nekom: That's all well and good, but with only one leg, how in the world is he going to develop his silly walk?

He's already got one, thanks to the Taliban.

/not amused.

I hear that he got this position by winning an a$$ kicking contest

Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

sonofslacker: Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

It has the crown jewels too ... certainly not the most boring attraction in London

It's amazing he's able to do that since you know everyone's got a leg up on him.

"... and you, a unidexter, feel you are right for the part?"

sab6300: It has the crown jewels too ... certainly not the most boring attraction in London

...and the armory, and some other neat, historical stuff. I was in London again in 2008, and went to the Tower. Very neat. I found it pretty cool that they had the grassy field and some houses that looked like they belonged in some sort of village, not some fortified prison/armory.

sonofslacker: Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

It was a prison but it held those who were accused of high treason. There was quite a lot of royalty held there including Queen Elizabeth 1 and (in)famous figures like Guy Fawkes. It's also famous for its ravens (like crows but much bigger and meaner) and there's a legend that if the ravens ever leave the Tower of London, Britain will fall.

It's also where the crown jewels are on display (although it's never quite clear if you're seeing the real things or glass replicas).

Mostly it's a huge giant slice of history

His first choice for guard duty:

In respect to his handicap, the Queen has authorized him to carry the the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch

Gotta love those BeefEaters

Sound like something out of a Clancy book. Cool.

At least he does not have to worry about his country trying to screw him out of medical support like Americans do.

abigsmurf: sonofslacker: Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

Mostly it's a huge giant slice of history


Even if it was empty, I'd still be impressed by its age.

sonofslacker: Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

Gitmo wasn't built over 700 years before the US even existed.

This is cool, but let's not lose our heads. It's the Tower of London.

props to the farker who ran over a mile with a grown man on his back. jeebus.

/waitaminute... what kinda limey estimates in miles anyway?

sonofslacker: Can some English farker explain to me what the big deal is about the Tower of London? It was a prison, right? What the hell, I can't imagine Gitmo a tourist spot anytime ever.

It's where they keep Excalibur and the scorched bones of those Frenchies that taunted the so-called "Arthur King".

Came here for one-legged man jokes, and am not leaving disappointed.

/raising a glass of warm beer to the Guardsman, too

ringersol: props to the farker who ran over a mile with a grown man on his back. jeebus.

/waitaminute... what kinda limey estimates in miles anyway?

Most people in the UK use miles for distances. Kilometres are too 'foreign'.

Soldiers of the Queen's Guard are charged with protecting royal residences in London including Buckingham Palace, St James's Palace and the Tower of London, as well as Windsor Castle. They are usually supplied by one of the five foot guard regiments, which include the Grenadier Guards.

That's a lot of mighty small guards.

The entry fee to the Tower is steep, but the Beefeater tours make it worthwhile. The ones I've met are all old-salt NCO types. I heard you need a certain length of service and at least the rank of Sergeant to apply for the job.

It's Yeoman Warder you dam yanks.

Picture of the Grenadier Guard in battle.

/DESTROOOOOOOOO

Captain Darling: The entry fee to the Tower is steep, but the Beefeater tours make it worthwhile. The ones I've met are all old-salt NCO types. I heard you need a certain length of service and at least the rank of Sergeant to apply for the job.

Apparently: "All warders are retired from the British Armed Forces and must be former senior non-commissioned officers with at least 22 years of service. They must also hold the Long Service and Good Conduct medals. NCOs from the Army, Royal Marines and Royal Air Force are eligible to apply, but members of the Royal Navy are not, because while members of the other services take oaths to the Crown, members of the Navy take an oath to the Admiralty."

God doesn't "heal" amputees because they aren't "sick". You won't die from a stump. So quit asking that.

Those beefeater guys are cool shiat. Talked to one and got a good pic (they said they do get free gin). Unlike those smucks with the tall bear hats who can't talk. Also the tower is worth the visit. Just don't do that stupid double decker bus tour shiat. Not worth it. Just take the subway and walk. Also mind the gap.

trappedspirit: God doesn't "heal" amputees because they aren't "sick". You won't die from a stump. So quit asking that.

That's... good to know. I guess.

Am I missing a meme here?

This remins me of when Cornwalis was sent to the US. Didn't work out too well for ye did it?

Tower is the most awesome thing in London, and the beef eaters are double plus good awesome. They're not only war heroes, but the most interesting and engaging docents you'll ever experience at a historical site. Our family still throws around some of their humorous banter:

Beef Eater (BE): Any Yanks in the crowd? Americans, eh? (Hands raise)
BE: Well, this could be your history too, if you paid your damn taxes!
BE: Any Aussies? Australians? Anyone? (Hands raise)
BE: Let you out on parole, did they?
BE: Canadians? (people getting smart by now) Surely there's at least one? Yes? You? (points at family reluctantly raising hands) What kind? French or English?
Tourist: We're from Newfoundland
BE: Oh, well Newfies- they hardly count now, do they? Come now, do we have any Canadians in the group? (some hands raise) Yes, and again, what kind?
Tourists: French
BE: French, eh? Bet it kills you to see the Queen on your money. All right then, let's get this clear: Are there any REAL Canadians in the group? (hands raise) English? Yes? (heads nod)
BE: Well, congratulations - this is your history too, but you get better dental care than we do.

And he went on and on like that. And despite all the humor (or perhaps because of it), we really learned a lot. Well worth the price and time spent.

tillerman's got it down on the Yeomans' patter. These guys are pretty damn charming. I found it kind of odd that these were mostly highly trained veterans who now basically act in show business, but hey, good on 'em if they like the job.

I loved seeing the Tower. I think it cost me around 10 quid, which wasn't too bad. There was the Yeoman, a really cool old chapel with dead people in the walls, wonderful architecture (you can see how it could be pretty damn defensable as a fortress), tons of historical items including the oldest wooden sculpture in the world and King Henry VIII's personal full-plate armour, and finally, the biggest damn diamond I have ever seen (Carnahan I)...as big as a goddamn tennis ball!

All in all, a really cool place. I hope this soldier likes it. After Afghanistan, he deserves whatever post he damn well wants.

If you visit the tower, check out Henry VIII's armored codpiece. I nerarly threw up I was laughing so much. It's like something out of Blackadder.

Suede head: If you visit the tower, check out Henry VIII's armored codpiece. I nerarly threw up I was laughing so much. It's like something out of Blackadder.

Hahaha...totally! That thing was the medieval equivalent of an H2! Either ole Henry had to keep tweezers by his privy or I feel sorry for his wives...

Also pretty interesting was two sets of plate reserved for the crown princes (the ones Richard murdered)...wee little battle armor.

That's the Tower - a mix of really cool stuff and morbid, bloody history.

I guess the Queen was pretty embarrassed by that guard who kicked the tourist.