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(NCBuy)   Sex Study: Americans Think They're `Average' In The Sack   ( ) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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9794 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2003 at 7:27 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

251 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-29 07:55:17 PM  
Well thats no suprise every yank I banged bored the hell out of me! Just watch "Sex and the City" once and that says it all. Its just part of there culture.7
2003-01-29 07:56:52 PM  
01-29-03 07:52:34 PM Inaditch
I've always considered myself average, at best. My long-time girlfriend tells me I'm the best she's had, and she has plenty for comparison. (She's a lot more "experienced" than I am). However, I somehow doubt I'm this gifted wonder-lover. There's something that works really well between the two of us. I'd probably be pathetically lame with someone I picked up at a club, or something.

Does that make any sense?

Perfectly. No two people are the same in bed (though I would enjoy testing this out with some twins) and what works with one person won't with another. Emotional connection also plays a huge role.
2003-01-29 07:57:02 PM  
01-29-03 07:48:36 PM Otisburg
I'd give myself a 8 but I'm always striving to be a 10. Just haven't had much opportunity to test my new skillz

I'm sure there are quite a few farkers that will be more than happy to help you test your new skillz....
2003-01-29 07:57:03 PM  
I was merely average until I was able to combine sex, food and television at once. Of course, pastrami is the most sensuous of all the smoked meats.
2003-01-29 07:57:06 PM  
SchlingFo - I'm not really super comfortable with myself... in fact I felt depressed until I talked with her again this afternoon. The reason I asked her at all is that I want to make sex pleasurable for her, because I know that I'll be happy with anything she does with me... I get goosebumps being in the same room as her!
2003-01-29 07:57:33 PM  
You're right about that Millay. I asked, got denied, and got rid of him.
2003-01-29 07:58:52 PM  
1 h0pez us h4x0rs c4n g3t l41d 0n3 day!!!1~ LOLOLOL! omg, sfu fag0tz.

Haha. Stupid hackers.

Seriously, though, I've never had sex... I'm not ugly, I swear! I'm just to nice to be a boyfriend, I think.... Damn!
2003-01-29 07:59:57 PM  
Cryinoutoud - Thank you for your confidence ;) Her and I get along with each other really well, and we wouldn't have been sharing that side of us at all if we didn't both really love each other.

But to get myself back on thread-track... I'm below average now, but I'm getting better
2003-01-29 08:01:01 PM  

The reason I asked her at all is that I want to make sex pleasurable for her,

Dude, that right there puts you WAY ahead of the game. There are so many people, guys and chicks, that care only about themselves (in and out of the bedroom). To put someone else's pleasure ahead of yours says a lot.
2003-01-29 08:01:25 PM  
no, seriously...i am good in bed. even my mom says so. i no...seriously..i AM good in bed. i know how to work that bizanks.
2003-01-29 08:02:17 PM  
Then he told his best friend I was just too weird for him.

The weirder the better, in my book. Or else it can get boring.

Weird = Open honest
2003-01-29 08:02:38 PM  
I hate when girls ask for it, and they act all mature and experienced, then you stick your cock up their ass and they get all biatchy, saying shiat like "I'M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
2003-01-29 08:04:06 PM  
35 percent of women think George Clooney would be great in bed, 22 percent believe Ben Affleck is a sex stud and 20 percent think Vin Diesel is the best lover in Hollywood.

You know the women in this study are fantasizing. George was your typical 8 minutes and then falls asleep, Ben just lays there and Vin does not have the common courtesy to give a reach-around.
2003-01-29 08:04:09 PM  
Bizanks!!! Yeah!!!!
I call it noobin.
2003-01-29 08:04:30 PM  
1. Americans get laid more than any other nationality.

2. Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad it's still pretty good.

3. There are other things in life besides sex.

-- Give f*cking a break. Try making love for a while.

(Ahhhhhhgggggggg! The flames! They burn!)
2003-01-29 08:05:31 PM  
I actually am quite a bit above average. I wouldn't actually know that except that I have been told so by someone who would know.

I also know the secrets of great nookie, which I won't divulge here, but it sounds like some people here already know at least some of them.

Pushing the buttons reeeel good is certainly a part of it, but you've got to know where the buttons are and the right way to push them. Oddly, many women don't even know where all of them are.
2003-01-29 08:05:32 PM  
DirkValentine - ?

[image from too old to be available]

Well, screw you, buddy!
2003-01-29 08:05:51 PM  
Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo hahahahahahahahahaha
2003-01-29 08:06:48 PM  
I must say that I'm great in bed. Or at least that is what I'm told. They keep coming back so I guess they aren't lying to me. Or maybe I'm just easy...
2003-01-29 08:06:49 PM  
OBB, why don't you just let her drive for a while? Enjoy the scenery.
2003-01-29 08:07:24 PM  
Who cares?

I mean really I'm not interested how Billy and Johnny are in the sack.
2003-01-29 08:07:51 PM  
When I see the ignorant posts on fark, it kills my sex drive.

2003-01-29 08:07:51 PM  
01-29-03 08:05:31 PM MeatMyDemands

Pushing the buttons reeeel good is certainly a part of it

farking a robot does not count!
2003-01-29 08:08:04 PM  
The article says the survey was from, but that address forwards to After a little searching, I found something called the " 'better sex' survey," which I assume is what this article refers to. Something interesting:

When asked what would improve their sex lives, Americans volunteered that they think a better body (37%), more leisure time (29%), a better bedroom atmosphere (18%) and more sexual knowledge/know-how (17%).

The article mentions that Americans think movie stars have hot, steamy sex (in real life, I assume, as well as on-screen). Well, the top three answers to what Americans think would improve their sex lives are all things that we perceive famous people as having or having easier access to.

I think the main thing that keeps people from thinking they are good in bed is their body image, as evidenced by the 37% of people who said that a better body would make them better in bed. Hell... if you're waiting to be a size 2, or have a six-pack before you're going to let loose and have fun in bed, there's no help for you.

I'm far, far from perfect, but I've been complimented plenty of times on my sexual 'prowess.' All those people are really misguided. What will really improve their sex lives is an open mind, patience, and willingness to make small adjustments to your partner's needs... or something.

Watch Sue Johansen on Oxygen... she's a trip, but every once in a while she gives really good advice.

2003-01-29 08:08:24 PM  
DV - I think OBB understood what I was saying. He probably understood that you were joking with him, too. My blurb was a bit more sympathetic towards him, I thought...
2003-01-29 08:09:26 PM  
I hate when girls ask for it, and they act all mature and experienced, then you stick your cock up their ass and they get all biatchy, saying shiat like "I'M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

haha, mother of god.

That remonds me of a joke!

q: what do you get when you stab a 6 year old boy in the eye with a pencil?

A: A boner!
2003-01-29 08:10:18 PM  

You are a Physics major and they keep coming back? Damn you must be great!
2003-01-29 08:11:36 PM  
Nodhg- Jeezus... my f_buddy & I were just talking about that at lunch on Saturday! ;) Good one.
2003-01-29 08:11:38 PM  

You know what they say... Physicists do it with force.
2003-01-29 08:14:45 PM  
I want to know why they refer to Hollywood actresses. Hell when I think about sex give me Jenna and the like.

Like my papaw always said:

"Sonny you want a gourmet in the kitchen and a whore in the bed."
2003-01-29 08:14:59 PM  
DV - You bore me. Feel free to leave a message with my answering machine.

[image from too old to be available]

Be sure to speak into the mic.
2003-01-29 08:15:44 PM  
Oddly, many women don't even know where all of them are.

That's true. Usually, the only way for a woman to discover what is pleasurable is through masterbation. Lots of it. I suspect many women don't masturbate due to sexual hangups. It's OK for men, but taboo for women.
2003-01-29 08:17:07 PM  
I spy a few Farkers that probably could stand to have some average sex. Uh,not with each other anyway.
2003-01-29 08:18:46 PM  
I suspect many women don't masturbate due to sexual hangups. It's OK for men, but taboo for women.

I think for most women they just dont openly admit to it as easily as men do. Its not a lack of action as much as it is a lack of talking about it.
2003-01-29 08:18:50 PM  
this is surprising...since I seem to have gotten all the below average ones.
2003-01-29 08:19:09 PM  
DirkValentine is kinda weird.
2003-01-29 08:19:52 PM  
01-29-03 07:44:43 PM OBB
Scrotar, Wee, & Dirk - Actually, her and I were having a frank discussion about our bedtime activities, and she let me know (at my behest, I must add) that I'm lousy at a lot of things. On the plus side, now she can rebuild me from the ground up into some sort of good.... sex....guy.

OBB you are going to be one of the luckiest men on Earth. If she is honest enough to say you are doing it wrong, if there is a God she will actually tell you how to do it right. Your last sentence is right on the money, and once or twice a week instead of the normal fumble and grope session say 'know what honey, how about taking me by the hand and showing me exactly what you want, how you want, and what you like.' Three or four months of that and you will have women lined up to pay you for sex.

Umm. Not that I would know or anything.

Know what the hardest part is? When you finally get it right, and are really, really good but for whatever reason go your own way and later on start seeing someone else ... the first few weeks you are bubbling, eager to say 'hey I am really good at something, let me show you' but you just can't. There is no good way to admit it.
2003-01-29 08:25:24 PM  
DirkValentine, mmmm donuts! Krispy Kreme glazed, please.
2003-01-29 08:25:35 PM  
Glonoin - We're both determined right now to make me better, and she says she's going to show me everything I need to know to be great. I've been giving myself high-fives since I heard that.
2003-01-29 08:25:45 PM  
AskFkr, you're right. It's not conversation amongst my girlfriends.
2003-01-29 08:25:52 PM  
There are so many people, guys and chicks, that care only about themselves (in and out of the bedroom). To put someone else's pleasure ahead of yours says a lot.

I really agree with you said, but I get the sneaky feeling that people aren't using this as a measure of how good they are in the sack. (Which they should in my opinion)
I think people are so self-centered that they generally rate their sexual performance based on purely egotistical merits rather than how in-tune they are with their sex-partner.
For men it seems to amount to the fact that if they have a mighty XXXinch schlong and can bang on for hours (regardless of whether their partner likes marathon sex or not) they probably rate themselves 'Above Average'.
For women it would probably be 'How hot am I?' 'How much do I turn him on' rather than 'Do I do what he likes/wants when we actually get down to it'.
So I'm guessing that people with very high physical self-esteem probably rate themselves higher.

I'd be more interested in seeing how people rate their partners. We'd probably get more valuable results.

/probably should read the article
2003-01-29 08:26:25 PM  
Come on man, if you are going to be from Texas, represent. At least be respectful, you live in a state where like 1 in 4 men carry a handgun and can legally kill you for keying their car.

Be cool, fellow farker.
2003-01-29 08:26:42 PM  
01-29-03 07:34:18 PM Shyster
I am both an American and a sexual tyrannosaurus.

nice predator jesse venturea reference
2003-01-29 08:27:10 PM  
Dirk - Though I'm certain that in your own mind you are a truly funny guy, I don't think your brand of 'shiat-box' humour is being appreciated here.
2003-01-29 08:28:05 PM  
Meanwhile, 34 percent of men think Halle Berry is a sexual dynamo, 32 percent have confidence in Jennifer Lopez's bedroom abilities and 20 percent go with Pam Anderson.


I'd bet my left nut that those three chicks are boooring and predictable in bed. Do you really think that women as into themselves as those three could really care about giving their men pleasure? It's all about them and the image they project, baby.

On the other hand, I would like to find out how "average" Alyson Hannigan, Sarah Silverman or Rose McGowen might be in bed.


2003-01-29 08:28:30 PM  
01-29-03 08:25:35 PM OBB

That is cool shiat. I had a woman do the same with me, four months later it was like she was addicted. God Bless older women, and a woman that will say what she wants.
2003-01-29 08:28:34 PM  
all you people complaining about how you "only have sex once or twice a week" or "sex is only average"...


a message from the Society for Hopeless Virgins
2003-01-29 08:29:41 PM  
/probably should have closed the [i] tag as well...
2003-01-29 08:29:48 PM  
Geeky crush for Ku_No_Ichi.... growing....
2003-01-29 08:30:04 PM  
in other news, the Society for Hopeless Virgins has merged with the HTML Dumbass Association.
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