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(Some Guy)   Farker needs ideas for team-building exercises. How to get to know your colleagues in a way which will be fun and engaging?   ( divider line
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1405 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2003 at 3:45 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-01-27 03:55:54 PM  

A great idea is to present them with a scenario. For example, tell them to pretend they are the manager of the department they work in. The Human Resources director then tell you that because the Board expects the recession to last longer than expected, some people will have to be laid off. Which of the people under their supervision would they lay off, and why ?

Then break them off into pairs for 20 minutes, then ask them for their results. No better way to get to know your fellow employee.

2003-01-27 03:55:56 PM  
anal sex
2003-01-27 03:56:03 PM  
Strip solitaire.
2003-01-27 03:56:35 PM  
sac races
2003-01-27 03:56:39 PM  
drop them all off in the woods with nothing but a knife and box of condoms.

second thought, skip the knife
2003-01-27 03:56:50 PM  
Now With VOTING:
a vote for me is a vote for giving them stupid dorky geeky loser rpg cards.
2003-01-27 03:57:46 PM  
How about if all the girls blow all the boys?
2003-01-27 03:57:47 PM  
Nude twister- now with voting
2003-01-27 03:57:47 PM  
You tread on difficult terrain with this goal. 99% of all of these excercises are immediately looked at as frivolous and pointless. The only people who go gung-ho are those who are trying to impress the management, and those are typically your worst true team-players.

The best way to really get a team together is to make them friends. Go out to a bar after work and have some drinks. Go to the local minor league baseball/hockey/whatever game. You have to get people to relax, be real, and create a situation where no one takes over, and no one is left out.

If you have one guy who is a hardcore drinker, and another who is a hardcore mormon, you've already got some serious issues with the constitution of your team. Just give up, fire them all, and start over. Keep trying until you actually get a group that can stand working together.

There's nothing worse than suffering on a team you don't like and can't identify with. If you get like-minded thinkers together, then your job will be easy.
2003-01-27 03:58:13 PM  
If you do a "team building exercise" all your employees will hate you, and rightly so.
2003-01-27 03:58:38 PM  
Play an inter-office game of Assassins. You have to learn everyone's name, plus you begin the long process of mistrust that is virtal in every office setting.
2003-01-27 03:58:40 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-27 03:58:49 PM  
Cant forget taking HUGE bongloads, nothing builds commarradary like getting stoned with your co-workers. Free cheetos help too...
mmmmnnn Cheetos....
2003-01-27 03:58:57 PM  
2003-01-27 03:59:07 PM  
I worked at a climbing gym for a while and the teambuilding program we had there kicked ass. Fun, physically challenging, interpersonal. Try that.

No voting because this post is not funny at all.
2003-01-27 03:59:17 PM  

Am I the only one here that recognises that from a dilbert?

yeah, I know I'm sad, so don't point that out...
2003-01-27 03:59:39 PM  
Paintball or Laser-tag.

Tons of fun. Definitely team building.
2003-01-27 03:59:50 PM  
pack them all in a van and tell them you're going to bring them out to a park for peace and quiet. make them leave all their "noisy items" - cell phones, beepers, etc. - in the van while they're in the park.

when they're all off the van, put the pedal to the metal! vroooom!
2003-01-27 04:00:21 PM  
Harry Potter Ecstasy.
2003-01-27 04:00:32 PM  
Get everyone together after work, head into town and beat up a homeless person. Nothing gets a relationship working like the rythmic sound of people kicking ribs in unison...
2003-01-27 04:00:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
This usually works for me.
2003-01-27 04:01:05 PM  
One person is designated as "it", and that person runs around and tries to touch someone else. If they succeed, the person they touch is now "it" and tries to chase everyone else. Repeat indefinately.
2003-01-27 04:01:49 PM  
Get everyone together after work, head into town and beat up a homeless person. Nothing gets a relationship working like the rythmic sound of people kicking ribs in unison... with voting.
2003-01-27 04:02:05 PM  
Depends on how much you can do in the name of team building. In the past I have done the following:

2.5 hour lunch and pool at a local bar
Fellowship of the Ring movie during work (opening day)
The Two Towers movie during work (opening day)
2 hour picnic lunch/cookout (took one guy to the hospital - frisbee accident)

We also built relationships with other teams by hosting a 2 hour potluck lunch (we provided all the stuff) for 11 other development teams. (hint: bribe the cleaning people to clean up after you)
2003-01-27 04:02:28 PM  
Strand them all on a leaky boat, 10 days' drift from the nearest shipping lane, with only 5 days' rations of water. Supply them all with knives, garottes and lead pipes.
You'll soon find out where their loyalties lie.
2003-01-27 04:02:34 PM  
The only time anyone I work with has ever been even mildly engaging OR fun is when they're drunk and I'm not.
2003-01-27 04:02:41 PM  
Rude Kegs and Eggs, dead give away for a Buckeye. :)
2003-01-27 04:03:01 PM  
Make everyone tell one secret about themselves that no one else in the group knows. Then drink and get naked.
2003-01-27 04:03:43 PM  
how about a rousing game of grab ass?
2003-01-27 04:03:51 PM  
Hand everyone a list of every person in the company and their exact salary, right up through the CEO. Then say, "Come on team, let's work together!"
2003-01-27 04:03:56 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Just bring in this guy.
2003-01-27 04:04:08 PM  
Bukkake. Creamy teambuilding goodness.
2003-01-27 04:05:19 PM  
I liked the kidnapping scenario, but I personally recomend making teams and playing your favorite first person "shoot em up"on a LAN or in the same room so you can easily hear each other scream and talk trash.
2003-01-27 04:05:44 PM  
I'd got with 10... no 12-penny nails to start with, but you may wanna use some of those Jesus-sized nails for the base. (And don't use those teflon nails, they slip right out of bone and flesh.)

Now, there will be screaming while you nail people together to "build" your team, but in the end -- it'll be worth it.
2003-01-27 04:06:15 PM  
Ugh. "Teambuilding." I've been through that process with a few different companies and it usually boils down to the same inane series of events that bore the crap out of everyone.
One quick one that didn't annoy me was everyone had to name three jobs: two they'd had, and one they made up. Everyone has to guess which job the person lied about.
So when I said "911 operator, DJ and ambulance driver" people had to guess that "ambulance driver" was the one I had never actually done.
I liked it because you get to learn a quick thing about your peers, and you also get to see people's weird decision making process.
But if you work with them long enough you'll see that anyway. :)
2003-01-27 04:06:18 PM  
2003-01-27 04:06:26 PM  
Do like my company. Pay the employees nothing, fill them with fals hope of the future, work them into the dirt, give them no resources and then make them feel bad when they don't make infinite progress while the employers accomplish nothing in the same time.

I'm on the strongest team ever.
2003-01-27 04:08:06 PM  
disc golf, or dodge ball
2003-01-27 04:08:19 PM  
Chastain86 has a good one. I have done pretty much the same thing but with our own we made up two more. Then people had to vote which one was true.
2003-01-27 04:08:44 PM  
Farh them. Every man for himself. If anyone believes their co-workers won't sell their nuts for a 50 cent raise, they're just bullshiating themselves.
2003-01-27 04:08:46 PM  
Improvisation games can be good team builders if you do the right ones. All improv games require certain traits that good teams also need:
- good communication and listening skills
- an open mind
- acceptance of your circumstances/improvising with the hand you're dealt (as opposed to trying to drag a scene/situation in a direction that you would prefer)

Plus the games require people to be kinda silly & loosen up around each other. If people refuse to do silly things with everyone else, you can force them to do silly things FOR everyone else! :)

Here's one site full of improv games.

Here's an even better one.

One more for good measure.
2003-01-27 04:09:14 PM  
Well, since orgy has been taken about a hundred times over, how about hiring an investigator to spy on your colleagues? In all seriousness, though, the people who do this for a living are all idiots. Gather their suggestions for the sole purpose of learning what not to do then apply the imagination and common sense you were born with to think up something that will work for your particular situation. You can do it.
2003-01-27 04:09:27 PM  
river rafting followed by a round of kumbaya
2003-01-27 04:09:51 PM  
Apologies in advance for the serious submittal.

I go to lots of meetings, some of them week-long affairs. Most people loath the teambuilding stuff, but it actually does help to get everyone thinking of each other as human beings with feelings and such. The one I thought was both the easiest and one of the most effective was to simply go around the room and have each person introduce themselves, stating one thing about themselves that no one else in the room knows. Usually some of the people in the room know each other at least a little, so it can be a bit hard to come up with something.

The things people offer up are usually hobbies and such. It doesn't really matter. It's enough to get people relating to each other on a more human level, and no one has to wear a silly hat to do it.
2003-01-27 04:11:24 PM  
2003-01-27 04:11:50 PM  
Go camping in the wilderness and take a shiatload of psyllocibin mushrooms or (even better) mescaline, everyone together. You've never known anyone as intimately as when you can see right through them. And I mean see RIGHT farkING THROUGH THEM...and out into the great vastness of the universe, to find the edge of it, rub up against its finiteness, to forget your own selfish trip in life and concentrate on bringing Cindy from accounting back down from the badlands of her childhood abuse, to tell her that you love her, and none of that possessive/sexual/jealous bag, man, that you love her because she's HER, and because she's perfect for her time and place. Show her she's needed by the world, and that you're there for her, as you are there for all humanity. You are a turtle, emerging from a shell of uptight All-American Protestant Rules, man, you're getting in touch with your SPIRIT, the one from the other side....the free, wild, unleashed animal in you....

Trust me, there won't be any of that awkwardness at the water cooler after you've seen Tim from marketing naked, covered in his own vomit, and laughing at God....
2003-01-27 04:12:12 PM  
FLA Chickie

I prefer tits 'n' grits for breakfast. But I'm just funny that way.
2003-01-27 04:13:07 PM  
Head helps that...
2003-01-27 04:13:57 PM  
How bout a fun filled afternoon of a fark photoshop contest
2003-01-27 04:14:06 PM  
I've seriously tried to get paintball approved as a team-building exercise for myself and my fellow system administrators. For some reason the suits turn us down.

Other options:
Circle jerk, orgy, bar hopping, egging the CEO's house, installing cameras into the women's bathrooms and proceeding to rate the secretaries on how hot they are, etc.

There's a world of opportunities, if only you use some imagination.
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