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(London Times)   Why women hate it when their partners are laid off. Because men can do domestic stuff more creatively and efficiently than them, basically   (women.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 361
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21690 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2009 at 7:51 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-01-31 09:32:01 PM
paygun: castufari: (sorry, but I'm not driving an extra 8 miles because the canned chickpeas are 10 cents/can cheaper) nor will I drive all the way across town to Target because deodorant is cheaper.

You won't because you don't want to. They love that shiat.


I know, I used to hear about it constantly. "Why did you go to _______? That soap is 14 cents cheaper at Target!". Ok, 1 gallon of gas at 1.89/gallon to save 14 cents? No. Unless I have a reason to be near the place I won't do it. There are exceptions, there is this one coffee place that has a morning barista that is smoking hawt, I don't mind driving a little extra to lay my eyes on her slim yet muscular bod.
 
2009-01-31 09:32:44 PM
I just have to say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

My husband would let everything in the house go to complete pot except the dishes. I will give him that - he had food poisoning once when he was a bachelor and he does the dishes better than I could ever hope to. When he really wants something clean he obsesses over the tiniest details. Every day he does the dishes and before cooking he washes down the stove and cooking areas to his satisfaction, no matter how clean it was to start with.

But laundry, sweeping, cleaning the toilet? He'd have to be in DIRE straits or suffer a complete personality change before those things get on his 'to do' list.
 
2009-01-31 09:33:23 PM
Magnanimous_J: Wall Anchor: The sane ones are, they're just really hard to find. Often they don't surface until their 40s. Just like the men, basically. :)

I'd settle for one that doesn't view relationships as one never ending job interview.


This works in our favor. At some point when you've had enough of her shiat you intentionally flunk the interview. Problem solved.

To be fair...the women would like men who don't view relationships as an ever-improving series of samples from each bucket in the ice cream display case.

The sexes are wired these ways. We just have to deal with it....
 
2009-01-31 09:33:38 PM
I drive my wife nuts when I do housework, precisely because I can get it done 300% faster and with 1000% less biatching. It also makes her nuts that I can get the kids to listen to me without screaming like an insane banshee.

Of course, it takes a lot less time to do dishes and vacuum and parent if you're not on the damn phone talking to your mom and your sister 20x per day.
 
2009-01-31 09:35:30 PM
Blink: I'd like to put forth the argument that if every man you've ever dated is a slob -- perhaps the problem isn't the men you're dating, but rather your abilities in selecting a mate.

/mirrors are powerful things


My comment wasn't so much meant to be taken literally as it was mockery of some of the attitudes in this thread.
 
2009-01-31 09:36:24 PM
One of the anecdotes I remember from Friedan's The Feminine Mystique (one of the major feminist books of the 50s/60s) was about a bachelor who said on a radio show that he could do everything a housewife did during a day in a much shorter period of time (45 mins? a couple of hours?). Some couple called him on it, so he showed up at their house one day and pulled it off, doing everything well.

The idea was that a full-time housewife isn't really adding any value and is throwing away her life.
 
2009-01-31 09:36:48 PM
I'm a much better cook than my wife and she only does stuff like grill a slice of meat and steam vegetables. Everything else is my job.

She is a disinterested cleaner at best. If she gets really motivated, you can tell she made an effort but it will all need to be done again. She may take half an hour to do a bathroom but it won't be much cleaner when she leaves than when she started. I can have it much cleaner in 5 minutes than she can in 30. That's the efficiently part.

She's not much good at anything else either but we live in a community property state so I'd take too much of a beating to get rid of her. Fortunately, I live in a neighborhood where a couple of the husbands are totally self-involved and disinterested in the marriage so I am sufficiently "entertained" by friends. Is that the "creatively" part?
 
2009-01-31 09:37:32 PM
karac825: refrigeratorelf: karac825: refrigeratorelf: Superjoe: I had to explain to my girlfriend how to make frozen waffles, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies...

It can be tough to make a good frozen waffle without that one spot that gets soggy...

That's because you're a woman. You do not have the secret.

au contraire! It took awhile, but I mastered the secret. Not being able to actually cook, I've learned the art of toaster foods well.

Dammit! My first attempt at trolling and you crushed it.


Sorry! I can never tell the difference between tongue-in-cheek and trolling :(

It won't happen again!
 
2009-01-31 09:38:00 PM
Wall Anchor: joltek: home care is so farking hard with vacuum cleaner, washing machine and dryer

THIS.

It takes me 3 hours a week to keep the house vacced. baths/toilets washed, laundry done. More with grocery shopping, but I like to do that. I'm proud of my ability to make heathly meals in a snap from stuff that came out of the produce aisle and not some box of processed sodium-laden spooge that's labeled "organic" and promises to be ready in 9 minutes.


This is true. The next step is having all three kids help out. In our scatter instead of "Thank you for the pizza, Dad," each of my children take turns helping in the garden, helping shopping, cooking and cleaning. Each of them can cook meals from ingredients "on the grocery store walls" and clean up.

There might have been a few issues with my children early on with "Why do I have to do it?" but those didn't last long.

In some ways their esteem picked up when there were no such things as "Nanny's jobs" and "Dad's jobs." There was just stuff to be done, and it was obvious to everyone when it wasn't done.
 
2009-01-31 09:40:22 PM
There's a fine line between innovation and laziness that men dance along when it comes to chores.

For starters, I never make the bed and when I do laundry I have a system with a "clean clothes basket" and a "dirty clothes basket." Clothes go from the dryer to the clean clothes basket, and they stay there until I've worn them all.
 
2009-01-31 09:40:30 PM
elvindeath: I drive my wife nuts when I do housework, precisely because I can get it done 300% faster and with 1000% less biatching. It also makes her nuts that I can get the kids to listen to me without screaming like an insane banshee.

Of course, it takes a lot less time to do dishes and vacuum and parent if you're not on the damn phone talking to your mom and your sister 20x per day.


Holy f*ck did I write that? It sure feels like it.

Just replace mom & sis with "her lesbian BFF".

+1 to you
 
2009-01-31 09:41:49 PM
Pff... I have a job, cook, clean, AND play video games.

I make awesome chili, pizza (dough, sauce and all) from scratch, boneless chicken wings and any baked goods you could ever crave. So there.
 
2009-01-31 09:41:50 PM
No Such Agency: I think the secret is that "handy" guys don't sweat the small stuff so much and aren't as worried about how it "should" be done. Of course the downside is, when this approach goes awry... it goes motherfarking AWRY.

Truer words were never spoken.
 
2009-01-31 09:42:15 PM
Nicholas Urfe: The idea was that a full-time housewife isn't really adding any value and is throwing away her life.

So the ones who work quickly are more likely to be bored, and thus more likely to fark the milkman?
 
2009-01-31 09:43:54 PM
My inner Calvinist knew that only by grasping frugality with both hands would I find peace. We used the redundancy money to pay down the mortgage and drew up a budget to see how far we could reduce our outgoings. I found this quite empowering. Then he said: "So, haircuts: barber, £9 every couple of months. How much are yours?" This is information I have never shared and don't plan to, ever. Even if I'd halved it, he would have been amazed.

So what she's saying is that her inner Calvinist was defeated by her outer hypocrite. The best thing for him to do would be to spend what she spends on hair and shoes each month on strippers and blow. Just to keep the relationship equitable.
 
2009-01-31 09:46:28 PM
Skyday: Pff... I have a job, cook, clean, AND play video games.

I make awesome chili, pizza (dough, sauce and all) from scratch, boneless chicken wings and any baked goods you could ever crave. So there.


And your attractive. Now all you have to do is master the art of not interrupting when the men are talking and you would be the perfect woman.
 
2009-01-31 09:46:38 PM
I've got to agree with the article... I found myself surprisingly apt around the kitchen. During a transition between employers, I became bored with wrenching on my car (which is a rarity) and remembered my wife mentioning wanting a cake the night before.

I whipped a pretty mean pineapple upside down cake together, and delivered it to my wifes office, where she swore up and down that I had bought it from the store.

I messed up. Now I can't claim incompetence in the kitchen to get out of shiat.
 
2009-01-31 09:46:45 PM
refrigeratorelf: karac825: refrigeratorelf: karac825: refrigeratorelf: Superjoe: I had to explain to my girlfriend how to make frozen waffles, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies...

It can be tough to make a good frozen waffle without that one spot that gets soggy...

That's because you're a woman. You do not have the secret.

au contraire! It took awhile, but I mastered the secret. Not being able to actually cook, I've learned the art of toaster foods well.

Dammit! My first attempt at trolling and you crushed it.

Sorry! I can never tell the difference between tongue-in-cheek and trolling :(

It won't happen again!


You will always be forgivin. Just remember, the next time you find that moldy mystery bowl, that was revenge. :)
 
2009-01-31 09:47:07 PM
Zamboro: Sufficed to say I was gradually conditioned to enjoy hard work and to undertake it of my own volition rather than being told to.

As a parent who wasn't raised in a strong Quaker household, I really, really would like you to explain exactly how this can be done to my own children. Soon.
 
2009-01-31 09:47:26 PM
OscarTamerz: My inner Calvinist knew that only by grasping frugality with both hands would I find peace. We used the redundancy money to pay down the mortgage and drew up a budget to see how far we could reduce our outgoings. I found this quite empowering. Then he said: "So, haircuts: barber, £9 every couple of months. How much are yours?" This is information I have never shared and don't plan to, ever. Even if I'd halved it, he would have been amazed.

So what she's saying is that her inner Calvinist was defeated by her outer hypocrite. The best thing for him to do would be to spend what she spends on hair and shoes each month on strippers and blow. Just to keep the relationship equitable.


If she spends so much on her hair she's embarrassed to divulge the amount, I can almost guarantee she spends an obscene amount on shoes as well. So he should probably dream a bit bigger than strippers and blow. Maybe a secret second life.
 
2009-01-31 09:48:01 PM
Anybody else do this one? You and your wife agree to do a chore each - like "oh, honey, I'll take care of the dishes since you wanted to get the laundry started sooner".

And then, either because of telling you about her day, or because of a phonecall, you manage to do all the dishes before she even gets downstairs to start the laundry.

I imagine a housewife can fill 8 hours that way pretty easily.

At least I know where my wasted time goes. My Fark acount and my TASpring account both have the logs.
 
2009-01-31 09:48:17 PM
Bah, what I hate is that unless my wife personally witnesses me scrubbing the floor she just assumes that I don't do shiat.

Actual conversation:

Her: "I am really stressed at work and I need you to help out more around the house".
Me: "Ok, quick question. Have you noticed that your clothes magically make their way from the floor to the clothes hamper? Or that there is never a single dirty dish in the sink whenever I am around? In fact, when was the last time you can remember actually washing dishes."
Her:..............*blank stare*....well, I do laundry!
Me: "no, you put one load of laundry in the wash, do you think the laundry fairies dry it and fold it, and put it away?"
Her: "You are being a jerk!"
Me: "No, I am simply well aware that we have had this conversation before so I am forced to make a mental note of everything that I do so that I can rattle off a list of things that I have done. Btw, you do realize that our 20 month old daughter is not the one who puts your shoes in the closet after you kick them off EVERY day in the middle of the hallway when you walk in the door, right?"
Her: "You are being unfair!"
Me: "......*sigh*....ok
 
2009-01-31 09:50:40 PM
You get what you go after.

Want a clean house and fireworks in the funroom?

Get yourself an Eastern European girlfriend/wife or an Asian girlfriend/wife.

Or take your chances on the domestic product.
 
2009-01-31 09:52:50 PM
Swede: You get what you go after.

Want a clean house and fireworks in the funroom?

Get yourself an Eastern European girlfriend/wife or an Asian girlfriend/wife.

Or take your chances on the domestic product.


The economy is in the dumps and you're advising people shop elsewhere? For shame!
 
2009-01-31 09:53:24 PM
I am a very good cook with commercial food service and catering experience. I can paint, repair, remodel, upgrade plumbing and electrical, do laundry and some car repairs and I can build computers from scratch, wire A/V, data, telcom and intercoms and alarms.

I'm a dirty sonofabit*ch if I'm gonna scrub the shower after every use or wash dishes by hand.
 
2009-01-31 09:55:12 PM
I'm way to drunk to read TFA
 
2009-01-31 09:55:33 PM
refrigeratorelf
My comment wasn't so much meant to be taken literally as it was mockery of some of the attitudes in this thread.

Well crap, I was just starting to think I was special....

/sulks in corner
//"Now when you say special...." - So not obscure
 
2009-01-31 09:56:45 PM
Swede: You get what you go after.

Want a clean house and fireworks in the funroom?

Get yourself an Eastern European girlfriend/wife or an Asian girlfriend/wife.

Or take your chances on the domestic product.


You may be correct. I have only "enjoyed" the domestic products. Similar to a General Motors car, the domestic products are high maintenance, rather too large, make a lot of complaining noises when you need them to do something and they spend a lot of time in the repair shops.
 
2009-01-31 09:58:29 PM
Magnanimous_J: I think that women today are confused about their roles in the world.

Feminism has taught them to be in charge and take more "masculine" roles. But their biology makes them desire to be submissive to men. hell, even Hilary Clinton likes a good slap on the ass every now and then.

Next, you have a generation of truly pussy men. We're so bad that we're not even called men anymore: we're guys. How many men do you know that have never been in an honest to god fistfight?

So put the two of them together, secure in the knowledge that women control the sex, and viola! We have a social dynamic that is unsatisfying for everyone!

Back in the day we had a social contract. I the man, will go out and work, build bridges, fight wars, cure diseases, and unravel the secrets of the universe to wield godlike power.

You the woman: you keep the place tidy, cook a little something and try not to be a big whore.

And you know what? Everyone was happy


No, they weren't happy. Because humans always have something to be unhappy about. And making everyone follow rules based on generalizations is silly because all people are not alike.

You "women control the sex" guys always make me shake my head in disbelief. Everything is backwards in my relationship. I, the woman, don't control the sex, since I have the greater demand for it. I try not to piss off my husband because then he won't be in the mood, possibly for days. On the other hand, I could be furious about something but the second sex is offered, I kind of forget about whatever else was going on. He knows it works too. I also get completely distracted if he's talking to me while he's naked.

My husband is happiest when he's got things in order and tidied up and he's cooking something new and exciting. I'm happy when I'm working on something or studying. Strangely enough, he's a big guy who looks like he's been in a few fights, I'm a rather petite woman. He stands out as looking more masculine that the average guy in a crowd and I've got other women telling me how tiny and delicate I am, which confuses me since I don't think I am. The looks don't match the brains in the heads.
 
2009-01-31 09:58:43 PM
moike: Girl Wonder can't exactly cook and I do the bulk of the housework... But she can initiate a drift at 155 miles per hour to scrub off speed for a corner and nail apexes with laser precision.

So I'm happy to let it slide.


*clicks profile*

Dude, you have a one-track mind! (as it were)

/Glad you and Girl Wonder found each other
//Great pics
 
2009-01-31 10:00:08 PM
as a woman who was just laid off, and who cooks, cleans, and fold laundry, I am getting a kick out of these replies...wait...never mind...
 
2009-01-31 10:04:46 PM
Skyday: Pff... I have a job, cook, clean, AND play video games.

I make awesome chili, pizza (dough, sauce and all) from scratch, boneless chicken wings and any baked goods you could ever crave. So there.


grrart.com

I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was distracted by your Angelina Joliesque lips. And other Joliesque .... attributes. Nice art on your site too.
 
2009-01-31 10:05:26 PM
mfaby: Women? Your man isnt helping out? Either tell him no sex until he starts or find a new one.

No, no, no! I am so tired of sex being seen as a weapon. It's supposed to be a wonderful celebration between two people who care, not something used to build resentment.

Although, it strikes me that your comment could have been made in jest...but I do know some bimbos who think this way. It makes me weep.
 
2009-01-31 10:06:08 PM
blazemongr: "As a parent who wasn't raised in a strong Quaker household, I really, really would like you to explain exactly how this can be done to my own children. Soon."

Well if my dad is any model to go by, just treat it as implicit that they'll do certain agreed upon chores without having been asked. If one doesn't want to mow in the rain, hand him some scissors and stand over him as he cuts the lawn. Let up after maybe an hour. Make it clear that your money is not their money, that they are not entitled to it and that beyond the bare necessities you're not obligated to spend any of it on them unless it pleases you to do so.

Don't take a harsh tone during any of this. Be the same pleasant, loving father you always are. Smile and laugh as you carry them outside to rake the eaves by their collar and belt buckle. Make jokes as you're boxing up all of their games, movies and DVDs to take to GoodWill because they won't clean their rooms. You can be their friend *and* their parent so long as you make it clear that there's no possible budging on their chores, and that it's a small price to pay to be in your good graces.

My dad wasn't a hardass in most respects. He'd even buy pretty awesome gifts for no reason. He just wouldn't reward work. If he got me something nice it's because he felt like it and he made it clear that I had no control over his spending, as I was a dependent. Work wasn't something that I was owed a reward for, it's something I should be happy to do for the privilege of having four walls, a roof, three meals a day and a warm bed to sleep in. There were no punishments for refusing to work, because once he found out he'd simply make sure I did it even if he had to stand there and watch me the entire time. It was about the principle of it with him.

That seems to be the way to burn the hatred of work out of someone. Worked for me, anyway.
 
2009-01-31 10:07:41 PM
Lexx: Tr0mBoNe: cthu1hu: I use lots of limes in my beer. Problem solved.

Alcohol Abuse!!! STOP PUTTING shiat IN THE BEER!

/screwdrivers and vodkalimes should be enough vit-c

Limes belong in mexican beers and orange slices belong in belgian wheat ales. We'll leave your other beers alone if you'll just shut up about ours.


*applauds. Mexican beer ftw. I do, however put limes in cheap, nasty beer, also. And I drink a lot of cheap, nasty beer.
 
2009-01-31 10:12:33 PM
I was single for 35 years and was used to doing it myself when I finally married. I do mostly all of the cooking and kitchen related duties. I really dont mind I am a better cook than her. I get to eat what I want and if you clean as you cook the mess is easily cleaned. The grocery shopping I happily do because she seems to really get stressed out about it, some kind of disorder I think, no biggie to me. Maintaining the vehicles, livestock,outside pets trash detail are my deal too. She will mow but only if she can do the whole yard if I have started she isnt interested. She wont use the weedeater period...She has a high stress job and I dont and work when I want too. She is my wife and im willing to help anyway I can. She cleans the house, cat sand detail household accounting and laundry seems fair to me...I did have a maid for many years when I lived in mex d.f. but that was back in the past life like a story i read long ago.
Mr.X
 
2009-01-31 10:15:04 PM
FunkOut: You "women control the sex" guys always make me shake my head in disbelief. Everything is backwards in my relationship. I, the woman, don't control the sex, since I have the greater demand for it. I try not to piss off my husband because then he won't be in the mood, possibly for days. On the other hand, I could be furious about something but the second sex is offered, I kind of forget about whatever else was going on. He knows it works too. I also get completely distracted if he's talking to me while he's naked.

I've seen a couple of Farkettes with this story of "my man doesn't satisfy me". What are you shooting for? 2-3 times per week? Per day? Per month?
 
2009-01-31 10:15:55 PM
refrigeratorelf: Guys can certainly clean as well if they put their minds to it (my father was stay-at-home and he took care of household chores), but better? It is a very rare man who can clean better.

It depends on what mood I'm in. When I'm thoroughly cleaning, it's quite thorough. All surfaces dusted, couches de-furred, everything vacuumed (HEPA filter, head set to low). Corners gotten with the vacuum hose, bleach-based cleaners.

It's possible, but it depends on how important it is to the person. Generally speaking, guys care less, so they do less. It's not always the case.
 
2009-01-31 10:16:11 PM
Skyday: Pff... I have a job, cook, clean, AND play video games.

I make awesome chili, pizza (dough, sauce and all) from scratch, boneless chicken wings and any baked goods you could ever crave. So there.


It's criminal that you haven't been sponsored for TF yet (or recently).
 
2009-01-31 10:20:20 PM
So the younger generation can't cook, can't clean, and doesn't know how to do anything except spend money. Hahahhahahahhahahahahaaaha.

Remember that the next time you're leering at some girl 20 years younger than you are.
 
2009-01-31 10:21:18 PM
OscarTamerz: I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was distracted by your Angelina Joliesque lips. And other Joliesque .... attributes. Nice art on your site too.

cthu1hu: It's criminal that you haven't been sponsored for TF yet (or recently).

Sigh.
 
2009-01-31 10:22:18 PM
cryinoutloud: So the younger generation can't cook, can't clean, and doesn't know how to do anything except spend money. Hahahhahahahhahahahahaaaha.

Remember that the next time you're leering at some girl 20 years younger than you are.


Dude, nobody want's to *date* today's ladies. Just want to fark them. Preferably while they wear a ball-gag.
 
2009-01-31 10:22:27 PM
blazemongr: As a parent who wasn't raised in a strong Quaker household, I really, really would like you to explain exactly how this can be done to my own children. Soon.

Positive Disintegration. It took getting near-suicidal, but it was definitely worth it.
 
2009-01-31 10:25:59 PM
No Such Agency: I hate to say it, but yeah... I AM better at doing a lot of stuff than she is. I can tell she doesn't like it much, but she's usually polite enough not to say anything. I think the secret is that "handy" guys don't sweat the small stuff so much and aren't as worried about how it "should" be done. Of course the downside is, when this approach goes awry... it goes motherfarking AWRY.

Brother, you ain't kidding.
 
2009-01-31 10:28:02 PM
Pxtl: Dude, nobody want's to *date* today's ladies. Just want to fark them. Preferably while they wear a ball-gag.

Or, as we call it.. Tuesday at my house..
 
2009-01-31 10:28:13 PM
kunibob: mfaby: Women? Your man isnt helping out? Either tell him no sex until he starts or find a new one.

No, no, no! I am so tired of sex being seen as a weapon. It's supposed to be a wonderful celebration between two people who care, not something used to build resentment.

Although, it strikes me that your comment could have been made in jest...but I do know some bimbos who think this way. It makes me weep.


That's true. But would you want to have sex when you're feeling resentment? I think a lot of women are less likely to than men.

/advocating the devil
 
2009-01-31 10:30:27 PM
brigid_fitch: /Tonight's dinner was turkey w/green bean almondine & yams with bourbon sauce

Will you marry me? Oh wait. Will you marry me after I get divorced?

/Just kidding, but damn. That sounds delicious.
 
2009-01-31 10:31:43 PM
Skyday, what the hell. You come in here, flaunt your interest in gaming and skill at cooking, you've got a stunning photo in your profile, and you're married.

It's like getting the keys to a new sports car in every alcove of an advent calendar, and then you open the last little door on Christmas and it's a little note saying "Those cars are rented, have them back by noon today. Also, you have ball cancer."
 
2009-01-31 10:33:13 PM
All I know is that while all these people on the stupid house-hunting shows want two sinks in their master bathroom (WTF? who of either sex needs the sink itself--not just counter-space--for more than a minute or so in the morning? For that matter, how many couples wake up and go to bed at exactly the same time?) I would much rather have two kitchens.

Things that I frequently think and occasionally say:

"Wow, great job, you have placed used tea bags and eggshells in our sink--which doesn't even have a disposal--yet again."

"Well, I was going to re-use that pot that I cooked pasta in tomorrow, until you put it in the sink and washed whatever-the-hell you just cooked right in to it. So much for that."
 
2009-01-31 10:34:02 PM
Tr0mBoNe: Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Tr0mBoNe: Suede head: Well, vaginas have always mystified me. I mean, they're a hole, an absence. What do you do with them? Cocks are easy. You know where you are with a cock.

Wow.

That's farking deep.

So is a vagina.

Really? I bottomed out in your moms last night. Are you sure you're not adopeted?


Considering that my mom is a midget scat porn star, that's actually kind of funny.

And my name's not ted, either.
 
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