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(Philadelphia Inquirer)   Man causes $60,000 in damage at church because his lighter wouldn't work   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

10897 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2003 at 10:58 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

33 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-01-29 11:02:58 PM  
hate to be him at the pearly gates
2003-01-29 11:03:28 PM  
Damn, imagine how much damage if the lighter had worked.
2003-01-29 11:05:00 PM  
It's what his lawyer told him to say.
2003-01-29 11:05:16 PM  
Do we blame Terrorism or video games for this?

Oh, and was he, perchance, a postal employee?
2003-01-29 11:05:30 PM  
Only in Philly!!
Only at Christmas!!
Only in a Catholic Church!!
2003-01-29 11:05:30 PM  
It was the man with the terrible smell!
2003-01-29 11:06:28 PM  
Good excuse-he was probably acting out because the priest molested him.
2003-01-29 11:07:28 PM  
Mr. Johnson, you can either go to jail or become a priest. Which one is it going to be?
2003-01-29 11:10:42 PM  
Why do people like this even bother with excuses? Do they think the cops will let him off? "Oh, your lighter didn't work? I hate when that happens. Well, off you go then."
2003-01-29 11:13:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-29 11:20:19 PM  
From an incident that caused slightly more damage:

[image from too old to be available]

Does this look like The Sims to anyone else?
2003-01-29 11:21:11 PM  
So what's the theme song to this story, "Gimme that old time religion" or "Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight"?
2003-01-29 11:21:18 PM  
That picture is from the pharmaceutical plant blast article on CNN.
2003-01-29 11:29:45 PM  
Trogdor the Churchinator strikes again!
2003-01-29 11:38:45 PM  
2003-01-29 11:41:00 PM  
Trash the church because the lighter you try to use to light a candle in church doesn't work....?

Yep. That'll get him into heaven.
2003-01-29 11:58:21 PM  
I think we should ban violent video games. Those destruction simulations are the reason this guy was capable of destroying and vandalizing the church.
2003-01-29 11:59:43 PM  
I almost get the feeling like there might be something deeper amiss with this fella.

Fry him, that way we can be sure.
2003-01-30 12:04:19 AM  
Sure, the easy thing to do would be to blame it on the lighter...

I'm going to say that he went apeshiat because of that NERF link...
2003-01-30 12:08:48 AM  
Obviously, it makes no sense to blame the lighter. If this man had been properly trained to use a lighter from a young age, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Frankly, I blame the media. There is so much irresponsible lighter use in Hollywood movies today that this sort of thing was bound to happen.

What was in his stereo when this happened?
2003-01-30 12:17:10 AM  
Antisemantic I'll chalk you up as a vote for "gimme that old time religion" then?
2003-01-30 12:39:02 AM  
The stress-management issue poster child... or is that just the speed talking?...
2003-01-30 12:39:32 AM
2003-01-30 12:40:16 AM  
What Would Jesus Break?
2003-01-30 01:02:56 AM  
If he truly couldn't get the lighter to work correctly, then it's the fault of the Whitehouse and the News Media for not educating the public in the true lighter technique.
2003-01-30 02:24:19 AM  
*Highway workers, give em a brake*

At that point in time, I imagine someone taking out the brake pads and heaving them at some guy in orange, knocking his ass to the ground

Wow...I think thats as most of topic as one can get...
2003-01-30 02:32:24 AM  
Well, dumbass religion aside, this guy's the major asshole here, Antisemantic...if he were worshiping Dionysus and couldn't light his lighter, he'd have knocked over and broken all the wine vats. And that would make me very angry.
2003-01-30 03:36:49 AM  
"Anger Management" maen anything?
2003-01-30 06:21:30 AM  
What I want to know is, did he finally light that damn votive candle?
2003-01-30 06:35:34 AM  
I'm guessing he'll be lighting a lot of them as penance . . . maybe someone should send this guy a case of safety matches?
2003-01-30 07:12:30 AM  
Why did I read "lighter" as "lightsaber"?

Too much JKII, I guess.
2003-01-30 12:41:05 PM  
"should we blame the matches,
should we blame the fire,
or the doctors that allowed him to expire?"

....and so on.
2003-01-30 11:07:24 PM  
1 phrase:

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