That's what I've been telling you all for years!!!

... right?

:-/

Caturday again? Feels like it just happened yesterday...

Could it be maybe possibly Catunday?

We had a cat that LOVED coffee.

It seems the Caturday infection is starting to spread...soon it will consume the work week, and then what will we do?

Your brain may stay intact, but your heart will give out.

/Moderation

Junk science. Correlation does not equal causation.

My brain certainly wants coffee

/seriously, it will shut down and start hurting in no uncertain terms if I don't go through the proper morning start-up procedure
//did something wrong yesterday, not sure what, but had a migraine for 24+ hours straight

That reminds me, time for another cup.

/And then maybe a toke, I heard weed prevents Alzheimers too...

Sonder Junk science. Correlation does not equal causation.

You're a farking retard. It is near impossible to control for every variable in a life style longitudinal study on health. This is why for years the tobacco lobby spouted off that bullshiat, "There is no PROOF that smoking kills you." No, just a ton of evidence. In the case of the article, they even provide a way in which caffeine may have an effect on the bloodstream, which points the way for further research.

I'd like to personally pound in the face of every jingoist asstard that mindlessly spouts this correlation =/= causation nonsense. The entire foundation of statistics is to find correlative patterns, and while it does not always mean causation, it sometimes does.

/statistician

pchancharl: jingoist

I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Glad to see more justification for my coffee habit.

Militant Moderate I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Jingoism is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as "extreme patriotism in the form of aggressive foreign policy".[1] In practice, it refers to the advocation of the use of threats or actual force against other countries in order to safeguard what they perceive as their country's national interests, and colloquially to excessive bias in judging one's own country as superior to others - an extreme type of nationalism.

Ah, I am an idiot. I suppose I thought it referred to someone who relied on memes and simple heuristic thought patterns rather than reasoned thought. Now that I think about it I want a new word for that.

Oh well.

pchancharl: Militant Moderate I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Jingoism is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as "extreme patriotism in the form of aggressive foreign policy".[1] In practice, it refers to the advocation of the use of threats or actual force against other countries in order to safeguard what they perceive as their country's national interests, and colloquially to excessive bias in judging one's own country as superior to others - an extreme type of nationalism.

Ah, I am an idiot. I suppose I thought it referred to someone who relied on memes and simple heuristic thought patterns rather than reasoned thought. Now that I think about it I want a new word for that.

Oh well.

The trouble is that the words have the same extension.

pchancharl: Now that I think about it I want a new word for that.

Hmm, how about "Republican"?

It is near impossible to control for every variable in a life style longitudinal study on healthpchancharl: Sonder Junk science. Correlation does not equal causation.

You're a farking retard. It is near impossible to control for every variable in a life style longitudinal study on health. This is why for years the tobacco lobby spouted off that bullshiat, "There is no PROOF that smoking kills you." No, just a ton of evidence. In the case of the article, they even provide a way in which caffeine may have an effect on the bloodstream, which points the way for further research.

I'd like to personally pound in the face of every jingoist asstard that mindlessly spouts this correlation =/= causation nonsense. The entire foundation of statistics is to find correlative patterns, and while it does not always mean causation, it sometimes does.

/statistician

Just because there is a simple peripheral environmental commonality in a test group, you can't claim benbefit from that peripheral without a different test OF that peripheral.

What YOU are using is what we actual scientists call 'false logic.' A cat has four legs - ergo, all four-legged animals are cats.'

There is plainly no actual medical finding in this article. There's no basis, SCIENTIFICALLY to claim that coffee had an actual role in the mental longevity of the test subjects other than a common peripheral.

you know what ELSE was common? They all wore socks.

Go read Aristotle's essay on essence and accident and get back to me.

Assjack.

/Engineer

Sleep is overrated anyway.

My yellow lab has coffee with me in the morning, so we're really getting a kick out ZOMG THROW THE BALL THE BALL BALL BALL WALK WALK WALK IT'S MY PAL THE SQUIRREL TIME FOR TREATS YET? OK HOW ABOUT THROW THE BALL
(typical morning with Taz the wondermutt)

sonder: Junk science. Correlation does not equal causation.

Agreed.

It's funny how some simply just believe this (or many other) articles.

Nothing can be proven. One can only provide a preponderance of evidence.

If anything I doubt the caffeine is exerting a protective effect as high concentrations induce glutamate neurotoxicity. There are hundreds of unique molecules in coffee that could be doing something beneficial, but I suspect you would get the same benefit from decaf.

On a second thought, considering that caffeine also mimics adenine which is involved in diurnal gene regulation there might be something to it.

Me before my coffee:

Study shows caffiene/hallucination connection (new window)

A recent study conducted by a team of researchers from the University of Durham, High intake of coffee, tea and caffeinated energy drinks could be linked to a greater tendency to hallucinate.

Step 1: drink a lot of coffee (or other caffiene product

Step 2: hallucinate

Step 3: voices in head tell you that you aren't senile

I'll weigh in on the correlation/causation conversation with this tidbit. A scientist went to a bar and observed the patrons carefully. He discovered that almost all of the patrons who were consuming grenadine became drunk or exhibited signs of intoxication. He then concluded that grenadine causes intoxication, because of the high correlation of grenadine consumption to intoxication.

Coffee and cats? That's gonna be one horrible amalgamation of anti-funny. Hell, that was already demonstrated in the Boobies.

I tip my hat to you; I didn't know it was possible to suck so bad.

TooCheapToTF: I'll weigh in on the correlation/causation conversation with this tidbit. A scientist went to a bar and observed the patrons carefully. He discovered that almost all of the patrons who were consuming grenadine became drunk or exhibited signs of intoxication. He then concluded that grenadine causes intoxication, because of the high correlation of grenadine consumption to intoxication.

And then the bartender said "Hey wait a minute. That's not a scientist."

Hahahahaha.

That joke sucked.

ThrobblefootSpectre: That joke sucked.

Wasn't really a joke. It was an example used to prove a point in a science class I took back in college. We all know grenadine is basically sugar water. Correlation != causation.

TooCheapToTF: Wasn't really a joke. It was an example used to prove a point in a science class I took back in college. We all know grenadine is basically sugar water. Correlation != causation

:-) I was kidding.

(And I suspect that the team of doctoral medical researchers know the difference between correlation and cause)

These epistemological musings are fascinating. Personally, I doubt the article because I have no reason to believe that it, coffee, or the brain truly exist in corporeal reality, since I can only be sure of the existence of my own sensory impressions. So that makes me smart, yeah?

I'm with pchancharl. Perhaps he could be more politely expressed. It is absolutely necessary to employ statistical epidemiology in health matters. The human body is far too complex too hope to understand simply in terms of causal phenomenon. There could be multiple mechanisms in play here, so far as anyone knows.

//Correlation doesn't prove causation, true
//but often proof is an absurdly high standard to hope to meet,
//cybernetically speaking

modesto: These epistemological musings are fascinating. Personally, I doubt the article because I have no reason to believe that it, coffee, or the brain truly exist in corporeal reality, since I can only be sure of the existence of my own sensory impressions. So that makes me smart, yeah?

I'm a philosophy major so I'm really getting a kick out of this reply.

/yeah, yeah, I know
//would you like fries with that
///::sob::
////okay maybe not

Joan o' Fark:

//would you like fries with that
///::sob::
////okay maybe not


Cheer up. You can always make another horrible life choice and go to law school like I did.