Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NCBuy)   Parkay margarine looking for the best cheesy pick-up line. Winner gets $10,000. What's your best?   (ncbuy.com ) divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

6231 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2003 at 8:05 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



455 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all
 
2003-01-30 01:24:21 PM  
"Roses are red and they're ready for plucking"
"you are sixteen and you're ready for........High school"...
 
2003-01-30 01:25:55 PM  
My dick on hard, what you gonna do about it?
 
2003-01-30 01:29:54 PM  
If your left leg is thanksgiving, and your right leg is christmas, can i visit between the holidays?
 
2003-01-30 01:30:50 PM  
Me to waitress: "I would like the sheepherder's special"
Waitress: "I'm afraid I don't know what that is?"
Me: "That would be a piece of ewe, baby"

Actually used this in a truck stop in MT. about 3:00 A.M. after a long night of drinking. No, it did not work.
 
2003-01-30 01:31:44 PM  
I have taken Viagra just for you.
 
2003-01-30 01:34:24 PM  
Here's my contribution....

"Hi, my name's (fill in the blank). I have a speed boat."
 
2003-01-30 01:36:19 PM  
Pretty good guys, but none of them would work on me.

But I'm old anyway, so don't worry about it.

I was with 2 (drunk) guys one night and when the waitress came over to get their drink orders, the one guy lit a match then blew it out, then stuck the match by the waitress's thighs and said, "I think there's smoke coming from your pussy!" She was not amused. Too late, she'd already given him her phone number earlier.
 
pr2
2003-01-30 01:37:10 PM  
"can I push in your stool?"
 
2003-01-30 01:38:22 PM  
"You're under arrest"
 
2003-01-30 01:46:17 PM  
guy: (in crowded bar/club) are you looking for a place to sit?

girl: yes

guy: (while wiping face and mouth) let me clean one off for you.
 
2003-01-30 01:48:45 PM  
Me: If I were to offer you $1 million, would you have sex with me?
Her: Well... sure. Why not?
Me: What if I were to offer you $10?
Her: Kee-rist! What kind of a girl do you think I am?
Me: I think we've established that. All I am doing is negotiating the price.

/props to Kendall
 
2003-01-30 01:50:42 PM  
"Hey, baby, I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U."

-- 2DS
 
2003-01-30 01:56:44 PM  
Touch IT,Come On Just Touch IT, Touch IT !!!
 
2003-01-30 01:58:07 PM  
/Romanian accent/
Would you like to come back to my place, bouncy, bouncy? I am no longer infected.
 
2003-01-30 02:03:59 PM  
"fark MY DICK!!!"

Must be yelled through clenched teeth to be effective.

Props to Palvar on that one.
 
2003-01-30 02:04:40 PM  
"Hi, my name is Bill. Remember that because you'll be telling it to the police later tonight."
 
2003-01-30 02:14:36 PM  
You're name must be crisco, cause you're fat in the can.
 
2003-01-30 02:20:57 PM  
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together!
 
2003-01-30 02:21:48 PM  
'Ever hear of date rape? Wanna go a few rounds?'
 
2003-01-30 02:31:44 PM  
Parkay huh? Ever try Man-butter?
 
2003-01-30 02:33:23 PM  
Do you sleep on your stomach?
no?
Can I ?
 
2003-01-30 02:35:46 PM  
If beauty were a tree, you'd be a forest.
Then again, beauty's in the eye of the beholder-and I'd love to be-holdin ya...

/I need more coffee
 
2003-01-30 02:41:23 PM  
If beauty were a tree, you'd be a forest.
Then again, beauty's in the eye of the beholder-and I'd love to be-holdin ya...

/now with voting, i still need more coffee...
 
2003-01-30 02:59:50 PM  
He-"Would you have sex with me for $10,000?"
She-"Well, um, actually, yes, I would."
He-"What about $50?"
She-"What kind of girl do you think I am?"
He-"We've already established that, now we're just heggling on the price."

/Churchill
 
2003-01-30 03:01:12 PM  
!F&$K!

Now...with voting...

He-"Would you have sex with me for $10,000?"
She-"Well, um, actually, yes, I would."
He-"What about $50?"
She-"What kind of girl do you think I am?"
He-"We've already established that, now we're just heggling on the price."

/Churchill
 
2003-01-30 03:22:04 PM  
"Baby, you're so beautiful, I would drag my balls through half a mile of broken glass just to masturbate in your shadow."
 
2003-01-30 03:24:33 PM  
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
 
2003-01-30 03:26:57 PM  
Just sex no strings.
 
2003-01-30 03:30:58 PM  
Does this smell like chloriform to you?
 
2003-01-30 03:32:09 PM  
Hi my name is Patty O'Donnell do you have any Irish in you, No? Would you like some?
 
2003-01-30 03:33:38 PM  
Hi my name is Patty O'Donnell do you have any Irish in you, No? Would you like some?

With Voting
 
2003-01-30 03:41:44 PM  
Lay your body down, and I will show you love. I will drape you in the finest black silks. I will travel to the finest Asian nations to attain this silk. Then, I will run my fingers through your hair. I will caress your body slowly and whisper in your ear while I do so. I will tell you such things as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" and "Your skin is like the most expensive Swiss chocolate money can buy" and "Your eyes are like windows to paradise," and other romantic things that will make you tremble with desire.

I will hit you doggy-style.

Love, Smooth B

[image from graphics.theonion.com too old to be available]
 
2003-01-30 03:42:26 PM  
"Hi, can I buy you a drink, or reimburse you for the one you're drinking?"

also like the faux-foreign fella:

"Tonight if you are no busy can we sex much?"
 
2003-01-30 03:48:17 PM  
"Isn't this a great bar? They run it the same way I run my bedroom. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear."
 
2003-01-30 03:52:08 PM  
Dammit. Now, with voting!

"Isn't this a great bar? They run it the same way I run my bedroom. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear."
 
2003-01-30 03:56:26 PM  
"Can I buy you one of these great new hard ciders from Dickens? You look like a chick who likes a Hard Dickens Cider."
 
2003-01-30 03:57:28 PM  
TROG DOR!!!!!
 
2003-01-30 03:58:41 PM  
Crooky
for this entry:
Me: If I were to offer you $1 million, would you have sex with me?
Her: Well... sure. Why not?
Me: What if I were to offer you $10?
Her: Kee-rist! What kind of a girl do you think I am?
Me: I think we've established that. All I am doing is negotiating the price.


/props to Kendall

How about props to the author? - George Bernard Shaw
 
2003-01-30 04:00:46 PM  
"Is that a keg in your back pocket?... Cause I wanna tap that ass."
 
2003-01-30 04:00:51 PM  
I just farted. Lets get out of here.
 
2003-01-30 04:02:18 PM  
"Do you want to sit on my Magic Lap?"

"I may not be the most attractive person here, but im the only one talking to you"

"Beauty is only a light switch away"
 
2003-01-30 04:03:15 PM  
"You know what has two thumbs and likes blow jobs?"
(Point both thumbs at yourself)
"This Guy"
 
2003-01-30 04:05:41 PM  
can i cum on your face ?

now with voting
 
2003-01-30 04:10:34 PM  
if you were a mcdonald's sandwich, you'd be a McBeatuiful.
 
2003-01-30 04:11:47 PM  
fortunately, you don't usually have to spell beautiful correctly when using this pickup line.
 
2003-01-30 04:16:15 PM  
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I'll make your Bedrock!
 
2003-01-30 04:17:32 PM  
you're really attractive...y'know, for a beautiful girl with a great body.

-Chevy Chase
 
2003-01-30 04:17:52 PM  
"Have you ever ridden the Magnum? Heh, well, not *this* Magnum.."
 
2003-01-30 04:19:40 PM  
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKING FARK

BERSERKER
 
2003-01-30 04:20:56 PM  
If I asked you to sleep with me, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
 
Displayed 50 of 455 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report