If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(LA Times)   As job losses mount ever higher, the "farewell email" has become an art form   (latimes.com) divider line 211
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

23235 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2009 at 10:05 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



211 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-02-23 10:08:16 AM
I have mine prepared:

"I've had a great time, but this wasn't one of them. As with other people we have watched leave, you will not remember me in 3 months either."
 
2009-02-23 10:08:31 AM
but leaving a turd in the boss' desk drawer will never go out of style
 
2009-02-23 10:09:05 AM
Im just going to attach a photo of my ass. That'll get the point across.
 
2009-02-23 10:09:09 AM
"Vent to your mom or boyfriend, said Alison Doyle, a job search expert on About.com."

My mom is deaf and my boyfriend is an insensitive jerk. I'm going to vent all over my Asian masseuse.
 
2009-02-23 10:11:36 AM
If I wasn't worried that it would hinder finding future work, I would tell them to kiss my lily white backside if I were to get fired.
 
2009-02-23 10:11:49 AM
I just fired 6 employees for laughing at a dildo article so I'm really getting a kick out of there replies.
 
2009-02-23 10:12:09 AM
No you can't has an exit interview, GTFO AND GFY.
 
2009-02-23 10:13:30 AM
What the fark is an "email"?
 
2009-02-23 10:13:41 AM
necropoultryac: I just fired 6 employees for laughing at a dildo article so I'm really getting a kick out of there replies.

Can you hire me to replace them? I never surf th.... never mind.
 
2009-02-23 10:14:42 AM
rikdanger: "Vent to your mom or boyfriend, said Alison Doyle, a job search expert on About.com."

My mom is deaf and my boyfriend is an insensitive jerk. I'm going to vent all over my Asian masseuse.


Gotta love euphemisms...
 
2009-02-23 10:15:55 AM
littlett's: If I wasn't worried that it would hinder finding future work, I would tell them to kiss my lily white backside if I were to get fired.

You don't have to get them to do it.. I'll do it for them...
 
2009-02-23 10:15:57 AM
I made my last farewell email into a mad-lib.
 
2009-02-23 10:16:46 AM
Mine is just going to say, " Company XYZ has decided they no longer need my services. I will be available for you to buy me drinks at some bar start at3:00 pm".
 
2009-02-23 10:18:05 AM
HoboSong: Im just going to attach a photo of my ass. That'll get the point across.

Wow...is that how they all recognize you?

Taking "Casual Fridays" a little too far, don't you think?
 
2009-02-23 10:18:18 AM
ATTN Daryl: You have been replaced by a wooden cube
 
2009-02-23 10:19:19 AM
IXI Jim IXI: HoboSong: Im just going to attach a photo of my ass. That'll get the point across.

Wow...is that how they all recognize you?

Taking "Casual Fridays" a little too far, don't you think?


Plus I let them each leave a tattoo, now Im running out of room
 
2009-02-23 10:20:30 AM
This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:

Today is my last day at XXXX. What an honor is has been to have
each of you in my life! I will really miss seeing your faces. I
want each of you to know that my life is better for knowing you. It's
hard to know how to say goodbye. I've decided to leave each of you
with something that will hopefully enhance your life. Below, you'll
find the story of my son's miraculous recovery from an auto accident
that nearly took his life 3 years ago. God gave me a miracle that I
completely did not deserve. And, He recently let me know that He
wants me to tell the world about it - What good is a miracle if no one
knows about it, right? So, please take the time to read the entire
letter. It's a long story but completely worth the read.



As of Monday, my new email address will be tXXXXX. Please drop me a
line and let me know how you're doing. I really want to know how the
story impacts you, so please email at the address included at the end
of the story and let me know.



XXXX



******************************************************************************* * *******

God has called me to tell the story you are about to read. It was
excruciating for me to relive it as I wrote the words. But, I knew
that it was God's Will for me to follow through. I believe, at some
point, it will be my son's story to tell, but until he's ready to do
so, I'll tell it. It is my prayer that this story will plant a
spiritual seed in the hearts of many and set them on the path to
discovering just how magnificent God's power and glory really is. My
story spans many pages, but please read every word of it, even if you
feel that some of the content is irrelevant to your life. Since it
was God's Will for me to write this, I have to believe that His Holy
Spirit is within these pages. And, where His Holy Spirit is,
blessings, too, will be.



In my mind, I had always pictured that if anything ever happened to
one of my children, I would just start screaming and never stop. On
April 17th, 2005, at about 9:30 a.m., in a hotel room in Dallas,
Texas, I was awakened from a dead sleep by my husband's frantic words
that I will never forget as long as I live: "TAMMY, SOMETHING'S
HAPPENED TO BRANDIN!" Brandin, my son who was 16 years old at that
time, had been critically injured.



In the midst of my hysteria, I gathered what little information there
was at the moment from Brandin's very distraught Grandmother. He had
been involved in a rollover accident and had been ejected from the
vehicle. She only knew that he was critically injured and that he was
being airlifted at that moment to Everett Tower, a Severe Trauma
hospital in Oklahoma City.



There is no description for the torment I felt on that 3-hour trip
from Dallas to Oklahoma City. My prayer is that no mother ever has to
be in a position to ask God to please forgive any sins her son may
have committed if he should die without getting the chance to ask
himself. I went back and forth between that and begging God to save
his life, and the hysteria continued. My worst fear was that he would
die with no one there who loves him. Thank God my sister and
stepmother lived in Norman, OK, so they were able to get to Everett
Tower shortly after he arrived and give me updates until I could get
there.



I knew before I walked in the hospital that Brandin had suffered a
severe blow to the head and that he had considerable damage to his
face and brain. But, nothing on earth could have prepared me for
walking in that ER and seeing my baby.... broken... lying there
lifeless. He appeared to have gauze packed in the right side of his
head where the impact occurred. I add such a gruesome detail not to
exploit Brandin's injuries but to help you, the audience, to
understand the severity of his condition. Words cannot describe the
sheer terror I felt. I just knew I'd lost him.



His list of injuries was extensive. He had crushed almost every bone
in the right side of his face except his lower jaw. They were
concerned that he could lose the use of his right eye. He had
bleeding at the base of his brain. The impact had shifted his brain
to the left side of his skull. But, of the most concern was the fact
that his right carotid artery, where it branches and goes inside the
skull to feed the right side of the brain, was completely occluded
(blocked). That, combined with all the other trauma, put him at a
very high risk for stroke. Brandin was in a drug-induced coma in an
effort to allow his brain every opportunity to heal. He would need
reconstruction on the right side of his face, but that was secondary
to the brain injury and would have to wait until his brain had healed
enough to withstand a surgery.



The paramedics had placed a device known as a "bolt" in his head,
which measured the pressure in the brain. It was measured by a
number, and if that number climbed too high,... Well, I don't know what
would have happened because I never had to find out, thank God.



Once the medical team felt that Brandin was stabilized enough to move
him from Emergency to a room in Severe Trauma ICU (STICU), the
neurosurgeon came in and talked to us. His prognosis was grim. He
gave us all the details of Brandin's injuries, but his final words
were the hardest for us to take: "I don't want you to give up hope,...
but it doesn't look good."



We couldn't go in and see him until after they had stiched his face
up. When we were finally able to go in, a nurse coldly informed me,
for what reason I still don't know, that "at the scene, Brandin was
what is known as 'Glasgow Coma Level III,' which means he was not
breathing unassisted." Another nail in the coffin of hope that
Brandin would awaken and be the same Brandin he was before. But, I
was relieved to find that all the skin was intact on his face, and the
stitches pulled it all back together again.



The tears. Oh, Lord, the tears. I truly believe mine alone could
have filled a river. They just wouldn't stop. Day ran into night - I
didn't know the difference. I just camped there beside his bed and
watched those machines breathe for the small, lifeless form that had
become my son. Everett Tower was, from what I learned during my stay,
one of the few trauma units in the U.S. that firmly believed that
family interaction with coma patients was crucial to their recovery.
We were allowed full access to come and go at any hour except for
three 30-minute shift change intervals throughout a 24-hour period.
That was yet another blessing from the Lord because I would have
absolutely gone insane had I not been able to spend every minute by
his side.



While we waited for the staff to finish stitching Brandin's face,
someone showed us where the chapel was on that floor. For the next
several weeks, if I was not with Brandin, I was in that chapel,
praying. I knew there was only one hope, and that was Jesus. Brandin
wasn't leaving that place without His help. And, I wasn't leaving
that hospital without Brandin. I needed a miracle.



The first time I walked into the chapel, I noticed a large book on a
pedestal. It contained prayers written by others who were facing
situations similar to my own. I remember that I began writing my
prayer, my written plea to God Almighty, to please save my child
because I just could not live without him. I remember great big
tears, so many tears, splashing down like rain on my words as I wrote.
I'll never forget that as long as I live. I went back weeks later
and read that prayer I'd written and saw the smeared words and relived
the anguish. It just wrenched at my soul to revisit what we'd been
through. But, at the same time, I praised God because He'd dragged us
through the worst of our ordeal.



Bits and pieces of information pertaining to the nature of the wreck
filtered to me from family members and eye-witnesses. I guess, the
fact of the matter is that I never really wanted to know exactly what
happened. I knew the image in my mind would just be too painful if
Brandin didn't survive. I could share things that I've reluctantly
learned about the accident that would more than drive the point home
that Brandin's life is a miracle, but I'll just say this: Given the
testimony of certain individuals who were present at the scene, there
is no logical, human explanation for why Brandin is alive today.



I honestly don't know how many days we'd been at Everett Tower when
this special incident occurred. As I said, my days and nights had
long since all run together. I just know Brandin was still in a coma
when this occurred. I was in the chapel, on my knees, begging God to
save his life. In John 10:27, Jesus says, "My sheep know my voice,
and I know them, and they follow me." I heard Him speak, and I know
it was Jesus because He is my shepherd, and I know His voice. He
said, "Fear not, for the Lord is upon him." I don't remember feeling
a sense of great calm afterward, but you have to realize I was in a
frantic state and had been for days, ready to trade my life for
Brandin's - or whatever it took to save him. Even though I was still
so afraid I'd lose Brandin, I clung to those words He spoke in that
chapel with every fiber of my being.



These things that we mistakenly think are priorities in our lives... are
just not. I learned that very quickly during our stay at Everett. If
you think that the world would stop turning if you were not there to
perform your job duties, to pay your bills.. Think again. In
Proverbs, we learn that "There is a way which seems right to man, but
in the end, that way leads to death." Think about that statement.
It's profound. The way that seems right to us doesn't lead to injury
or harm. It leads to death! These things that we mistake for
important will lead us to death. If it's not God, and it's not your
family, it does not belong at the top of your priority list. In an
instant, my world went from things of this world like money and
vacations to God and family. That's all that mattered. That's all
that should matter. All of a sudden, whether or not I paid the car
payment on time seemed profoundly insignificant.



Do I think God was responsible for Brandin's accident? Absolutely
not. Jesus Himself said that satan comes to steal, to kill and to
destroy. He followed that up with, "But, I am come that you may have
life, and that you may have it more abundantly."



I'm going to backtrack to several months before Brandin's accident for
just a minute, and then I'll come back to that last statement. In
Fall 2004 (5 months before Brandin's accident), I reunited with my
mother, with whom I'd had no relationship for over 10 years. She and
I developed a relationship again over the months following our
reunion. She had completely given her life to Christ, and He had
changed her life so significantly that I found myself very drawn to
her faith. Many times, during our conversations that winter and
spring, I confided in her about how deeply I regretted that I had
robbed my children of the opportunity to grow up in Christ (by not
taking them to church). She knew well how this tore at my spirit.



I know now that my reconciliation with my mother was part of God's
Plan. It was not by accident that Brandin was airlifted to the
hospital right across the street from where she worked in Oklahoma
City - A breezeway even connected her place of work to Everett! My
mother is the one who led Brandin to give his life to Christ during
his hospital stay.



So, now, back to that previous line of thought. Do I think it was
God's Will for Brandin to be in that accident? Not at all. It is
never God's Will for harm to befall us. If God had a choice, we would
never feel pain and would spend our time here on earth so close to Him
that nothing evil could come close to us. In the case of Brandin's
accident, Satan seized the opportunity to cause misery, and God
stepped in, turned it all around, and gave us the miracle of Brandin's
life being saved. But, most importantly, He gave us the miracle of
Brandin's soul being saved. Jesus said, "But, I am come that you may
have life, and you may have it more abundantly." The life that Jesus
is referring to in this passage is that which comes from salvation.



I honestly don't know exactly how long Brandin was in the coma. The
closest I can guess is 13 days. As anyone would expect, he developed
pneumonia, as though things weren't complicated enough. The doctors
had prepared us for the worst because the brunt of the trauma to his
brain had been to the front and right side, which determine such
things as behavior, personality and decision-making. At that point, I
just wanted him to wake up so we could begin dealing with whatever we
had to deal with.



My husband, Brad, had gone back home to work for a few days and had
just returned on the evening that they started reducing the Ativan
(the drug that was keeping Brandin in the coma). Brad desperately
wanted to get a hotel room, just for the night, because he absolutely
could not sleep in the waiting room (or even the chapel), with all the
coming and going of people, never mind the lights that couldn't be
shut off. The nurse on duty that night encouraged me to try to get
some sleep because Brandin would be, as she put it, "a handful" when
he woke up. So, I agreed to go to a hotel, but when we were pulling
away from the hospital, I just started crying and panicking and told
him I couldn't do it. I could not stand the thought of waking up to
the phone ringing to give me bad news.



Since Brad could see a hotel room was out of the question, he talked
me into staying in the pickup in the hospital parking lot. At least,
there, it was quiet and semi-dark. So, I agreed to that, making sure
to give the nurses specific instructions to call me if ANYTHING -
ANYTHING - happened.



My phone rang at 5:30 a.m. It was the hospital. I was scared out of
my mind to answer that call. By the time I got my phone opened to
answer it, my hand was shaking so horribly, and my teeth were
chattering. The nurse said, "He's awake, he's pulled his ventilator
completely out, and he told me he wants something to drink NOW!" I
cannot explain the emotion I felt at that moment. Total elation.
Standing in awe of a loving God that heard my desperate cries for His
help, told me he was handling the situation, and then proved it.
Praise God!!! Just knowing Brandin could speak gave me all the hope
in the world that he would fully recover. That elevator couldn't
carry me quickly enough to that boy.



Throughout that day, they continued to reduce the Ativan and morphine.
The nurses had all warned us that Brandin would, like all other head
trauma patients, act completely out of character for awhile after
waking up. He did. He knew his name, his birthday, his parents'
names, etc., but he was a looney toon for the first few days. Just as
we'd been told, he was a handful. He kept us all busy, busy.



He had to learn to walk again. It's amazing how quickly muscle
atrophy sets in. He picked it back up quickly though. Within two
days, I was able to get him to the bathroom and back without any help.



Before his accident, Brandin was a gamer (online video game addict)
who drank too much Mountain Dew and could type faster than anyone I
know. I wanted so much for him to be the person he was before. Over
the next few days, it became apparent that he was completely the same
person. We could hardly get him to drink water - He wanted soft
drinks (only his preference had changed to Dr. Pepper). And, when my
brother (who is also a gamer) came to visit him the day he woke up,
the first thing out of Brandin's mouth was, "Hey, Uncle Glenn, what
level did you get to?" Glenn said, "29. What about you?" Brandin
said, "35." That one little snippet of interaction was God's promise
fulfilled - My Brandin was going to recover from this. It was
astonishing to me. If you could have seen him that first day... I just
knew I'd lost him forever. And, yet, I sat there listening to him
talk about games to my brother like old times. Wow! As a further
testament to his complete recovery, he can still out-type anyone. God
is awesome.



Brandin still had many hurdles to overcome. Only a few days later,
the doctors felt he was doing well enough to withstand the
reconstruction on the right side of his face. So, now, we can call
him "Titanium Man." The surgery took 7 excruciating hours. And, he
woke up to a surprise: They wired his jaw shut to set that top jaw
bone. So, that was an ordeal.



A day after the surgery, the doctors discovered something that was
probably there all along: He had damage to the 6th cranial nerve, so
his left eye couldn't move left of center. Several months and visits
to an eye institute later, we were given the good news that surgery
wouldn't be necessary because it was repairing itself.



After Brandin's surgery, he was moved out of STICU and into the
regular trauma unit. During his recovery, we would go for walks
throughout the hospital. We were always met with much love by the
families in the STICU waiting rooms. They clung to Brandin as their
hope that their loved ones would some day walk and talk and live
again. I know seeing Brandin gave them the strength to endure the
wait and the faith that healing would come.



From the day of Brandin's accident, my mother was a significant source
of strength for me. Her faith dragged me through that ordeal. She
had no doubt that God would heal Brandin. She repeatedly gave me
scripture verses to confirm the fact that Brandin would be healed.
She prayed over him. And, a few days before Brandin was released from
his month-long stay in the hospital, she led him to accept Jesus as
his Savior. About 2 years later, Brandin was baptized in a lake at
church camp. Recall, now, that I had confided in my mother on several
occasions (prior to Brandin's accident) about my regret that I had
deprived my children of a relationship with Christ. Do you see how
God took a nightmare and turned it into an answered prayer?



His carotid artery was still occluded. From the beginning, the
doctors had told us that it just wasn't an option to perform surgery
to fix it. The risks completely outweighed the benefits. They
explained that the human body is a magnificent thing. It has a backup
system, just incase anything should ever obstruct the flow of one of
the carotids. And, what's more, the body actually has the capability
to grow new blood vessels in response to an occlusion. So, their
treatment plan was 6 months on blood thinner.



After the 6 months, I cried another river as the ultrasound screen
confirmed that the artery was still occluded. But, God is good. I
privately discussed with the doctor what the repercussions of the
occlusion would be. Would it shorten Brandin's life? The doctor told
me that many, many people live with only one carotid, and they have
completely normal lives. And, no, the occlusion would not shorten his
life.



Brandin lives a completely normal life today. His school faculty made
a decision to let him pass without making up that last month of school
that he missed. And, he was able to start his junior year that next
fall with the rest of his class. He was a 2007 high school graduate.
What an accomplishment for everything that could have stood in his
way. He couldn't have done any of it without the Lord.



If you have doubts that God exists or that Jesus is God's Son, please
call or email me. This is not the only miracle he has given me. Of
course, this is the greatest miracle, but it is far from the only one.
He's just waiting to give you miracles too. The Holy Spirit lives in
my heart, and He tells me that Jesus is God's Son.



About 6 months ago, I fulfilled the commitment I'd made to myself to
read the Bible from the beginning of the Old Testament to the end of
the New. I always knew that the answers to all my questions in life
would be in that Book. I was right. There is NO question in this
life that God didn't supply an answer for in His Word. And, the
blessings that came from it are immeasurable. I can't even explain
what it did. It changed my whole life. Reading the words in that
Book literally caused the blinders to be ripped off my eyes. You've
heard - probably even sang - the words to Amazing Grace, "Was blind,
but now I see." I don't think I ever truly understood the meaning of
those words until I read the Bible. Spiritually, I was blind. But,
now, I see. Praise God.



Maybe you don't know Jesus. Or, maybe you gave your life to Christ
but have fallen back into sin. Please, I beg of you - Turn to Him.
Truly give you heart to Him. Turn away from the stronghold satan has
on your life. Trust Jesus to change your life. And, He will! Do you
think that something you've done is too wrong to deserve forgiveness?
You couldn't be further from right. Sin is sin. It's all unholy to
our Holy God. That's why He sent Jesus. Don't let satan tell you
that what you've done is unforgivable. Jesus says that it IS
forgivable, whatever it is, as long as you confess it to Him and truly
seek forgiveness.



Or, maybe you're not a Christian at all. Maybe you belong to another
religion. This plea is especially for you! If your god is not a
personal, loving god, he is not God! Please take some time to test me
on that. God is interactive and loving and waiting to fill your heart
with love and your life with miracles. There is only one way to God,
and that is through Jesus Christ. I know this because it is only
through Jesus that I pray to God, and He answers. Daily. That's a
pretty good indication, in my opinion, that Jesus is the doorway to
God.



No matter what your situation, Jesus can work with it. He can turn it
around and align it with His Will. I waited so many years - so many
years! - thinking it was going to be so hard to give my life
completely to Christ, thinking it was going to be such a difficult
transition. That is satan's biggest lie! It was so easy. When I
finally said, "Okay, Lord. I'm yours," the transition was so easy and
so smooth and so right. I cannot believe I waited for so many years
and took the chance of dying before I did it.



Don't wait. You do not know when you will die. It could be today.
After you die, it is just simply too late. Every second of every day,
the hand of Christ is extended to you. Please just reach up and take
it now. You have nothing to lose and eternity to gain. The "things"
of this life are meaningless. It's the reason Jesus lived his entire
life with only the clothes he was wearing. He knew the harm that came
from loving "things." Things only bring death. Jesus brings life.
He said Himself, "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates
his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." He was
referring to the "things" of this life - fortune, fame, beauty.
Choose life through Him, and you'll soon realize how insignificant
those "things" are.



By accepting Jesus as your Savior, you will invite the Holy Spirit of
God Himself to come into your heart and change your life. And, most
importantly, you'll save your soul for eternity. There simply IS
nothing you could do in this life that is more important. Please take
1 minute to say this prayer.



Jesus, I'm a sinner. I've done so many things wrong. But, my heart
is sincere, and I'm asking you now to please forgive me for my sins.
Please come into my heart. Change me. I believe that you are the Son
of God. I believe you died for my sins, that you rose from the dead,
and that you now sit at the right hand of God. Set me free, Jesus,
from the chains I've allowed satan to bind me with. In return, I
promise to grow in my knowledge of you, to learn about you and to
honor you all the days of my life. Amen.



Please, if you have any questions, or if you feel like I could help
you in your walk with the Lord, don't hesitate to email or call me.
And, I always welcome miracle testimonies!



Your sister in Christ,

XXXX
 
2009-02-23 10:20:48 AM
- our mega corp leaves the C$ share open to push out updates

- software i use in my job allows me to lookup the most recent ip address of nw userids

- old fashioned batch file uses UNC to copy files to the startup directory for all my friends and all i have to do is double click just before i leave - the next day what fun they shall all have nothing malicious just fun
 
2009-02-23 10:21:15 AM
Dear office,

My sincere apologies for rubbing my balls on your phone receivers.
 
2009-02-23 10:22:22 AM
necropoultryac: I just fired 6 employees for laughing at a dildo article so I'm really getting a kick out of there replies.


Was the 'dildo' you?
 
2009-02-23 10:25:03 AM
boobsrgood: What the fark is an "email"?

It's like a text message except you can use more than 160 characters, and it's harder to send to a cell phone.
 
2009-02-23 10:25:51 AM
 
2009-02-23 10:26:36 AM
So long, Stinktown!
 
2009-02-23 10:27:49 AM
CouchMonkey: This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:
....


tl;dr
excessive use of the g-word.
 
2009-02-23 10:28:03 AM
pope183: - our mega corp leaves the C$ share open to push out updates

- software i use in my job allows me to lookup the most recent ip address of nw userids

- old fashioned batch file uses UNC to copy files to the startup directory for all my friends and all i have to do is double click just before i leave - the next day what fun they shall all have nothing malicious just fun


Put shortcuts to all the executables in the startup folder. heh, that would be a fun one. also, delete taskmgr.exe or rename it.
 
2009-02-23 10:28:08 AM
I worked doing outsourced tech support for a major NY investment bank/broker...whatever they call themselves. We were off site, near Boston. After a long term contract, this place farked it up and lost the contract. I saw the writing on the wall and was looking. I got a new job on a Tuesday, the next day we were all told we would be laid off. Fark them...they called me into HR for an exit interview. I pretty much told them they could fark up a wet dream. Luckily, I already had another job...many friends weren't so lucky...
 
2009-02-23 10:28:28 AM
CouchMonkey: This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:

Today is my last day at XXXX. What an honor is has been to have
each of you in my life! I will really miss seeing your faces. I
want each of you to know that my life is better for knowing you. It's
hard to know how to say goodbye. I've decided to leave each of you
with something that will hopefully enhance your life. Below, you'll
find the story of my son's miraculous recovery from an auto accident
that nearly took his life 3 years ago. God gave me a miracle that I
completely did not deserve. And, He recently let me know that He
wants me to tell the world about it - What good is a miracle if no one
knows about it, right? So, please take the time to read the entire
letter. It's a long story but completely worth the read.



As of Monday, my new email address will be tXXXXX. Please drop me a
line and let me know how you're doing. I really want to know how the
story impacts you, so please email at the address included at the end
of the story and let me know.



XXXX



******************************************************************************* * *******

God has called me to tell the story you are about to read. It was
excruciating for me to relive it as I wrote the words. But, I knew
that it was God's Will for me to follow through. I believe, at some
point, it will be my son's story to tell, but until he's ready to do
so, I'll tell it. It is my prayer that this story will plant a
spiritual seed in the hearts of many and set them on the path to
discovering just how magnificent God's power and glory really is. My
story spans many pages, but please read every word of it, even if you
feel that some of the content is irrelevant to your life. Since it
was God's Will for me to write this, I have to believe that His Holy
Spirit is within these pages. And, where His Holy Spirit is,
blessings, too, will be.



In my mind, I had always pictured that if anything ever happened to
one of my children, I would just start screaming and never stop. On
April 17th, 2005, at about 9:30 a.m., in a hotel room in Dallas,
Texas, I was awakened from a dead sleep by my husband's frantic words
that I will never forget as long as I live: "TAMMY, SOMETHING'S
HAPPENED TO BRANDIN!" Brandin, my son who was 16 years old at that
time, had been critically injured.



In the midst of my hysteria, I gathered what little information there
was at the moment from Brandin's very distraught Grandmother. He had
been involved in a rollover accident and had been ejected from the
vehicle. She only knew that he was critically injured and that he was
being airlifted at that moment to Everett Tower, a Severe Trauma
hospital in Oklahoma City.



There is no description for the torment I felt on that 3-hour trip
from Dallas to Oklahoma City. My prayer is that no mother ever has to
be in a position to ask God to please forgive any sins her son may
have committed if he should die without getting the chance to ask
himself. I went back and forth between that and begging God to save
his life, and the hysteria continued. My worst fear was that he would
die with no one there who loves him. Thank God my sister and
stepmother lived in Norman, OK, so they were able to get to Everett
Tower shortly after he arrived and give me updates until I could get
there.



I knew before I walked in the hospital that Brandin had suffered a
severe blow to the head and that he had considerable damage to his
face and brain. But, nothing on earth could have prepared me for
walking in that ER and seeing my baby.... broken... lying there
lifeless. He appeared to have gauze packed in the right side of his
head where the impact occurred. I add such a gruesome detail not to
exploit Brandin's injuries but to help you, the audience, to
understand the severity of his condition. Words cannot describe the
sheer terror I felt. I just knew I'd lost him.



His list of injuries was extensive. He had crushed almost every bone
in the right side of his face except his low ...


Can you summarize that for me in about one sentence?
 
2009-02-23 10:29:31 AM
and the new Buzz word is Furlough.
 
2009-02-23 10:30:29 AM
pope183: - old fashioned batch file uses UNC to copy files to the startup directory for all my friends and all i have to do is double click just before i leave - the next day what fun they shall all have nothing malicious just fun

A batch file with 'del C:*.* /S /F' isn't malicious? :)
 
2009-02-23 10:30:42 AM
CouchMonkey: This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:

(snip insanely long God-spam wall-of-text)


Every try LINKING to something?

/tl;dr
 
2009-02-23 10:30:56 AM
So burning bridges is the rage now?

How professional.
 
2009-02-23 10:31:10 AM
CouchMonkey: It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:

I was in tears of laughter thinking about someone screaming and never stopping. I mean, come on, you have to sleep and eat sometime. And screaming while in a public toilet could bring all kinds of unwarranted attention.

I didn't read the rest because too much Jeebus this and God that.
 
2009-02-23 10:31:17 AM
No matter how civilly anyone leaves here it seems that management and HR go out of their way to screw them over when it comes to unemployment or even giving people a recommendation letter.

THAT i dont understand.

The last tech that got canned wasnt stealing, and didnt email pictures of his penis to 80,000 customers, but still they trashed him when another company called up inquiring about hiring him.

It makes me uncomfortable to work here when i hear shiat like that.
 
2009-02-23 10:31:20 AM
CouchMonkey: long story

Reply All:

TL;DR
 
2009-02-23 10:32:45 AM
CouchMonkey: This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:

Is it because they were, quite literally, bored to tears reading that? Or were they weeping at the stupidity of the person who actually thought people would want to read that drippy, glurge-filled, pointless email?
 
2009-02-23 10:33:31 AM
Here's mine:

BYE! GOOD!
 
2009-02-23 10:34:13 AM
PS I left a double decker in the toilet
 
2009-02-23 10:34:19 AM
"In May, lawyer Shinyung Oh was let go from the San Francisco branch of the Paul Hastings law firm six days after losing a baby. The seven-year associate, who said she was told her previous, glowing evaluations may have been "overinflated," composed a blistering e-mail to the partners and fired it off to about 1,000 colleagues around the world.

She accused the firm's partners of "heartlessness" and of blaming her for failing to generate business "that should have been brought in by each of you."


Honey .... you're a lawyer who worked for laywers.

/live by the sword, die by the sword
 
2009-02-23 10:34:25 AM
wyrlss: Can you summarize that for me in about one sentence?

Brandin's in a world of hurt.

Also, someone named their kid "Brandin."
 
2009-02-23 10:34:45 AM
i266.photobucket.com

FTFA: Shugars, 34, who left Google to become director of ad operations for the music streaming website Imeem.

So this particular dude didn't get laid off, he got another job. So, man up Nancy and just say TTFN.

Don't a lot of companies knacker your account the nanosecond you get a pink slip, so sad farewells aren't in the offing?
 
2009-02-23 10:37:10 AM
wyrlss: Can you summarize that for me in about one sentence?

Kid nearly dies; walks and talks again because God blah blah blah.
 
2009-02-23 10:39:25 AM
Prank Call of Cthulhu: wyrlss: Can you summarize that for me in about one sentence?

Brandin's in a world of hurt.

Also, someone named their kid "Brandin."


And God (amidst something called "doctors" and "nurses" who, I gather from the story are some type of furniture) healed the child after Satan crashed his car.
 
2009-02-23 10:40:14 AM
chopit: wyrlss: Can you summarize that for me in about one sentence?

Kid nearly dies; walks and talks again because God blah blah blah.


What if God was trying to kill him and actually Satan foiled the plans?
 
2009-02-23 10:40:27 AM
Thoreau Like A Girl: CouchMonkey: This was the most epic farewell email that I got. It had the wntire office of about 600 people in tears:
....

tl;dr
excessive use of the g-word.


I think you're overlooking that - even if the farewell email was probably read by about 25% of the employees - it cost the company a decent amount in itself. I (completely guesstimate) it would take the average reader about 15 minutes to read that.

150 employees * 15 minutes = 2250 minutes spent reading it, or 37.5 hours, or almost one week of an FTE, or $1,000. Not bad cost for a farewell email if that's what the author was after.

How epic it would be if it was completely fabricated.

When I resigned, my farewell email to our department of 45 suggested that my fellow employees not forget to enjoy life (we AVERAGED about 60 hours per week). Within 6 months 5 people had quit (including my former boss), some without jobs lined up.
 
2009-02-23 10:40:40 AM
CouchMonkey: Your sister in Christ,

XXXX


You know, I bet Mr. XXXX has one of these:

img261.imageshack.us
 
2009-02-23 10:40:46 AM
Delphis: pope183: - old fashioned batch file uses UNC to copy files to the startup directory for all my friends and all i have to do is double click just before i leave - the next day what fun they shall all have nothing malicious just fun

A batch file with 'del C:*.* /S /F' isn't malicious? :)


I had a much nastier one.

At a previous company I had a little batch file which would allow me to add or remove registry keys across the entire domain (I was domain admin). (it would actually allow me to run any program on all machines in the domain)

Just think of the mess you could do with that.

We had a recent leaver at my current place. He was only first line support, he had already had his probationary period extended twice as he wasn't shaping up, then we let him go.

He then sent an e-mail to one of the guys on the 1st line support slagging off almost everyone in the office. The hilarity of it, to me anyway, was the fact that I was one of the few who got mentioned in a positive light, when I was one of the people who recommended we get rid of him for being useless.
 
2009-02-23 10:41:02 AM
So long, and thanks for the rabies.....
 
2009-02-23 10:41:41 AM
Where do these people work where you're even allowed to touch your computer after you find out you've been laid off? My last place did the "Don't touch anything, we'll escort you out" deal. Bastards.

/having root might have had something to do with that
//but searching my bag?
 
2009-02-23 10:42:09 AM
Shakespeare's Monkey:
Don't a lot of companies knacker your account the nanosecond you get a pink slip, so sad farewells aren't in the offing?


I know I do.
 
2009-02-23 10:43:11 AM
IKillBugs: So burning bridges is the rage now?

How professional.


More like Companies throwing the employees off the bridge.
 
Displayed 50 of 211 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report