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(enewscouier.com)   Man awakens to find crochet needle "completely embedded" in his urethra. Fark: does not know how it got there   (enewscourier.com) divider line 218
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12388 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2009 at 12:29 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



218 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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xtonyx
2009-02-20 09:32:27 AM
passed out after jerking off if you ask me, i do it all the time......
 
40yoVirgin
2009-02-20 09:37:49 AM
This is sounding like a fishy story!
 
Two Dogs Farking [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 09:46:43 AM
Penis

/owww
 
Caradoc [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 09:48:22 AM
@xtonyx - you pass out after jerking off with a crochet needle in your urethra? All the time?
 
NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 10:17:32 AM
C-R-O-C-H-E-T
Find out what it means to me
C-R-O-C-H-E-T
Take care, TCB
 
Diogenes [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 10:20:36 AM
40yoVirgin: This is sounding like a fishy story!

I see what you did there.

That's definitely one thing of kink I can pass on.
 
40yoVirgin
2009-02-20 10:45:54 AM
Diogenes: That's definitely one thing of kink I can pass on.

heh... me as well. Besides, I'd use a yarn needle... a crochet needle would likely flay me open.

/tiny peter club
//lol
 
dstanley [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 11:18:16 AM
I'll be curled up in a fetal position in my bunk...
 
jaylectricity [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 11:46:05 AM
Caradoc: @xtonyx - you pass out after jerking off with a crochet needle in your urethra? All the time?

Welcome to Fark. *checks join date* Uhh...welcome back. We use these cool buttons now to automatically quote the people we are replying to. It's really quite handy.
 
CrankMyBlueSax
2009-02-20 11:54:08 AM
He was knitting a sweater for his penis and things got a little out of hand.

/got nothing
//drug test candidate perhaps?
 
SpaceyCat [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:13:35 PM
Holy fark! Who the hell uses a crochet hook for sounding!?!?!??! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

I'll never be able to look at my crochet hooks the same way again!
 
SushiJoe [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:15:13 PM
this reminds me of a movie about a sandbox
 
ReeferChiefer
2009-02-20 12:31:50 PM
i202.photobucket.com
 
Epossumondas
2009-02-20 12:32:21 PM
I think he was using a do-it-yourself kidney stone removal kit.
 
macadamnut
2009-02-20 12:32:26 PM
AAAAAAaaaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
 
Oldiron_79
2009-02-20 12:32:26 PM
Just like everyone that comes to the E.R. with something lodged in their ass "fell on it".
 
pounddawg
2009-02-20 12:32:56 PM
owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow
 
WatchoutJoe
2009-02-20 12:33:26 PM
Sounding makes me and the baby jesus cry, cry, cry.
/just says no to sounding
 
Adam Baum
2009-02-20 12:33:55 PM
Link (new window)

the more you know
 
Walker [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:34:25 PM
PEGGY!!!!! BOBBY!!!!! BOY, I TELL YOU WHAT, HELP!!!
 
awaken101
2009-02-20 12:34:31 PM
*crosses legs*
 
onebadgungan
2009-02-20 12:34:39 PM
40yoVirgin: This is sounding like a fishy story!

Dang. Beat me to it.
 
rhodabear
2009-02-20 12:34:40 PM
No Hank Hill references? For shame!
 
dericwater [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:35:03 PM
Sounds like a great vid clip: one-guy one-needle
 
Wendy's Chili [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:35:08 PM
WTF is sounding?
 
Hitchens' Personal Assistant
2009-02-20 12:35:21 PM
Atleast he didn't cross over to the ever so subtle difference between crochet and croquet...


/that's how I read it first
//damn! that had to hurt
 
kittyhas1000legs
2009-02-20 12:35:23 PM
That sound you just heard was thousands of farkers crossing their legs and making some sort of gutteral oof/ugh sound
 
olapbill
2009-02-20 12:35:41 PM
jaylectricity: Caradoc: @xtonyx - you pass out after jerking off with a crochet needle in your urethra? All the time?

Welcome to Fark. *checks join date* Uhh...welcome back. We use these cool buttons now to automatically quote the people we are replying to. It's really quite handy.

unless you are on the mobile website. In which case you don't have that luxury.
 
Pinner
2009-02-20 12:36:22 PM
Swordfight
 
otterly_delicious
2009-02-20 12:36:35 PM
Someone should have told him it's not a crotch needle.
 
skinink
2009-02-20 12:37:03 PM
I'm very sure that the Catholic church is definitely against this as a form of birth control.
 
thenateman
2009-02-20 12:37:43 PM
FTA: he went to sleep with an ex-girlfriend and when he awakened, the needle was completely embedded, said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely....

He and the girlfriend had been drinking...

I knew alcohol would be involved.
 
JonnyBGoode
2009-02-20 12:37:53 PM
wih?
 
chef_riggy
2009-02-20 12:38:26 PM
Ouch!

/Just, ouch!
 
soze
2009-02-20 12:38:57 PM
Yes, crochet hooks are definitely the future of modern bifurcation techniques.
 
DrunkenDeus
2009-02-20 12:39:03 PM
... Sounds like a friday night?
 
dopirt
2009-02-20 12:39:05 PM
Are Crochet needles hooked on the end?
 
cowgirl toffee [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:39:06 PM
That's when you know your party was a complete success.

No one has fun till the sewing circles has had a good time!
 
Pinner
2009-02-20 12:39:27 PM
Crochet needles? In my urethra?
 
WatchoutJoe
2009-02-20 12:39:37 PM
Wendy's Chili: WTF is sounding?

It's when you put stuff into your pee hole.
/cringes
 
Werehamster
2009-02-20 12:39:38 PM
I hate it when that happens to me.
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:39:57 PM
www.w3.org

FTFA: The man, who is not being named pending investigation, said he went to sleep with an ex-girlfriend ...

Mystery solved; and I'll bet alcohol or drugs played a supporting role.
 
KangTheMad [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:40:21 PM
otterly_delicious: Someone should have told him it's not a crotch needle.

+1 Nice one.
 
Cubicle Jockey
2009-02-20 12:41:04 PM
It's really quite handy annoying.

That damn button is the bane of people with ignore lists, since known trolls end up having their points displayed twenty times in a thread by people who think replying to trolls is important, and that it requires quoting their entire whrgrbl rant to do so.
 
IXI Jim IXI
2009-02-20 12:41:32 PM
Apparently someone didn't realize it's pronounced "Crow-Shay" and got a little confused.
 
KnifeStrauzen
2009-02-20 12:41:40 PM
That's gutsy
 
thinks_on_feet
2009-02-20 12:41:53 PM
*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!1!!

/wife is a prodigious knitter
 
tzzhc4
2009-02-20 12:42:13 PM
i288.photobucket.com
 
LlamaGirl [TotalFark]
2009-02-20 12:42:20 PM
I am not a guy, but this makes me gag in horror.

/shriek
 
Pinner
2009-02-20 12:42:21 PM
He probably had whiskey dick, and a bright idea to keep it straight.
 
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