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(Some Guy)   Millionaire Salma Hayek overcomes the socio-economic divide and weds French billionaire   (theblemish.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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3497 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Feb 2009 at 1:58 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-02-16 12:57:23 PM  
Bless her billion dollar teats. TTIUWP
 
2009-02-16 01:10:52 PM  
I want to lick her tits.
 
2009-02-16 01:21:30 PM  
Boobies.
 
2009-02-16 01:47:42 PM  
"When you have boobies like Salma Hayek, you can be anything you want"
 
2009-02-16 02:04:38 PM  
So if I had a billion dollars, I'd have a shot?

Screw you, Fark! I'm getting back to work!
 
2009-02-16 02:05:04 PM  
I want to overcome her divide with my penis
 
2009-02-16 02:06:10 PM  
*happy sigh*

She's just perfect and dreamy...
 
2009-02-16 02:07:26 PM  
i93.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-16 02:07:45 PM  
I wanna poop on her chest. Not for sexual gratification. Just to do it.
 
2009-02-16 02:12:30 PM  
Adjective Bird Whiskey: I wanna poop on her chest. Not for sexual gratification. Just to do it.

You actually liked 2G1C, didn't you?
 
2009-02-16 02:13:24 PM  
I hope they have McFlurries in France.
 
2009-02-16 02:17:42 PM  
She is a goddess among insects.
 
2009-02-16 02:21:16 PM  
When I saw this online, I knew it would hit Fark sooner rather than later.

But I envisioned a headline something like, "Salma married; millions of Farkers cry out in anguish, then are silenced", but I've never gotten a headline greenlighted, so I didn't bother.
 
2009-02-16 02:23:19 PM  
Bob, you are like my long-lost brother or something.

/plus eleventy million.
 
2009-02-16 02:23:47 PM  
Damn, I'm only a billionaire in Zimbabwe.


[image from img5.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2009-02-16 02:27:30 PM  

Sarcastica75: *happy sigh*

She's just perfect and dreamy...


And you've probably still got a shot with her (or at least more-so than male Farkers).

What is it with French billionaires and hot chicks? Flavio Briatore has nailed Naomi Campbell, Adriana Volpe, Elisabetta Gregoraci, and Heidi Klum. And he looks like this:

upload.wikimedia.org

Apparently being funny and of Sicilian descent is no match for being French and having a 7-figure bank account.
 
2009-02-16 02:28:49 PM  

ffish: Apparently being funny and of Sicilian descent is no match for being French and having a 7-figure bank account.


Yes, that's pretty much how it works.
 
2009-02-16 02:29:47 PM  
I give the marriage two years. One year for each convulsing breast then it's off to a lawyer to collect enormous alimony.

/make sure you become accustomed to a very expensive lifestyle
 
2009-02-16 02:31:43 PM  

Heyitsjoe80:

Do you know what they call McFlurries in France?



Le Merde Froid?
 
2009-02-16 02:32:04 PM  
I sure do enjoy masturbating to her image.
 
2009-02-16 02:34:20 PM  
Cow boobs. Keep it.
 
2009-02-16 02:35:00 PM  
Imagine her in Freida..that is all
 
2009-02-16 02:36:32 PM  
Boobs. Is there anything they can't do?

/not really my type, but I can see why others drool.
 
2009-02-16 02:55:27 PM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: I wanna poop on her chest. Not for sexual gratification. Just to do it.


I want to cut off her tits and use them as toilet paper. We should collaborate. Or something.
 
2009-02-16 02:56:30 PM  

whistleridge: Boobs. Is there anything they can't do?


Sponsor me for TotalFark.
 
2009-02-16 02:57:15 PM  

LessO2: whistleridge: Boobs. Is there anything they can't do?

Sponsor me for TotalFark.


They can and have. They just need to be yours and sent out electronically
 
2009-02-16 02:59:27 PM  

ffish:

Apparently being funny and of Sicilian descent is no match for being French and having a 7-figure bank account.


Actually a billionaire has a 10-figure bank account.

/million = 1,000,000 = 7 figure
/billion = 1,000,000,000 = 10 figure = Salma Hayek
 
2009-02-16 02:59:47 PM  

CastorPimp: LessO2: whistleridge: Boobs. Is there anything they can't do?

Sponsor me for TotalFark.

They can and have. They just need to be yours and sent out electronically


I couldn't get a laurel and a hearty handshake with my moobs.

/it was on last night
/little bastard shot me in the ass
 
2009-02-16 03:07:56 PM  
Believe it or not, Salma Hayek is actually very short. I met her at a junket a few weeks ago, and when she walked right past me, she was just below my chin.

I am 5'1. So that would make her under 5 feet. This is why her boobies look so big!

/jealous
 
2009-02-16 03:08:49 PM  
Say, that Salma Hayek sure is attractive!
 
2009-02-16 03:08:50 PM  
She's the same height as my wife, 5'2". That's weird. I would have sworn that Salma's legs were nearly that long ;)
 
2009-02-16 03:09:38 PM  

moonliite: Believe it or not, Salma Hayek is actually very short. I met her at a junket a few weeks ago, and when she walked right past me, she was just below my chin.

I am 5'1. So that would make her under 5 feet. This is why her boobies look so big!

/jealous


Better check at least one of your numbers again ;)
 
2009-02-16 03:09:54 PM  

satanorsanta: ffish:

Apparently being funny and of Sicilian descent is no match for being French and having a 7-figure bank account.

Actually a billionaire has a 10-figure bank account.

/million = 1,000,000 = 7 figure
/billion = 1,000,000,000 = 10 figure = Salma Hayek


Great, just point out that she's that much further out of reach. You bastard.

/ Salma, call me!
// still have the Sicilian thing going for me!
 
2009-02-16 03:10:49 PM  
This thread needs more pics.

img232.imageshack.us



img26.imageshack.usView Full Size




img26.imageshack.us



[image from img26.imageshack.us too old to be available]

img4.imageshack.us

/my favorite girl crush
 
2009-02-16 03:10:57 PM  

ffish: Apparently being funny and of Sicilian descent is no match for being French and having a 7-figure bank account.


... neither of which match up to a 10-figure bank account regardless of nationality.
 
2009-02-16 03:14:17 PM  
Did they go to church first? Or is he a "convenience Catholic" who only goes to church every Sunday?
 
2009-02-16 03:15:00 PM  
So let me get this straight. If I have a billion dollars I can penis women that look like Salma Hayek? Very interesting ....... I wonder if they also keep their whore mouths shut for a billion or two (except for teh bee-jays of course).
 
2009-02-16 03:15:54 PM  
There is no greater aphrodisiac for women than cold hard cash. Sad but true.

/more powerful than my huge wang and rapist's wit.
 
2009-02-16 03:29:50 PM  

CrankMyBlueSax: So let me get this straight. If I have a billion dollars I can penis women that look like Salma Hayek? Very interesting ....... I wonder if they also keep their whore mouths shut for a billion or two (except for teh bee-jays of course).


A billion dollars will get you Salma Hayek, a million dollars will get you any other woman, but no amount of money will get them to shut their mouths.
 
2009-02-16 03:32:04 PM  
Bateau à moteur!
 
2009-02-16 03:33:44 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: I give the marriage two years. One year for each convulsing breast then it's off to a lawyer to collect enormous alimony.
/make sure you become accustomed to a very expensive lifestyle


Eh, I think they've been dating for several years already. And i also bet there's a 100-page pre-nup.

SpinStopper: She's the same height as my wife, 5'2". That's weird. I would have sworn that Salma's legs were nearly that long ;)


If you look at that pic that Sybarite posted, her legs actually look--please don't kill me--short and fairly heavy.

She's not model material.
 
2009-02-16 03:39:36 PM  

Tissot: A billion dollars will get you Salma Hayek, a million dollars will get you any other woman, but no amount of money will get them to shut their mouths.


It's hardly worth it then. Besides, my right hand would get jealous.
 
2009-02-16 03:42:23 PM  

cryinoutloud: TheShavingofOccam123: I give the marriage two years. One year for each convulsing breast then it's off to a lawyer to collect enormous alimony.
/make sure you become accustomed to a very expensive lifestyle

Eh, I think they've been dating for several years already. And i also bet there's a 100-page pre-nup.

SpinStopper: She's the same height as my wife, 5'2". That's weird. I would have sworn that Salma's legs were nearly that long ;)

If you look at that pic that Sybarite posted, her legs actually look--please don't kill me--short and fairly heavy.

She's not model material.


Blasphemy! Apostate get thee hence!
 
2009-02-16 03:43:00 PM  

cryinoutloud: TheShavingofOccam123: I give the marriage two years. One year for each convulsing breast then it's off to a lawyer to collect enormous alimony.
/make sure you become accustomed to a very expensive lifestyle

Eh, I think they've been dating for several years already. And i also bet there's a 100-page pre-nup.

SpinStopper: She's the same height as my wife, 5'2". That's weird. I would have sworn that Salma's legs were nearly that long ;)

If you look at that pic that Sybarite posted, her legs actually look--please don't kill me--short and fairly heavy.

She's not model material.


My girlfriend has the same basic body shape (never said she "looks like Salma", mind you) and is just an inch or so shorter than Salma. Huge, glorious, sexy jugs, but if you like long legs, you'd best look elsewhere.
 
2009-02-16 03:47:44 PM  

mooseyfate: My girlfriend has the same basic body shape


Pics, or it didn't happen.
 
2009-02-16 03:49:26 PM  

superkt: This thread needs more pics.

/my favorite girl crush


Clicks on profile
/Oh hells nawl I know you didn't
 
2009-02-16 03:51:08 PM  

CrankMyBlueSax: mooseyfate: My girlfriend has the same basic body shape

Pics, or it didn't happen Be stupid like Home Schooled Guy or Rainbow Brite's Brother.


FTFY

/Besides, what's so hard to believe about a short, busty hispanic woman?
 
2009-02-16 03:58:56 PM  
anaitgames.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-16 04:04:46 PM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2009-02-16 04:23:07 PM  

vonster: Cow boobs. Keep it.


I don't know what kind of cows you have on your farm, but if they have an udder like Salma's tits, I'd like to offer myself as head milker.
 
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