Bathia_Mapes: And not just any "vampyre" either. It's Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey. This guy is batshiat crazy. He's made a bid at running for president several times. He's run a Minnesota's governor, etc.

I can't take him seriously when he's wearing a rose colored velour cape.

Frikkin' bat trash.

Wasn't this a South Park episode?

He'll get to meet the impaler in prison alright...

People who use the word 'vampyre' are precisely the people who use the word 'magick'.

Twilight has poisoned my generation.
-_-'

Fellow students. Over the past week there's been a lot of confusion, and so we have asked for this assembly to clarify the difference between Goth kids and Vampire kids.

Let us make it abundantly clear: if you hate life, truly hate the sun, and need to smoke and drink coffee, you are Goth.

If, however, you like dressing in black 'cause it's "fun," enjoy putting sparkles on your cheeks and following the occult while avoiding things that are bad for your health, then you are most likely a douchebag vampire wannabe boner. Because anybody who thinks they are actually a vampire is freaking retarded.

whaaa???

That's creepy as fukc.

Miss Smartass: Twilight has poisoned my generation.
-_-'

It is an unholy blight upon the earth. All of its minions should be put to the sword, and its bindings and pages put consigned to the flames.

/I hate twatlighters

I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

No goth chick thread?

/Teen + "vampyre hunter" = 99.999% chance of hotness
//Not so much the "dating a 44-year-old" part

Where's Peter Vincent when you need him?

/not obscure

Atomic Spunk: I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

How was his hair?

Miss Smartass 2009-02-04 08:59:14 PM
Twilight has poisoned my generation.
-_-'

Dont worry, this guy is too old to be in our generation. The girl however...

/ I agree with the whole Twilight thing. Terrible.

Dressing like a vampire: sometimes cool

Actually saying you're a vampire: pathetic and stupid attention whoring

Some people seriously need lessons in separating fact from fiction. I'm talking you, creepy Twilight fangirls.

There is one cure for people who pretend to be imaginary things: SEX.

If they are already having sex, then the answer is HUMAN CRUELTY.

A self-described "vampyre" and former fringe political candidate faces charges for threatening a teenage girl who tried to break off their relationship by telling him she was actually a vampire hunter.

Fringe? Fred Thompson is fringe. This guy is waaaay past fringe.

Batshiat Crazy indeed, lol

The complaint says Sharkey told a Rochester police sergeant who called him last August that he was a vampire "who needs to drink human blood for strength." It says he referred to the Rochester girl as his wife and princess. Last August he also wrote a letter threatening to sue the county attorney's office for wrongful and vindictive prosecution.

/Stupid too.

The hat that comes with the job IS pretty cool...

If he's a vampyre, then why is the photo of him taken during the day, outside, IN THE SUN!? Did he burst into flames as the photo was taken?

okami36: Atomic Spunk: I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

How was his hair?

It was greasy and barely edible. Just like the chicken.

Roman Polanski frowns on these shenanigans.

okami36: Atomic Spunk: I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

How was his hair?

perfect.....doot!

Atomic Spunk: okami36: Atomic Spunk: I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

How was his hair?

It was greasy and barely edible. Just like the chicken.

Why were you noming his head???

He looks like the kind of guy who has to be at the crypt in 26 minutes.

Satanism great and all, but the hokey theatrics are too silly for me. Maybe that's part of the allure... *shrug*.

Arkanaut:
/Teen + "vampyre hunter" = 99.999% chance of hotness


You are seriously over estimating the subculture

New Jersey Vampires

I hate New Jersey Vampires

*Revs the Bluesmobile*

okami36: Atomic Spunk: I saw Jonathon Starkey at P.F. Chang's eating the garlic chicken last week. I doubt he's really a vampyre.

How was his hair?

Perfect.

Mr. Coffee Nerves I'm sure he works at the most sinister Cinnabon at the mall.

I think it's time we had a



:)

jso2897: He looks like the kind of guy who has to be at the crypt in 26 minutes.

To be fair, sunrise is kind of a hard deadline.

Bathia_Mapes: And not just any "vampyre" either. It's Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey. This guy is batshiat crazy. He's made a bid at running for president several times. He's run a Minnesota's governor, etc.

Wait, this tool has a Wikipedia page?

I weep for human civilization.

/salty tears and whatnot
//whatnot

That kid sounds pretty lame, per say.

Oh, for Christ's sake, grow up, asshat.

I also heard he was ungroundable