:
"Wanna go get a 6 pack and do it?"

Then if she says no, say, "What, you don't like beer?"
2003-01-30 10:16:46 AM
2 votes:
Is your father a carpenter, cuz you're giving me a woody.

Hi, my name is Trigger. As in Horse. As in Hung Like.

I'd like to pour BBQ sauce all over you and work you like a rib.

Let's go back to my place and watch my video tape of monkeys farking.
2003-01-30 10:10:37 AM
2 votes:
Would you like a drink? Or should I just give you the money?
2003-01-30 10:05:57 AM
2 votes:
he: "hey what do you do for a fifty?"
She "I am no whore!"
he: "In that case, what would you like to drink?"
2003-01-30 09:59:39 AM
2 votes:
"You look like you workout, Want a late night protein drink?"
2003-01-30 09:46:17 AM
2 votes:
"I want your soul"
/aphex


alarming how often it works...
2003-01-30 09:45:49 AM
2 votes:

Would you like this GAP gift card?
2003-01-30 09:45:24 AM
2 votes:
Pardon my forwardness, but a beautiful lady like you deserves only the finest margarine known to man, Parkay.
2003-01-30 09:44:25 AM
2 votes:
"Kiss ME! It's my birthday."
2003-01-30 09:42:23 AM
2 votes:
guy: hay babe wana get naked and have sex then order a pizza?

gal: no

guy: whats the mader dont
like pizza?
2003-01-30 09:40:41 AM
2 votes:
I'm being followed by the Russian mob. Can you sneak me outta here? Under your dress would work great!
2003-01-30 09:33:44 AM
2 votes:
aaarrrrgh
sp
2003-01-30 09:31:45 AM
2 votes:
Let's go down to the 7-11 and get a Big Gulp. Then maybe perhaps I can take a closer look at that bulbous camel toe.

maybe I got it right this time
2003-01-30 09:31:12 AM
2 votes:
why don't we get drunk and screw?
2003-01-30 09:12:54 AM
2 votes:
Come on over here and let me kiss your belly button...................from the inside.
2003-01-30 09:10:36 AM
2 votes:
I fark on the first date (only funny if youre a guy)
2003-01-30 09:02:41 AM
2 votes:
Would you like a free mammogram?
2003-01-30 09:01:52 AM
2 votes:
I don't bite...too hard
2003-01-30 08:55:20 AM
2 votes:
Baby...you're like butter...no wait...Paaaaaarkay!
2003-01-30 08:46:15 AM
2 votes:
You smell like poop.
2003-01-30 08:40:30 AM
2 votes:
Wanna fark, or should I apologize?
2003-01-30 08:40:13 AM
2 votes:
Butter is a great lubricant...
2003-01-30 08:21:28 AM
2 votes:
"Hi, can I buy you a drink?"

- If it works, a great start, and if it doesn't, all that you lost was the price of one drink (cheaper than getting one thrown over you).
2003-01-30 08:19:12 AM
2 votes:
Is that a beer keg in your back pocket or are you just happy to see me?
2003-01-31 01:12:58 AM
1 votes:
Grab a few of your hottest girlfriends and lets go make a daisy chain.
2003-01-30 09:44:02 PM
1 votes:
"I'm hung like a donkey"
2003-01-30 08:05:35 PM
1 votes:
Actually heard on New Year's Eve, shouted as people were leaving concert:
"Any of you biatches single?"
2003-01-30 06:20:45 PM
1 votes:
They don't call me McWilley for nothing!
2003-01-30 06:09:16 PM
1 votes:
2003-01-30 06:08:18 PM
1 votes:
Hey, are you gonna walk to your car all alone later?
2003-01-30 04:17:32 PM
1 votes:
you're really attractive...y'know, for a beautiful girl with a great body.

-Chevy Chase
2003-01-30 04:05:41 PM
1 votes:
can i cum on your face ?

now with voting
2003-01-30 04:00:51 PM
1 votes:
I just farted. Lets get out of here.
2003-01-30 03:57:28 PM
1 votes:
TROG DOR!!!!!
2003-01-30 03:42:26 PM
1 votes:
"Hi, can I buy you a drink, or reimburse you for the one you're drinking?"

also like the faux-foreign fella:

"Tonight if you are no busy can we sex much?"
2003-01-30 03:33:38 PM
1 votes:
Hi my name is Patty O'Donnell do you have any Irish in you, No? Would you like some?

With Voting
2003-01-30 03:01:12 PM
1 votes:
!F&$K!

Now...with voting...

He-"Would you have sex with me for $10,000?"
She-"Well, um, actually, yes, I would."
He-"What about $50?"
She-"What kind of girl do you think I am?"
He-"We've already established that, now we're just heggling on the price."

/Churchill
2003-01-30 02:14:36 PM
1 votes:
You're name must be crisco, cause you're fat in the can.
2003-01-30 02:03:59 PM
1 votes:
"FVCK MY DICK!!!"

Must be yelled through clenched teeth to be effective.

Props to Palvar on that one.
2003-01-30 01:38:22 PM
1 votes:
"You're under arrest"
2003-01-30 01:34:24 PM
1 votes:
Here's my contribution....

"Hi, my name's (fill in the blank). I have a speed boat."
2003-01-30 01:29:54 PM
1 votes:
If your left leg is thanksgiving, and your right leg is christmas, can i visit between the holidays?
2003-01-30 01:25:55 PM
1 votes:
My dick on hard, what you gonna do about it?
2003-01-30 01:21:54 PM
1 votes:
Not a pickup, but it helps in the conversation...

"Flattery, my dear, will get you everywhere."
2003-01-30 01:17:58 PM
1 votes:
A guy actually said this to me once!
My snake wants to vomit in your cave
2003-01-30 01:16:48 PM
1 votes:
blah
2003-01-30 01:16:20 PM
1 votes:
My brother used to say this:
Him: I found a job where you can plant tulips for $10 an hour...
Her: Really? Where?
Him: Well you can start by planting your two lips right here *pointing at his unit*
2003-01-30 01:07:55 PM
1 votes:
Hi, my name is tyler, you'll be screaming that later.
2003-01-30 01:04:41 PM
1 votes:
My hovercraft is full of eels.
2003-01-30 01:04:40 PM
1 votes:
Let's play Carpenter -
We'll get hammered and then I'll screw you.
2003-01-30 12:54:17 PM
1 votes:
"You like apples?"

Girl: Yea

you: "How about we go out back and fark? Howya like them apples?"

Ba-dam-dam!
2003-01-30 12:52:33 PM
1 votes:
"How would you like to be the next ex-Mrs. Frankeinstein?"
2003-01-30 12:51:37 PM
1 votes:


you want to have sex with me
2003-01-30 12:05:34 PM
1 votes:
"Oh My, What a wonderful hose you have, Mr. Fireman!"

obviously from the retrocrush link.....
2003-01-30 12:05:24 PM
1 votes:
Would you like to see my W-2?
2003-01-30 11:54:45 AM
1 votes:
Well it may not be very long, but it sure is skinny!
2003-01-30 11:53:40 AM
1 votes:
It's time to bone.
2003-01-30 11:53:10 AM
1 votes:
"I'm Drunk"
2003-01-30 11:35:19 AM
1 votes:
Excuse me, I'm with the F.B.I.; I'm a Female Body Inspector. Do you have a permit for those?
2003-01-30 11:34:10 AM
1 votes:
Your place, or my face?
2003-01-30 11:31:08 AM
1 votes:
So what's it ginna be, your place or my car?
2003-01-30 11:21:04 AM
1 votes:
Im Pretty, Your Pretty,
Lets go home and stare at eachother.....
2003-01-30 11:19:24 AM
1 votes:
Cmon, no one has posted this one yet, so I feel it is my obligation:

"If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
2003-01-30 11:12:53 AM
1 votes:
Have you ever tasted a sweeter d!ck than mine?
2003-01-30 11:05:46 AM
1 votes:
They call me cheesediack. Guess why.
2003-01-30 10:56:19 AM
1 votes:
Margarine: it kind of looks like the word "Marijuana"
2003-01-30 10:50:15 AM
1 votes:
Nice shoes, wanna fark?
2003-01-30 10:48:15 AM
1 votes:
"butter my bread, baby?"
2003-01-30 10:47:02 AM
1 votes:
french accent
"Want to go to my car and Parkey?"
/french accent

get it? Wanna park? like make out?
I gots nothing.
2003-01-30 10:44:07 AM
1 votes:
My friend is in a country bar,wearing red ropers. This guy walks up and says "darlin', how'd you get your lipstick to match your boots?"
2003-01-30 10:29:28 AM
1 votes:
"Vegasj ...if a guy said that to me in a bar, i think i'd wet myself. (interpret that as you will. :))"
best.post.yet.


damn.
2003-01-30 10:28:35 AM
1 votes:
hi, my name's pogo. wanna jump on my stick?
2003-01-30 09:56:00 AM
1 votes:
Hey babe, take me drunk I'm home.
2003-01-30 09:51:02 AM
1 votes:
"come sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up"

/classic
2003-01-30 09:49:35 AM
1 votes:
Ever since I met you, I've swept you off my feet.

reverse psychology?
2003-01-30 09:46:08 AM
1 votes:
The word of the day is LEGS... Let's go upstairs and spread the word.
2003-01-30 09:32:13 AM
1 votes:
Hi there, can I hump your leg?
2003-01-30 09:17:19 AM
1 votes:
Here, feel my leg.
2003-01-30 09:07:36 AM
1 votes:
"I'm a geologist, did you know we like to see the bedrock."
2003-01-30 08:58:51 AM
1 votes:
hey baby chips and gravy, want some fries with that shake??
2003-01-30 08:54:41 AM
1 votes:
everyone knows "your father must have been a thief... stole the stars and put them in your eyes"

heres mine: Your daddy must have been a thief. Stole all the melons and put 'em in your chest.
2003-01-30 08:53:38 AM
1 votes:
So you wanna fark or should I apologize?
2003-01-30 08:33:34 AM
1 votes:
"I drive a Porche'"
2003-01-30 08:09:01 AM
1 votes:
So, where did your momma take your temperature when you were a little girl?
 
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