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(London Times)   Why women hate it when their partners are laid off. Because men can do domestic stuff more creatively and efficiently than them, basically   (women.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 361
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21694 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2009 at 7:51 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-01-31 08:28:40 PM  
ph0rk: I find that I do things more efficiently by not doing them until she does them. Things get done, with a minimum amount of work from me.

Honey?
 
2009-01-31 08:29:17 PM  
I was raised in a liberal quaker household by a father with strong objectivist leanings. Sufficed to say I was gradually conditioned to enjoy hard work and to undertake it of my own volition rather than being told to. It's funny because he was actually a big softie, would go overboard on gifts and was a really loving dad, he just believed strongly in productivity, and couldn't tolerate sloth.

I resented it a bit in my teen years when I was expected to work to afford my own car while classmates were given their own at 16. I hate vacuuming and mowing the lawn the most, but he was insistent on a clean home and a tidy yard. Eventually I talked him into buying a pair of roombas and a pair of robo-mowers, both of which would operate and recharge themselves autonomously, so my only real job was to clean and maintain them, which I actually sort of enjoyed.

Finally I moved out when I went to college. Huge relief, right? Finally I wouldn't have to leap at every job that needed doing, I could split it with my roommates and finally get some rest once in a while. WRONG! My roommates could not be bothered to do anything, ever. I had one who was from a similar household who was wonderfully reliable about doing chores but the rest were awful, including this one winner who would hide dirty dishes under furniture throughout the apartment in order to avoid washing them. Every time we'd move furniture we'd find a nasty surprise waiting underneath.

But a funny thing happened. I fell back into my old habits, pushing myself for lack of anyone else to push me. I wound up doing everyone's dishes, cleaning the apartment every Monday and so on and so forth. It didn't matter that I had hated my chores growing up, it was enough that I had been made to do them so that I associated the actual act with the benefits I enjoyed afterward (a clean home, a tidy yard). I had become accustomed to being pushed to be productive, so much so that in the absence of that pressure, I had learned to push myself.That association is what my dad meant to impress upon me, so that I'd be self reliant later in life. Either that or he figured that I owed him labor in exchange for food and shelter, if you knew him you'd realize it could really go either way. =]


All of this ties into the topic as in every relationship I've had, the significant other would sort of balk as I did my own laundary, cooked competently for myself (and for them) and still happily paid their way. They'd wonder what the catch was, then eventually shrug their shoulders and accept it. To this day I can't imagine setting out with the expectation that my wife should clean up after me, cook for me or clean my clothes. She needs to eat, too. Let her cook for herself, rather than for both of us. She has her own clothes, let her wash them rather than mine. She makes her own messes, let her clean up those, and leave mine to me. I'm after a girlfriend, not a second mother.
 
2009-01-31 08:30:41 PM  
namegoeshere: ph0rk: I find that I do things more efficiently by not doing them until she does them. Things get done, with a minimum amount of work from me.

Honey?


Yeah, I'll take out the recycling tonight. Definitely by tomorrow. This week, sometime.

Oh, we're low on beer. Just FYI.
 
2009-01-31 08:31:11 PM  
ksjones: ordZorch:

... only do laundry when they run out of clean panties.

or just quit wearing them


That's ok, honey. We can throw that chair out.
 
2009-01-31 08:32:07 PM  
Ah, the single life. I own no dishes, don't fold or iron laundry. My fridge usually has just beer and mixed drink materials in it.

/so ronery
 
2009-01-31 08:32:48 PM  
ph0rk: namegoeshere: ph0rk: I find that I do things more efficiently by not doing them until she does them. Things get done, with a minimum amount of work from me.

Honey?

Yeah, I'll take out the recycling tonight. Definitely by tomorrow. This week, sometime.

Oh, we're low on beer. Just FYI.


It IS you. Your farts stink, BTW.
 
2009-01-31 08:33:46 PM  
It's all worth it when she has that look on her face, that look of realization that you're done putting up with all of her insane bullshiat.
 
2009-01-31 08:33:47 PM  
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Tr0mBoNe: Suede head: Well, vaginas have always mystified me. I mean, they're a hole, an absence. What do you do with them? Cocks are easy. You know where you are with a cock.

Wow.

That's farking deep.

So is a vagina.


Really? I bottomed out in your moms last night. Are you sure you're not adopeted?
 
2009-01-31 08:34:00 PM  
crunch-o-matic: You know what else men do better?

Not biatching about housework.


Not me, I biatch every time my gf asks me to do something. I hate cleaning, but she still tries to get me to clean it soo cute...
 
2009-01-31 08:34:24 PM  
cthu1hu: Ah, the single life. I own no dishes, don't fold or iron laundry. My fridge usually has just beer and mixed drink materials in it.

/so ronery


Dude... scurvy.
 
2009-01-31 08:36:15 PM  
Typhoid: Oh please. I would come home from work to do dishes, mow the lawn, etc, and he would just sit and play videogames. When I asked him to help he'd yell, "I work all day, I deserve to be able to relax!"

So WTF. Where can I get one of these househusbands?


Right here.
 
2009-01-31 08:37:27 PM  
LordZorch: American women stopped doing household chores about 30 years ago, but will deny that fact to the death, even when it is obvious that it is true.

Most of them can't cook, won't clean, and only do laundry when they run out of clean panties.

Damn...your life sucks; sounds like you can't find a descent woman to care about you. What's u'r problem, & why do you attract sucky babes? Maybe you should try a little less hostility & a lot more charm there, Prince Alarming?
 
2009-01-31 08:40:42 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: cthu1hu: Ah, the single life. I own no dishes, don't fold or iron laundry. My fridge usually has just beer and mixed drink materials in it.

/so ronery

Dude... scurvy.


I use lots of limes in my beer. Problem solved.
 
2009-01-31 08:41:11 PM  
Crazy Lee:
In the best of all possible worlds all vertical surfaces would be stainless, all horizontal surfaces ceramic tile.


I tiled my entire house based on this principle. I was looking for some kind of cement drywall replacement (at least for the bathrooms) and the wife shut it down w/ the annoyingly correct comment "there's nothing wrong with the walls, why replace them?"

Time is on my side. Eventually, something will happen to the walls!!! Mark my words!!!!

/glares menacingly at walls
 
2009-01-31 08:42:08 PM  
eddyatwork: Christ, like any modern American woman can even cook today. Shut down McDonald's and half the families in the country would starve to death.

Christ was an modern American woman?
 
2009-01-31 08:42:13 PM  
When I was out of work for a bit my wife got upset about my hands-off ideas about child care. She would call home, "where is our son?" "in the yard" "Doing what?" "playing" "with what?" " I dunno, dirt and sticks and stuff".
 
2009-01-31 08:44:29 PM  
My brother-in-law is just a lazy ass. Being a drummer won't bring him a fortune and neither will gaming. He'd do better as a waiter or bartender or ditchdigger. I don't think he can clean worth a crap.
 
2009-01-31 08:45:01 PM  
My ex considered house cleaning flushing her own toilet after she took a shiat. She might have "cleaned house" once every two weeks. I suppose she felt it was performance art that the kids would enjoy.
 
2009-01-31 08:45:07 PM  
My partner was out of work for three months last year, and he did a ton of housework out of boredom. It was awesome having the house so sparkling clean with no effort on my part, though the other side effects of getting laid off (stress, self esteem issues, etc.) were not worth it at all.

As for wimmins and housework: I hate laundry, but I enjoy cooking and cleaning. We split all the housework 50/50, unless one of us has a difficult week; in that case, the other will take on more of the chores as a way of pampering the stressed one. It works well. Given that we both work full time, I don't see why one of us should do more housework than the other.
 
2009-01-31 08:45:44 PM  
Silovik:I find it depends on education level. If they have a university degree they can not function domestically, and think your trying to persecute them if you ask them to boil water. But shiat, don't pay for dinner when your out and they become the 50's lady that still clings to old traditions.

THIS.

Lexx: This just in - talent and ambition tend to be higher in people trying to rise up in the world than in homebodies.

And yet, when achievement-oriented personalities meet domestic responsibilities head-on what happens? Exactly what I've read above: cleaner dishes, cleaner floors, better meals, quality parenting time, ...plus all the other stuff guys do that doesn't get compared to "her contribution" (yard work, gutter cleaning, car servicing, and the invisible hand of Mr. Fixit.) F*ing acre of grass and she's in the yard just long enough to leave four bushels of weeds with dead spots under them once or twice a year.

Her comment when she saw me doing it all while brining in 90% of the income: "You don't need me anymore!"

No, I don't. Go figure out who does. Bye.

/wasn't all bad, lasted 18 yrs
//2 wonderful daughters
///divorce was final this month (can you tell?)
 
2009-01-31 08:45:57 PM  
I think that women today are confused about their roles in the world.

Feminism has taught them to be in charge and take more "masculine" roles. But their biology makes them desire to be submissive to men. hell, even Hilary Clinton likes a good slap on the ass every now and then.

Next, you have a generation of truly pussy men. We're so bad that we're not even called men anymore: we're guys. How many men do you know that have never been in an honest to god fistfight?

So put the two of them together, secure in the knowledge that women control the sex, and viola! We have a social dynamic that is unsatisfying for everyone!

Back in the day we had a social contract. I the man, will go out and work, build bridges, fight wars, cure diseases, and unravel the secrets of the universe to wield godlike power.

You the woman: you keep the place tidy, cook a little something and try not to be a big whore.

And you know what? Everyone was happy
 
2009-01-31 08:46:31 PM  
namegoeshere: ph0rk: namegoeshere: ph0rk: I find that I do things more efficiently by not doing them until she does them. Things get done, with a minimum amount of work from me.

Honey?

Yeah, I'll take out the recycling tonight. Definitely by tomorrow. This week, sometime.

Oh, we're low on beer. Just FYI.

It IS you. Your farts stink, BTW.


Huh? Oh. Right. Forgot you were there. Hey, did you get any beer?
 
2009-01-31 08:46:46 PM  
ChainBlue123: When I was out of work for a bit my wife got upset about my hands-off ideas about child care. She would call home, "where is our son?" "in the yard" "Doing what?" "playing" "with what?" " I dunno, dirt and sticks and stuff".

LOL... and he'll be creative, independent, & free of allergies...
 
2009-01-31 08:48:40 PM  
I've found that I'm better at the harder and/or messier jobs. Women are MUCH better at keeping on top of the day to day stuff, IMO.

/going to crush some beer cans
 
2009-01-31 08:48:43 PM  
Wall Anchor: Silovik:I find it depends on education level. If they have a university degree they can not function domestically, and think your trying to persecute them if you ask them to boil water. But shiat, don't pay for dinner when your out and they become the 50's lady that still clings to old traditions.

THIS.

Lexx: This just in - talent and ambition tend to be higher in people trying to rise up in the world than in homebodies.

And yet, when achievement-oriented personalities meet domestic responsibilities head-on what happens? Exactly what I've read above: cleaner dishes, cleaner floors, better meals, quality parenting time, ...plus all the other stuff guys do that doesn't get compared to "her contribution" (yard work, gutter cleaning, car servicing, and the invisible hand of Mr. Fixit.) F*ing acre of grass and she's in the yard just long enough to leave four bushels of weeds with dead spots under them once or twice a year.

Her comment when she saw me doing it all while brining in 90% of the income: "You don't need me anymore!"

No, I don't. Go figure out who does. Bye.

/wasn't all bad, lasted 18 yrs
//2 wonderful daughters
///divorce was final this month (can you tell?)


Children are old enough to not require support and the passion's gone from the marriage? Hell yeah get a divorce. Too bad about the income loss but hey, at the very least your love life will improve.
 
2009-01-31 08:49:01 PM  
Sure they can, while it's a novelty. Keeping track of the logistics and minutiae of running a household and raising children may just begin to feel like drudgery after enough days that never end.

Not to mention the sheer physical toll of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding...
 
2009-01-31 08:50:01 PM  
yyaskyy: Christ was an modern American woman?

the oprah.
 
2009-01-31 08:50:36 PM  
Magnanimous_J: And you know what? Everyone was happy

LOL, nice one. No, they weren't.
 
2009-01-31 08:50:46 PM  
cthu1hu: I use lots of limes in my beer. Problem solved.

Alcohol Abuse!!! STOP PUTTING shiat IN THE BEER!

/screwdrivers and vodkalimes should be enough vit-c
 
2009-01-31 08:51:06 PM  
Magnanimous_J: I think that women today are confused about their roles in the world.

Feminism has taught them to be in charge and take more "masculine" roles. But their biology makes them desire to be submissive to men. hell, even Hilary Clinton likes a good slap on the ass every now and then.

Next, you have a generation of truly pussy men. We're so bad that we're not even called men anymore: we're guys. How many men do you know that have never been in an honest to god fistfight?

So put the two of them together, secure in the knowledge that women control the sex, and viola! We have a social dynamic that is unsatisfying for everyone!

Back in the day we had a social contract. I the man, will go out and work, build bridges, fight wars, cure diseases, and unravel the secrets of the universe to wield godlike power.

You the woman: you keep the place tidy, cook a little something and try not to be a big whore.

And you know what? Everyone was happy


Sir, your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

//nah, I'll just take "be whoever the fark you want to be and fark everyone's opinion" over societal pressures - in any age.
 
2009-01-31 08:51:15 PM  
Silovik: LordZorch: American women stopped doing household chores about 30 years ago, but will deny that fact to the death, even when it is obvious that it is true.

Most of them can't cook, won't clean, and only do laundry when they run out of clean panties.

I find it depends on education level. If they have a university degree they can not function domestically, and think your trying to persecute them if you ask them to boil water. But shiat, don't pay for dinner when your out and they become the 50's lady that still clings to old traditions.

...but hey they look awesome naked, so I can't complain.


I was going to get angry about this comment, and then I realized that it said "American" and I am not. So, carry on.

/degrees & diplomas and still love to cook
//refuse to let a guy pay for me...unless he gets really upset if I refuse :(
 
2009-01-31 08:51:57 PM  
If at least two days out of your week are 'naked' days....no need for much clean laundry I say =)
 
2009-01-31 08:52:37 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: cthu1hu: I use lots of limes in my beer. Problem solved.

Alcohol Abuse!!! STOP PUTTING shiat IN THE BEER!

/screwdrivers and vodkalimes should be enough vit-c


Limes belong in mexican beers and orange slices belong in belgian wheat ales. We'll leave your other beers alone if you'll just shut up about ours.
 
2009-01-31 08:53:43 PM  
Magnanimous_J: And you know what? Everyone was happy

If you'd be around to witness it, you'd know that isn't true. Women are never happy.
 
2009-01-31 08:54:12 PM  
ChadManMn: going to crush some beer cans

with your tits?
 
2009-01-31 08:56:40 PM  
Why women hate it when their partners are laid off. Because men can do domestic stuff more creatively and efficiently than them, basically

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

*breath*

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I nominate this for biggest fantasy headline of the year.

As soon as I meet a guy who doesn't have to empty his fridge to find "that smell," one who doesn't have brown rings in his toilet, or one who doesn't leave crusted and mold-covered bowls in bedroom nooks, I might reconsider.

/I'm not even asking for all. One would be enough.
 
2009-01-31 08:56:51 PM  
er, been around
 
2009-01-31 08:57:51 PM  
Lexx: Children are old enough to not require support and the passion's gone from the marriage? Hell yeah get a divorce. Too bad about the income loss but hey, at the very least your love life will improve.

Hey Lexx,

Pretty much. Kids are 10/12, there's support of course but no alimony. I'd support the kids either way so that's fine; economically I'm ahead because the shared income I generated isn't going toward $800 excursions to Yoga retreat centers or mystical "energy work" massage bullshiat.

The love life has already improved 500%. Right on.
 
2009-01-31 08:57:56 PM  
brigid_fitch: I did discover that he does the grocery shopping better than I do. I get distracted & usually forget 1 or 2 things, as well as buying stuff not on my list because it looked like a good idea.

Hunt vs graze. Men generally go to the store (any store) with a specific list of shiat to get. We get exactly that...no more, no less.
Women seem to go and see what looks good, and maybe get something.
 
2009-01-31 08:58:27 PM  
Hehehe... Men suckered women into thinking that we hate feminism, equal sexual rights, home cared is so farking hard with vacuum cleaner, washing machine and dryer.

Yeah, you go girls, have yourself stress and heart attack at your desk in your early 40s!
 
2009-01-31 08:58:41 PM  
paygun: If you'd be around to witness it, you'd know that isn't true. Women are never happy.

Ok, you have a point there. Let me rephrase: Everyone was happier
 
2009-01-31 08:58:41 PM  
refrigeratorelf: As soon as I meet a guy who doesn't have to empty his fridge to find "that smell," one who doesn't have brown rings in his toilet, or one who doesn't leave crusted and mold-covered bowls in bedroom nooks, I might reconsider.

maybe you can hang out with his wife
 
2009-01-31 08:59:23 PM  
Lexx: Limes belong in mexican beers and orange slices belong in belgian wheat ales. We'll leave your other beers alone if you'll just shut up about ours.

If they needed them they would have put them in at the brewery. You're just doctoring up inferior beer.
 
2009-01-31 08:59:55 PM  
paygun: Magnanimous_J: And you know what? Everyone was happy

If you'd be around to witness it, you'd know that isn't true. Women are never happy.


The sane ones are, they're just really hard to find. Often they don't surface until their 40s. Just like the men, basically. :)
 
2009-01-31 09:00:33 PM  
This thread reminds me, I need to do my dishes...

/floor needs mopping too, but I'm still too afraid I'll screw up the hardwood somehow
 
2009-01-31 09:00:55 PM  
We sat down and looked at our budget the other night. If I got laid off, we could cut ALL of our extraneous spending (even cable, internet, etc.) and get by just fine.

Damn, it's tempting. I've been either working full time, or was a student + worked part time since 1989 with no more than a week off for vacation.

/Plus I have 5 cases of finished homebrew and two batches going...
 
2009-01-31 09:01:26 PM  
1) Had three roommates in college for a while, had three common rooms.

Great. We each take one a room a week (and rotate)to clean and the place is spotless, right? Wrong. Cleaned the bathroom the first TWO weeks, then stopped and finally two months later started again and one roomie said 'Oh, I guess it WAS my turn wasnt it?'
Yeah, NINE FREAKING WEEKS AGO!

2) I was raised right, mom kept the house spotless, dad an only child and an AF lifer so I know how to cleam, just didnt do it, living alone.

But you know what? The place is NICER when it's clean, who woulda thunk that?

3) I can't tell you how many women I've dated who just want to quit their jobs and hang out at home, living off a guy.

4) It's damned irritating to see men protrayed as helpless/clueless. Women? Your man isnt helping out? Either tell him no sex until he starts or find a new one.

But for God's sake DON'T sit around a biatch about it.

Truly appalling.
 
2009-01-31 09:01:31 PM  
paygun: refrigeratorelf: As soon as I meet a guy who doesn't have to empty his fridge to find "that smell," one who doesn't have brown rings in his toilet, or one who doesn't leave crusted and mold-covered bowls in bedroom nooks, I might reconsider.

maybe you can hang out with his wife


I imagine she would have a ton of free time, what with not having to clean up after him.
 
2009-01-31 09:01:47 PM  
Tr0mBoNe: Lexx: Limes belong in mexican beers and orange slices belong in belgian wheat ales. We'll leave your other beers alone if you'll just shut up about ours.

If they needed them they would have put them in at the brewery. You're just doctoring up inferior beer.


I've had good belgian wheat ales, and I've had so-so ones. They all benefitted from an orange slice.

They don't pre-rub steaks at the slaughterhouse either :p
 
2009-01-31 09:02:29 PM  
Where's my wife?

/I need more popcorn
 
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