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(SlashFilm)   Since Universal made deals with Habro to turn every games and toys into a movie, the studio goes through your closet and pulls out an old Stretch Armstrong doll: "Here's our next blockbuster"   (slashfilm.com) divider line 32
    More: Stupid  
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1031 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Feb 2009 at 3:07 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-02-13 01:09:16 PM  
(BLACK SCREEN)

SFX: Thunderous footfalls

CUT TO
Interior, a basement, the lights flickering, a terrified family clings to each other

Little Girl:
Mommy, why...why won't they stop?

CUT TO
Black Screen
SFX: Thunderous footfalls

CUT TO
Exterior, New York City, a passenger has just left a cab without paying and the hilariously ethnic cabdriver leans out to yell

Cabbie:
HEY! Whattamatta wit you, you cheap (his eyes go wide, something BIG is approaching)

CUT TO
Black Screen
SFX: Horrible crunching sounds. Think a tree chipper digesting granite

CUT TO
Interior, White House Situation Room. The President is sitting at a desk, hands covering his face as the National Security Advisor stands near the chair

NSA:
We've thrown everything we have at them. They just keep coming.

CUT TO
Black Screen
SFX: Horrible chewing sounds

CUT TO
Interior, basement. Deathly quiet, except for the buzz of the flickering lights

Little girl:
Maybe...maybe they're finally full?

Huge crash as the cave is breached, blinding white light, and blinding white teeth as the doomed family screams.

CUT TO
Black Screen

FADE UP TITLE
HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS

FADE TO
SUMMER 2011 -- IT'S FEEDING TIME

FADE TO BLACK

(I plagiarized this from myself from the "Candy Land" thread a few weeks back)
 
2009-02-13 01:17:23 PM  
every games?

Fail.
 
2009-02-13 01:22:56 PM  
lionfish: every games?

Fail.


Habro?

img1.fark.netimg1.fark.net

/move every zig turn every games
 
2009-02-13 02:07:51 PM  
Today's headline brought to you by the letter "S".
 
2009-02-13 02:37:07 PM  
submitter: the studio goes through your closet and pulls out an old Stretch Armstrong doll: "Here's our next blockbuster"

Is "closet" some sort of Hollywood euphemism for "ass?"
 
2009-02-13 02:47:53 PM  
I eagerly await Scrabble 2: Attack of Oxyphenbutazone.
 
2009-02-13 02:52:32 PM  
They're really rolling the dice on this one.
 
2009-02-13 03:00:04 PM  
Universal Pictures has made a series of deals with Hasbro to adapt board games and toys into big screen movies.

hmm...that explains why Hasbro bought out D&D. The shift to 4th edition changes the copyrights and could be an attempt to 'clear the slate' for a couple of Forgotten Realms and/or Greyhawk movies. Bonus points for raping Gyax's corpse during the 'creative' process.
 
2009-02-13 03:11:09 PM  
To be fair, I really think only Vivid Video could do the character some justice.
 
2009-02-13 03:18:36 PM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves: To be fair, I really think only Vivid Video could do the character some justice.

Imagine what they could do with Twister!
 
2009-02-13 03:18:58 PM  
I thought I'd go out and look at all the toys Habro makes, but heck if I can find their website!

My kids don't have a single toy with a Habro brand on it? Some sort of Un American product?

I don't shop at Walmart, could it be that Habro is one of their toxic chinese knock off products?
 
2009-02-13 03:20:34 PM  
blockbuster? how about courtney love vs. predator? no? how about... courtney love vs. alien? no? aw c'mon now work with me here...2 blood suckers mano y mano...
 
2009-02-13 03:21:24 PM  
www.rosettastone.com

Learny da' engrish
 
2009-02-13 03:21:29 PM  
I prefer Haibro Afracasian American toys myself.
 
2009-02-13 03:23:26 PM  
What, proofread?

Nah.
 
2009-02-13 03:25:25 PM  
As an employee of Hasbro, this thread is not relevant to my interest.
 
2009-02-13 03:29:49 PM  
Pronounced "Hey, bro!"
 
2009-02-13 03:32:28 PM  
Habro, I heard you shot your woman down.
 
2009-02-13 03:34:00 PM  
every games and toys


www.realfreewebsites.com
Also:
www.freecorporatelogos.com
 
2009-02-13 03:41:52 PM  
Watch out for the hasbronero peppers subby, I hear they're pretty hot.
 
2009-02-13 03:48:37 PM  
me fail English? That's unpossible
 
2009-02-13 03:52:40 PM  
Solid State Vittles: I eagerly await SCrabble 2: Attack of Oxyphenbutazone.

FTFY

/loves me some Crabble . . .
 
2009-02-13 04:11:14 PM  
Since Hasbro owns Magic: the Gathering i for one am worried that there will be a whole deck of suck that will supersede the tome of suck that was D&D.
 
2009-02-13 04:27:55 PM  
The Icelander: submitter: the studio goes through your closet and pulls out an old Stretch Armstrong doll: "Here's our next blockbuster"

Is "closet" some sort of Hollywood euphemism for "ass?"


If that's where you kept YOUR Stretch Armstrong, keep your hands off MY G. I. Joes!
 
2009-02-13 04:57:29 PM  
And the MPAA wonders why so many of us would rather just download the torrent than actually pay money to see the crap Hollywood is turning out these days.

G.I. Joe movie? I won't even waste the bandwidth to DL the torrent for that hunk of crap.
 
2009-02-13 05:07:35 PM  
Hairy Harry the movie?
 
2009-02-13 05:20:40 PM  
Why can't Milton Bradley make a movie?

/Plus, I have a script for "Hungry Hungry Hippos of Horror" and everything.
 
2009-02-13 06:43:36 PM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves: (I plagiarized this from myself from the "Candy Land" thread a few weeks back)

You're still the winner of this thread, sir.
 
2009-02-13 06:59:39 PM  
I had one of those things when I was little. I tore the arm and all the goo leaked out. But then I put a band-aid on it, and it was better.
/that's my story and I'm sticking to it
 
2009-02-13 08:50:30 PM  
Weaver95: Universal Pictures has made a series of deals with Hasbro to adapt board games and toys into big screen movies.

hmm...that explains why Hasbro bought out D&D. The shift to 4th edition changes the copyrights and could be an attempt to 'clear the slate' for a couple of Forgotten Realms and/or Greyhawk movies. Bonus points for raping Gyax's corpse during the 'creative' process.


There are editions of D&D worth mentioning after 2nd?
 
DOW
2009-02-14 10:54:34 AM  
Fano: There are editions of D&D worth mentioning after 2nd?

Come on... dude... 2nd was the biggest pile of suck ever. Until 4th, that is.
 
2009-02-14 10:57:04 PM  
DOW: Fano: There are editions of D&D worth mentioning after 2nd?

Come on... dude... 2nd was the biggest pile of suck ever. Until 4th, that is.


I still have all the 1st edition stuff. Old Unearthed Arcana works for me.
 
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