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(London Times)   14 alternative Valentine's Day gifts: What will you choose? The chocolate corset? Or the machete?   (women.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 37
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10084 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2009 at 11:13 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-02-13 04:23:54 AM
My gift got delivered today. Post person snuck up at 5am, claimed I wasn't in, which was odd coz I was in. I hope it's not the donkey I asked for.
 
2009-02-13 10:42:37 AM
Shovel, plastic bag, rug
 
2009-02-13 10:46:31 AM
I'll go with 'machete.' Not feeling very romantical this weekend. :-/
 
2009-02-13 11:15:19 AM
What? I can't get both?
 
2009-02-13 11:15:34 AM
No chocolate machete? Or is it? I'm not clicking the link.
 
2009-02-13 11:15:46 AM
www.brentschoonover.com


Duh.
 
2009-02-13 11:16:49 AM
my wife likes corsets and machetes, I'll have to check out this list
 
2009-02-13 11:18:55 AM
Corset looks delicious. Not what I expected though...
 
2009-02-13 11:19:00 AM
Crabs didn't make the list?
 
2009-02-13 11:22:08 AM
Gray Matter Collider : Crabs didn't make the list?

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. You give them to her, then next holiday, she'll tell you not to get her anything. Winnah!!
 
2009-02-13 11:22:50 AM
Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.
 
2009-02-13 11:23:04 AM
FTFA: 3. A kiss (from you) suspended over an air machine: Get rode like a horse and let her be the "man". Give your lover an extra thrill by booking a session in the 'tunnel of love' - a wind tunnel in Milton Keynes. You can pretend to be skydiving without having to jump out of a plane and attempt to kiss mid-air get it up the pooper while people watch which may or may not be more difficult than it looks in the picture on the website. £ 69.99 for two www.airkix.com

i269.photobucket.com
 
2009-02-13 11:24:49 AM
Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.
 
2009-02-13 11:25:46 AM
Those are meat cleavers or butcher knives. Stupid journalist.
 
2009-02-13 11:26:08 AM
I'm thinking I'll pick up some of that nice hand lotion from the Bay. Only the best for my sweetheart!

/cut cut cut
 
2009-02-13 11:26:25 AM
Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.


Are you guys Hutu?
 
2009-02-13 11:28:06 AM
I thought it was going to be a chocolate corset the girl can wear and that I can eat until she's nekkid.

I was sorely disappointed.
 
2009-02-13 11:28:46 AM
Rapmaster2000: Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.

Are you guys Hutu?


Too soon. Anyhow the panga was probably the more common weapon used in Tutsi people and moderate leaning Hutus.
 
2009-02-13 11:29:56 AM
Chocolate corset???

www.allhatnocattle.net

Mmmmmmmmmm...chocolate
 
2009-02-13 11:29:57 AM
I'm going to bring back the wind tunnel and switch it over to wild skydiving sex.
/The buffalo can be live or stuffed.
 
2009-02-13 11:31:05 AM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2009-02-13 11:39:23 AM
A prenup?
 
2009-02-13 11:50:58 AM
Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.


I'd prefer a machete, too. I'll still be in my bunk, though.
 
2009-02-13 11:53:31 AM
My wife hates lingerie. I gave her an Indonesian sword as a wedding present. Bet she'd go with the machete.
 
2009-02-13 11:54:52 AM
Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.


walkerma.files.wordpress.com

"Gosh, I'm real sorry 'bout the mixup. Honest."


/not subby or author, got nuthin
 
2009-02-13 11:59:42 AM
I think I'd be happy with the personalized machete, and that's it. The rest of the list seems either tacky or dumb.
 
2009-02-13 12:00:14 PM
For real, I just want some Fannie May Pixies. No need to rack your brain for "alternative" gifts to appease my snotfaced cynical hipster side, chocolate will suffice.
 
2009-02-13 12:01:35 PM
These are some really dumb ideas... not even entertaining or amusing. Thanks for wasting 5 mins of my life subby.
 
2009-02-13 12:10:19 PM
www.errolmorris.com

I'll choose #8.
 
2009-02-13 12:10:30 PM
12. Treat your dog to a Harrods food tasting:


One of these things is not like the other, come on now and tell me which one...
 
2009-02-13 12:24:52 PM
logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.
 
2009-02-13 12:36:04 PM
You dog wants #12
 
2009-02-13 01:54:29 PM
media.collegepublisher.com
Piss on that, I'm taking a machete
/hot of the presses
 
2009-02-13 01:57:53 PM
illicit: logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.


But at least the website is technically accurate even if the nomenclature is wrong. A cleaver is a knife commonly used by butchers. Meanwhile the article is completely wrong,
 
2009-02-13 02:05:58 PM
Make it a Bat'leth and you've got yrself a deal, sonny!
 
2009-02-13 03:46:08 PM
Hacker_X: illicit: logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.

But at least the website is technically accurate even if the nomenclature is wrong. A cleaver is a knife commonly used by butchers. Meanwhile the article is completely wrong,


What? we got freakin' KNIFE Nazis on Fark now?
 
2009-02-13 04:22:39 PM
I'm hoping I get a Butterfly and a bottle of scotch.
What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic.
 
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