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(News.com.au)   Slide deemed dangerous for small children. Rather than remove or repair it, property developer hires security guards to watch it day and night to make sure nobody plays on it   (news.com.au) divider line 45
    More: Stupid  
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8502 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2009 at 6:43 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-01-26 11:18:03 PM
Fools, they should have looked into time travel. (site has audio)
 
2009-01-26 11:43:01 PM
uh
 
2009-01-26 11:52:19 PM
Wow this is stupid. The park that I played at all the time when i was a kid had a metal slide. They just replaced it cause of some dumb arse kid thought it wouldn't be hot, in the middle of summer on one of the hottest days of the year, got a little friction burn and cried to mommy. Well looks like this new generation is going to be a bunch of pansies. When i have kids im going to make a damn metal slide myself. Ah how I miss my childhood.
 
2009-01-26 11:53:28 PM
So are there any pics of this killer slide?
 
2009-01-27 01:04:26 AM
One less job lost.
 
2009-01-27 02:21:32 AM
itazurakko: So are there any pics of this killer slide?

If you click through to the other article, it's actually a pretty serious slide:

images.whereilive.com.au

http://hobsons-bay-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/security-guards-watch-o ve r-point-cook-playground/^
 
2009-01-27 04:12:17 AM
Iggy_Hiatus: Well looks like this new generation is going to be a bunch of pansies. When i have kids im going to make a damn metal slide myself.

Mine's going to have spikes at the bottom to help them concentrate. And I'll make some balancing beams with bear-traps on either side.
 
2009-01-27 05:42:18 AM
IT'S ELECTRIC!
BOOGIE-WOOGIE-WOOGIE!
 
2009-01-27 06:46:17 AM
I'm thinking this is an insult? Or protest? Nobody could possibly be that bad at math, right?
 
2009-01-27 06:48:51 AM
opiumpoopy: Iggy_Hiatus: Well looks like this new generation is going to be a bunch of pansies. When i have kids im going to make a damn metal slide myself.

Mine's going to have spikes at the bottom to help them concentrate. And I'll make some balancing beams with bear-traps on either side.


Mine is going to have all that as well as several sections that will be randomly electrified.
 
2009-01-27 06:50:07 AM
....Looks at picture

Holy farkmother of baby Jesus!

First of all, if the housing development can afford that, I'm thinking residents could just buy new kids when theirs got damaged. Second of all, if a kid too small for this slide isn't scared shiatless, maybe it's time for them to learn a little fear.
 
2009-01-27 06:50:07 AM
Blackneto: uh

Second.
 
2009-01-27 06:53:21 AM
Damn, the whole slide issue aside, that would be a sweet job. I'll take the night shift, please.
 
2009-01-27 06:54:00 AM
TopoGigo: Second of all, if a kid too small for this slide isn't scared shiatless, maybe it's time for them to learn a little fear.

It's a slide that kills people, how cool is that?

It sounds like the most fun I could ever have in my life, and I'm not eight-years-old.
 
2009-01-27 06:54:18 AM
How is this slide dangerous? It's completely enclosed.
 
2009-01-27 06:54:46 AM
Procedural Texture: itazurakko: So are there any pics of this killer slide?

If you click through to the other article, it's actually a pretty serious slide:



http://hobsons-bay-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/security-guards-watch-o ve r-point-cook-playground/^


Holy shiat. I'm 33 and that looks like a hell of a fun slide.
 
2009-01-27 06:56:20 AM
This is the slide that's truly dangerous

www.guitarflame.com

/more likely than you stnk
 
2009-01-27 06:59:25 AM
itazurakko: So are there any pics of this killer slide?

i40.tinypic.com

/just kidding
//cold linked, like the chain on my gate in this weather.
 
2009-01-27 06:59:39 AM
I just spent a month in New Zealand, and let me just say this - Kiwis have an awesome "If kids want to kill themselves on play equipment, thats their (and their parents) business" attitude that rocks.

Everywhere I went, I saw these enormous "Flying Fox" type structures, unattended, in play-parks. Kids of all ages would climb onto a 8-10 foot high platform, grab the rope/tire thing suspended from a pulley on a cable, and jump off, sliding down the cable for up to 50-100 yards, a good 6-10 feet off the ground the whole time.

Nevermind that it would be extremely easy for anyone to fall off the rope and plummet to serious injury - if a kid wants to try it, let them.

I tried the rides myself, and man, I wished they had these death-traps when I was a kid in the US. But you can only have them in a cluture like NZ, where people can't sue, and the government also provides lifetime "Accident" Payments, if you hurt yourself.
 
2009-01-27 07:00:51 AM
Cool!

images.whereilive.com.au

"it complied with Australian standards but that these standards did not specify slide lengths and gradient ratios."

Hell no! I don't want either of those limited.
 
2009-01-27 07:00:53 AM
"These things happen in a nanny state. When I was still new to the neighborhood I looked out the window and saw a security guard standing in the middle of a playground, nothing to protect, nothing to guard, no doors. I couldn't figure out what he was guarding. And so I asked around; no one knew. Not even the Prime Minister. Finally they searched through the old records, and found the truth--that 200 years before, three children were hurt after playing from a slide. To keep anyone from getting hurt, they assigned a guard to stand watch over it every day; after that, they never gave it much thought, and thus never countermanded the order. As a result, every day, for 200 years, a guard would stand in that place...long after the slide was gone. Long after the *reason* had been forgotten. Long after the children were gone."
 
2009-01-27 07:01:28 AM
I think the security guard is more like the dudes at six flags. Just making sure you are reach the height requirements to ride.

/if i read the article correctly
//am i a buzzkill
///god i am so lame
////slashies
 
2009-01-27 07:04:15 AM
Yeah, I'm thinking a rather deep pool of quicksand at the bottom might cushion the little ones...
 
2009-01-27 07:17:45 AM
Brilliant!
 
2009-01-27 07:20:52 AM
Has anyone been hired to watch the guy in the car who's watching the kids?

/for the children
 
2009-01-27 07:22:46 AM
Procedural Texture: itazurakko: So are there any pics of this killer slide?

If you click through to the other article, it's actually a pretty serious slide:



http://hobsons-bay-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/security-guards-watch-o ve r-point-cook-playground/^


That looks so freakin fun. Why don't they just throw a nerf pit on the bottom? Nerf is the answer to all of life's problems. ALL of them.
 
2009-01-27 07:35:42 AM
OtherLittleGuy: "These things happen in a nanny state. When I was still new to the neighborhood I looked out the window and saw a security guard standing in the middle of a playground, nothing to protect, nothing to guard, no doors. I couldn't figure out what he was guarding. And so I asked around; no one knew. Not even the Prime Minister. Finally they searched through the old records, and found the truth--that 200 years before, three children were hurt after playing from a slide. To keep anyone from getting hurt, they assigned a guard to stand watch over it every day; after that, they never gave it much thought, and thus never countermanded the order. As a result, every day, for 200 years, a guard would stand in that place...long after the slide was gone. Long after the *reason* had been forgotten. Long after the children were gone."

I'm going out on a limb and going to say...

...Ambassador Molari?

/slide is teh awesome
//need moar danger for kids
 
2009-01-27 07:36:29 AM
Well, this is the logical progression of the welfare based state after all. Where a slight hazard exists, spend taxpayer money to hire one of the barely-educated dependent class to guard others from the "danger", at their expense. Destroying the concept of acceptable risk, leading to the slow death of personal initiative and entrepreneurial spirit are just the ideological icing on the cake for governments like this.
 
2009-01-27 07:36:39 AM
OtherLittleGuy: "These things happen in a nanny state. When I was still new to the neighborhood I looked out the window and saw a security guard standing in the middle of a playground, nothing to protect, nothing to guard, no doors. I couldn't figure out what he was guarding. And so I asked around; no one knew. Not even the Prime Minister. Finally they searched through the old records, and found the truth--that 200 years before, three children were hurt after playing from a slide. To keep anyone from getting hurt, they assigned a guard to stand watch over it every day; after that, they never gave it much thought, and thus never countermanded the order. As a result, every day, for 200 years, a guard would stand in that place...long after the slide was gone. Long after the *reason* had been forgotten. Long after the children were gone."

With the Londo Mollari reference, we have a winner! Collect your internet at the ticket booth, sir.


/B5 rocked the shiat out of anything on TV today
 
2009-01-27 07:39:17 AM
Or you can visit the coolest playground EVER Link (new window)
 
2009-01-27 07:43:25 AM
That's not a dangerous slide...
bp1.blogger.com
THIS is a dangerous slide.

/link as hot as a metal slide in the summer
 
2009-01-27 08:10:10 AM
dublinben: How is this slide dangerous? It's completely enclosed.

The little fat children, they could become trapped inside.
 
2009-01-27 08:16:00 AM
I want to go to there.
 
2009-01-27 08:35:51 AM
I wish we could have the N.Z. Zorby here in the You Ess of A.
 
2009-01-27 08:44:27 AM
opiumpoopy: Mine's going to have spikes at the bottom to help them concentrate. And I'll make some balancing beams with bear-traps on either side.

Mine will have calculus.
 
2009-01-27 08:56:27 AM
animalmagnet: Mine is going to have all that as well as several sections that will be randomly electrified.

Do you want your kids to grow up to be a bunch of Nancys? Don't forget the dogs and the bees and the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark, they shoot bees at you...
 
2009-01-27 09:15:38 AM
Jebus. The static electricity that thing would generate on but one trip down could power a small town for a month. Conversely, you could start your own arc-welding business without buying any tools.
 
2009-01-27 09:19:43 AM
I chipped my head on the archway of one of those all-metal slides.
It was a really hot day in Key West, so I thought it was just sweat pouring down my face until my Dad started freaking out.
 
2009-01-27 09:49:33 AM
Meh. Chicago did that.

When the Damen Avenue bridge was judged too weak to safely support trucks or city buses, the City of Chicago stationed two vans with two Streets Dept. union workers in each at each intersection on opposites sides of the bridge. We're talking 24 hours a day, double time for 4-6 months until they closed the road to begin replacing the bridge.

I'm sure the decision was that closing the road entirely would result in too many complaints from voters.
 
2009-01-27 10:14:14 AM
Procedural Texture: If you click through to the other article, it's actually a pretty serious slide:

Wow, yeah, that is pretty amazing.

Looks like it might be kinda fun but... the static electricity would be crazy!

mtylerjr: Everywhere I went, I saw these enormous "Flying Fox" type structures, unattended, in play-parks. Kids of all ages would climb onto a 8-10 foot high platform, grab the rope/tire thing suspended from a pulley on a cable, and jump off, sliding down the cable for up to 50-100 yards, a good 6-10 feet off the ground the whole time.

Japan has those too, and they rock.

Crudbucket: The little fat children, they could become trapped inside.

Heh. I was sorta wondering that on first glance.
 
2009-01-27 10:23:01 AM
My kids almost never leave the house and when they do I make sure they are completely wrapped in foam rubber and bubble wrap. The oldest one almost fell down the other day and scratched his helmet and I had to call 911 to get an ambulance and three fire trucks there to make sure little snowflake hadn't harmed himself. They never leave my sight, even at night. They sleep in bed with the wife and I so that we are never more than 3 feet away from them at any time. The implanted GPS locators may have been a bit over the top, but you just can't risk it.
 
2009-01-27 12:27:50 PM
HEY! Has anyone posted this yet? THIS IS A DANGEROUS SLIDE HA HA HA!

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-01-27 12:59:44 PM
I think "Death Slide" would be a great name for a rock band.
 
2009-01-27 01:41:15 PM
Hey I just found this pic which is appropriate for the story. I think it's shopped.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-01-27 02:02:40 PM
Wow... I want to go on that slide. Looks real fun!
 
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