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(Some Guy)   The Oracle of Starbucks will determine your personality type based on what you order at Starbucks   (buttafly.com) divider line 96
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19701 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2003 at 4:20 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-01-28 02:25:59 PM
Damn. It doesn't have a response for "I would never order anything from that over-rated, over-priced, evil, piece of crap company which caters to yuppie asshats and soccer moms."

I guess I'll never know what kind of personality I have.
 
2003-01-28 02:34:34 PM
Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink frappucinos are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall


100% accuracy....Pffft. Granted you are likely to find me in the mall parking lot where I pick up most of my Johns, please take note that I'm a prostitute, not a stripper. Also, I don't drink wine coolers, I shoot heroin. ;)
 
2003-01-28 02:39:01 PM
I don't drink coffee, so I put in "water". Results came back that I was a lame, couch potato, who likes America's Funniest Home Videos. Right on all counts.
 
2003-01-28 02:43:17 PM
FARKED
 
2003-01-28 03:40:27 PM
Drink: Venti Americano
Personality type: Asshat

It works!
 
2003-01-28 04:23:32 PM
I have never stepped foot in a Starbucks. So, I guess this means I have no personality at all.
 
2003-01-28 04:25:02 PM
Doesn't have a choice for Peet's.
 
2003-01-28 04:25:47 PM
'All people who drink venti chai are potheads.'

well its right about one thing at least.
 
2003-01-28 04:26:44 PM
A beer and a shot of JD
 
2003-01-28 04:27:13 PM
Farked already?
Anyway, consumer reports rated starbucks kinda low, as I recall. And I pretty much agree. Not that I don't like espresso-roasted beans (the only kind Starbucks sells, as far as I can tell), but their coffee is average, at best. They roast all the subtle flavors out. And it is overpriced.
So if you go for a cat poop latte, you might want to go somewhere else.
 
2003-01-28 04:27:31 PM
"Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "A large black Peet 's coffee" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves."

Funny though, they got the mumbling part right.
 
2003-01-28 04:27:32 PM
"Hello, ass-clown. Nice try. Starbucks doesn't serve "asstacular assbadger hold the ass" (though if they did you'd probably drink it). Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves."

well, i for one will spend no more of my time at a website that insults me thus!
 
2003-01-28 04:28:43 PM
Aaaaaaaaand...FARKED!
 
2003-01-28 04:30:16 PM
Drink: Grande Mocha Frapachino
Personality type: Clueless


that parts true.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall


wrong on both. 25% accuracy. Good job.
 
2003-01-28 04:30:36 PM

I put Bud Draft in the form; the Oracle said this:
" Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "bud draft" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves."


Fark Starbucks. I bet their overpriced coffee comes from the arse of a cat anyways. Give me Dunkin' Donuts coffee anyday. $1.50 for a medium, and you don't need a farkin PhD to order those funny named drinks.

 
2003-01-28 04:30:40 PM
Don't they have a menu? I have no idea what's available at Starbucks. Of course, I'm not big on caffeine, so that puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage.
 
2003-01-28 04:30:45 PM
01-28-03 04:26:44 PM I_Can't_Believe_It's_Not_Smegma
A beer and a shot of JD



...these are a few of my favorite things...
 
2003-01-28 04:30:54 PM
Extra large triple triple
Tim Hortons
that is all
 
2003-01-28 04:31:47 PM
Shut........UP writes: wrong on both. 25% accuracy. Good job.

We don't agree on much; but, that's good humor.
 
2003-01-28 04:31:50 PM
Americano=Asshat.
 
2003-01-28 04:32:20 PM
"Of course, I'm not big on caffeine, so that puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage."

They have decaf, but that would be like drinking non-alcholoic beer.
 
2003-01-28 04:32:33 PM
Shyster,

i didn't need to know what you drink at starbucks to know that you are, indeed, an asshat. stupid yuppie biatch. go back to law school.
 
2003-01-28 04:32:43 PM
How come I can't order beer? and what's a starbucks anwyas?
 
2003-01-28 04:33:03 PM
Glad to see that I'm not the only person who has never even tried a Starbucks coffee.
 
2003-01-28 04:33:23 PM
Me: "I would like a coffee, please."

Starbuck's kid: "What kind, sir?"

Me: "Coffee. No flavour, just coffee."

Starbuck's kid: "Would you like irish cream?"

Me: "No, just coffee. I'll put the milk and sugar in myself."

Starbuck's kid: "We have cappacino."

Me, growing annoyed: "No, coffee, black. Just coffee."

Starbuck's kid: "Oh, you mean expresso."

Me, walking away...
 
2003-01-28 04:33:49 PM
ugh, stock profiles for separate choices. not a lot of work went in to this.
 
2003-01-28 04:34:22 PM
Gee, if only I were a prep... I could do this.
 
2003-01-28 04:34:40 PM
Personality type: Pseudo-intellectual

You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters "just in case it's true." All people who drink small hot chai tea are potheads.

Also drinks: Sparkling water
Can also be found at: Designer grocery stores

The first line was dead one.. the rest doesn't quite fit. And I never forward spam.. I have a friends that always sends me those damned chain letters and I hate them. Oh, and I don't do drugs.
 
2003-01-28 04:34:41 PM
I need help with the menu
 
2003-01-28 04:35:17 PM
"The Oracle of Starbucks will determine your personality type based on what you order at Starbucks"

Yes, but will it determine if my DNA is compatible with
some very lucky lady?

-Hyatus
"da da da"
 
2003-01-28 04:35:28 PM
Shyster.. Don't let DirkValentine get you down.
Asshats unite!!!!
 
2003-01-28 04:36:21 PM
I've pissed in a Starbuck's cup, does that count for something?
 
43%
2003-01-28 04:37:24 PM
Friggin' lame? Oh crumb!!
 
2003-01-28 04:37:44 PM
High Maintenance.

My friends are plotting to kill me.

HA! Even the Oracle admits I have friends.
 
2003-01-28 04:38:22 PM
Well any place I can't order beer obviously isn't any good.
 
2003-01-28 04:38:31 PM
Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Grande Mocha Latte are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall


I like the "test" that really only have two stock answers where they just plug in whatever you said.
That said, I really like the Cafe Mochas. They have lots of sugar, and whipped cream.
 
2003-01-28 04:38:43 PM
The Oracle of Fark will determine that this site cannot withstand a beatdown.
 
2003-01-28 04:40:45 PM
Farked! Damnit, I need to be labeled today! I'm gonna burst!!`
 
2003-01-28 04:44:33 PM
So much for gifted insight. An entry of "leaded, large" returns the same text as Skinink got.

If they can't comprehend the way coffee was served before they soiled the planet with the imprint of their foot, I don't want their sorry excuse for what passes for coffee these days.
 
2003-01-28 04:45:02 PM
Worst.Crap.Ever
 
2003-01-28 04:45:41 PM
i was so looking forward to being called a geek or something but the damn link won't work!
faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark.
 
2003-01-28 04:46:09 PM
Starbucks =


 
2003-01-28 04:47:02 PM
01-28-03 04:34:40 PM SmallTownGirl
You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless.

The first line was dead one[sic].. the rest doesn't quite fit.


Not so fast. I think you're clueless. After all, you do pay far too much for trendy coffee.
 
2003-01-28 04:50:07 PM
Blech. I've never understood why you would want to pay for coffee. If I want the caffeine, I have my secretary make me a cup. If I want something that tastes nice, I make my own at home. Luzianne and chicory...mmmmmm....
 
2003-01-28 04:51:40 PM
Litig8r: where do you find Chicory? I've looked everywhere...well, everywhere on this side of the mitten...help!
 
2003-01-28 04:51:58 PM
I get a venti coffee with three shots of espresso. I would ask the oracle what this means about my personality, but my fingers are shaking too violently to type it in.
 
2003-01-28 04:53:09 PM
I put the husband's drink in - vente quad latte.

Said he was lame and uses words like "friggin'" and "oh crumb."

Let it be known his language is lot more colorful than that - rather like all you guys!

Only thing lame was the web site.
 
2003-01-28 04:53:43 PM
My preferred choice is to first drop by Book-A-Million. This may not be available in your area. They generally have a "Joe Muggs" coffee bar. The coffee is also better than $tarBucks. So, I'll usually pick up either a regular cappuccino or coffee, then head on over to Barnes & Noble, who has an in-store $tarBucks.

Of course, neither of these is as good as our locally-owned coffee shop, Jamos.
 
2003-01-28 04:54:41 PM



If by "coffee" you mean "mountain dew"

Ahhhh refreshing

 
2003-01-28 04:55:38 PM
Pussycat:

http://www.gritlit.com/FoodsL-R/g307.html

Luzianne is the largest coffee producer that markets a coffee/chicory blend. Highly recommended. I have to order it from down south, and none of the stores around here carry it. In a pinch, Chock-Full-O-Nuts is a vaguely palatable substitute...or Douwe Egberts (surprisingly).
 
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