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(Detroit News)   Mom of the year candidate faces life in prison when authorities don't agree with her views on child braising   (detnews.com) divider line 72
    More: Sick  
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16235 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2009 at 7:57 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-02-10 06:10:23 PM
Beautiful headline subby, Hellbound airlines will be picking up some more passengers tonight.

+1
 
2009-02-10 06:23:08 PM
www.oberlin.edu

/ lolwut ?
 
2009-02-10 06:37:32 PM
Well you don't expect her to eat them raw do you? That would be disgusting
 
2009-02-10 06:38:56 PM
Funny headline, nauseating story.
 
2009-02-10 07:10:26 PM
Oven? Doesn't she know that kids are microwaveable?
img443.imageshack.us
 
2009-02-10 08:00:20 PM
I would also have accepted "child searing."
 
2009-02-10 08:01:22 PM
Lady, that's not what they mean by 'another bun in the oven'
 
2009-02-10 08:02:19 PM
Hope the biatch catches painful rectal cancer
 
2009-02-10 08:02:42 PM
would a four year old even fit in an oven? That just seems....doubtful
 
2009-02-10 08:03:13 PM
I had a friend when I was a kid, his father used to hang him upside down in the closet, at least that's what he told me. He even showed me big hooks mounted in the closet.
 
2009-02-10 08:03:20 PM
Stories like this burner me up, at least it's catching some preheat in the media. Hopefully they won't glaze over the follow-up about her stewing in jail
 
2009-02-10 08:03:51 PM
Nice headline subby.

/I LOL'ed
 
2009-02-10 08:04:30 PM
Well done Subby, well done.
 
2009-02-10 08:04:59 PM
Wow. This actually transcends the ability to make a cynical comment or snark about. It's the bushfires all over again..
 
2009-02-10 08:05:06 PM
CruJones: would a four year old even fit in an oven? That just seems....doubtful

you have to take the oven racks out and push a little bit but yeah they fit...

I mean um what?
 
2009-02-10 08:06:37 PM
Is this the kid in question?

assets.espn.go.com

"Now I know why tigers eat there young."
 
2009-02-10 08:06:55 PM
www.mgrande.com
Approves..
 
2009-02-10 08:08:51 PM
Oh, she's in hot water now. I hope she fries.
 
2009-02-10 08:09:21 PM
veedeevadeevoodee: / lolwut ?

You beat me to it! Curses!

Woman: "But Mr. Fields, don't you like children"?
W. C.: "Of course I do my little chickadee, especially when they're served with Hollandaise sauce".
Woman: "Oh! Mr. Fields, you mustn't say that! Don't you find children to be tender"?
W. C.: "They can be, if you boil them long enough".
 
2009-02-10 08:09:22 PM
Awesome headline, terrible mother, dumb media. This is why I love Fark.
 
2009-02-10 08:10:21 PM
cyberlogicx: WTF

Yeah, that about sums it up.
 
2009-02-10 08:11:28 PM
www.alanjohns.fsnet.co.uk

BABY, IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER!
 
2009-02-10 08:13:32 PM
I don't agree with her views on child braising, either.

Usually you use tougher cuts of meat for braising. Children that young are fairly tender, suited more to grilling, pan-frying, saute, or roasting.

You just don't braise a child!

/There's not enough collagen and connective tissue
 
2009-02-10 08:13:52 PM
One of my greatest nightmares as a kid was being locked in an oven by a trio of evil witches and then having them crank up the heat and laugh :(
 
2009-02-10 08:14:21 PM
Fark needs a "Detroit" tag.
 
2009-02-10 08:14:28 PM
It's okay, she just has a modest proposal to get through the recession..

//ok, there's the cynicism.
 
2009-02-10 08:14:51 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: BABY, IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER!

Baby, the other other white meat!
 
2009-02-10 08:18:48 PM
It sounds like she's mentally ill. At least she came to her senses long enough to call someone.
 
2009-02-10 08:19:52 PM
There are to many kid anyway. I hate your snowflake and hope you kill it.
 
Ant
2009-02-10 08:19:58 PM
The allegations belied outside appearances of a happy family, shocking neighbors of the family whose front picture window is adorned with the sign "1 God."

They're monotheists. They MUST be good people!
 
2009-02-10 08:20:18 PM
mmm. riblets!

like ribs, only cuter.
 
2009-02-10 08:27:32 PM
Silly me...
I thought it took a village to braise a child?
 
2009-02-10 08:30:32 PM
Well done.
 
2009-02-10 08:31:53 PM
deltabourne: One of my greatest nightmares as a kid was being locked in an oven by a trio of evil witches and then having them crank up the heat and laugh :(

i517.photobucket.com

HaHaaaHahahaAaHAaHA
 
2009-02-10 08:32:19 PM
Wow. That is one sick story. I am thoroughly disguisted....

Oh wait the timer went off, my child is ready.
 
2009-02-10 08:35:53 PM
What is the name of that serial killer that would lure children and eat them? He was an Old guy. Taunted one of the families about what he had done.
 
2009-02-10 08:38:09 PM
Found it. Albert Fish:
 
2009-02-10 08:38:53 PM
Okay.. was trying to post a pic. well, fark it. Just google the sick fark.
 
2009-02-10 08:46:30 PM
P.I. Staker: /There's not enough collagen and connective tissue

I don't know, catch 'em before their bones develop and you've got pretty good sized collagen stores there, could probably get a solid soup stock out of a four year old. Then you can freeze it and add that fresh kid taste to dishes all year round!
 
2009-02-10 08:47:57 PM
She'll be out and rooming with Andrea Yates in no time.
 
2009-02-10 08:49:30 PM
That's what those kids get for eating her gingerbread house.
 
2009-02-10 08:52:42 PM
swarmspawn...you scare me.
 
2009-02-10 08:54:41 PM
Newt13: Okay.. was trying to post a pic. well, fark it. Just google the sick fark.

Here you go:

img24.imageshack.us


Albert Fish

/Mugshot goodness from 1903
 
2009-02-10 09:05:21 PM
swarmspawn: P.I. Staker: /There's not enough collagen and connective tissue

I don't know, catch 'em before their bones develop and you've got pretty good sized collagen stores there, could probably get a solid soup stock out of a four year old. Then you can freeze it and add that fresh kid taste to dishes all year round!


Sure, kid stock. Or you could take the stock and reduce it down to child demi-glace, a key ingredient in many classic and contemporary French sauces!

/Or you could kick it old school and use the stock to MAKE a stock with fresh infant bones (or reuse the old ones for a remmy, but given their small size I'd imagine they'd be pretty spent, like chicken bones are), with fresh mirepoix and pincage, then thicken it with roux to make Child Sauce Espagnole
//Anybody know if you traditionally use adult female bones to make a Mother Sauce? Better as LaRousse which you THEN use to make really traditional demiglace
///If you haven't at some point in cooking school had an earnest discussion with your peers about cooking options for children, you didn't go to a very good school
 
2009-02-10 09:09:02 PM
Thank you Fireproof!

Now, that man new how he wanted his baby back ribs.
 
2009-02-10 09:09:39 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2009-02-10 09:21:23 PM
Newt13: Okay.. was trying to post a pic. well, fark it. Just google the sick fark.

Damn, you weren't kidding. I just finished reading his Wikipedia entry. He makes the mortal version of Freddy Kruger look sane and safe.
 
2009-02-10 09:27:10 PM
CruJones: would a four year old even fit in an oven? That just seems....doubtful


I'm 24 and *I* fit in an oven, you could probably fit 2 four year olds in one, you just have to take the racks out.
 
2009-02-10 09:31:25 PM
Jynnjynn: CruJones: would a four year old even fit in an oven? That just seems....doubtful


I'm 24 and *I* fit in an oven


That's hot
 
2009-02-10 09:31:34 PM
"Lady, don't even think about it"
img.photobucket.com
 
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