It's a dead catfish, asshole!

I, for one, have never tongued a dead trout. But I am open to new experiences if subby is willing to elucidate.

submitter: Scientists discover what makes a kiss hot,


This carrot tastes musty!


Damn Oompa Loompa's!

I bet it helps if you like the person, instead of just wanting to entwine your genitals with them.

MorningBreath: I kissed a girl, and I think I like it.

Whatever, alt.

I'm a terrible kisser, but the one woman I was "good with" would salivate like a bulldog if there was tongue involved. I'm talking spit dripping down the side of her face kind of salivating.

I have to admit, I liked it. Having that kind of physical response on another human being is nice.

Her nether regions were gushers, too. I always figured she had some daily regimen of drinking 4 gallons of water just to survive.

PoopStain: I'm a terrible kisser, but the one woman I was "good with" would salivate like a bulldog if there was tongue involved. I'm talking spit dripping down the side of her face kind of salivating.

I have to admit, I liked it. Having that kind of physical response on another human being is nice.

Her nether regions were gushers, too. I always figured she had some daily regimen of drinking 4 gallons of water just to survive.

Oh holy shiat I think I woke up everyone in the county laughing.

Quasar: Her research looked at the impact of kissing on levels of two hormones, oxytocin and cortisol, in 15 male-female couples before and after holding hands and before and after kissing.

In the interest of science, I need to test several hundred female-female couples in this same experiment.

Of course you shall also need a single male test subject to rigorously test the female samples, and I do hereby volunteer.

Science, someone has to do it.

tshetter: PoopStain: I'm a terrible kisser, but the one woman I was "good with" would salivate like a bulldog if there was tongue involved. I'm talking spit dripping down the side of her face kind of salivating.

I have to admit, I liked it. Having that kind of physical response on another human being is nice.

Her nether regions were gushers, too. I always figured she had some daily regimen of drinking 4 gallons of water just to survive.

Oh holy shiat I think I woke up everyone in the county laughing.

you did jackhole. thanks a lot

My first boyfriend was a horrible kisser. He shoved his tongue in your mouth and DID NOT MOVE. JUST HELD IT THERE. Augh. Horrible. Icky. Bad.

Fiancee? Way better -- even though I was his first kiss. Maybe it was the fact I trained him...

AMurderOfCrows: My first boyfriend was a horrible kisser. He shoved his tongue in your mouth and DID NOT MOVE. JUST HELD IT THERE. Augh. Horrible. Icky. Bad.

Fiancee? Way better -- even though I was his first kiss. Maybe it was the fact I trained him...

Wow...the limp tongue is a really horrible technique Im glad ive never ran into anyone implmenting that.

I remember my first kiss being in a refrigerator box with a girl from down the street when we were about 10.

We watched some movie with people kissing then went inside the box to try it.

Once we got to HS she developed some big boobs and wanted nothing to do with me. Broke my heart. =(

Dunno if that really counts as a first kiss, the next one wasnt for like 5 more years and was horribly fumbled and awkward.

Damn being a kid was fun.

tonguing-a-dead-trout experience that you bring to the table

Oh come on, your mom didn't smell that bad

cryinoutloud: I bet it helps if you like the person, instead of just wanting to entwine your genitals with them.

Wait, what? There's such a thing?

I'm disappointed that TFA has no instructions on how not to kiss like a dead trout.

One ex-girlfriend of mine was a decent kisser, when it was mouth-to-mouth. Unfortunately, she liked to have her ears played with, so she assumed her partner did too. I'm talking full on slobbering, wet, tongue-in-the-canal, need-Q-tips-to-clean-up aural excursions. A bit of nipping and licking in unconventional places can be good, but if I have to get a towel to clean my ears off afterward it's gone too far.

cryinoutloud: I bet it helps if you like the person, instead of just wanting to entwine your genitals with them.

Can't it be both?

PoopStain:

Her nether regions were gushers, too. I always figured she had some daily regimen of drinking 4 gallons of water just to survive.

Did your face look like a glazed doughnut afterwards?

I gotta admit, as much as I want to be heard saying things like, well, it's the personality, you know, and compatability, and blah blah blah, I can't help but put a major value in kissing. There was this one girl, and there were so many red flags that I ended up ignoring because damn if she wasn't the best kisser I've ever met. Still.

Worst kisser I ever had was a slobberer. Ughhh, I really don't want drool all over my face. That was an instant deal breaker. Best kissers are the ones whose tongues are very soft and mobile.

Unfortunately my boyfriend is so insanely ticklish all over his body that I rarely get to kiss other than a peck on the lips. Even his goddamn tongue is too ticklish. Sometimes after he's numbed with alcohol we can kiss properly but I don't think I've had a real kiss in six months. Kinda depressing.

Anyone else know men that are violently ticklish? I'm just wondering how much of a freak my boyfriend is. One touch, even if he knows you're touching him, sends him into a flailing spaz attack.

Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.

platkat: "If you're sharing your germs with somebody, you're boosting your internal defence system."

Sings the chorus of the desperate, "I need a kiss! My health is at stake!"

I think I'll have to use this one...

Ironclad2: Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.

Where do you come up with this shiat?!!

worst kisser i ever experienced went in like a shop-vac vacuum cleaner. Wide open mouth; felt like he wanted to eat my lungs.

second worst kisser had a similar approach but also had some violent tongue action so it felt like he was giving me a dental exam. I liked this guy, so I was honest with him and gave him some suggestions on how to do this better (he hadn't had much experience before I guess). Well, we're married now and he's a good kisser now. So lesson learned, if you like the person but the kisses aren't great, teach him!

I will date the girl from Venus
Flowers die and so must I.
Yes I will kiss the girl from Venus
For science!


/I'm so brave, I'm so brave.
//I'll be her love slave.

guy nailing the blonde: Ironclad2: Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.

Where do you come up with this shiat?!!

He sounds like the type of guy who would beg for sex!

Kissing releases hormones that make you feel happy, excited, or relaxed. Damn, I would never have guessed that if some psychologist hadn't told me.

/I weep for the future of science funding