FARK.com: (4208609) 14 alternative Valentine's Day gifts: What will you choose? The chocolate corset? Or the machete?

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		14 alternative Valentine's Day gifts: What will you choose? The chocolate corset? Or the machete? (women.timesonline.co.uk)		37
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10078 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2009 at 11:13 AM | Favorite | share:

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37 Comments (+0 »)

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RabidDog		2009-02-13 04:23:54 AM

My gift got delivered today. Post person snuck up at 5am, claimed I wasn't in, which was odd coz I was in. I hope it's not the donkey I asked for.

PC LOAD LETTER		2009-02-13 10:42:37 AM

Shovel, plastic bag, rug

xanadian		2009-02-13 10:46:31 AM

I'll go with 'machete.' Not feeling very romantical this weekend. :-/

MBooda		2009-02-13 11:15:19 AM

What? I can't get both?

IAmRight		2009-02-13 11:15:34 AM

No chocolate machete? Or is it? I'm not clicking the link.

logruszed		2009-02-13 11:15:46 AM

Duh.

Feyfolken		2009-02-13 11:16:49 AM

my wife likes corsets and machetes, I'll have to check out this list

monsieurstabby		2009-02-13 11:18:55 AM

Corset looks delicious. Not what I expected though...

Gray Matter Collider		2009-02-13 11:19:00 AM

Crabs didn't make the list?

cherryl taggart		2009-02-13 11:22:08 AM

Gray Matter Collider : Crabs didn't make the list?

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. You give them to her, then next holiday, she'll tell you not to get her anything. Winnah!!

logruszed		2009-02-13 11:22:50 AM

Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

Spanky_McFarksalot		2009-02-13 11:23:04 AM

FTFA: 3. ~~A kiss (from you) suspended over an air machine:~~ Get rode like a horse and let her be the "man". Give your lover an extra thrill by booking a session in the 'tunnel of love' - a wind tunnel in Milton Keynes. You can ~~pretend to be skydiving without having to jump out of a plane and attempt to kiss mid-air~~ get it up the pooper while people watch which may or may not be more difficult than it looks in the picture on the website. £ 69.99 for two www.airkix.com

i269.photobucket.com

Fast Thick Pants		2009-02-13 11:24:49 AM

Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.

Rapmaster2000		2009-02-13 11:25:46 AM

Those are meat cleavers or butcher knives. Stupid journalist.

hockeyfarker		2009-02-13 11:26:08 AM

I'm thinking I'll pick up some of that nice hand lotion from the Bay. Only the best for my sweetheart!

/cut cut cut

Rapmaster2000		2009-02-13 11:26:25 AM

Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.

Are you guys Hutu?

Korangulation		2009-02-13 11:28:06 AM

I thought it was going to be a chocolate corset the girl can wear and that I can eat until she's nekkid.

I was sorely disappointed.

logruszed		2009-02-13 11:28:46 AM

Rapmaster2000: Fast Thick Pants: Machete is not a machete. It's a cleaver. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it's already sold out.

I would still prefer a personalized machete as advertised. That would take care of this year's Christmas shopping for pretty much all my friends and family.

Are you guys Hutu?

Too soon. Anyhow the panga was probably the more common weapon used in Tutsi people and moderate leaning Hutus.

digitalrain		2009-02-13 11:29:56 AM

Chocolate corset???

www.allhatnocattle.net

Mmmmmmmmmm...chocolate

Unique_Login		2009-02-13 11:29:57 AM

I'm going to bring back the wind tunnel and switch it over to wild skydiving sex.
/The buffalo can be live or stuffed.

busy chillin'		2009-02-13 11:31:05 AM

Laz Long		2009-02-13 11:39:23 AM

A prenup?

Vulpy		2009-02-13 11:50:58 AM

ribbit		2009-02-13 11:53:31 AM

My wife hates lingerie. I gave her an Indonesian sword as a wedding present. Bet she'd go with the machete.

phartnocker		2009-02-13 11:54:52 AM

"Gosh, I'm real sorry 'bout the mixup. Honest."

/not subby or author, got nuthin

Cornwell		2009-02-13 11:59:42 AM

I think I'd be happy with the personalized machete, and that's it. The rest of the list seems either tacky or dumb.

Anne.Uumellmahaye		2009-02-13 12:00:14 PM

For real, I just want some Fannie May Pixies. No need to rack your brain for "alternative" gifts to appease my snotfaced cynical hipster side, chocolate will suffice.

HAHA!_You_cannot_kill_a_Hindu!		2009-02-13 12:01:35 PM

These are some really dumb ideas... not even entertaining or amusing. Thanks for wasting 5 mins of my life subby.

Balrog1		2009-02-13 12:10:19 PM

I'll choose #8.

Ncoded		2009-02-13 12:10:30 PM

12. Treat your dog to a Harrods food tasting:

One of these things is not like the other, come on now and tell me which one...

illicit		2009-02-13 12:24:52 PM

logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.

LordRosco		2009-02-13 12:36:04 PM

You dog wants #12

WI241TH		2009-02-13 01:54:29 PM

Piss on that, I'm taking a machete
/hot of the presses

Hacker_X		2009-02-13 01:57:53 PM

illicit: logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.

But at least the website is technically accurate even if the nomenclature is wrong. A cleaver is a knife commonly used by butchers. Meanwhile the article is completely wrong,

jonny99		2009-02-13 02:05:58 PM

Make it a Bat'leth and you've got yrself a deal, sonny!

Lord Brixton		2009-02-13 03:46:08 PM

Hacker_X: illicit: logruszed: Hay! Those are cleavers anyhow. What a gyp.

I love how both the article plugging them AND the website selling them are BOTH incorrect.

But at least the website is technically accurate even if the nomenclature is wrong. A cleaver is a knife commonly used by butchers. Meanwhile the article is completely wrong,

What? we got freakin' KNIFE Nazis on Fark now?